Beijing Boyce

BEIJING BOYCE XXIV

• Opening Shots: Zing by Doodoo, Bookworm, Browns, Q Bar, Phil’s, Raj, and Stone Boat
• We Got Email: John Bull Pub, Maggie’s, and No One Likes to Read
• Flippant Festival Footnotes
• First Impressions: Face and A-Che
• Happen Stuff: Cafe Pause, Champagne, Zeta and Tree
• Closing Shots: City Weekend and Tian Yue.

OPENING SHOTS
These are the nights to enjoy a drink on a rooftop, deck or patio, and my favorite spots remain Pavillion and Stone Boat Cafe, with other good options being Drum and Bell, Frank’s Place and Q Bar. Remember, our lungs filter pollution from this city’s air and a strong collective outside drinking effort might allow us to spot a star or two some evening. (Note: Pavillion offers the added flashback value of hearing Wham!, Huey Lewis, The Vapors and Jackson Browne within an hour.) / John Bull Pub, run by legendary bar proprietor Frank Siegel, is saying toodleloo London and hello Houston as it transforms into a Texas BBQ joint (see “We Got Email”). / Zing by Doodoo, an esteemed member of the Bad Bar Name Hall of Fame, is also changing identities and will reemerge as Thai restaurant Serve the People, which is hardly a better name given that it evokes cannibalism. / 49 kuai for a pint of Carlsberg at Face. Ouch! / The Bookworm celebrated its one-year anniversary yesterday. With tasty food, interesting lectures, live music, plenty of books for sale or loan, and an extensive beverage menu, this place has been a runaway success. Not surprisingly, its incredible popularity can make it tough for wireless seekers to get a seat, and that can mean occasional forays to Le Petit Gourmand or SPR Coffee. / Browns now serves “jungle juice” during Wednesday ladies’ nights, which means people may soon be swinging from the rafters as well as dancing on the bar. Speaking of Browns, the foam party two weekends ago saw bubbles upon bubbles for most of the night, but they had burst by Sunday brunch. The place was virtually empty, yet it took over 20 minutes to get a simple breakfast and the COFFEE MACHINE WAS BROKEN! “If this had been my first visit to Browns, I would never go back,” said a downright bitter and caffeine-withdrawn M-Dawg. / Nearby, The Loft has renamed itself Hot Loft. I have no punch line to do justice to this marketing brilliance. / Reader K.S. aka Killer Schoolmarm has spoken to the owner of recently chai’d The Big Easy and says the Louisiana-style hotspot will again grace our city, retaining the spirit of its original interior, but with a new outside look (more to come on this). / M-Dawg and I visited Q Bar two Saturdays ago and waited not only 15 minutes to order, but also 30 minutes in vain for our drinks. With parched throats, we went to Phil’s Pub and soon had Gin Tonics at one-third the cost. It seems to me that Q Bar is best when providing quality cocktails in a tranquil environment, which suggests a need to focus on speeding up drink delivery rather than on, say, hiring a DJ to play house music. Translation: I want my dry martini and John Lee Hooker! Fortunately, the drinks were coming fast and slightly furious during a visit earlier this week. / Speaking of which, Trevor and Kenn from Alternate Paradigm will slip into aprons and host an end-of-summer BBQ on Q Bar’s rooftop (September 23, 2 PM-late). Twenty-five kuai gets you a cheeseburger, two hot dogs, grilled veggies or six wings, all of which come with a baked potato. / Skipping back to Phil’s, I visited several times recently and rediscovered the joys of cheap but decent cocktails, 30-kuai Erdinger, and a friendly neighborhood pub atmosphere. Moreover, after a long stint in Qingdao, owner Phil is back and teamed up with Sally. My only recommendation for this place: vaporize the PlayStation console, or at least anyone using it. / The new branch of Raj held a party last Saturday night with the expected buffet of Indian food and traditional dancing. The rooftop is ideal for enjoying a few brew (from 15 kuai for Qingdao to 25 kuai for Kingfisher) or some wine (though those puny glasses have to go), before heading to nearby Bed or Drum and Bell. / The Stone Boat has upgraded its wine and cocktail menu over the past year and credit goes to Amy and Jonathan. The Martini and Mojito are better, though the latter is still light on alcohol, and it is nice to enjoy wine in a proper glass in such a relaxing spot.

WE GOT EMAIL
Email: “Your beer gut must be even bigger than mine the amount of guzzling you must do in the interests of research. You should know that a hoary old favourite, John Bull Pub, will soon change its name and its style to Tim’s Texas Barbecue. [Owner] Frank [Siegel] is going to concentrate on his two (maybe more soon) Sequoia coffee houses. Sad, but inevitable.” - M.T.

BB: Frank, who opened Beijing’s first non-hotel bar 16 years ago, told me the new BBQ joint is slated for late October and that he’s been getting his smoker ready, so to speak. John Bull Pub holdovers will include the trivia contest on Tuesdays and the Mexican food cart on Fridays and Saturdays. The second Sequoia is open on Sanlitun North.

By the way M.T., “beer gut” is such a crude word for a distinguished part of our bodies that is years in the making. Why not something more dignified, such as, “the round mound where brew doth abound”, “tribute to barley-based beverages,” or, as M-Dawg suggests, “Belgian bulge”?

Email: “I wonder how I get on these email lists. Who are you? Want a suggestion? I read computer screens all day and there is NO WAY I want to read all this text, even if it has things in bold a la that’s Beijing style. Find a more effective way to communicate. No one likes to read. It’s a fact.” - C.N.

BB: Yo, C.N., my inbox shows that you subscribed to this newsletter. In other words, you pretty much begged like a randy font monkey for 3,000 words worth of Courier New biweekly. Could there be a link between your forgetfulness and aversion to reading? Just asking…

I realize this newsletter’s all-text look is very mid-1990s BBS but, a) I haven’t had many complaints about it, b) I don’t have time to add pictures or smiley faces, and c) those were fun years, when the Internet was more a novelty and less another way to keep us connected to work 24/7. And the rock band Veruca Salt was still together. Furthermore, some people can handle a long newsletter, as this next, uh, *eccentric* email shows, picking up on my comments last issue about Sanlitun lady bar touts and substance sellers:

Email: It is currently 6:45 AM, Sunday morning… I got up around 5 AM due to being a bit parched, so I headed over to my kitchen for a cold drink. Oddly enough, I was asked if I wanted a lady bar a few times on the way there, and on my way back to my warm comfortable slumber I was accompanied by a young African man who wanted to discuss politics before the inevitable, ‘Want some stuff, man?’ I ditched him and turned down the first alley, which leads to my second bedroom/office. I figured: let me check my email. I am anxiously awaiting some important docs from the home office and couldn’t wait until a reasonable hour. I sealed my fate by hitting the send/receive button. There it was in plain sight, harmless in nature, yet powerful in its ability to lure me in for a closer look, YOUR EMAIL! … I read the whole thing and now my eyes are burning… I will attempt the impossible, the ole return to bed after getting a drink at 5 AM, then reading a 3,000-word email.” - J.C.

BB: See, C.N., some people do read. They might imagine lady bar touts and drug dealers loitering in their apartments, but they do read. By the way, like zebra mussels slowly spreading throughout a lake and disrupting otherwise decent habitat, the lady bar touts have now crept onto Sanlitun South and spread their annoyingness as far down as Gongti South. Six people accosted me as I walked from Pink Loft to Beer Mania at 7:30 PM. Can nothing stop them?

Email: “Maggie’s had better get back to 20 yuan on a bottle of beer or I am boycotting! Please note my displeasure if possible in your next column. We all have to do our bit to fight inflation and a 50 percent price increase is unreasonable in these hard times.” - E.O.

BB: Jacking up bottled beer prices by 10 kuai is annoying, but the bigger problem for Maggie’s is its declining relevance. On occasion, having a few Qingdao, listening to a song spectrum that spans My Humps to Paradise City, watching foreign man/Mongolian woman joint ventures unfold, and gorging on a hot dog out front might be fun, but the new Maggie’s is more sterile and, at least for me, there are simply too many other good nightlife options now.

