Beijing Boyce

Open since December in the ex-Browns location, Revelations held its official launch party Wednesday night with live music, tango dancers (meow!), a draw, and free drinks (for those uninterested in subtlety, the “Revelations” cocktail is a heady mix of what I guess to be lychee and passion fruit).

This cavernous spot remains a bit of a mystery to me. It offers what I consider the city’s best lunch deal - example: fresh bread, soup, quiche, both green salad and warm potato and ham salad, and a Lavazza coffee for 40 kuai – yet draws a small crowd. Perhaps, the launch party will provide the exposure needed to get the numbers up.

Urban Sambal had its re-launch party the same night. While not conveniently located (near Phoenix Town), the space is refreshing, with the high vertically and horizontally slanting roof, cement floors and art giving it a gallery air that is nicely moderated by the bar and huge chandelier.

The place bustled as patrons enjoyed free Mojitos, martinis, wine, Qingdao and tapas (excellent curry!), with many hanging out on the deck to enjoy the cool night air. Parties with their fair share of “beautiful people” are no rarity in this town, but this one was uncommon for the number of women who were attractive and fun (I’ll leave up to the ladies to do decide if the male half was up to snuff). More power to Cho for drawing such a crowd.

On Thursday, The Rickshaw held its one-year anniversary bash. People were flank to shank upstairs as a DJ cranked out tunes and the bar handed out free beer, including three kegs of homebrew from sibling bar The Saddle Cantina.

For all my complaints about the service (and that new yellow paint job), The Rickshaw has served me well these past 12 months with cold Stella, medium wings, a strong wireless connection, and the NBA Channel.

UPDATE II: The Rickshaw was able to show the Hornets-Mavs and Suns-Spurs games this morning, so it appears that games listed here as being on either bensports 1 or ESPN are available. That would mean the Detroit Pistons-Philadelphia 76ers (7:30 AM) and LA Lakers-Denver Nuggets (10:30 AM) are available tomorrow. (For audio streaming, go to the “scores” on ESPN and click the “listen” button for each game - you need to sign up for this feature, a process that takes about 90 seconds. Thanks to Chad at The Rickshaw for figuring this out for me.)

UPDATE: It is 8:20, I’m at the Rickshaw, and we have been treated to baseball, motorcycle racing, a dog show, and snippets of the Hornets-Maverick game, but no Raptors-Magic. Not sure if the Suns-Spurs game will be on.

Glenn Phelan is showing the playoffs of that well-known Irish sport – NHL hockey - at Paddy O’Shea’s. He is getting the games via the Internet and says the images are good.

The four conference semifinals hit the ice starting Thursday morning our time. Here’s the slate Glenn sent. (If you plan to go, I suggest shooting an email to glenn@paddyosheas.com to inspire Glenn to get out of bed for a bunch of hockey nuts.)

Game 1
- Thursday, April 24, 7 AM and 10 AM
- Friday, April 25, 7 AM and 10 AM

Game 2
- Saturday, April 26, 7 AM and 10 AM
- Sunday, April 27, 8 AM

Turning to the NBA playoffs, Rickshaw manager Chad Lager and I stayed up until 3 AM Monday morning in the hopes of catching the scheduled Toronto Raptors-Orlando Magic and/or Denver Nuggets-LA Lakers games. No dice. Chad managed to get two games yesterday and fingers are crossed for tomorrow morning’s Raptors-Magic (7:30 AM) and Phoenix Suns-San Antonio Spurs (9:30 AM) games.

A bunch of parties going on this week…

Sambal Urban will hold an “opening cocktail party” on April 23, 8:30-11 PM, with DJ Huang Weiwei, VJ G.org and art by Wei Xingyu. RSVP with Cat or Peter at 5866-8538.

Revelations is apparently having its opening party the same night.

And Kokomo now has Cuban band “Son de Cuba” on Wednesdays - the show starts at 9:30 PM. (Buy one, get one free Cuba Libres before 10 PM.)

The Rickshaw marks its first anniversary on April 24, 4PM-6 AM, with some freebies and lots of “surprises.”

They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch. But you can go hungry even if you have money.

I popped into The Rickshaw yesterday at noon for Taco Tuesdays (three tacos for RMB40 with good portions of sour cream and salsa). I went upstairs and found a construction crew buzzing and pounding near the pool table, so I retreated downstairs, grabbed a chair, and popped open the laptop.

