Beijing Boyce

Browns put its money where its mouth is by holding an all-night two-for-one party two weeks ago. The special didn’t suddenly end halfway through the evening when the owner panicked about losing money. It wasn’t limited to those drinks that are dirt cheap to make. And the drinks themselves were not watered down. It all raised the question: Was this really happening in Beijing? I mean, did I really witness from opening to closing – which came sometime after I left at 4 AM – Guinness and Kilkenny for a mere 17.5 kuai per pint? Browns move shocked some bar owners, particularly since Guinness costs them around 30 kuai a pint, but to me it made perfect sense. The bar lost money on the draft, made money on the mixed drinks, and on the night ended up just below break-even, a loss that was a fraction of the cost of a magazine ad and that was necessary to show off the place to hundreds of people. It’s called marketing.

I’ve now been to Browns about ten times, either for drinks or food, and it has the potential of becoming the year’s best bar. (Its impact is already evident from the scores of wine, food, hotel, and bar industry people checking it out). First, the investors (11 in total) have put money not only into hardware, but also into software. The hardware was fairly easy since the bar is a knockoff of Carnegie’s in Taipei, with everything copied from the list of 366 shooters to the general layout, which includes a standing area, tiered seating, and a long bar that can hold both drinks and dancers. In terms of software, Browns has hired employees from Beijing, Hong Kong, The Philippines and Ireland, and is putting money into marketing.

Second, Browns is unpretentious. The clientele includes expatriates and locals, equal numbers of men and women, and everyone from twenty-something students to sixty-something CEOs. Blue jeans and blue pinstripe suits are equally welcome. Third, the location is good, near the Bookworm, Midnight, Banana Leaf and numerous other places. These establishments are bringing an increasing number of customers to the area and complementing one other. Fourth, it is something new. Love it or hate it, the people I talked to saw it as clearly different from other bars in town (everyone except Agent Red Wolf, who called it “a big Suzie Wong’s”).

Unsurprisingly, given it is a new bar, all is not perfect. Browns does not take credit cards, the menu is full of mistakes (“Long Sex Island Beach”) and some employees have incredible difficulty understanding drink orders (my friend Pony suggests numbering the shooter specials: “number three” is easier for non-English speaking staff to comprehend than “Fisherman’s Wharf” or “Hell on Earth”). Extremely annoying wall monitors are everywhere. And Eddie O, at Browns last Saturday night, says, “You should never ask, “How would you like your ribs done?” That’s just not a question you ask about ribs.”

Worst of all is the inconsistent music. During the two-for-one party, the DJ played plenty of recognizable if sometimes cheesy songs, including hits by eighties artists ranging from Billy Idol to Soft Cell to Michael Jackson. One week later? After hours of soul-draining dance tunes, the DJ suddenly yelled, “My name is Matt and I am your maestro!” (Yawn.) Really, do we need someone to shout things like “Let’s get the party started and, uh, uh, uh… it’s two for one!” It gives the place all the class of a small-town high school dance. (I also get the feeling that Browns is trying a bit too hard to get the dance-on-the-bar-top thing going.) Carnegie’s in Taipei thrives because it is consistent, including with its music. It’s a good model to follow and if Browns is as clever at running the bar as it was in opening it, this place should succeed.

(By the way, if someone says “this is the hottest bar in town” at the very moment you are listening to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” having a rather regular gin and tonic and watching two nerdy expatriates try to pick up a pair of local cuties, does that say more about Browns or about the local bar scene?)

(From Beijing Boyce XI, first emailed on February 23, 2006)

A lot is made of the growing number of clubs on Gongti West Road, which has risen from zero to ten in less than a year, and includes Babyface, Cargo, Angel, and numerous copycats. How can these places survive? Perhaps, it’s because they are going after young, moneyed Chinese – the “Chivas and green tea club” – a rapidly growing group.

More troubling is the increasing number of players seeking a chunk of the moneyed expatriate market – not exactly the fastest growing demographic – especially those opening multifunction establishments. Just opened: Browns, a British-style pub that will add adjoining sake, tequila and vodka bars; just re-opened: icehouse, a blues bar attached to a high-end Japanese restaurant and a lounge; soon to open: Trio, a three-floor facility with a New York-style grill, the new Frank’s Place, and The Cellar. I’ve already indicated to some of the investors in these multipurpose places that I think they are a bit mad. They have assured me that the feeling is mutual (and several claim to have proof to back up their assertions.) But, when you add in other newcomers, such as The Pavillion and The Pomegranate, and older establishments ranging from John Bull Pub to Big Easy to Suzie Wong to Centro, one wonders if there are enough patrons to go around. I started breaking down some of these places – including Browns, icehouse, Trio and Pavillion – into pluses, minuses and questions marks in order to get a grip on who has the best chance of surviving. Since I’m already running over this issue and since I just got to Shanghai and will be running around doing research (translation: meeting friends and checking restaurants and bars), I’ll pick up on this theme next issue.