FLIPPANT FESTIVAL FOOTNOTES
I went to the Beijing Pop Festival in Chaoyang Park two weeks ago and happily found proletarian beer prices: 4 yuan for a can of Blue Diamond. As for the bands, CJ was OK, Supergrass was Supergood, and Sebastian Bach should not wear a bright yellow Mandarin robe as it makes him look like an over-rouged blond-maned tranny with a cultural identity crisis. Other observations: I bought my official ticket not from a booth, not from a table, but from a silver gray Elantra. The security included PLA-looking guards, bao-an in poorly fitting uniforms, and secret service guys in dark suits, and I wondered what they thought about Bach swearing, screaming, prancing about stage and throwing microphone stands into the wings. The fans drank responsibly and behaved, with the most blatant sign of alcohol being the very relaxed guy with a pup tent and a small table holding four glasses of tequila. The music is rock, not pop, and anyway, if the promoters want to get out the locals, why not splash out for some act that was popular in the eighties band and has plenty of KTV standards, such as Whitney Houston or Air Supply?  Pizza by the slice should be a given at these things. Discovery of the day: that my friend’s wife used to play in a Japanese band that did Skid Row covers!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS
FACE: The Beijing branch of Face opened a month ago and complements its brethren in Shanghai, Jakarta and Bangkok. Just south of Workers’ Stadium in a refurbished school, this is a pleasant if pricey place to while away a few hours. Decorated with art and antiquities from Asia, it will take time for Face to acquire the necessary scuffs for the worn-in look, and friends who frequent the Shanghai branch find this one far less architecturally impressive. Seating options include a long narrow dimly lit deck outside and plenty of nooks and crannies inside. A pool table and bar break up what might otherwise come off as an overly stuffy environment. On a Saturday night, tolerably loud house music played as the wait staff efficiently made drinks for a fairly well dressed and generally older crowd. An ice-filled stainless steel beer held the beer and Mojito ingredients were ready to go should an order come in. M-Dawg gave a thumbs-up to the cocktails, though my dry martini came without the twist I requested, and a martini on an earlier visit was sub-par. They are expensive at 60-70 kuai, not including an annoying 10 percent service charge, and a pint of Carlsberg comes in at 49 kuai. Overall, Face offers decent drinks, ambience and service (though teetering toward overly keen at times), but at these prices, this place is likely to be an irregular stop.

A-CHE: The neon Che Guevara profile at the door suggests something revolutionary inside, but this place delivers the same mediocrity found elsewhere in Beijing. The place itself gives a good first impression, striking one as cozy and warm, as the sort of spot that could become your local pub with its standup bar, table seating and big screen. Unfortunately, some problems on the service side need to be overthrown. On my first visit, the staff seemed bothered that we even ordered food. Then again, perhaps it was a subtle warning, given that the tapas included a firm white substance that defined blandness and was apparently cheese. On my second visit, the Parma ham salad came with incredibly fatty meat, off-the-shelf olives, canned tuna, under-ripe tomatoes, and a 55-kuai price tag that would have been fairer with the first “5” removed. The food, thus, needs some work. The drinks, however, are definitely worth a try. There are plenty of Cuban specialties and the efficient bartender whipped up a refreshing golden Mojito (Y35), made with orange juice and mint. Unfortunately, his helper stood nearby eating peanuts (mouth wide open), staring blankly at customers and seemingly unaware of the art of removing empty glasses. Then, oddly, A-Che offered me a VIP card. What would that get me? Another green tomato slice? The chance to toss whole lemons into the bar helper’s gaping keghole? It seems to me that this place should first learn to handle non-important people. Anyway, despite all these criticisms, I have hope for A-Che. Some staff training and a rethink of the menu would go a long way to turning that hope into reality. In the meantime, this place is still worth a visit to try some cocktails.

HAPPEN STUFF
Cafe Pause will feature German music and Jagermeister cocktails on September 23 (8 PM on), and co-owner Stefan Fleischer is offering a free shooter to anyone wearing Leiderhosen. / Crowne Plaza Hotel’s Champagne Bar has “bubbles for babes” every Thursday from 9 PM, with free Van Gogh vodka cocktails and Champagne cocktails for women. / Zeta Bar starts with “z,” which apparently requires the Hilton Hotel’s zany marketers to zealously use this zippy letter a zillion times (yes, I can do it, too). Thus, the bar has half off martinis on Mondaze, two-for-one Zeta-themed cocktails on Tuesdays, and 50 percent off Whizky on Wednesdays, all before 9 PM. There’s Champagne and Zequins (sequins? sea queens? segues?) on Thursday, with two-for-one Moet Chandon for ladies from 6 PM to midnight, and half off select bottles from 9 PM to midnight on Pingzi Fridays. By the way, if you have not checked out Zeta, the decor alone is worth the trip. / The wine will flow free courtesy of Summergate at that’s Beijing’s five-year anniversary and starving artists’ party at C5 Gallery (2-6 PM), between Peter Pan and Serve the People in Sanlitun. The event will include performances by Panjir Trio and Ah-Q, with the latter about to release its first CD. / Jebsen will hold a tasting of six Rosemount wines on September 23 at Stone Boat (7-9 PM, 100 kuai). Ethan Perk, formerly with Montrose, has joined Jebsen as deputy general manager. / YPHH and The Tree will hold a Belgian beer night on September 26 on the Youyi Hostel terrace (6:30-11 PM; 100 kuai YPHH members, 150 kuai non-members). / China World Hotel and Torres team up on September 28 for a five-course gourmet dinner, by Aria Chef de Cuisine Nicholas Blaira, paired with Peter Lehmann wines (888 kuai). / ASC Fine Wines has a full slate of wine tasting events, including a Penfolds dinner at Garden of Delights (October 13), a Skalli dinner at Aria (October 18) and a Bollinger dinner at Jaan, Raffles (October 24; 988 kuai). / Montrose sent me emails about a Herradura tequila launch party at China Lounge and a wine club event on September 21, but I was unable to access the company’s Web site (www.montrosechina.com).

CLOSING SHOTS
City Weekend has published a Restaurant & Bar Guide that not only is good, but also is free! I have long griped about City Weekend, including to the managing editor, who is no doubt tired of my free “constructive” criticism whenever I run into him in the local bars. Happily, the guide and the magazine’s recent design upgrade deserve praise as a major step in the right direction, though the content still needs a boost, something I am told is forthcoming. The guide itself includes useful lists such as “Where you drink if you are a sport fanatic” (Goose and Duck, Pavillion, Bar Blu) and “Over 30… but not over the hill” (Browns, Q Bar, Suzie Wong, East Shore Live Jazz), as well as nightlife itineraries for couples and singles. / I am again delaying my review of the Wine and Spirits Education Trust class I attended late last month, mainly because I’m too swamped to transcribe my notes, but I do hope to have it and the long overdue review of Bed next issue. / Last year, that’s Beijing organized a Christmas funk party to raise money for a heart operation for an orphan named Tian Yue. Unfortunately, the Scrooge-like venue undermined the magazine’s Santa-like intentions, and the call went out for donations. Several newsletter readers helped out, including Agent Hidden Dragon and K-Ro, and will be happy to know that I attended Tian Yue’s birthday party last week and found her healthy, happy and, since she was recently adopted, about to move to the U.S. and start a new life. / Whether you are hanging out in Beijing or heading out of the city, have a safe and happy holiday. Eat, Drink and Be Merry. Cheers, BB.

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• Opening Shots, with Saddle, Pavillion, Q Bar
• We Got Mail, with Rui Fu, W Sports Bar, Red Ball Bar, The Big Easy
• From Sing Sing to Beijing: Bar Hopping with Guests
• Closing Shots