I called the manager to find out what was going on and learned that the place was closed. I missed the sign on the door as did everyone else - more than a dozen people – who showed up during the 20 minutes I sat there. Anyway, The Rickshaw should have its side deck opened and be back to normal hours from 4 PM today

Since tacos were not in my immediate future, I decided to go to nearby Revelations. I phoned ahead to see if the wireless was working - last time, it wasn’t - and was told it “should be.” It wasn’t.

I packed up my laptop again and went to Sugar, in 1949: The Hidden City. The place had wireless and food, seemingly a rare combination on this day. I had chicken Caesar salad (RMB32) and a coffee (RMB25), both of which were good. The wait staff is a bit over-attentive and unable to recognize English words such as “water” and “toilet”, but is friendly enough. What is annoying is getting the bill and finding a 10 percent service charge… at a cafe.

Today, I planned to go to Café St. Laurent for lunch. Luckily, I called ahead because the place is closed while the kitchen and menu are overhauled. CSL will open this weekend. Fortunately, the eggs Benedict will remain on the menu although there will be a few new twists to the recipe.

I headed for The Saddle Cantina, then remembered it is not open for lunch during weekdays, and redirected myself to Luga’s. This place is also under construction. I saw a patron eating a burrito, but didn’t see any employees. I yelled “hello” and went back to the kitchen, where everyone was crouched over the floor intensely discussing something, so I left.

For the third time in two weeks, I ended up at Sequoia Café (Sanlitun branch). The BLT (RMB30) is delicious and comes with soup, and a large American coffee (RMB22). Fortunately, there is no service charge. The only downside: Sequoia is full of hard surfaces and thus loud at times.

At The Rickshaw and just caught the NBA three-point shooting and slam dunk contests - the “birthday cake” dunk, with Gerald Green putting a cupcake with lit candle on the back of the rim, then taking a pass from a teammate, leaping up, blowing out the candle and stuffing the ball was priceless.

Anyway, according to The Rickshaw management, you can catch the NBA All-Star game at 9:20 AM tomorrow (Monday).

Go Bosh!

The Rickshaw is also looking into showing Hockey Night in Canada games on Sunday mornings (they are shown Saturday night in Canada). In early December, Cafe St. Laurent / Alfa advertised this event, but - shades of that NHL-less season a few years back - didn’t come through.

I hope to have more details on these HNIC games in the next week or so.

In the meantime, and as usual, keep your stick on the ice…

After sending flowers to yourself, strategically placing wrapped boxes of chocolate on your desk, and faking several hot phone calls at the office - what to do on Valentine’s Day?

Besides the many hotels and stand-alone restaurants that will be catering to couples, here are a few options for singles looking for a love connection.

Le Petit Gourmand - Chat, read, dance or gaze longingly at the wood-burning stove at the “after dinner party” on the deck; soft drinks / beer: RMB10; wine: RMB20 per glass; Champagne: RMB350 per bottle; from 9:30 PM; contact Axel axel.mx@club-internet.fr.

Salud – Speedating Specialists presents “Bring a buddy you’d never date, take a buddy you’d like to mate”; the RMB50 cover includes a draft beer and discounted drinks; from 9 PM.

Yugong Yishan - “Our favorite DJs mash it up!” shouts the invite; from 9 PM

The Rickshaw – “Hate roses? Hate sappy music? Hate love?”, then check out this anti-Valentine’s Day party and find your cynical counterpart; all day, all night

Beijing Playhouse - Catch Love Letters, a play about, “the staid, dutiful Andrew Makepeace Ladd III and the lively, unstable Melissa Gardner. They sit side by side at tables and read the correspondence of their bittersweet relationship.” For ticket info/reservations, contact performance@beijingplayhouse.com / 13718908922; Block 8; 7:30 PM, February 14-16

Then again, you could splurge on a bottle of sparkling Champagne, hit the gourmet shop for ingredients, whip together a home-cooked meal for your significant other, and give each other the “spatula treatment.”

Let’s get cooking.

