Beijing Boyce

Phil’s Pub, the friendly neighborhood bar just south of the old Sanlitun South Street, has closed.

Reader EB informed me Friday that she noticed the pub’s sign gone. On closer inspection, she found a message stating that it had closed.

I called owner Phil, who with wife Sally has operated one of the more reasonably priced places in town for more than four years. He said the current landlord is taking over the building for redevelopment, thus denying many a patron from enjoying a GT while mowing down a pile of chuan’r delivered from across the street.

Phil is looking for a new spot. Watch this blog for an update.

Across the way, Black Sun and Dimple remain open.

Phil, of Phil’s Pub fame, has returned to Beijing for good after a long stint at Q Bar in Qingdao . / Sequoia Cafe in Sanlitun is drawing a fun crowd to its frequent Friday wine tastings. Email frank.siegel@gmail.com to get on the invite list. / Trivia addicts in Shunyi can get their fix at the Pomegranate on Wednesday nights. The bar had ten teams at the last quiz. / Months ago, it looked like Serve the People would soon open in the space where once stood Zing by Doodoo. Things have been in limbo so long I’m almost expecting a Serve the Doodoo or Zing the People to open. / Best ice cube in town: that huge Rubik’s cube-sized chunk that Q Bar uses for its Bourbon. / Thanks to H.S. for pointing out that one of the wines reviewed last issue is Church and State, not Church and Stone. / Goose and Duck, soon to relocate, was stuffed, so to speak, as that’s Beijing ’s held its Super Bowl party there Monday.

Note: I’ll start sending out the newsletter at lunch and after work today, and tomorrow.

A darkened door greeted me at Icehouse on Thursday night and further investigation revealed that this bar - the first to fly in blues bands from Chicago, the home for Chopschticks comedy shows and a regular venue for Beijing Cheese Society events - has finally closed after a long struggle to push the high-end envelope in Wangfujing. Icehouse will apparently re-open elsewhere this fall as part of The Legation group of restaurants. Remaining area watering holes include Garden of Delights and Champagne. I’ll have more on the meltdown at Icehouse next issue. / Browns managing partner Philip Cheung married long-time girlfriend Amy at the pub over the holidays. Meanwhile, supervisor Jackie Kong is on extended leave and marketing head Graheme Drew has left for other pursuits, thus taking some energy and personality out of the bar. Browns will celebrate its one-year anniversary on Friday (January 19) with the two-for-one deal that got the place off to a flying start in the first place. / Word has it that Alex Kreilein, who appeared out of nowhere last year and started making good cheap drinks at Phil’s Pub, will return to our fair city this summer. Let’s hope he brings his cocktail shaker. / It’s been ages since my last reconnaissance mission around Workers’ Stadium and a recent hike showed that, beside obvious renovations to the sports facilities, change has been in the air. Gongti East: A sizeable complex now stands erect where the former Maggie’s once squatted and will apparently house fancy restaurants, bars and, if the lettering on a giant green tarp surrounding the place is right, a spa. Nearby, Le Quai continues to offer a nice spot for enjoying coffee and watching people skate. Gongti South: Dance club Mix has a new concrete facade adorned with giant posters advertising upcoming DJs. Across the way, scaffolding stands about three meters in front of Vics and Outback Steakhouse, where a large sign proclaims it is “business as usual” at the latter. Gongti West: Club central remains home to the city’s most ferocious liquor advertising battle, with Johnnie Walker, Chivas and Hennessey fighting for space. The building behind is packed with restaurants, including Three Guizhou Men, Mallikan (Indian), Hot Loft (hot pot), Kuo Bee Pen Da (Chinese) and Coco Cafe, as well as the new Club Babi. Gongti South: As mentioned, Pipes Cafe went singular and dropped the “s” while investing in a new sign that pays homage to Coors Light, while upscale spots such as Face (up the street) and China Lounge (just inside the park) have upped the ante in this area. / A year since my last visit to Souk and this place remains a decent Saturday night retreat, with plenty of nooks for chatting, drinking and, for those who are pretentious or just too lazy to smoke a cigarette, enjoying hookahs. The major drawback: my Bloody Mary came with about a half-ounce of vodka and no Worchester Sauce or celery salt, the latter two ingredients easily available at Jenny Lou’s up the street. / China Expat Magazine published its “2006 China National Bar Awards,” which cover an impressive 25 cities as well as Ulan Bator in Mongolia. The picks for Beijing were Centro, Suzie Wong, Browns, Aperitivo, Bookworm, Face, Pavillion and Maggies. See www.chinaexpat.com for details. / Numerous readers have complained about service at The Bookworm. My own story unfolded last month, when I took two visiting journalists there for lunch to show off the place. We, like most patrons, spent an hour having our annoyance at the long wait for food interrupted by spurts of anticipation whenever a waiter appeared with a plate (is it mine? is it mine?). Turns out much of the kitchen staff had quit. Fine, but why not tell people, so they can decide, on a working day, if the wait is worth it? To its credit, The Bookworm waived our bill, and I’ve since been back for lunch with no problems, but it seems there is some disgruntlement out there and that mixed experiences (see Choose the Gerbil! below) are par for the course at this busy spot (and yes, we do appreciate the books and seminars).