OPENING SHOTS

The lady bar touts and substance pushers seemed sparser on Sanlitun North the past few weeks. A recent stroll down the main drag attracted only six “sexy girl” solicitations, in contrast to the usual dozen, and not one “Hey man, want some stuff?” was muttered as I walked the side streets to Apertivo. Where hath the intrepid intruders gone? Perhaps they took advantage of the new Beijing- Tibet express and are on summer leave. Or maybe they were turfed by the notorious security guards at nearby Tongli Studio (true, no bodies have been found, but a telling sign would be if the area’s kebabs suddenly tasted gamey). Whatever the reason, any break from these — let’s be generous — carbon-based life forms is as refreshing as when strong winds occasionally dilute Beijing’s air pollution. Unfortunately, it’s usually just as short-lived. / Speaking of Apertivo, I’ve been there twice this month. The service is reasonable, it’s a nice place to chat with friends on a pleasant summer evening, and things would be even better with an upgraded by-the-glass wine selection. / Across the street, Saddle offers a minimalist menu of burritos, Spanish fried rice, salsa and chips, and fajitas as well as Pepe Lopez, Camino, Jose Cuervo, Olmeca and Conquistador tequilas. These brands cover the less-than-100-percent agave end of the tequila spectrum and some premium varieties would surely be welcomed. Saddle also has something called “Brett funnel” on Fridays, which involves chugging a beer via a tube for 10 kuai, and is not for the faint of stomach. / The Pavillion has a two-for-one happy hour, 5 to 8 P M, that covers house wines, cocktails, soft drinks, and beer, excluding Guinness and Kilkenny. In addition to an excellent patio, The Pavillion also has: 1) proper wine glasses; 2) one of Beijing’s more impressive Whisky selection s; and 3) a slight identity crisis, since upon arrival patrons may come across anything from an alcohol-free graduation party to a beer-fueled rugby-mad crowd, with things thankfully tending toward the middle. / Maggie’s has upped its bottled Qingdao to 30 kuai from 20 kuai. Otherwise, it’s the same old, same old, which means hot dogs out front, reliable music inside, and an ambience that doesn’t live up to the former locale on Gongti East. / Shunyi-based sports bar The Pomegranate had a high-tech summer as it added a video projector, 42-inch flat screen, and wireless Internet access. My suburban friends tell me this is a good spot to sip a few beers, eat some pub grub, and catch a game. / DJ David Lindinger will spin all-plastic sets of “nujazz, groove and house music” at Q Bar on Fridays during September. This is a bit surprising since some owners were once strongly opposed to a DJ and since patrons seem to love the current ambience, which includes blues and jazz tunes. Q Bar seems to be drifting from the cocktail-first culture of First Cafe and Midnight, where two of the owners cut their teeth, and this will no doubt worry some long-loyal customers, including yours truly. I mean, this is like the city-specific that’s Beijing putting a huge brochure-like picture of Thailand on its cover (oh wait, it just did that, or do I have a copy of that’s Bangkok in my hand?). Or like me adding a dozen book reviews to my bar newsletter (oh wait again…). / Speaking of which, rumblings abound that Keiko Shirata, who owned First Cafe until it was chai’d about a month ago, is planning to open a new spot in Beijing. / Each of my four visits to Rui Fu has found this lounge/club increasingly busy and fun. My initial reservations have been cancelled by its spirited groove, interesting clientele and decent music (though a bit loud last time). The cocktails are a problem. A s oft mentioned elsewhere, Rui Fu is a place to see and be seen, with last Friday featuring a marathon of seeing and being seen that left my ocular nerves exhausted and thus, having saw and been sawn, I resolved to wear an eye patch next time and thus maximize seeage and being seenage while minimizing strain (that is, when I return from my vacation at a coastal apiary — “a sea and bee scene.) Putting preening aside, Rui Fu’ s menu includes numerous pricing oddities such as Johnnie Walker Red and Johnnie Walker Black both at Y35, suggesting the latter will increase in price with the club’s popularity. Let’s wait and see (and be seen). / Capone’s plans to open a restaurant in Beijing. T he general manager says his aim is to have “one of the biggest if not the biggest wine selection s in Beijing.” / Also coming to the Jing: Hong Kong’s Park 97 and Middle-class America’s Hooters. / Finally, there are lots of choices out there for tonight, Friday, September 1. Frank’s Place will hold an end-of-summer p arty with all-you-can-drink Freixenet sparkling wine (7PM, 100 kuai) and its weekly pool tournament (8 PM, 50 kuai per person, winner takes all). Summergate will have a tasting of South Australia’s Kingston wines at Face Bar (7-10 PM, 100 kuai). Stone Boat has Muwen playing (9:30 PM), Q Bar sees its inaugural DJ night, and Rui Fu apparently has DJ Edmund, a friend of a friend from Taipei, spinning tunes.

I thought I’d beat someone to the punch on that one. Rui Fu does, in fact, have one room. In my own defense, I’m easily distracted, the mirror on the far side is *really* shiny, and it does look like a passageway. Here’s the worst part: Around 10 PM one night, I was writing a review of Rui Fu based on a single one-hour visit and felt that was unfair, so I decided to delay the newsletter, threw on some decent clothes, headed over there, ended up taking to owner Henry Li for an hour, got a better feel for the club, and then came back and ADDED the part about two rooms. Yes, in this case, more research resulted in greater inaccuracy. Go figure.

“W Sports Bar does not have a pool table.” - W. Thomas

I was wrong (again). Last issue, I wrote that W has a table hockey game buried amid enough stuff to make for a most excellent yard sale, including, “[a] ping pong table, dartboard, big-screen TV, pool table, art, grand piano, foosball table, etc.”

My bad: mae yo pool table.

Nevertheless, I won’t retract the ensuing comment: “Is there anywhere else in town where you might simultaneously hear “Who’s serve?,” “Bull’s eye!,” “I’ll have two beers, please,” “Eight ball, corner pocket,” and “This is simply too Dadaist for my taste,” all while someone chops out Mozart and a Formula 1 race shows?”

Even without a table, that “eight ball” comment could still easily be heard from a confused ping pong player, coverage of the world pool championships on the big screen, o r… actually, forget it, there’s no way I’m going to make a cheap baggy pants joke.

“You’ve listed Club Football as one of our editor’s picks - NO! It’s the unique RED BALL BAR - can you issue a correction?” - H. La

I was wrong again (again). (People should be used to this by now, but no, in flood the emails.) This time, an eagle-eyed staffer from that’s Beijing (TBJ) pointed out that I listed Club Football, rather than Red Ball Bar, as an honorable mention as bar of the year.

(”I lo ve the Ball because it’s so unique and different. There’s a smashing atmosphere, the staff are so friendly and helpful, it’s superb value [where else can you get a bottle/carton of decent wine for RMB 50?] and it’s so different from any other bar I’ve been to,” he/she enthused.)

Fair enough. Correction issued. To err is human, they say, as TBJ itself showed by not giving a single editor’s pick to Browns, even though that place won the popular vote, is frequented by other bar owners and employees… well, you know the story (and yes, that was a cheap shot).

Aside 1:Most of my British friends hate Browns. They disdainfully describe it as typical of this or that horrible bar in London, Muckchester, Corking ham or wherever they call home. Message received — about a million times so far. And I’m sure the Beijing natives living in the Isles aren’t overly fond of the Chinese restaurants there. Such is life. The thing is, we’re not in Britain, nor do most of us hail from there, and Browns is what it is — a place for good, clean fun. Where else will you find seven young guys raucously celebrating a birthday while nearby two couples in their seventies happily boogie to eighties tunes? Not cool, you say? Well, some people dislike pretentiousness or simply aren’t trendy, thus we need Browns, the great melting pot of bars in this city. So, for the love of Buddha, and Ben Elton, please stop the hating! Pretty please? Pretty please with Boddington foam and frozen blood pudding shavings on top?

Aside 2: T he mainstream media must be disheartened when amateurs such as yours truly turn on their powers of perception and score a major news scoop. Take my expose on the White Man Overbite dancing epidemic at several Sanlitun hot spots a while back. The C hina Daily, Wall Street Journal and their kin completely missed that one. Then there’s my most recent scoop: uncovering a direct link between eyeglass-wearing styles and bar success. The evidence accumulated during my lengthy investigation would fill multiple volumes, but let me present two pieces. First, a recent TBJ story about its bar awards ceremony shows not one, not two, but three victorious owners wearing eyeglasses atop their heads, as though the y had visually challenged hair follicles that were looking at the ceiling and possibly to a vote-producing deity beyond. Second, numerous other winning owners not pictured in the story were spotted at the ceremony wearing glasses in a similar manner. The link is obvious, but what of its significance? While it is difficult to quantify the positive effects of, for example, a pair of Ray-Ban bifocal sunglasses on revenue, my guess is 22.7 percent, give or take 0.3 percent. (Rose-colored lenses and those for nearsightedness would obviously have less im pact.) Contrast this to bar owners who wear baseball hats backwards: I estimate that such low-brows typically see their businesses go bankrupt in a matter of weeks and also stand a fifty-fifty chance of spontaneously combusting. The lesson is simple: bar success is yours if you keep your glasses pointing upward and keep your ball caps pointing forward, and ideally do both (glasses over caps, of course). And remember, you heard it here first.

“It is tres terrible to hear about th e Big Easy. It easily had some of the best jazz and singers since my days on Bourbon Street before heading for Vietnam in ‘67. Are they going to open somewhere else?   - J.W.

That’s a really good question and I don’t have a clue as t o the answer. Maybe The Big Easy will relocate beside the new Latinos! Anyone out there have some inside information?

FROM SINGSING TO BEIJING: WHERE SHOULD I TAKE MY GUESTS ?
People frequently ask me to recommend bars for their visitors to Beijing. Whether it is an incoming friend, client, parent, fellow Scientologist, long lost uncle, mail order bride or paroled pen pal in question, I would dearly love to answer such requests by spouting out a perfect itinerary. (Actually, paroled pen pals are easy: take them to The Bookworm, since its fully-loaded shelves will appeal to their literary side and the clusters of MBA students can help an ex-con who is long on ideas but in short supply of professionally written business plan s. Class project!)

But I have a hard time figuring out where to take my own guests, let alone those of other people. I generally skim through bar listings, ask co-workers, call my friends, throw oracle bones and endure cold sweats as I create a decent plan. That plan, once in action, invariably runs into the great wall of harsh reality, built from the bricks of snap decisions and the mortar of compromise. A n experience some time ago reminded me of this wall and re-taught me some basic principles for getting over it.

The situation: A group of six middle-aged business types visit Beijing. I know two very well, two fairly well, and two not at all. The mission: take them out for dinner and drinks on two consecutive nights.