Previous: Put Valentine’s in your Pipes and smoke it

Before I give a wrap-up of Super Bowl viewing venues…

The New England Patriots lost the game - as well as the first 19-0 season - and it is easy to place the blame. Most would cite the Patriots failure to stop the New York Giants from scoring a crucial touchdown in the dying minutes. The truth is more nuanced. It is found in Beijing, in a bar called The Goose and Duck, on the body of one man - R.C. Robinson (hereafter known as He Who Shall Be Blamed / HWSBB).

Let me provide you the play by play. The Giants lead 10-7 in the fourth and final quarter. The Patriots piece together a stirring touchdown drive that gives them a 14-10 lead, a drive that inspired HWSBB to yell I believe a half-dozen times, with 2:42 left to play. The Giants need to do what seems near impossible - march the length of the field against the NFL’s best team to score a touchdown and regain the lead.

HWSBB is ecstatic. He wears an off-white cabled sweater - The Sweater - with a large Patriots sticker on the front. He wore it when he arrived, he wore it during the first three quarters, he wore it when the Patriots scored. Now he does the inexplicable. He takes off The Sweater!

Nearby Patriots fans sense a jinx factor. “The Sweater is lucky!” “Hey, don’t change anything until we win!” “Put The Sweater back on.” “If you don’t wear The Sweater and the Patriots lose, I’ll write a post about how it was entirely your fault.” That last one comes from me.

Not only does he not put The Sweater on, but he drapes it over a chair after he peels off the lucky Patriots sticker!

A few minutes later, the Giants quarterback miraculously evades a handful of groping Patriots and hurls a pass to a heavily covered receiver who catches it against his helmet and maintains his grip while falling to the ground in what is known in wrestling circles as a back-breaker. The Giants score, ruin the Patriots perfect season, and it’s all due to HWSBB and The Sweater.* (I don’t expect this will tarnish his sterling community service record of charity fund-raisers, entertainment events, and entrepreneur programs.)

On to the venues:

The Rickshaw - By game time, the place had not an empty seat and offered all the promise of a raucous morning. I stood on the steps, one eye watching the game and the other watching meal after meal whip by. You simply could not comfortably add more people, unless you put some chairs and a TV set on the roof for the die hards. Hey, not a bad idea.

Hooters - The place had no signal and this translated into a lot of disgruntled fans. About 30 people remained into the second quarter, eating breakfast and hoping the game would come on. I have a hunch that Hooters may be the victims of playing by the rules.

Here’s why. Two years ago, I helped organize a Super Bowl party at a hotel for the Seattle-Pittsburgh game. A venue check the night before found everything ready, NFL China donated footballs, mini-helmets, and silver coins as prizes, an ex-Seattle Seahawks cheerleader agreed to give them out, and the breakfast buffet the next morning looked great. We watched the pre-game show and as it approached kick-off time, the channel switched to… swimming. (Backstroke, I believe.) ESPN Star Sports in Singapore listed the game as available in China. It wasn’t and the hotel had no legal means of getting the signal. I’m not sure if this happened with Hooters - I’ll try to find out.

The Den - Just as I went through the threshold, an employee jutted his hand in front of me and at a sign that read, “RMB 50 - breakfast, including coffee and tea.” The Den, which typically offers good service inside, seems to have lost a few steps at the door of late in Ye Olde Hospitality Department.

The Pavillion - About 20 to 25 people gathered in an area adjacent to the bar to watch the game. I grabbed a coffee and watched the rest of the second quarter.

Then, as I have for the past three Super Bowls, I jumped in a cab and headed for the Goose and Duck / that’s Beijing party. This is the first one to be held in Goose and Duck’s new digs and the place is vast to say the least. I would guess more than 300 people had seats with a decent view of that thrilling finish, after which HWSBB finally put on The Sweater.

* On the other hand, he could make a killing on E-bay by selling The Sweater to giddy Giants fan.

With this thing, it’s happy hour forever! ((c) Universal Studios)

Rare be those times when a Beijing birthday boy busts moves to the Back to the Future theme in a bar*, but such was the scene on Saturday night at CJW.

I haven’t been to CJW - Cigar, Jazz, Wine - since last summer, when I parked on its patio, sipped two-for-one martinis, and stared at that massive plasma screen in the sky. (Get out the RUB A535 if you plan to do this for any length of time).