John Bull Pub has officially closed and will reopen as Tim’s Texas BBQ in late October. Sequoia Cafe next door remains open. / The show is over for Icehouse’s live blues experiment. The Wangfujing bar brought in Chicago musicians but not enough Beijing patrons and will soon split duties as home to the Courtyard Gallery and host of Chopschticks comedy nights, Beijing Cheese Society gatherings, wine tastings and weekend bands. / Speaking of double duty, Phil of Phil’s Pub not only owns a Beijing bar, but also manages Q Bar in Qingdao’s Shangri-La Hotel. Pay him a visit if you travel to our beer-loving sister city to the south. / Last Saturday night, 1:30 AM, Rui Fu: empty. I don’t mean just a few patrons, I mean zero. Last Saturday night, 1:45 AM, Maggie’s: busy. What does it mean? / Pipes (plural), known as a retreat for women who love women, now goes by Pipe (singular). If the new sign is any indication, Coors (singular or plural?) is the sponsor. My only visit to Pipe(s) was with M-Dawg last year and lasted an awkward ten minutes. / I visited The Press Club in the St. Regis Hotel twice this past month and found the staff pleasant and the cocktails above average - they should be at 70 kuai per martini. / Smallville, Shunyi’s newest spot, will open on October 21 with free cinnamon rolls, a silent auction of comic book posters, and the Instant Noodles jazz band (8046-5448; beside Yard Restaurant). This spot also boasts butter tarts, my kryptonite of foods, that substance to which I have no resistance. Midnight drew major cocktail-loving crowds before the management and bartenders fell out earlier this year. The bar is virtually empty these days, but hope springs eternal and a “pure-hearted invitation” posted in the window seeks a foreigner with bar experience and contacts with local social groups. / Over the last few successive issues, I have written about how my all-time favorite Beijing bar First Cafe went from closing to being chai’d to being site of a garden. The latest: The garden is gone and replaced by a pile of dirt fronted by a three-meter high fence. Is nothing sacred?

Email: “I think you may have saved me something in the region of 300 to 400 RMB by telling me how badly overpriced Face is. A girl I had a date with cheekily suggested the place! I counter-recommended the old Black Sun.” - JB

BB: Beijing Boyce is happy to help. Black Sun seems a rather extreme drop-off from Face, however, akin to skipping blue cheese martinis at Centro in favor of vodka and Red Bull at Kai Club or rejecting her suggestion of The Orchard for dinner and going instead to Steak and Eggs. There is middle ground and I recommend The Tree or Stone Boat as such. In any case, I hoped you kicked her butt at foosball!

Email: “I concur with the Stone Boat terrace option [mentioned in the last BB]. I went with two visitors for a wine ‘tasting’ on Saturday and the location is sublime.” - AH

BB: I was among the first people to hang out at Stone Boat (Amy and Jonathan era), not because I have a knack for finding new spots, but because former that’s Beijing Cai Guy and current ASC Fine Wines Guy Perri Dong introduced me to it. I was new to town and, given chilly nights and stressful days, Stone Boat was a warm and relaxed retreat from reality. It helped that I was in “tourist” mode, thus making a sedate Qing Dynasty-style teahouse set on a pond in a park in the center of a morphing world capital of fifteen million seem pretty cool. The Stone Boat also had (and has) wireless. However, those were the heydays of First Café. In The Legendary Battle for Beijing Boyce’s Liver, George and Echo’s martinis routed Stone Boat’s hot chocolates. Thus, I traded caffeine-laced serenity for a shadowy interior, dizzying jazz and blues, and intoxicating vodka potions. Oh, how young and reckless was I then!