Night one: I take the two I know very well and one of the strangers to dinner at Xihe Yaju. Beijing duck is a safe bet that becomes a guaranteed winner when you have beautiful weather, a table out back and an excellent bottle of wine — as we did. Next stop: The Pavillion. Two more people joined us, and we shared another bottle of wine while enjoying the spacious patio and the serenity amid the trees. Nice. Most of the group then headed to the hotel, while two survivors and I hit one last spot, Suzie Wong (thanks to Agent Red Wolf for the idea). With its interesting decor, cozy deck and top-notch people-watching opportunities, this is a good stop for almost any visitor to Beijing, even on a slow Sunday night. The end result was a night that included some classic Beijing food, a cozy patio, and a landmark bar.

Night two: I began this one as a guest, rather than a host, as we had some Xinjiang food and then took a stroll down Sanlitun North on our way for a drink at Apertivo. Our host then headed home and the onus for picking the next spot fell on me. Our group included four people: two that I knew well, considered my main guests, and thought would best like a good drink; and two that I didn’t know well and who were a bit restless. My gut feeling was to take the first pair to a reliable spot such as Browns or Q Bar, but the second pair seemed lukewarm with that, so we instead headed to another spot that turns up in guidebooks, Maggie’s. As it turns out, Maggie’s was sparsely populated, the music didn’t match our mood, it wasn’t really this group’s style, and the evening was as anticlimactic as it gets. And it happened because I ignored a few simple rules from the “common sense” category.

1. Take control. Choose the itinerary or surrender responsibility to your guests, but don’t be a wishy-washy Charlie Brown. If everyone has read in their guidebooks about Suzie Wong and wants to go there, then the decision is made for you. But if they’re new to town and forget their books at the hotel, take charge, and when doing so…

2. Stick to the tried and true. Even better, stick to the tried and true that offer the most acceptable worst-case scenarios. For Browns, a reasonable worst case would be that the place is empty, but still comfortable and with a good beer selection. For Q Bar, it might be that rain has closed the deck, but patrons can still sit at the pleasant bar and drink some excellent cocktails. In both cases, the worst isn’t so bad. This helps to…

3. Avoid the great unknowns. I have had fun times at Maggie’s, usually with Agent Red Wolf or O-Zone at 3 AM on a Saturday night when the place is full, we’ve already had a few cocktails, and hearing Welcome to the Jungle sounds like a good idea. But in this case, it was a Monday at 10:30 PM, and I even qualified the visit beforehand by saying it wasn’t likely to be good. As a former boss used to be fond of saying, “when in doubt, leave it out.” Instead, I left Maggie’s in, and by doing so, forgot another key rule…

4. Focus on the core group. By sidestepping Browns and Q Bar, I gave up what was likely to be a good experience for the two people that I knew best, and possibly for all four, in exchange for a gamble on behalf of the two people I knew least. That’s like hitting on 17 in blackjack.

In hindsight, this all seems pretty simple. (Then again, so does making a decent martini, though how many people can do it?) But if you’re handling a group that is impatiently waiting near some taxis, or trying to get people in different parts of the city to one spot, or dealing with people from different age, cultural or other groups, it can get pretty tricky. So maybe falling back on a few basic rules can keep your night out going forward. I n any case, I’m going to start contacting numerous party animals and bar and restaurant experts that I know, and in future newsletters will list some possible itineraries for a fun night in Beijing.

CLOSING SHOTS
I had planned to review Face, Bed, L’Etage and A-Che in this issue, but have simply been too busy of late and this newsletter is already one week overdue. I’ll aim to include them next time, along with a write-up of the Wine and Spirits Education Trust course I finished last night. I was in the inaugural/guinea pig class and w ill opine on whether it was worth the 1488 kuai (and yes, unless otherwise noted, I do pay for these things). / I had my first newsletter-related interview with a Chinese newspaper. I have one thing to say: I am WAY better at writing about the bar scene than at talking about it. / Finally, Eddie-O, Kris Tan and I met about the Whisky and Bourbon Society, and came up with a basic plan. I’m now working on a venue and before the next newsletter will send out details to those on the society’s mailing list. / As always, Eat, Drink and Be Merry. BB.

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• Opening Shots, including The Big Easy, Berber N, and Mojito
• First Impressions: Rui Fu
• A Wine Glass of Any Other Shape
• Wine Notes
• Closing Shots, including Kitchen Confidential, Whisky and Bourbon Society, and a Big Thank You

OPENING SHOTS
China Daily reports that Louisiana-themed The Big Easy will be chai’d on Sunday. Chaoyang Park authorities voided the bar’s 13-year lease, signed in 1998, in order to make space for a “peace plaza,” although they didn’t reveal whether this will be a government or commercial venture, states the newspaper. The creative layout, spirited music and Bloody Marys of The Big Easy will be missed. / Before losing its trio of capable bartenders earlier this year, Midnight packed in partiers and pumped out 50-kuai cocktails. Now, a signboard out front advertises 10-kuai drinks, including — and some might prefer this one with two parame dics, stomach pump and stretcher — Gin and Coke. / Browns, bursting at the seams last Saturday night, smartly anchored an ice-filled claw-footed bathtub of bottled beer just inside the door and thus siphoned off some of the thirsty patrons teeming at the bar. (Suggestion: Sell bottled water from the tub, too.) / Berber N, home of tasty kebabs before construction forced its closure on Sanlitun North earlier this year, has reopened across from Tongli Studios. Never have skewered chicken butts been more savory. / The last time I saw words such as “closed for maintenance work,” they were plastered on the door at First Cafe, which shortly thereafter pounded into coaster-size bits. That is, until Tuesday — and I hope it is coincidence — when I spotted them in n eat longhand beside the entrance to Mojito, a fairly new place that has Beijing’s only draft Weihenstephaner. (Could a beer have a better name for the China market? The first half sounds delightfully Mandarin and the second evok es the Deutschland.) / Contrary to popular belief, Beijing does have table hockey, courtesy of W Sports Bar, where it is buried amid the ping pong table, dartboard, big-screen TV, pool table, art, grand piano, foosball table, etc. Is there anywher e else in town where you might simultaneously hear “Who’s serve?”, “bull’s eye!”, “I’ll have two beers, please”, “eight ball, corner pocket” and “this is simply too Dadaist for my taste,” all while someone chops out Mozart and a Formula 1 race shows? / Dee p in Sanlitun South, a new bar is opening on the second floor of the building that Beer Mania calls home. With W Sports Bar, Q Bar and Yes Club nearby, a new party zone seems to be forming. / Speaking of Q Bar: one crane, four hours, and a dozen people. Th at’s about what it took to get a five-meter tree and some stone flower beds atop this bar’s increasingly green sixth-floor deck a few weeks ago. Fortunately, should the day come, it will only take a few seconds to get them back down. / With its latest Chicago blues act having returned stateside, icehouse, the bar part of RBL, now features a mix of local and foreign talent in the form of the Rhythm Dogs (Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays). Meanwhile, the employee turnstile spins on as Ch ef Dan Segal, who joined RBL this year after working at the former Louisiana restaurant in the Hilton, has left for Hong Kong. / Stone Boat continues with its funky live music line-up. The next three Fridays feature Enfants Terribles (electro-jazz, August 11), Muwen (traditional instruments, August 18) and Hanggai (”Mongol roots,” August 25), while Panjir Trio plays Saturdays all month. / Speaking of which, shortly after announcing the readers’ choices for its recent bar and club awards, that’s Beijing (TBJ) published its “editor’s pick s.” Top spot of the year honors went to Stone Boat (good ambience and music, though the drinks and service are spotty), with honorable mentions to Area (was it on the ballot?) and Club Football (known primarily for its soccer pitches). Nothing against those places, but I don’t think collectively they had the impact of Browns. It exploded onto the bar scene this year, is busy beyond belief, appeals to most every age group, nationality and profession, influences and attracts as customers other bar owners and employees, offers decent food and a good draft beer selection, and, last but not least, won the readers’ vote. Love it or hate it, the place has made a mark. By the way, TBJ deserves kudos for organizing these awards. Cynics claim the magazine uses them to placate sponsors, but since each of the 20 categories has one winner and seven losers, more clients are likely to be upset than pleased. (And if you don’t believe it, then a band of TBJ staffers will roll up their gargantuan 250-page magazines and knock you about like a pinata. Or, maybe not.) / Fromage fans must be quick on the return key trigger when they get Beijing Cheese Society invites. Next week’s California-themed event at Palais sold out in a few hours. / Correction: Last issue, I wrote that 5:19 Bar and Grill was starting a darts league. In fact, it is one of the hosts of the Beijing International Darts League, which welcomes new teams and venues (email Chris “Elvis” Milward at commish @ beijing-darts.com).

FIRST IMPRESSIONS / RUI FU
I toiled beyond the borders of China during the heydays of Neo Lounge and Vogue, the venues that shot Henry Li to the top of the Beijing club-owner charts a few ye ars ago. Even so, I am intrigued by the history of those two places, about which so many friends rave ecstatic. I had high expectations for Li’s new club, Rui Fu. I wanted to like this joint, to understand the buzz created by my friends. And since it is na med after and based in the abode of an early twentieth-century Chinese leader, I envisioned a spacious place that welded the modern to the past, had layers of character and, given Li’s bar experience, served good drinks.