The inner sanctum is impressive for its size and layout, with a bay of tiered seating ascending theater-style. Drinks flowed, drinkers danced, the band - wrapping up their stay at CJW, I am told - rocked the joint, and the boa, uh, constricted. Great party all around and I hope to get back to CJW soon to check out the after-work drinks scene.

Birthday shenanigans continued at Nanjie, with people flank to shank downstairs and packed in like sardines upstairs. In other words, it was typical Nanjie. With a heated argument at a nearby table posing escalation potential and the birthday boy already back to the futon, CP and I headed to The Tree for a wind-down pint and then The Rickshaw for medium wings. A solid Beijing night…

* And Scarface! I wonder how much he had to pay to get the house to play that one!

I have been making the rounds with my laptop in search of spots that offer decent food, drink, and online access. This is part three of my winter wireless wrap-up. (Previously: Le Petit Gourmand; The Stone Boat)

The Rickshaw

The good
- Solid comfort food, including medium wings, burritos, and chicken pot pies
- Cozy stalls, though it is chilly downstairs
- Diverse clientele: I have ended up talking to dozens of people in the food and beverage industry, a guy whose family has a stake in an ice wine facility in China, a guy in charge of wiring all the Olympic stadiums, the GM of a five-star hotel, film makers, journalists, and teachers describing the trials and tribulations of the Chinese classroom, among others
- The NBA package: They have it, so I can watch basketball while I work. With five screens, other sports nuts can also catch their games of choice.
- Fellow laptop warriors: on most afternoons, there are about a half-dozen other people getting online.
- The staff is friendly and generally efficient, though when management is away, service can easily slide down the tube
- The only place in town you can hear Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America” on an almost daily basis

The bad
- Diverse clientele: Along with the interesting patrons, there are some weird people as well as more than a few of the type that loudly want everyone to know the important business deal on which they are working (”I need to crack some skulls to get the equipment in-country, you know how it is dealing with the local ops, man, where would they be without  me, yadda, yadda, yadda.”)
- Too many people consuming liquids + one toilet = bladder strain
- It tends to get smoky

The wireless
- Access is excellent, and given the food, cozy seating, and NBA Channel, not to mention proximity to my apartment, The Rickshaw remains my place of choice for going online.

Next: Sequoia Cafe

When the new Saddle opens in Nali Studios, expect different eats both from the original and from the owners’ current establishment, The Rickshaw.

Last Saturday, I found myself sitting in The Rickshaw near one of those owners, Nick Ma, the man behind the new menu, and he let me in on a taste test of potential menu items, including the seven-layer nachos, vegetarian burritos, a type of burrito topped with loads of melted cheese (we had one stuffed with slow-cooked beef and one with pork), and deep-fried apple-filled wraps with chocolate and whipped cream. We ate several variations of each, thanks to chef Sabrina, and they were tasty indeed. Some fine-tuning is to come, but this gives you an idea of the menu’s direction.

The Saddle will also see a much different drinks lineup:

• Beer made on the premises
• Fifty kinds of margaritas
• Mucho tequila. As reported earlier, Chad Lager says, “I guarantee you that the new Saddle will have the best selection of tequila in all of China.”

That’s a lot going on, given I associate Saddle and The Rickshaw with simplicity — good eats, a limited but sufficient beverage menu, and a homey atmosphere. The strength of Saddle and The Rickshaw were to provide something that local eaters and drinkers actually want, as to opposed to so many establishments who try to bring in some concept from another place and to “raise the bar”, so to speak. It’s the difference between serving the market and trying to create it. Let’s hope the new Saddle keeps on that less well-worn path - the food suggests it is.

More on the place to come…

Yesterday, Chad Lager of the The Rickshaw took me on a tour of the new Saddle location in Nali Studios (more on this later)  and we then went on a walkabout that ended at Scandinavian restaurant and bar The Little Mermaid.

The Little Mermaid offers more than a dozen kinds of Akvavit, Schnapps and bitters, at RMB 15 for 20 centiliters. Dane Torben Vester, who runs the place with wife Celine, gave us a tasting of his homemade concoctions, including walnut Schnapps made with eight-year old walnut essence, another drink infused with 11 herbs, and one that tasted of licorice. He also has a homemade candy-flavored drink called Blaa Ugla, a dill Schnapps, and imported Gammel Dansk and Gammel Dansk Citrus, which he says, “is a bitters, the most well-known one in Denmark.”