Email: “This is the best place in Beijing.” – PA (sitting beside me in The Bookworm)

BB: The Bookworm has top-notch seminars, an excellent selection of food and drink, and a pleasant rooftop garden, but to be “the best” requires a crucial step: hiring me as a security guard with total discretion as to which patrons to bounce down that long flight of stairs. Take last night, when the woman across from me verbally galloped for an hour at high volume and with a voice reminiscent of a squeaky door. Bounce. Take last week, when two lovebirds sat in front of me and shared a toasted sandwich that they ate with mouths open, molars revealed and masticated tomatoes, cheese and bacon visibly and audibly on churning display. Bounce and bounce. Take the people who avoid sneezing on their own laptop screens and instead send the mist toward yours, who scream “Wei!” into a cell phone a half-dozen times, or who for hours lightly sing, hum or tap out with their pencil some annoying Black Eyed Peas’ song. Bounce, bounce and bounce. Thus, PA, until justice reigns – and service is more consistent – The Bookworm will only be “one of the best.”

Email: “This is Alex (the former American bartender at Phil’s)… I’ll be coming back to Beijing soon but I’m not too sure when. I’ll keep you informed.” – AK

BB: To those who missed it, Alex suddenly showed up at Phil’s earlier this year and for a few months helped Sally whip up cheap but good drinks. He also wore the diplomat’s hat and quelled rowdier patrons, making him a nice addition to a nice pub. Let’s hope he has time to mix a few cocktails at Phil’s when he returns to our fair city.

Email: “I always read your newsletter, but I too find it difficult with that font. Can you change it to Arial narrow perhaps?” - PM

BB: You got it. Ladies, Gentlemen and Barbarians, this issue of Beijing Boyce sports this fall’s most fashionable font - Arial narrow.

These are the nights to enjoy a drink on a rooftop, deck or patio, and my favorite spots remain Pavillion and Stone Boat Cafe, with other good options being Drum and Bell, Frank’s Place and Q Bar. Remember, our lungs filter pollution from this city’s air and a strong collective outside drinking effort might allow us to spot a star or two some evening. (Note: Pavillion offers the added flashback value of hearing Wham!, Huey Lewis, The Vapors and Jackson Browne within an hour.) / John Bull Pub, run by legendary bar proprietor Frank Siegel, is saying toodleloo London and hello Houston as it transforms into a Texas BBQ joint (see “We Got Email” / Zing by Doodoo, an esteemed member of the Bad Bar Name Hall of Fame, is also changing identities and will reemerge as Thai restaurant Serve the People, which is hardly a better name given that it evokes cannibalism. / 49 kuai for a pint of Carlsberg at Face. Ouch! / The Bookworm celebrated its one-year anniversary yesterday. With tasty food, interesting lectures, live music, plenty of books for sale or loan, and an extensive beverage menu, this place has been a runaway success. Not surprisingly, its incredible popularity can make it tough for wireless seekers to get a seat, and that can mean occasional forays to Le Petit Gourmand or SPR Coffee. / Browns now serves “jungle juice” during Wednesday ladies’ nights, which means people may soon be swinging from the rafters as well as dancing on the bar. Speaking of Browns, the foam party two weekends ago saw bubbles upon bubbles for most of the night, but they had burst by Sunday brunch. The place was virtually empty, yet it took over 20 minutes to get a simple breakfast and the COFFEE MACHINE WAS BROKEN! “If this had been my first visit to Browns, I would never go back,” said a downright bitter and caffeine-withdrawn M-Dawg. / Nearby, The Loft has renamed itself Hot Loft. I have no punch line to do justice to this marketing brilliance. / Reader K.S. aka Killer Schoolmarm has spoken to the owner of recently chai’d The Big Easy and says the Louisiana-style hotspot will again grace our city, retaining the spirit of its original interior, but with a new outside look (more to come on this). / M-Dawg and I visited Q Bar two Saturdays ago and waited not only 15 minutes to order, but also 30 minutes in vain for our drinks. With parched throats, we went to Phil’s Pub and soon had Gin Tonics at one-third the cost. It seems to me that Q Bar is best when providing quality cocktails in a tranquil environment, which suggests a need to focus on speeding up drink delivery rather than on, say, hiring a DJ to play house music. Translation: I want my dry martini and John Lee Hooker! Fortunately, the drinks were coming fast and slightly furious during a visit earlier this week. / Speaking of which, Trevor and Kenn from Alternate Paradigm will slip into aprons and host an end-of-summer BBQ on Q Bar’s rooftop (September 23, 2 PM-late). Twenty-five kuai gets you a cheeseburger, two hot dogs, grilled veggies or six wings, all of which come with a baked potato. / Skipping back to Phil’s, I visited several times recently and rediscovered the joys of cheap but decent cocktails, 30-kuai Erdinger, and a friendly neighborhood pub atmosphere. Moreover, after a long stint in Qingdao , owner Phil is back and teamed up with Sally. My only recommendation for this place: vaporize the PlayStation console, or at least anyone using it. / The new branch of Raj held a party last Saturday night with the expected buffet of Indian food and traditional dancing. The rooftop is ideal for enjoying a few brew (from 15 kuai for Qingdao to 25 kuai for Kingfisher) or some wine (though those puny glasses have to go), before heading to nearby Bed or Drum and Bell. / The Stone Boat has upgraded its wine and cocktail menu over the past year and credit goes to Amy and Jonathan. The Martini and Mojito are better, though the latter is still light on alcohol, and it is nice to enjoy wine in a proper glass in such a relaxing spot.