One thing is true: the club is spa cious. The ceilings are lofty, the lounge areas sprawling, the 1000 square meters ample. But any homage to the past is absent. Rui Fu is a virtual reality. It evokes the spirits of the plush karaoke, generic hotel casino, and modernized opium den, places w here losing track of time, forgetting the complexities of every day life, and finding indulgences are givens. The main floor is divided into two large narrow rooms joined by an opening. From the near side’s perspective, tables and chairs, then lounge areas, flow until they meet that opening, beyond which figures appear as silhouettes. A row of toffee-colored octopi-like “chandeliers” crowned with donut-shaped lights crawls spans the ceiling, framed by a strip of soft lights along the trim and a neon glow from the rafters. And a room-length curtain flows in front of what is mostly likely a wall, but could be a hiding spot for a Wizard of Oz type, calmly keeping the lights just dim enough, the house music just restrained enough, so that things stay on simmer. It all seems a bit unreal, as though pulling a lever might dissolve this scene. I’ll end my comments on ambience here, for my time at Rui Fu was short, my quota for being pretentious has been met, and a proper evaluation will require several return trips.

As for Rui Fu’s bar, it is L-shaped and seats about 15 people (fans of reddish velvet framed by white piping look will love the chairs). My only cocktail was, in theory, a vodka martini with a twist: the bartender inexplicably squeezed a lemon into the shaker with the alcohol rather than, as is proper, placing a strip of peel in the glass as a final touch. (*This* was the time for a lever that would make something, namely my drink, disappear.) It might be best to stick to wine, beer or spirits, which are reasonably priced (a serving of Johnnie Walker Black is Y35).

Rui Fu, still to have its official opening, will rank among the year’s top bar stories, one with a high-falutin’ plot if the free English magazines are any indicator (that’s Beijing got in the first “see and be seen” reference, while Timeout used “glitterati” and expressed seeming displeasure that “some guests [at the soft launch] obviously missed the whole point of Rui Fu as they slobbed around in jeans, trainers and t-shirts, not quite reflecting the A-list celebrity hang out that Lee has envisaged”). Throw in the general consensus that serious guanxi is behind the club, that Henry Li is a brand name in and of himself, and that plenty of old-time party-goers will be looking to re-live the days of Vogue and Neo Lounge, and it’s going to get interesting.

A GLASS OF ANY OTHER SHAPE
My body has filtered its fair share of wine during the past decade, but it was only a few weeks ago at The Bookworm that I finally attended a Riedel tasting. Riedel is an Austrian company that makes expensive machine- and hand-made crystal wine glasses in dozens of shapes, each one designed for a particular grape variety. The glass for Merlot is different than the glass for Bordeaux, and so on. The idea is that the shape and volume of the glass determines how wine is aerated and where it falls on the tongue, and thus significantly influences how we smell and taste it.

A dozen of us began with a Chardonnay served, as you might guess, in a Riedel Chardonnay glass. A few sniffs and sips later, we poured the wine into one of those small glasses commonly used by restaurants and bars. The effect was striking. The bouquet seemed much weaker and the taste sour, as the smaller glass’ shape directed the wine aw ay from the tip of our tongues, where our sense of sweetness lies. But what if rather than that obviously sub-par small glass we had used a different Riedel one? After trying the Sauvignon Blanc in its special vessel, we did just that, pouring the wine into the now-empty Chardonnay glass. The effect on the bouquet and taste was still evident, though less pronounced. We rounded out our testing with a Pinot Noir and a Cabernet Sauvignon.

I asked if budget-minded souls could get these results by using a cheap glass with a shape similar to that of the Riedel. The answer was that crystal: 1) makes it easier to check wine clarity and; 2) allows for more aeration, as under a microscope it is rougher than glass. What can I say? No one had a microscope handy. In the end, the tasting was both an education of the senses and sheer marketing genius, for we had plunked down RMB250 each for what was partly a sales pitch. While Riedel is nice, I’m sticking for now with the RMB20 wine glasses I bought at the former Riverside Cafe — they are cheap and big, and since my friends tend to break stuff after a few bottles of wine, I’d hate to have that rough crystal scratching my linoleum floor. For those who do wish to indulge, Riedel is distributed exclusively in China by ASC.

WINING ABOUT BEIJING
Moet Hennessy Diageo (MHD) provides Veuve Cliquot and Moet Chandon to our fair city, and, as I discovered at a Beijing This Month party last week, a n assortment of other wines, including Cloudy Bay Sauvignon Blanc (New Zealand), Cape Mentelle Sauvignon Semillon and Green Point Victoria Shiraz (Australia), Terrazas Reserva Malbec (Argentina), and Casa Lapostolle Cuvee Alexandre Chardonnay and Merlot (Chile). / Speaking of distribution, reader C.J. Dukes took me to Jiu Fu Sheng Ming Wine Shop (8779-6202), a spacious and well-stocked wine and spirits outlet complete with flagstones, seating, and fish tank. Owner John Zhang is transforming the space next door into a wine haven that will include a tasting area, small stage, and plenty of retail space. (I picked up a bottle of Wild Turkey and it passed my “didn’t freeze solid overnight in the freezer” test.) / Stefan Fleischer says the new kitchen at Palette Vino in Shunyi will operate from 5 to 10 PM and serve antipasti, cold cuts, freshly made pasta, cheese, and grilled meats and tuna. / Upcoming events at ASC Fine Wines include a New World and Old World tasting at The Bookworm (August 17, 7-8:30 PM, RMB250), a Gold Label cigar dinner at Garden of Delights (August 25, 7 PM, Y688, includes one cigar, Wolf Blass wines), a Trimbach winemaker dinner at The Capital Club (September 2, 7 PM, Y688) and a Banfi dinner at The St. Regis (September 9, 7 PM, Y788). / ASC has partnered with the UK-based Wine and Spirit Education Trust (WSET) to provide classes in China. The “foundation” course is for beginners, in English, and focused on wine styles, service, and food-pairing techniques (September 28-31, 7-9 PM nightly, exam September 6, Y1488). / On August 26, China World Hotel’s Aria will pair a six-course meal by Chef Andrew McKee with seven wines that rate 95 or higher in Wine Spectator. Forget that Boracay trip fund: this dinner is Y3888. The wines (points in brackets): Krug Grande Reserve Champagne (95), 2002 Leeuwin Estate Chardonnay (96), 1996 Faiveley Corton Charlemagne Grand Cru (96), 1990 Gaja Barbaresco (100 points), 1983 Chateau Margaux (96 points), 1988 Chateau Latour (96 points) and 1998 Chateau D’yquem (95 points). / Jebsen is giving a “wine and picnic backpack” to customers that purchase a case of the company’s Chiaro wine. The backpack holds two bottles of wine (not included) and comes with plastic cups, utensils and plates.

CLOSING SHOTS
In the summer reading section last issue, I should have included Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential, which looks at the restaurant business in general and the author’s transformation from oyster-eating youngster to drug-abusing kitchen grunt to increasingly respectable New York chef in particular. The most useful excerpt concerns a couple known for throwing excellent dinner parties and encouraged by friends into opening a restaurant, only to realize that people are far more likely to show up when the food is free. There is a lesson o r two here for prospective bar owners. / I’ll also recommend two websites. The first is news.imagethief.com, created by “an American spin doctor in Beijing” who provides insights into both the PR field and life in the Middle Kingdom. (His “How to Survive a Chinese Drinking Party” is a modern-day “Art of War” for those battling a night of baijiu.) The second is danwei.org, which tracks “media, advertising and urban life” in China, and is run by the brains behind the sexy Centro ad campaign. / I’m not a big fan of bartenders doing fancy tricks with bottles, but this guy, apparently at Beijing’s Salsa Caribe, is impressive: www.youtube.com/watch?v=agRiiO6-Po0. / To those who have patiently been waiting for my Whisky and Bour bon Society, I will send out a survey by Monday to find out where, when and how often you would like to meet. If you are interested in the society but do not receive the survey, please let me know. (Note: I’ve contacted several distilleries about this project and will provide an update next issue.) / My goal when starting this newsletter last October was 500 readers. On Wednesday, thanks to Adam D. signing up, I reached it. Who are your fellow readers? There are 130 people working in hotels, restaurants, bars, or wine and spirits companies, 80 in the local and foreign media, and 290 that hold jobs ranging from diplomat to homemaker to English teacher to businessperson. I owe many thanks to those readers who have passed on this newsletter to their friends and acquaintances over the past ten months. I’ll be back next issue with reviews of Face (first impressions are good) and A Che (a Cuba-inspired spot), and notes on pairing Chinese food and wine. Until then, eat, drink and be merry. Cheers, BB.

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with Big Bamboo, Blue Frog, Senses, Zapata’s, Cotton’s, South Beauty, and two dozen more spots, as well as three conversations: What About Bob?; Musical Chairs; and Shaky, Not Stirring.