Given his background, there is plenty of Carlsberg, and at reasonable prices, too. Draft is RMB 20 for 500 ML and RMB 40 for 1.25 liter, with bottles costing RMB 25.

The Little Mermaid has food, too. Torben says the herring, beef stroganoff, and the dark bread (made in-house) are most popular. Even better, he and Celine are experimenting with cheese, though it is not on the menu. We tried homemade Brie that had a nice gooey-ness, a decent rind and pungent aroma, though it was salty - Torben says this is because it isn’t dulled down with preservative as are many store-bought ones.

To get to The Little Mermaid, go north on Sanlitun, past the main bar strip and turn right at the corner directly across from the 3.3 building. Walk down that street past the first corner and you’ll find The Little Mermaid on your left.

According to an SMS going around town, The Saddle: Luga era - officially reopens this Saturday night with half-price drinks. This comes two weeks after the burrito and beer spot officially closed and just over a week after Luga, known best as the “hey” guy at the Saddle, Cox and The Rickshaw, apparently told the owners that he had grabbed the spot for himself (I went by The Saddle twice this past week to talk to Luga but the place has been closed both times).

This is one of the more intriguing recent stories in the bar scene and it will be interesting to see how things work out…

Expect for the guys behind The Saddle, Cox and The Rickshaw to soon have a new place open.

Halloween in the Beijing Boyce household brings out the swinger in some. Specifically, it is the only time each year that Zimbu - the plush monkey left behind in South Korea ten years ago by my friend Jen who left for Hamburg to get married and asked me to hang on to her collectible Beanie Baby as it is apparently climbing in value by 20 percent annually - gets out on the town. (Jen better figure in some depreciation on this little critter given the amount of beer, lipstick and sweat with which he’s been anointed over the past decade).

Anyhow, safely affixed to my shoulder, Zimbu made his first stop last Friday at the Altruistic Alcoholics bash at The Rickshaw, held to raise funds for migrant children. Manager Chad Lager and owner Kris Ryan dressed as Homer and Marge Simpson - Kris seems surprisingly comfortable in a strapless. The spot overflowed with party-goers who drank enough Halloween spirits that the charity took home over 4,000 kuai.

Kris and Chad: A scary couple…

The next stop for the monkey on the move was Mingle - a scary place given the wait staff / models dressed as sexy nurses, maids and, in one case, Pipi Longstocking (with the emphasis on stockings). By scary, I mean that having a randy monkey, even a plush one, among models brings a certain risk that only a half dozen double banana daiquiris can mitigate. Meanwhile, yours truly indulged in the Halloween cocktail, which sported two red hot peppers attached to the glass as horns. The devil is in the details, as they say. Most of the patrons dressed as Block 8 regulars - oh wait, those weren’t costumes.

Saturday night saw Zimbu riding shotgun on the shoulder again as we headed to Alfa to hang with Special K, whose costume was either that of a prep boy or the best-dressed man in Newfoundland. As rain pounded the roof of the enclosed deck, Zimbu engaged in small talk with various devils, angels, French maids, and whatnot. All in all, quite a tame weekend in comparison to the near-fight that ensued last Halloween at Rui Fu.

Fill this under “painful landings.”

The Saddle, which spun off Cox and The Rickshaw, held a raucous closing party last Friday - the landlord wanted more rent and the economics of the business no longer made sense, went the thinking.

The party marked the final day of the popular Margarita and burrito spot. Or did it?

According to management, ever-popular manager Luga, who split time between Saddle and The Rickshaw, informed them that he negotiated with the landlord on the side and is taking over the spot. Again, according to management, Luga plans to do burritos - he has poached The Saddle cook - and signed a lease for lower rent.

Ouch.

Expect to hear more on this one…

Saddle, the margarita and burrito spot that spun off Cox and The Rickshaw, bid farewell last night with a closing party that saw the bar’s fans turn up in droves. It also attracted the local police, whose interest lay not in enjoying the free Qingdao but in confiscating empty chairs and tables out front - unfortunately, after an initial four, there weren’t any to be had. The police parked their van out front, practically blocking the door, and appeared half-bored and half-annoyed. Which made me think - is dealing with the foreigners who habituate this area some kind of punishment?

Police chief: “Officer Lu, your performance has been substandard. We are transferring you to Sanlitun.”