(From Beijing Boyce XXIV, first emailed on September 21, 2006)

When Sanlitun South was razed last year for redevelopment - incidentally, nary a single foundation has been laid on that plot of land where two-meter high weeds now stand guard - some thought the area drinking scene had taken a mortal blow. Instead, it turned out to be the one step backward that precedes the two steps forward in the creative destruction process, and Sanlitun has emerged stronger and more diverse than ever. True, that main northern strip features too many sub-par copycat bars and all of the associated promoters, beggars, fake CD sellers and lady bar touts that come with it. And there have been some disturbing reports of bouncer behavior. But there are also numerous bar and restaurant investors targeting new niche markets, offering more choice and raising service standards, particularly along the new south street and near Tongli Studio in the northwest. Whether it’s Browns, The Bookworm, Alameda, The Tree, Q Bar or others, Sanlitun offers some “best of the best” in the city. Here are ten highlights, from its far north to its deep south:

1. The Tree — Arguably the best pizza in town, nicely washed down with Belgian beer.

2. Cheers — A simple and unpretentious bar with an excellent happy hour (10-kuai Qingdao drafts before 10 PM) and live Xinjiang music.

3. Top Club / Bar Blu — Comfy rooftop decks up top and dance floors down below.

4. Le Petit Gourmand — Kick back, have a beer and read a few books.

5. Alameda — A Brazilian barbecue joint picked by that’s Beijing and City Weekend readers as the city’s best restaurant.

6. The Bookworm — Kick back again, this time glass of wine in hand, and read some more books in the high-ceilinged downstairs or on the rooftop garden.

7. Browns — Good pub grub, good draft beer selection, good place to lose your inhibitions and do some bar top dancing.

8. Modern Nomads — Enjoy throat singing while sipping the best (er, only) Chingis martinis in town.

9. Beer Mania — An excellent combination of mostly Belgian beers and quality cocktails (Mojito, Long Island) in a laid-back atmosphere.

10. Q Bar — The most consistent high-quality cocktails in town and a spacious deck to boot.

Throw in other northern spots such as Saddle (good burritos), Apertivo (good people watching) and Jazz-Ya (good Long Islands), southern ones such as Salsa Caribe, Banana Leaf and Phil’s Pub (good 10-kuai Gin Tonics), nearby establishments such as The Pavillion, Alfa and Yugong Yishan, and more clubs than you can shake a stick at on Gongti west and north, and Sanlitun not only did not take a mortal blow last year, but is living proof of the saying, “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”

(From Beijing Boyce XX, first emailed on July 13, 2006)

that’s Beijing announces its annual bars and clubs awards tonight. Below, in capital letters, are the places I think deserve to win (all in my extremely humble opinion, of course).

Hotel Bar

I usually frequent hotel bars for work-related reasons and have to give Centro credit: there is always a decent number of people, usually decent martinis and sometimes decent live jazz. In terms of slickness, it’s about as dependable as Beijing bars get. Expect this category to be much more crowded next year with new bars in the Crowne Plaza, Hilton and other hotels competing against older ones such as Centro, Hyatt’s Redmoon and Shangri La’s Cloud Nine.