OPENING SHOTS: This issue covers 30 drinking holes in Shanghai and is twice as long as usual, so I will save until next time my Beijing content, including reports on Capital Club, Durty Nellie’s, 5:19, Modern Nomads (Mongolian vodka martinis, just across from Banana Leaf), Browns (which broke the Zing by Doodoo record for most mafang-to-get drink: 20 minutes, including four trips to the bar, and that was with the help of the supervisor, manager AND owner), a John Bull Pub wine tasting, the inaugural Agent Red Wolf Long Island Iced Tea and Mojito Awards, the future of bartending experts George and Echo, who quit at Midnight a few hours ago, so you might want to skip that place for cocktails (more on this, including a cheesy headline such as “Sundown at Midnight,” coming up), and any other spots I visit over the next ten days. I’ll also respond to those readers who will no doubt claim I have completely misrepresented Shanghai ’s pub scene.

BEIJING VERSUS SHANGHAI: north versus south, politics versus business, center of the universe versus city by the sea; the former claiming the latter values style over substance, the latter caring not what the former thinks; two siblings with bar scenes divergent. Some brief observations about the drinking holes of our neighbor, based on three days of research last week and three last year, after which I’ll make some gross generalizations about how our two cities stack up. Unless noted, comments on each bar are based on a single visit (readers in Shanghai may now commence shaking their heads in disgust and rolling their eyes in disbelief). For added perspective, I asked D-Rock, Kraft-D, Alpha Veda and Winopete for their input. I was unable to complete my to-do list, which includes Zin, Laris, Long Bar, The Cotton Club, House of Blues and Jazz, and Sasha’s, meaning another trip is soon in order. Finally, given the length of this issue and my limited time for writing it, I apologize for it being too verbose.

Big Bamboo Owner Bryce Jenner supports numerous sports teams, including the local ice dogs, and is contemplating buying a bus for them (and the patrons?). He’s also planning to add bigger flat-panel TVs. Tiger beer: 40 kuai (20 kuai during happy hour). Weak points include so-so food (the nachos were particularly sub-par) and a deceptive step just inside the door, on which I saw a dozen people trip. Overall, though, a big thumb up for Big Bamboo, where I enjoyed chatting with friends, playing an expert foosball player (even notched two goals) and watching, with the bar packed to the rafters, the Olympic gold medal hockey game between Sweden and Finland (the place went crazy with that electrifying finish).

Next up was the trendier, pricier, dimmer and more cramped BLUE FROG (Tongren branch). I went with D-Rock, Kraft-D and Alpha Veda (AV) and friends for dinner, and tracked down the owner, who shares my family name. Thus occurred, Conversation 1: What about Bob?

[The first floor of the bar is sparsely populated. A patron is about to make a simple query.]

Me: “Is Bob Boyce here?”

Employee behind the bar: “What?”

“Bob Boyce, the owner.”

Employee hands me a pack of Marlboros.

“I don’t want cigarettes. I’m looking for Bob Boyce. The owner. Boss. Laoban.”

He confers with a colleague and then makes a vague hand gesture toward the bar’s end. I walk there; see a guy talking on a cell phone; wait until he’s finished.

Me: “Hi, are you Bob Boyce?”

Guy: “Excuse me?”

“Are you Bob Boyce?”

“[Sarcastically] No, but I could pretend to be him for five minutes.”

And there you have it folks. My second stop in Shanghai and I already knew where to find quality service AND comedy. I eventually did track Bob down. He owns four Blue Frog outlets and a place called KABB (see below), and is a bit of a legend in the local bar scene, having opened his first bottles almost a decade ago on Maoming (which is apparently on its last legs and faces the same fate as did our Sanlitun South a year ago). Each Blue Frog is geared to its location, so if you either like or dislike one, don’t hold it against the others. The name itself comes from an ancient Greek hallucinatory drink containing blue curacao, ouzo, and secretions from a frog native only to Sparta (the garnish is three olives on a tiny plastic Sword of Damocles). Okay, I made that last part up, because I forgot to ask Bob about the name, but a Yahoo search reveals that “blue frog” jumped into his head one day. Bob’s thinking of making the leap to Beijing to open a bar.

Anyway, I rejoined my friends upstairs just in time for conversations about U.S.-Canada relations, the role of global elites, Mongolian hedge funds: pros and cons, and new perspectives on images of Ganesh in modern Indian poetry. (Okay, I also made up those last two, but these are the kinds of topics that spin off when someone shows up with a serious book like, “Policing Shanghai, 1927-1937.” Nice work, Jay!). By the way, of the four hamburgers I had in Shanghai, Blue Frog’s was the best, and had a perfectly cooked patty (more pickle would have been nice). During Happy Hour, it was 70 kuai and included a large draft. The place itself seems more appropriate for a first date than our restless and ready-for-the-town group, so we headed to…

MANHATTAN, where on my last visit I saw a fun Filipino band. The place was virtually empty this time around, so we continued on to SENSES wine bar (thanks to readers GT and CD for the tip). In theory, I love this spot - an establishment dedicated to wine and with a good selection available by the glass. One drawback is the mish mash of patterns on the wall, the kitschy pink rafter lights et al (for a successful recreation room re-creation, see Plan B). We came at the tail end of a wine-tasting event and tried some of those vintages, along with a passable Grace Vineyards Cabernet Sauvignon, though Kraft-D didn’t like it - as he mentioned at least eight dozen times. (I’m convinced he would be just as critical if I filled his glass with Chateau Latour and told him it was Chinese wine. And yes, that’s a cheap shot.) The wines range from Frontera Cabernet Sauvigon and Two Oceans Shiraz at 200 kuai to Wolf Blass Gold Label 2002 at 510 kuai to Grand Cru territory. Monday features 25-kuai glasses of wine; Tuesday has 30 percent off bottles; Wednesday and Thursday gets you a one-kuai meal with any bottle bought; and there is a BBQ on the weekend. Kraft-D said that Senses outdoor seating area is “among the most outstanding features of the place.”

Owner Matt Ryan kindly sat down and talked to us about the wine business, noting a Qingdao Riesling and a Xinjiang ice wine (first I’d heard of them). After polishing off our third bottle, he proclaimed, “Hamburger time, fellows.” We headed off, but not before the owner in question went toe-to-toe with six bouncers across the street - all in the Olympic spirit, of course - over the issue of grabbing taxis. A man who can handle a corkscrew and has Jackie Chan moves - ladies, what are you waiting for?

I recall little about the EAGER BEAVER, except it had high chairs, a neighborhood bar feel, and more chalk graffiti than an art school. Matt kindly manned the bar until someone appeared from the back and we were soon inhaling burgers (barbecued, toasted bun) and fries (RMB35). It was a perfect way to deal with the post-Midnight munchies. (Note: My apologies for yelling at the guy who announced, “Curling is not a sport.” Yes, he is entitled to his opinion and I should have remained placid, but really, until you’ve tried picking up a heavy rock, sliding it along the ice, and aiming, with perfect weight, to an exact spot far, FAR away, you might want to keep an open mind. Even so, my apologies, and should we meet again, the next Beaver burger is on me. P.S. Curling IS a sport.)

FRIDAY

D-Rock and I ate lunch at MALONE’S so I could try the burger, which like Blue Frog’s, made it to the semifinals of a recent contest by SH magazine (which is quite good, by the way, but lags behind that’s Beijing ). Malone’s menu has 18 kinds of burgers, from a “Fajita,” with cheddar, sour cream, salsa, onion and peppers, to a “Cowboy,” with jack cheese, bacon, and fried mushrooms and onions (all of them are 48 kuai, with fries and salad). The place has a cafeteria feel about it: the free refills of watery iced tea, the ketchup and Thousand Island dressing that looked institutional, and the fries that seemed as though they were cooked in a fifty-pound lot. The saving grace: the burger was good.

D-Rock was dispassionate about his burrito: “It’s mediocre and there’s lot of it.” Perhaps that’s the point: Malone’s is a place for groups of businesspeople to get together, chat, have a big if not spectacular meal, and then go back to the office completely carbed up, all for a fairly low price. Certainly, there is a need for such spots. Given the long bar and the posters advertising live music, I have a feeling I would like Malone’s a lot more at night, and will visit again when I return to Shanghai.

(Note: RENDEZ-VOUS CAFE is considered by many to have the best burgers in town. While the cafe’s decor is nothing to write home about - the centerpiece is an oversized Heineken bottle on a wall unit - the burger is indeed tasty, if a bit pliable. Blue Frog’s burger, however, gets my vote for taste, with Rendez-vous holding its own if you figure in value - 30 kuai, including fries and drink.)

While getting my free wireless fix at Big Bamboo, lo and behold, there appeared on a stool a few meters away an icon of the Taipei bar scene - Winopete. His happy hour newsletter a few years back had a cult following, the legend being made when, due to unwavering diligence, he discovered a hole-in-the-wall bar where three large bottles of Taiwan draft for three dollars. All hail the master! This fateful meeting could only mean one thing: it was time for the British pubs.