Officer Lu [falling to the floor and clutching his head]: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

Anyway, numerous regulars and some of the original wait staff were on hand and, at least the short time I was there, had a great time. Look for the owners behind this spot to open elsewhere soon.

My constructive criticisms (some erroneously label them complaints) usually fall on deaf ears, but not so those of the woman who brought me kicking and screaming into the world and made my early years happy ones by including a shot of Johnnie Walker Blue in those baby bottles - just kidding, the Blue was off limits, I had to make due with the Black.

Her visit to our fair city a few months ago included trips to the Forbidden City, Summer Palace, Great Wall and, of course, The Rickshaw. At the latter, she declared the wings tasty but added that a much better experience would be had if only there were wetnaps with which to wipe that Buffalo sauce from one’s fingers. Mom spoke and The Rickshaw - in the true spirit of respecting one’s elders - listened.

The wings now come with wetnaps.

Thanks, Mom.

Expect more than a few people to mosey on down to The Saddle tomorrow as the place rides into the sunset. Skyrocketing rent appears to be the key culprit for this spot begun by Kris Ryan and Nick Ma that became known for its burritos and margaritas. It spun off Cox, which closed a few months back, and The Rickshaw, doing a thriving business.

What is to become of the Saddle? Given trends on the street, namely, the opening of four Pure Girl bars, this strip may soon see a quintuplet of chaste ladies.

Plan A: Sedate Saturday Night quickly became Plan B: Unscheduled Pub Crawl to Later Regret after I hooked up with Special K, Miss P and The Cellar Rat last weekend. I posted live about our stops to Hooters and The Den. Here’s how the rest of the night played out…

Q Bar: Twas bustling, but not uncomfortably crowded, although the music was too loud. To numb myself to it, I ordered an Alfonso Special. This drink’s advantage is its absence on the menu: this means one of the Q’s two bartenders extraordinaire, George and Echo, will get involved, apply their mixology skills and ensure a quality beverage.

Our crew started on the sofas but the arrival of numerous acquaintances required a move to the coveted “bed” section by the bar. The area is elevated, triangular and populated with a table and a dozen pillows. It also necessitates removing your shoes, something that I’m not keen about doing in public save for a few crucial places (a hot tub, for example).

A man is emasculated when revealing his socks. He faces the olfactory risk of sharing space with “bed sitters” who have less than satisfactory pedary hygiene. And in my case, sitting cross-legged or sidesaddle for an hour is as enjoyable as eyeball acupuncture (note to self: cut down on those carbs).

I sat next to a Shanghai-based photographer and we compared drinking holes in our two cites. The general conclusion: Shanghai wins on service and quality, while Beijing is earthier and, I argue, more fun due to a diverse expatriate population. (Case in point, our group included diplomats, journalists, businesspeople and NGO employees.)

Nanjie: Loud and crowded and hot and sweaty downstairs, so we headed for the balcony, which requires climbing through a second-floor window (there’s that Beijing earthiness). The balcony is relatively quiet, with great views of the street action, though I have a tip for management - the coniferous trees out there with razor-sharp needles don’t a fun bar experience make (except in the case of that very limited S&M niche).

By the time I removed a half-dozen barbs from my hand, Special K was talking to a young hyperactive Australian woman. Having established everyone’s nationalities, the woman became increasingly, uh, explicit with her opinions and questions. She informed us that she would only “defile” her body with alcohol and thought smoking to be utterly vile. She asked us in more graphic terms than I’ll share here if we’d had any gay - and I don’t mean happy - experiences. To be fair, she doubled my knowledge or orifice-related sexual terminology. (Again, can you get this in Shanghai? If so, can you get it for free?)

Having forsaken my mental note to go home after Q Bar, and acquiring a headache from trying to grasp the logistics of the acts this woman described, I decided to make my move (as Miss P had smartly done 20 minutes earlier):

“That’s it for me guys,” I said.
“One more drink,” said Special K.
“No, seriously, that’s it. I want to watch baseball tomorrow morning.”

This caused The Cellar Rat to bring out the secret weapon: “Hey, look at that place across the street, with the skull and crossbones above it. It’s new - you can write about it.”

True, a bar called Heat simmered there, although the “crossbones”, as Special K helpfully noted, looked more like four sets of crude male genitalia.

