Beijing Boyce

I attended a going-away party last Monday for two friends who have since made The Big Exit (goodbye Pam and Peter!). Any affair that involves pre-dinner libations, a five-course meal with individual menus, retirement to a lounge for post-dinner Whiskey and cigars, and endless hours of conversation is so civilized as to upset my natural balance and thus require a dose of Down and Dirty. But where does one go on a Monday night at 11 PM? Here are two options.

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Rock n’ Roll

I last visited in November, so let me borrow from that post:

You get to Rock n’ Roll through an entrance that features a rippled cement wall traversed by water and illuminated with red light. If that doesn’t scare you off, enter the cargo elevator and exit to a dim lobby dominated by concrete, stainless steel, a turnstile, and more red light. (This seems like a perfect set for a movie about foreign bar-goers who head out in search of a night of fun but instead find themselves drugged and harvested of organs, but I digress.)

Things are more amenable inside and on this night the place both rocked and rolled. The lights, layout, and vibe make me think this place is out of some 1980s film like Short Circuit (I don’t mean that in a bad way - it just seems retro). The dance floor seethed with patrons, a quartet of young ladies zipped through cocktails at the bar, and we hovered between and downed beer at RMB25 per bottle. This is a local place, so expect to find only a handful of foreigners.

At one point, a guy jumped on the speakers and started to sing along to some hits, which raised the fervor in the room about five notches as the three-member team at the DJ booth worked the sound and lights (see video).

Good times!

Two things to watch for at Rock n’ Roll:

1) The tops worn by the bartenders consist of a flimsy white leopard skin vest that ties at the back and is over a burgundy top that is essentially a polo shirt with a Chinese collar and military style buttons. So bad it’s (almost) good.

2) The food trolley features a smattering of foods - broad beans, steamed peanuts, tofu skin, sliced sausages, chicken feet, French fries - at 5 to 10 kuai per plate. During our two-hour-stay, I didn’t see one person buy anything from it - that should tell you all you need to know.

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Yes

Again, my last visit came in November: The major change is the replacement of the elevator with stairs. The color scheme gives this place the feel of a more local and toned down China Doll, the music is lighter and catchier than at Rock n’ Roll, and the crowd here is prone to being “on the prowl.”

That’s no surprise since this is a well-known pickup bar. Patrons are free to write down their details (age, blood type, whatever) and the details of their ideal match, and post them on the board in the lobby. And of note for music fans out there, this is apparently a popular hangout for off-duty KTV hostesses. Beers are RMB35… or are they RMB40? I seemed to be paying a different amount every round.

Finally, at least on this night, a security troop - basically the same guys who walked around Sanlitun during the Olympics in their black caps and pants, mauve shirts, and white belts - was on hand. They seemed to chastise one guy for playing dice games, while another came to my table, tapped me on the shoulder, and told me to make sure to watch my friend’s bag while he was in the toilet. Thanks buddy, now how about fighting the crime that is known as the 40-kuai Tsingtao?

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See also:
The Go Local Campaign: Rock n’ Roll, Cross Club, Yes Club
Yes, yes, yessssssss! Drinking doubles and seeing singles in Beijing

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After our recent Go North Campaign, The Cellar Rat stuck closer to home and toured local spots. I decided to give an award to each place. (Note: This is part one of two.)

Rock n’ Roll: best use of red light and industrial design to provide a feel that is one part Cold War, one part Blade Runner, one part Logan’s Run and one part Mad Max (or maybe that’s the Budweiser talking)
Sunday night, 9:30 PM, most people are home getting ready for the work week, no? No. One recent Sunday, at least, people were packed into Rock n’ Roll to enjoy a cross-talk performance, dance music and plenty of the “Champagne of beers” - Budweiser.

You get to Rock n’ Roll through an entrance that features a rippled cement wall traversed by water and illuminated with red light. If that doesn’t scare you off, enter the cargo elevator and exit to a dim lobby dominated by concrete, stainless steel, a turnstile, and more red light. (This seems like a perfect set for a movie about foreign bar-goers who head out in search of a night of fun but instead find themselves drugged and harvested of organs, but I digress.) After paying the entrance fee (25 kuai), expect the metal detector treatment if you’re not checking your bag (2 kuai).

Inside, the seating is largely a curving mass of bar stools, tables, and lounge areas facing the dance floor. A warm six-pack of Budweiser and a fruit plate seem common fare, with a bottle of Bud at 25 kuai. The crowd tended to be twenty-something, but included numerous older patrons.

A cross-talk was in full play as we arrived, to the approval of the patrons, and then music began throbbing and the dance floor filled. Given there were but a handful of foreigners amid a few hundred locals, I suggested The Cellar Rat do us proud and bust out his infamous trademark moves, including the White Man’s Overbite, but he declined.

Cross: the most misleading signage on Sanlitun South
The large sign on the façade of Cross features the words “French style” and a photo of an attractive Caucasian woman seated at a table while two men look admiringly at her from a distance. It says one thing to me: massage. Actually, that’s what a sign says below it - “Massage - B1″ so finding a nice wine bar inside was a surprise.

The Cellar Rat described the interior as French colonial, which meant lots of plush chairs, dark woods, elaborate candlesticks, tan and chocolate-colored textiles, and a palm tree that starts on the main floor and rises into an empty space around which wraps a second floor balcony.

The lighting is dim, the staff is efficient, and this night saw numerous couples enjoying a Sunday of wining and dining. The wine list is extensive with plenty of choice, from Grand Cru to less wallet-punishing labels. Whisky starts at 38 kuai, cocktails are in the 50-kuai area.

A female singer and a male pianist performed standard fare, from Teresa Deng to Mariah Carey and The Beatles. The only downside: when the pianist went vocalist and massacred Casablanca. Again, it was a nice surprise to find a place to enjoy some wine and candlelit interaction.

Yes: best use of chemicals for crowd control
Just up the street and around the corner from Beer Mania, Yes also drew a large crowd on this Sunday. This is a standard bar / club: a long oval bar, lots of table seating, a dance floor, and a more exclusive area in back, with plenty of electric blues, candy apple reds, lime greens and ambers for those attracted to lights. The crowd tended to be young and the place apparently doubles as singles hangout (there’s a “partner wanted” board out front).

I’m not keen on the staff uniforms. The pink and white pajama / bowling shirt getups worn by the floor staff are okay, I guess, but having bar staff in sleeveless schoolboy outfits is a bit off (especially if they’re working hard and getting sweaty).

Our exit came shortly after the flair bartending show began. We saw the staff rolling up flammable materials, adding lighter fluid, and sticking them in bottles. Once those wicks were lit, we quickly called it a night before the ensuing cloud of gaseous fumes overtook us…

Note: Check back for part 2 of this pub crawl, in which The Cellar Rat lights himself on fire, throws up on a bar owner’s pet Chihuahua, and decides to have his two competing personalities engage in bilingual cross-talk in order to amuse a nearby table of Slovenian supermodels. (Actually, none of those things happened, but I thought a teaser was in order. However, if anyone knows of Slovenian supermodels that require amusing, please email me at beijingboyce@yahoo.com.)