Bar Snacks

Saddle (burritos) and Fish Nation (our fine-finned friend with chips) both offer good filler in Sanlitun north, Bellagio has the Taiwanese angle covered, Cafe Pause, while technically not a bar, has tasty snacks up in the 798 Art District, and there are innumerable kebab stands where night owls may bulk up on meat and fat, not to mention a week’s worth of salt. Decent eats these are all, but I’m giving a slight edge to two places: Mojito, which despite it’s somewhat car-park like feel offers up the super tasty Mexican hamburger, and The Den, which pumps out the pizza and deep-fried goodies 24/7.

Place to Dance

A few years ago I did the White Man Shuffle as well as any endomorph. Alack and alas, I have now regressed to a mere wiggle, usually in the shadows, and what could be more ideal than a place where everyone else’s eyes are glued to the writhers busting moves on the bar top. The award thus goes to Browns, with honorable mentions to Suzie Wong’s and Maggie’s.

Cheap drinks

Phil’s Pub: A standout among the plethora of 10-kuai drink joints, with friendly owners, a decent layout and better-than-average drinks, not to mention a convenient location just 200 yards from my apartment (how selfish). Plus, the place lets patrons order in kebabs.

People Watching

Apertivo, No-name Bar, Centro, Maggie’s and numerous other places all merit mention in this tough category, but if a winner must be named, and if it counts as a bar, this award goes to The Bookworm, where you can not only scope out the patrons, but also overhear phone calls and conversations, discover a potential mate’s reading preferences (“Dan Brown? Next!“), and see if their caffeine fix comes from lattes, Diet Cokes or Irish coffees. (Yes, yes, The Bookworm is not exactly a bar or club, but they do sell ample quantities of beer, wine and cocktails, and besides, that’s Beijing has the place listed on its ballot, so blame them!)

Happy Hour

Centro offers great high-end value with their two-for-one cocktails, Beer Mania has 500 ML of Belgian draft for 40 kuai and discounted bottled Belgian Beer until 8 PM, The Den offers two-for-one pizza and beer, and Cheers pours two Wild Turkey shots for 30 RMB until 10 PM. What makes a happy hour superior depends on where you feel comfortable and what you like to drink, and the places all above excel in their own ways, so this is a four-way tie.

Best Outdoor

Another tough category, with contenders such as Bar Blu and Top Club (nice rooftops, same building), Q Bar (an even bigger rooftop, though the chairs are a bit hard), Hai Bar (a dark horse that offers cheap beers and views of Houhai on one side and the drum and bell towers on the other), Nuage (the same views, but fancier decor and higher prices), Suzie Wong’s (a nice getaway from the crowds inside, plus some of the best plastic plants in town), and The Pomegranate (for those in Shunyi). But the best of the bunch are Stone Boat, a small Qing-dynasty era spot set on a pond surrounded by trees and rocks in central Beijing‘s Ritan Park, and The Pavillion, with a lovely backyard made extremely cozy with comfortable wicker seating, elegant trees, and mellow lighting.

Business Networking

For drawing a diverse crowd that includes business executives, English teachers, homemakers, writers, MBA students and most everyone else, the award should go The Bookworm. There is no place, except perhaps for First Cafe last year, where I have made more connections.

Best Place for a Date

Le Cafe Igosso: Above-average food and a good wine list in a low-pressure atmosphere. If you’re looking at a Sunday afternoon, rather than a weekday dinner, then it’s No Name Bar. And if it’s an evening drink, rather than a meal, try the Q Bar, although going through that somewhat seedy hotel in which it is located might send some messages (possibly wanted, possibly not) to your significant other.

Student Hangout

The Loo: A bar that is long-closed and from another lifetime (not to mention another country). For this category, I’ll make like a soccer player and pass.

Best Beer

Browns, for its draft selection (including recent additions Stella Artois and Beck’s), and Beer Mania for its wide range of bottled Belgian beers and its Belgian draft.

Best Cocktails

This depends more on the bartenders than the establishments. I’ve had solid drinks at Centro, great mint-based cocktails at Garden of Delights, and some good but cheap beverages, courtesy of Sally and Alex at Phil’s Pub. I also remember tasty cocktails at Alfa, Jazz Ya, Browns (hit and miss), 5:19, The Big Easy, and places too numerous to mention. But in the end, only one place consistently pumps out a wide range of high-quality drinks, and thus the award goes to George Zhou and Echo Sun at Q Bar.