Here is a short review of Heat: We entered, we found a dance floor the size of Nanjie’s and holding a dozen people (most seemingly staggeringly drunk), we found a bar in back with a few patrons and we found a wait staff with an eager “please, just buy ONE drink” glint in their eyes. Before guilt overtook us, Special K and I caught The Cellar Rat mid-order and we hustled out. (Note: this doesn’t mean that Heat will not be popular, it’s just that it wasn’t hot on this night. It wasn’t cooking. It was on the back burner. It was… let’s just go on.)

We headed next door to Caribe, a cavernous club packed with gyrating and mostly fit bodies. We parked on the second floor and watched dancers of all shapes and sizes and nationalities sweat buckets. Occasionally, about two-thirds of them engaged in a kind of mass line dance.

Directly below a 75-year-old man with the foot speed of someone half his age showed his moves and drank Johnnie Walker Red on the rocks.

Ten feet away, a brunette and a blond competed for some guy on the dance floor. The blond grabbed and kissed him so hard I though she might suck out a lung. This caused the brunette to grab his buddy and do the same, in the hope, I guess, of inspiring jealousy. It didn’t happen, so the brunette interrupted the Hoover-like vacuum betwixt the couple under the pretext that they should all dance together.

This scene made me feel dirty all over. Or maybe it was because I hadn’t been home since 10 AM that morning, having gone seamlessly from working to partying.

“That’s it for me, guys,” I said.
“One more drink,” said Special K.

The man is evil, but they say you can do a deal with the devil (or is it vice versa?). So we made a compromise: we would go to Rickshaw, not to drink, but to eat and rehydrate.

With the England-France rugby game on, fans were flank to shank in the place, so we braved the cool and sat outside on the balcony. Special K mocked me for ordering apple juice or at least I think he did: it sounded something like “youse guys arnt reee-yall men. I’m ordrin’ beee-yeer.” A few minutes later came poetic justice - he began tearing up because the wings were “too hot”. And those were the medium ones…

Ah, a Beijing Saturday night…

After a lull in The Land Down Under, wine guru Sir Campbell Thompson is back in Beijing for good. I met him on Saturday night for a lengthy tour of the local sights. Some random observations:

Block 8: The third-floor bar - I-Ultra Lounge - reminds me of a super-sized Centro. We headed to the rooftop bar, The Beach, where lounge areas surrounded by sand sit amid a network of elevated walkways. You’ll fork out 2000 kuai for one such spot and up to 5000 kuai for premium spaces. The only free seating - or free standing, given there were no chairs - was at a large round bar in the far corner. The place seemed somewhat soulless - maybe it was the too-slick design, lack of greenery, the nasty night pollution or the fact we were the only patrons - so to be fair another visit is in order, especially since several readers have praised this place, although usually in relation to the eye candy they say patronizes it.

In any case, given the beach theme, you might expect Margaritas and Pina Coladas on the menu. They aren’t. 42 Below vodka and Tanqueray gin are, but were out of stock, so we settled for Bombay Sapphire GTs at 55 kuai. I suppose the price was worth it given the spectacle of a bartender twisting the base of a tonic can into his hand, thus forming a vacuum and allowing him to pour the mixer without using his fingers (try it at home, it’s surprisingly easy). By the way, best to book a table at The Beach - as we left the staff told us that every spot had been reserved for the night.

Suzie Wong: The third-floor area has been redecorated since my last visit and reaching the deck now requires a trip through the back end of the dance floor, but other than that, it was the same old Suzie. We parked on the deck and enjoyed bottled Stella as the place steadily filled with a most diverse crowd - a woman anxiously sitting alone (let’s hope the guy showed up), several groups of local friends, a man out cold on a bench, the usual gaggle of older expat male-younger Chinese female couples, and so on. I’ve never been a big fan of Suzie Wong in general, but I’ve always liked the deck - earthy, nicely lit and seeming as though it’s cut off from the city.