We started at BRITISH BULLDOG, a standard two-floor pub, though be forewarned: avoid the seat near the door, since the dip in the ceiling blocks half of the big-screen TV and the nearby heater blows right on your face. Ever the handyman and realizing that the nearby owner and waitresses were not about to do anything, I adjusted the heater vents. Pete had gotten us there just in time (no surprise) for happy hour (6 to 8 PM), which meant two-for-one. Except for our friendly, funny, bubbly waitress, the Bulldogs were pretty mellow, with people prone and evidently letting a week’s worth of stress evaporate. Note: British Bulldog has two Tiger beers plus free flow curry for 100 kuai on Mondays, a trivia night, and British comedy and films on weekends.

O’MALLEY’Sis set off the street, behind a wall, and has nice outdoor seating. Inside, the main floor has plenty of nooks and crannies, one of which contained two friends from Taiwan, De Usher and K-Gin. After hugs and kisses, we headed for floor two, which was rustic and airy, especially with those high rafters. O’Malley’s has been around since 1996, says Pete, but - and this is a major black mark in his book - has no happy hour. He also criticized having Frontera as a house wine (”They could do better. Even Eaglehawk is better than this.“) and the high prices (”It’s hard to find a more expensive bar like this than O’Malley’s.”). A pint of Guinness: 65 kuai. The Bloody Mary was okay, the staff was friendly, and I thought it was worth the stop.

Third up was the nearby BLARNEY STONE, where we met D-Rock and Kraft-D. Fairly empty when we arrived, the place was soon bustling. Service was okay, though D-Rock though the staff a bit lethargic. Carlsberg: 40 kuai a pint; I think Guinness was 65 kuai. Blarney Stone seemed quite cliquish, with a lot of couples and small groups. On the other hand, friends have told me it’s a great place to strike up conversations with strangers. Kraft-D described it as “not overly commercial” and I can only say: more research required. (Note: This is not a good place to practice your Irish imitations, even if they are in good fun.)

With three British pubs under our belts, we headed to Hongmei Street, which is pretty much in the middle of… nowhere. This area is expected to be booming in a few years, but unfortunately my trip was measured in a few days. Our first stop was BE BOP, which has an identity crisis. On the speakers: reggae. On the tube: NBA basketball. On the walls: too much neon, alongside art that ranged from traditional prints to cheesy nudes. On the tables: dice games. On the chairs: bar staff willing to lend an ear to a lonely fellow. This place seemed to be a combination of Taipei ’s Combat Zone and Beijing ’s Sanlitun North strip. If you’re male and looking for someone to talk to (note: you’ll be buying drinks for two), Be Bop might be for you.

A few doors down the empty street was BABY BAMBOO, Big Bamboo’s second outlet, and one of only three places with more than a handful of customers. (Witness our visit to the Blue Frog branch nearby, where the chairs were already stacked for the night.) The pole dancer gave the place a slightly sleazy feeling which, as D-Rock noted, isn’t exactly going to bring in female clients, the absence of which is not exactly going to bring in male clients. The bar had the standard two-floor layout - a bar downstairs, a pool table upstairs. “It’s like Big Bamboo, but smaller,” said Kraft-D, thereby affirming that putting “baby” in the name was a good call. “It’s the right size for this street. It might one day outgrow the space, but right now it works.” Tiger Beer: 35 kuai.

Our last Hongmei stop was 3D, which we couldn’t pass up after spotting the window display of beer. This was a cozy place and had the only genuine bar ambience on the street. I had two wishes: one, that I hadn’t been too tired to keep more notes, and two, that this had been our first stop on Hongmei.

With Kraft-D heading home, D-Rock and I decided to hit one more place - Park 97. This is a high-end bar chock full of “the beautiful people” - except for the sick guy in the bathroom who sounded like he was trying to eject his lungs through his nostrils. Drinking lesson number one: know thy limit. Park 97 is comfortable but pricey (Heineken: 55 kuai), and offers good music and plenty of people-watching opportunities. Going there is like going to Tokyo : if you have the money, you will have the funny.

SATURDAY

Night three began at KAAB, in Xintiendi, a contrived area reminiscent of, though more upscale than our Lotus Lane in Houhai. KABB has a warm and cozy feel, but the seating is overly tight, with tables barely big enough to hold a plate and a drink, thus bringing us to, Conversation II: musical chairs:

[Two attractive - by some standard in some place, surely. No!? Oh well - patrons enter the bar, planning to have drinks and dinner with two friends who will arrive a bit later.]

D-Rock: “Table for four.”

Hostess looks around, and around, and around, seeming unable to decide, or to care about, where to seat us. I optimistically motion to a nearby table.

Hostess: “That’s reserved.”

We swivel some more. Just as I’m getting dizzy, she turns and points to a table in the corner. “There.”

D-Rock: “That has a reservation sign, too.”

She frowns for a second, then steps forward and removes the sign.

“There.”

Guess what happens five minutes later? A group of eight comes in and sits down beside us. They obviously lack space since, ta da, the hostess just gave it to us. So much for planning ahead. We offer them one of our TV-tray sized tables. That leaves us one and D-Rock loses his happy shiny feeling. “I want to go to a place where everybody knows my name and they’re always glad I came,” he says, and since we no longer have room for Kraft-D and Alpha Veda, we decide to skip dinner, have a quick drink, and meet them elsewhere. This brings us to, Conversation III: Shaky, not stirring:

A waitress approaches our table and gives us a blank look. I translate this as having four possible meanings: 1) “What would you like to order?”, 2) “Why did you people have to come here and make my life more difficult?”; 3) “If we switch to a PDA-based F&B ordering system linked to all Blue Frog and KABB branches, we could realize economies of scale, save on HR costs and invest in bigger tables; 4) “If the chicken came before the egg, did the burger come before the bun?”

Me: “Martini, please.”

Nods and starts to walk away.

“Just a moment. I would like vodka, not gin.”

Starts to walk away.

“Just a moment. I want it stirred, not shaken. ”

Looks both bored and bewildered, if that’s possible, and in KABB it apparently is.

“I want it stirred [stirring motion], not shaken [shaking motion].”

Nods and starts to walk away.

“Just a moment. No olives, please.”

Perhaps it was the stop-and-go nature of our conversation, but this last request seemed to cause a spark, a kind of brain ignition, a realization that I cared about my drink, even if she didn’t.

“Okay, you want a martini, vodka, stirred, no olives.”

And there you go: even sans Ouija board it IS possible to reach a disembodied spirit if you try hard enough. The martini (50 kuai) won’t win any awards, but it was okay, and anyway, Bob suggested I test his staff on that drink, so with my mission completed, we headed for…

PAULANER, where in the early eve they seem to have 10 employees per patron, with every one of them trying to be helpful in a get-in-the-way kind of way. There is all the lebensraum you would expect from a place that charges 65 kuai for a gin and tonic and 68 kuai for draft beer (I had Munich dark; it lacked any bite at all.) Nice ambience and decor, especially the main bar, but perhaps we were too early to feel the Zeitgeist. Kraft-D, ever the number cruncher, was unimpressed. “They have ambitious pricing here,” he said. “It’s just upsetting to me to pay that price for this beer.” I was perturbed that the staff was so evasive about giving me an official receipt. They eventually told me to take their house receipt to the door for an official one. (Are you kidding?) Let’s see, I pay 68 for a beer and it’s my job to run around for a receipt. Pass.

Since we skipped out on the food at KABB and Paulaner, we headed to the MANCHURIAN SPECIAL FLAVOR JIAOZI RESTAURANT (the branch in Beijing ranks among my favorite spots for cheap Chinese food). You want service? How about a place that gets the beer flowing - 8 kuai, 500 ML bottle - while you wait in line? We feasted on very tender pork ribs, three kinds of dumplings, eggplant, a beef and potato dish, and steamed tofu with gravy, chili and cilantro. It was solid fare, and the staff was friendly, though the service is quicker and the food hotter in Beijing (try the Dongzhimen branch).