Bar of the Year

This bar has raised its beer prices, lost key staff, struggled with its interior decorating, dealt with DJ turmoil, faced numerous other challenges and, despite it all, had a greater impact on Beijing’s drinking scene than any other establishment in the past year. This bar has exerted influence because it consistently provides good clean fun, because it scores well in terms of design, atmosphere, food and beer selection, and because it is frequented by a sizeable number of the city’s bar owners, managers and employees. Love it or hate it, this bar has firmly planted itself in the party landscape, providing not only great value for patrons, but also food for thought for those in the industry, and this combination should earn it the bar of the year award. This bar is Browns.

(From Beijing Boyce XX, first emailed on July 13, 2006)

Here are (mostly) brief write-ups on the various venues at which I’ve watched World Cup games.

BROWNS

Germany vs. Costa Rica: This place was wild during the game and the party rocked on afterwards as the (mostly German) fans made ample use of the beer taps and the bar top. The usually empty back room was packed with chairs, tables and patrons. Browns has three huge screens and plenty of small ones, has recently added Beck’s and Stella Artois to its draft beer selection, and gives out handy World Cup schedules. I’ve generally heard good reports from readers about this place.

THE PAVILLION

Serbia and Montenegro vs. Netherlands: The front end of what is arguably the best patio in town was fairly full, with a handful of people inside. The food was limited to a BBQ buffet, which was disappointing, because I had been craving nachos on the way over. Qingdao was on special. The Pavillion has two big projection screens outside and ample smaller screens inside. It’s one of the more relaxing places in town, though I’ve heard mixed reviews about the service.

THE DEN

Iran vs. Mexico: The tasty four-cheese pizza and cold Qingdao was offset by loud dance music (Ace of Base anyone?), which meant no commentary, which helps explain why the place was nearly empty, which was unfortunate as this was a great game. The service was good.

BEER MANIA

England vs. Paraguay: A bit smaller and more subdued than the average venue, this is a cozy place to watch games while quaffing Delirium Tremors (both blond and dark). The owners recently installed a decent-sized projection screen, though I unfortunately caught what was arguably the most game so far on it.

JOHN BULL PUB

Australia vs. Japan: While a small group watched the small bar-side TV upstairs, a handful of us waited by the big screen as two employees futilely tried to get the projector working. I spent 15 minutes watching as they flicked buttons, a waitress shrugged her shoulders and a rough-looking patron yelled about “Dongbei ren” at his acquaintance, then gave myself a red card and left.

W SPORTS BAR

Australia vs. Japan: About 50 boisterous Australian fans were enjoying, on two big screens, a late rally and win by their team (Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oy, oy, oy!). The staff here can handle a bottle opener, but don’t think of asking anything as complicated as, “Is there a World Cup special?” As the only Swedish bar in town, W sends emails calling those from the land of ABBA for their home games.

PHIL’S PUB

South Korea vs. Togo: The number of teams playing in this game, two, was equal to the number of patrons at the bar. It was me and M-Dawg, and his presence had less to do with watching football (Chinese commentary), than with Phil’s letting us to order yangrou chuar from next door. That didn’t stop M-Dawg, who has a friend from Togo, from positing that football is the primitive forerunner of basketball. “At one point, thousands of years ago, a player decided to pick up the ball and throw it into the net, but they found that was too easy, so they made the net smaller and put it into the air, and that’s how we got basketball.” Perhaps, in light of this (voiced) theory, the lack of patrons / football fans was fortuitous.

THE PAVILLION

Spain vs. Ukraine: I went there for work-related reasons and stuck around for the game. The patio was half-full, with seats at the picnic tables available, and the barbecue sizzling away. Pavillion has set up a temporary bar, with four or five draft taps, outside.

FRANK’S PLACE

Ecuador vs. Costa Rica: A friend and I popped into the reincarnation of Beijing’s oldest non-hotel bar. He was impressed with the live guitarist before the game (tunes ranging from Neil Young’s “Harvest Moon” to John Lennon’s “Jealous Guy”), the screen on the sparsely populated deck out back (”If you could accuse that screen of anything, you could say you’ve never seen such a clear projection“) and the deck itself (”awesome”). And rather than whisking away my glass and its last swig, as is so common, the waiter asked if I had finished it. Nice.

Unfortunately, this was the exception rather than the rule. The staff didn’t know the price of the special (BBQ plus one Carlsberg for 60 kuai) and first forgot our beer, then our food, then our utensils. They took my after-dinner drink order but not my friend’s, charged us for a Guinness we didn’t drink, wrongly recalculated our bill, and forgot my receipt. As for the drinks, my friend’s two Whisky Sodas looked and tasted completely different, and my Martini came with a massive lemon slice on the rim (!), though the Long Island was decent.