Q Bar: This night saw a light crowd, and while the music is too loud inside, the place does have its compensations - the Q Bar team is well-trained and the drinks are good. Sir C had a Lychee Margarita and engaged co-owner Echo in a discussion as to whether there should be salt (as he likes) or sugar (as many customers prefer) on the rim. I had a Horse Neck, a pleasant drink with Bourbon, ginger ale, and a long curl of lemon peel. Just before we left, a guy walked up and ordered ten Jagermeister shots. Sir C sternly described this as a blasphemous request in such a cocktail heaven and nearly beat him to death with a mint masher (just kidding). By the way, Q Bar’s collection of single malts continues to grow.

The Rickshaw: A rugby had just ended and the place was packed with Aussies and Kiwis - Sir C, being a member of the former tribe, knew half the people there. It was Stella yet again.

China Doll: The second floor seethed with dancers. We struggled to the bar and decided on hydration - the fruity Ai Wan Jamaica. The patrons to our left were most happy and eclectic - one wore a suit, thick dark-rimmed glasses and a foamy farmer’s hat, another had a sleeveless T-shirt and Scott Baio aura, and so on. Celebration was in the air and we speculated about a newly signed joint venture, hopefully one that will produce some kind of vacuum to suck coal particles from the air in summer andGobi sand in the winter - the latter can be used to replenish The Beach. People-watching at its finest…

Cheers: This place was also hopping, to live music. Even better, Sir C - who used to play in a band - knew one of the musicians, a guy from Madagascar. I’m not sure what they talked about it, but perhaps it concerned their two countries containing at least half of the world’s weirdest creatures.

Maggies: This place was even more packed than China Doll, with men far outnumbering the women - the horror! My advice to these guys: why not just go to China Doll to meet the opposite sex? We parked outside and watched people pass while Sir C enjoyed one of Maggies most excellent hotdogs. By the way, you know a guy is drunk beyond redemption if he squints at me to see if I might be a potential “short-term” female companion. Realizing that being packed like sardines in a can with hundreds of other guys wasn’t our thing, we decided against going inside and instead bid farewell and called a close to a busy but fun night…

I love my K-Touch B922 phone - for one thing, the battery lasts a week - but if you’re planning to buy one make sure to lock it before putting it back pocket or you might (as I did last night) accidentally call a dozen people (apologies to all). I guess that underscored that my Taipei buddy E-Salt and I were on the move. Unlike the last time she came to town, and we ended up closing Maggies, we got a late start due to work and had a much lighter itinerary - three bars, three beers. A few notes:

Face: This is nook and cranny central, with a patio, bars and lots of lounge areas. Given the earthy yet upscale decor and the subdued lighting, I always expect to find a monk or two sipping tea or at least a nice Sauvignon Blanc. “This place is obviously trying to be trendy,” said E-Salt. “It has a nice garden but the way it’s lighted it looks like Christmas in summer.”

We stayed inside, where our fellow bar patrons included older feather-haired white men with much younger Chinese women, giving the place a Secretary’s Day feel. E-Salt opined that many of the remaining males would be more interested in hitting on me than her. The drinks are expensive - Hoegaarden draft is 60 kuai, Champagne cocktails are 115 kuai (and that’s for Moet) - but that’s the price you pay for décor, space, service and to keep Face in candles.

Nanjie: The opening party was crazy, but on this night attendance was light, the balcony being the exception. We grabbed a table outside and stuck to draft Hoegaarden - 30 kuai. Given the lack of residential space and the growing number of bars and restaurants in this area, the city would do well to cordon off the street out front from traffic, cobblestone it and create a pedestrian-friendly zone. E-Salt and I didn’t actually talk about that - we were too mesmerized by the cartoon hippo painted on the soon-to-open hip hop club across the street.

The Rickshaw: A good crowd upstairs as DJ Kris P. Cream controlled the tunes. No Hoegaarden, so we procured Stella for 35 kuai per pint and tagged on cheese sticks and an order of potato chips drenched in blue cheese. It’s hard to justify healthy eating when Beijing’s air pollution index is rapidly rising from 200 parts per million to, uh, 1,000,000 parts per million. I’m thinking we’ll make it in two years, so why not chain-smoke, eat artery-clogging food and generally live fast now, since the air will get us before lifestyle-related diseases do. Or maybe that’s just the Stella talking…

Anyway, despite the incredible free entertainment - a bunch of drunks were behind me, continually banging into my chair and providing memorable material, especially one young woman who kept (sincerely) saying, “I can be a penguin for you” (what does that mean!?) - we finished our beers and headed off into the murky night…