(From Beijing Boyce XI, first emailed on February 23, 2006)

If every bar has its unique clientele, then Suzy Wong’s is horny people, aged 25 to 45, who enjoy 10-minute techno versions of Irene Cara’s What a Feeling, followed by a similar opus based loosely on Duran Duran’s Wild Boys. To each his/her/its own, I guess. The meat market doesn’t truly get started until about 11 PM. Those who dislike feeling like a lightly seasoned lamb chop in a butcher shop window should arrange to be elsewhere. It was enjoyable, though, to be the only soul on the deck two Saturday nights back. I spent a good hour enjoying solitude in that crisp fall air. Ah, to have space in Beijing.

(From Beijing Boyce IV, first emailed on November 22, 2005)

Time is running out for spending fantastic fall nights on a rooftop or deck. Options include The Big Easy (relaxing), Suzie Wong (people watching), Nuage (views of Hou Hai and the drum and bell towers) and Hai Bar (the same, but more rustic and cheaper). / Want to see the Astros win the World Series? Be a benchwarmer at the Goose and Duck or John Bull Pub. / Wine industry bigwigs constantly come to town since everyone wants a drop of China. I’m working on putting together wine tasting listings. / If you haven’t seen Ah-Q bring down the house at CD Jazz Club, catch their show on Thursday nights. Trombonist Matt Roberts says the house has been packed of late and he’s trying to figure out an encore. Ah-Q was playing at icehouse but the club, being a blues bar, wanted an, um, blues band, which makes you wonder why they hired a jazz one to begin with. / Steak and Eggs vegetarian omelet with hash browns and toast: RMB19. Get this and three other breakfast specials before 11 AM, or four RMB25 lunch specials, all October, as the place celebrates its anniversary. / Would Summergate wine please get a web page? You guys have some nice Antinori products, but make it too hard to find out about them. / The Starving Artists Party on September 15 at Yan Club was another finely run event by that’s Beijing, which includes the restaurant awards at Bar Blu and bar awards at Zing by Doodoo’s. It helps to partner with ASC Fine Wines, who poured Chilean Sauvignon Blanc and Cabernet Sauvignon, and Sculpting in Time, which provided the eats. Funnily enough, I ran into a pair of Italian journalists were had just arrived in Beijing that day. And where did they hear about the party? From another journalist in North Korea. / The next issue includes Marketing Beverages on the Great Wall, Beer Mania, Books: Those Things Made Out of Paper, $10,000 wine glasses, A Bar with an Identity Crisis, and more. / Build the community: If you know people who would like this newsletter, pass it on. They just need to send a message to me to get on the mailing list. / Again, your comments and questions are welcome. I do realize that this issue is nearly 3,000 words long. Believe me: my fingers barely have the strength to pick up the single shot of 10-year-old Balvenie Single Malt I allow myself each month. Cheers, BB.

(From Beijing Boyce II, first emailed on October 20, 2005) 

Another guy making Beijing better is Rich Robinson, who for the love of humor organizes the Chopschticks comedy shows here and in Shanghai. There were two hundred people at icehouse on September 17 to see John Bush and Tom Shillue, the two comedians Rich flew in from the U.S. (Tom equated being denied sex by a particular sweetheart in high school with him carrying two increasingly swelling mailbags – with every letter in them addressed to her and eager for delivery.) Kudos to Rich and Cherry for making the project a success: check www.chopschticks.com for the next show.
To my horror and delight, Rich bought me a martini: horror, as my last icehouse martini had “notes of kerosene”, delight, as I rarely get free drinks and this one was good. Take this as a sign from Buddha that icehouse is poised to be, as many expect, a major player on Beijing’s high-end bar scene.

After the show, a few of us took John and Tom on a tour of some Beijing nightspots. It’s hard to beat the spacious rooftop deck at Suzie Wong’s on a cool fall evening. Funnily enough, my colleague Lige arrived and remembered Tom from a show he did on 72nd Street in New York – five years ago. If that feat of memory wasn’t enough, she recalled three of his jokes, two of which he had told us at the show just a few hours earlier.

(From Beijing Boyce I, first emailed on October 6, 2005)