This first experience of the fully functioning Frank’s was slightly surprising given the bar’s team of expatriate employees, numerous investors with Beijing bar scene knowledge, and seemingly eager local employees, including a number plucked from Browns. Several readers have cited similar service problems, though I’ve also indirectly heard that Frank’s is a great place to watch the World Cup, especially since there are eight TVs inside in addition to the one out back (there is also a two-for-one special on Heineken). This is still a nice place to watch games and let’s hope they get the kinks worked out with service soon.

RITAN PARK CENTRAL COMPOUND

England vs. Trinidad and Tobago: I envisioned a garbage-strewn field surrounded by pungent portable toilets, but instead found the one must-visit venue for World Cup viewing. The games are shown in the central compound, on the altar once used for sacrifices to the Sun god, where two big screens are mounted. One has English commentary and the other Chinese commentary, making it amusing as those watching the latter wait in anticipation every time they hear the cheers and groans of those watching the former. The compound is surrounded by circular walls, adorned with Chinese carvings, surrounded by trees. Call it a giant yurt with the top down. There is plenty of seating, all the Qingdao (15 kuai) you could want, and Mojitos (25 kuai), Espresso (around 15 kuai), pizza and more from Havana Light. The only drawbacks: the toilets are, in fact, a bit gross, and by the time the final game ends, the sun is up and it’s hard to see the screens. The entry fee is 30 kuai and includes one beer. An added benefit is that you can pop over to Stone Boat in the late evening for some great live music.

BEER MANIA

Argentina vs. Serbia and Montenegro: I arrived with Argentina winning 3-0 and before I finished my beer and my ham and cheese sandwich, it was 6-0. If anyone’s team is ahead and needs insurance goals, I’m willing to stop by and provide my luck, in exchange for pints and snacks.

RITAN PARK CENTRAL COMPOUND

Ghana vs. Czech; Italy vs. U.S.: What a great place to witness the fastest-paced and arguably most exciting game so far, as Ghana won its first World Cup match by knocking off the highly ranked Czech team, 2-0. They now need to beat the U.S., which put up a ferocious battle against Italy, and benefited greatly from that country’s own goal. Three red cards, a bloodied face, and a futile Italian corner kick in each of the final five minutes. Great games, great location, great fun.

BROWNS

Japan vs. Croatia: Browns is simply a fun place to watch the game, given its good beer selection, tasty food and good layout. This is one place that does not have to be full to have a lot of energy in the air. The big group of Japanese fans beside me had a great time, although I think some of them had ulcers after that tight game, and as they headed out, the Brazilians flowed in, as Browns is apparently their World Cup home base (witness the huge flag on the east wall). This place is probably your best bet if you’re looking for a crowd.

BEER MANIA

Brazil vs. Australia: It was on the way home! There were more people sitting out in front (five) than inside watching the game (three), with Chinese commentary, but who cares when you are watching a valiant effort by Australia and sipping a Caipirinha made by manager Marc.

JOHN BULL PUB

Mexico vs. Portugal: What a difference a quesadilla makes! John Bull Pub has been serving up authentic Mexican food on Fridays and Saturdays and did it again for this Wednesday night game. The result: tasty food and lots of people. Good time all around.

(From Beijing Boyce XIX, first emailed on June 21, 2006)