After going relatively low end, we decided to move up a dozen notches and head to the new SOUTH BEAUTY. This place is lovely, being surrounded by water fountains and plenty of lawn. The bar has an intimate feeling and from where we sat we could hear only the murmur of distant conversation and an occasional burst of laughter. I felt like I was at a ritzy guest house where the owners had said, “We’ll be back in a few hours. Just relax and the staff will look after you.” Of course, in this case we had to pay, but with the myriad rooms and seating options, the garden out back and the relaxed atmosphere, it was worth it, if only to feel my blood pressure drop and my muscles relax by the minute. There is a blackjack table nearby, though you can only play for drinks. As for the drinks, AV described her fruit smoothie (50 kuai) as “creamy and fresh,” while my martini (65 kuai) was decent, but came with three olives, despite my polite requests for an olive-free world. D-Rock noted that given the place’s potential for cigar and Whisky lovers, the selection of the latter is quite weak, with only a few widely available brands. Even so, South Beauty is a nice change of pace and about the most extreme contrast you could get to…

ZAPATA’S, Shanghai ’s equivalent of Browns in Beijing and Carnegie’s in Taipei, which means wild, all-night fun. The place has a nice open Mexico-themed layout on two levels, both of which have dancing areas. The bottom one includes a large bar top, on which people get up and dance (in fact, that’s the whole point). From a Grease medley to ABBA, the music had the unpretentious clientele in high spirits and at one point a staff member jumped on the bar and started pouring tequila into the mouths of patrons below. As much fun as that sounds, the catch-22 is that you always end up with a few people who get too drunk and turn into jerks, but such is life. You can’t have everything (including, in one case, drinks. side of the bar to order drinks and a bouncer back there crudely waved me away, pointing to the front, which was completely packed. As he stood there with arms crossed in a macho pose and stared at the crowd, someone moved in front of me and ordered. Now the bouncer realized that he was in the wrong, but rather than help me get my drink and salvage the situation - in other words, be “professional” - he stayed in tough-guy mode. The bartender finally spotted me and just as he handed over the drinks, the bouncer waves me away again. Nice job, Einstein. Yes, these things happen, but these things also need to be pointed out so we can minimize their occurrence). Anyway, Zapata’s is a fun place, especially if you’re with a group of friends, and is apparently crazy on ladies’ night (Wednesdays). If you get claustrophobic, pop into the spacious courtyard outside for a breather (it backs onto Sasha’s). By the way, the coat check and lockers are nice touches.

Next up was COTTON’S, which seemed to be headquarters for the young white professional crowd. It’s in a three-floor house, with seating outside, although we stuck to the first floor (I know, I know, I missed out on the fireplaces). “It’s like a big house party,” said AV. Yes, except that you have to pay 40 kuai for a beer and get bumped nonstop by other patrons. “It’s 65-70 percent Caucasian and they are drinking, drinking, drinking,” said Kraft-D, marveling at the cash flow. Cotton’s is apparently a hip place to rent a room and play board games or just hang out with friends. Gin and tonic: 38; bottled beer: 38-45; martini: 45; sound system downstairs: 3/10.

D-Rock picked our last stop: PLAN B. This place had a Wayne’s World / recreation room feel to it, evident in everything from the wall poster art to the rickety railing. D-Rock describes it as having “one of the world’s largest repositories of dot matrix printouts featuring men with mullets.” And if you love alternative rock and punk, then you’ll love Plan B. Funnily enough, I was talking to one of the owners and watching the Olympics when an employee walked over, stuck the remote control between our heads, and turned off the TV. Nice work, buddy. Fortunately, a firm word got the TV back on - just in time to see the end of the women’s 1500-meter speed skating gold medal race, among the most inspiring of the games (did I mention that curling is a sport?). With Plan B closing for the night, D-Rock and I initiated Plan C and headed home.

AND NOW A FEW NOTES on places that I visited on my last trip, last year, with Sweet n’ Liu (SL) and D-Rock:

NEW HEIGHTS: On the Bund, the place has a deck with an excellent view of Pudong and the strait separating it from Shanghai proper (watch giant Karaokes / restaurants, done in a traditional Chinese style, languidly float by). The hamburger was tasty, though prohibitive (over 100 kuai); the martini (65 kuai) was okay.

BAR ROUGE: At 18 on the Bund, it also offers an excellent view of Pudong, and has better martinis (60 kuai). The patrons were stylish and in some cases snobbish (perhaps it’s because SL and I were soaked from the rain), and seemed split between those there to impress each other and those looking for a little love. Bar Rouge seems to specialize in giant bowls of shooters in dry ice. I guess that’s a niche. Each night, the bartenders, who have obviously watched their fair share of Cocktail, light the bar top on fire. (Normally I’m not a fan of that kind of thing, but in this case, the flames helped to dry our clothes.)

JUDY’S: A rough and ready place that was hopping during my two visits and with clientele whose ages span five decades. A couple of pole dancers showed up around 11. Does this sort of thing really increase the number of customers? Anyway, call it a smaller, cheaper Zapata’s.

STUDIO 78: Having just eaten a massive Xinjiang meal, we were feeling lethargic. Plus, Studio 78 was virtually empty. Plus, sitting on the bean bag chairs was an exercise in balance. Plus, there was something weird about the bathroom, but I can’t remember what. My point: I can’t judge the place based on this one visit, particularly since I had the attitude of a boa that just ingested a horse and because the music was good if cheesy. This could be a great place when crowded. More research required.

MANHATTAN : The excellent Filipino band gave this place a good deal of energy. It had a high proportion of older Western men and younger Chinese women, and I sense some short-term M&A action was happening (why did this place make me think of Maggie’s in Beijing ?). The staff was fairly friendly and efficient, though strangely enough, on both my visits, which spanned several months, I was told: “We don’t have a drinks menu, but it will be in a few days.” Hmmm.

MINT: Good music, good crowd, decent drinks. SL and I had fun hanging out here and even did some dancing. The cozy seating area includes some sofas and beds, and reminds me of a much more upscale Suzie Wong.

BARBAROSSA: Tons of wood and a view of a lotus pond - sit on the deck and enjoy the evening. This place is massive: apparently, over a thousand people were on hand for a joint chambers of commerce event last year, so make sure you’ve got your friend’s cell phone numbers or risk being lost. The bartender was displeased when we complained that SL’s drink was too salty. Ah, the nerve of these customers!

WINDOWS: In a basement, it’s a vast, low-ceilinged, sweaty place with a sticky floor and 10-kuai drinks. Even with a bad cold, you can smell the bathrooms from 50 meters away and the risk of getting a piece of toilet paper stuck to your show is extremely high. Think of a bigger, dirtier Kai Club’underground. Simple observation suggests this is a major pick-up joint - I think the numerous couples making out on the cheap plastic chairs gave it away. Should any of these relationships lead to marriage, I’d love to hear the “how we first met” stories: “It was magical. Mei Hua was standing there covered in sweat, fighting off two guys and holding a ten-kuai gin and tonic in each hand, all with the cutest four-meter stream of toilet paper stuck to her stiletto shoes. I couldn’t resist!”)

AMERICAN CLUB: Set on the 28th floor, it looks straight down the strait separating Pudong and the Bund; thereby offering a tremendous view. SL and I went here for a wine tasting and I marveled at the incredible skyline.

YOU SAY BEIJING, I SAY SHANGHAI

After all this research, what conclusions (also known as gross generalizations) can we draw about bar scenes in our two cities, all while freely admitting that more - much more - study is required?

Take one can, add sardines: From mid-range coffee shop Gino’s to trendy-among-professionals KABB to mansion-rebuilt-into-house-party Cotton’s, some Shanghai establishments seem to go to new heights to see just how many chairs (and bodies) they can cram into a given space. Is it perhaps a case of vertical Shanghai versus horizontal Beijing ? Whatever it is, the latter offers far more elbow room.

Service ability: Shanghai bartenders and wait staff generally provide better service than their counterparts in Beijing. They are more customer-oriented and tend to neither get fazed by customer requests that drift beyond their immediate experience, nor personally insulted by the slightest criticism of the bar.

Money this, money that: It seems like nearly every expatriate in Shanghai is there for business, whereas in Beijing you regularly run into, along with businesspeople, everyone from embassy staff to students fanatical about Chinese culture and language. And unlike Shanghai, you rarely (ever?) find bars in Beijing where Caucasians make up the vast majority of the clientele (that’s an observation, not a judgment).

I get around: The taxis in Beijing are better, but the drivers in Shanghai are more professional, whether it’s being more polite or keeping their vehicles clean and odor-free. In Beijing, asking a taxi driver to turn down his or her radio - yes, sometimes it’s so loud he or she cannot even hear you - can bring a dose of attitude in response. On the other hand, getting a taxi in Shanghai can be a nightmare. As Kraft-D says, “In Beijing, I never planned a night around whether I thought I could get a taxi or not.”

Pocketbook pressure: Drinks in Shanghai are rougher on your wallet or purse. Some higher-end places are worth it: who could complain about a 60-kuai martini at Bar Rouge when you have that view? But it would be tougher for spots like Plan B or Eager Beaver to charge their prices in Beijing, when there are plenty of similar places here with much cheaper drinks (Phil’s Pub: 10 kuai for a Qingdao).

CLOSING SHOTS: Those looking for more information on Shanghai nightlife can try these general sites: www.8days.sh; www.shanghaiist.com; www.cityweekend.com.cn/en/shanghai; www.thatssh.com; and www.smartshanghai.com. / Next issue, I’ll be back with lots of reports on Beijing ’s bar scene, including - as mentioned - those tasty Mongolian vodka martinis at Modern Nomads and an update on Midnight. Cheers. BB.

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