Ex-First Cafe, ex-Midnight bartenders George Zhou and Echo Sun will launch Q Bar on Sanlitun North, near Beer Mania, with the soft opening due in early May. Backed by foreign investors, Q Bar will focus on — no surprise — cocktails and have outdoor seating. / Based on a dozen pass-bys, Midnight has seen a huge drop in business since losing its bartenders a month ago in a debacle that, on one hand, has been a lose-lose-lose situation for the owners, staff and customers, and on the other hand, business as usual in Beijing. / Meanwhile, First Cafe, my favorite bar from late 2004 to summer 2005, has gone from being the city’s best-kept secret to an overpriced drinking hole. The cozy ambience no longer compensates for the anemic Bloody Mary (40 kuai) and passable Gin and Tonic (50 kuai), unless one has an excess of money and a dearth of taste. If you go, eschew the cocktails for beer and shots. / Speaking of which, the cost of a Gin and Tonic, using Bombay Sapphire, at four places last Saturday night: Phil’s Pub, 20; icehouse, 40; First Cafe, 50; Champagne, 55.2 (yes, they actually charge miao). Phil’s offers great value; icehouse and Champagne feature bands (the former’s is particularly good), and First Cafe has some atmosphere and, uh, a sit-down toilet. / Mint shortage! Pavillion was out two weeks ago, Champagne and icehouse last Saturday, and Mexican Wave last Sunday, the latter denying Agent Red Wolf a taste of its Mojito just hours before she finalized her top-five list (see below). Is this a niche market for an herb entrepreneur or do bars simply find the Mojito too time-consuming to make? / ASC Fine Wines is celebrating its tenth anniversary. It’s been a decade for Don St. Pierre, Sr. and crew, and they are the team to beat when it comes to wine distribution in China . See Closing Shots for their celebratory wine and Riedel glass special. / The Big Easy is on the chai-ing block and April looks to be its last stand. Catch a final Bloody Mary on the veranda at one of Beijing ’s landmark bars. / From Margaritas to Martinis, drinks are free for the ladies at Browns after 9 PM on Wednesdays. The downside: the gentlemen sometimes find their orders — those would be the drinks on which the bar MAKES money — backlogged behind 20 cocktails, even for something as simple as Whisky shots. / The Timeout readers’ party last Thursday at icehouse was packed and the band was rocking. The place was also hopping last Saturday night. That long hallway is still creepy and reminds me of “The Cask of Amontillado” (BYOT — Bring Your Own Trowel). / A Molinari Sambuca launch party was held in Beijing last Thursday at the ” European-style Conference Center ” in Chaoyang Park (thanks to SF for the invite). I found the cocktails either too sweet or too light, and instead took my Sambuca straight, which helped numb me toward the painfully bad presentation and foreign poseurs. Listening to three (translated) speeches was bearable, but pity the (Italian?) reps brought on stage some five times over ninety minutes, with almost everyone oblivious to them. And the following words, unless uttered for amusement purposes, should never start a speech at an alcohol launch: “In the course of human development…” By the way, these foreigners with weird glasses (i.e. primary blue with gold sparkles) and/or un-tucked designer dress shirts and/or the hair that’s supposed to look stylish but is more reminiscent of a bad mousse day and/or the “I’m a socialite in China, even though I’d be lucky to be runner up back home in a KFC assistant manager hiring campaign” attitude — where do they rent them? Uh oh, stop me, stop me… uh oh… I’m going… into… oh, no… day… dream… mode…

[I’m beside a guy wearing black heavy-rimmed glasses with mother-of-pearl inlay. His head is weighed down with mousse; he wears a neatly un-tucked dress shirt. When I first spoke to him, he gave me a look that said: “I’m in a charitable mood, so I will allow you to humor me.” We have just exchanged “pleasantries.”]

Me: “So, what do you do in Beijing ?” [Yes, that’s a terrible question.]

Him: “What DON’T I do? Let’s just say that I’m in consulting.”

“Are you in any particular field?”

“Actually, I’m talented in numerous areas, but I guess if I had to pick one, I’d say communications.”

“That sounds, uh, extremely difficult.”

[My rapt attention has warmed him up. He re-untucks his shirt and continues.]

“Yes, it’s quite hard. I spend a lot of time on research, academic stuff, with a focus on a younger demographic. I’d hazard to call it leading edge, you know?”

[I nod, faux awe radiating outwards.]

“It’s very proactive. I get a chance to learn about them, they get a chance to learn about me; it’s the cross-cultural exchange I find so rewarding.”

“Hang on! You wouldn’t be consulting in ‘education,’ would you?”

“Uh, as I said, I think my field is best described as communications…”

“Hey, are you teaching English to kids!?”

With this, my “speaking partner,” as they say in his field, suddenly needs to refresh his drink.

This exchange is an exaggeration, of course, but there are a lot of poseurs out there. I recommend that expatriates ask themselves at least once a month: if I suddenly had to return home, what kind of job could I get? For the vast majority of us, the answer is humbling. [By the way, I’m not criticizing English teachers, as many are hardworking and dedicated, and many of the most successful people I know were English teachers at one time, so please save the hate e-mail, even though it would probably have fewer spelling mistakes than most of the stuff I get. Actually, I don’t even want to criticize poseurs, either. Please DON’T start tucking in your shirts! Enjoy it while it lasts, and remember, this was all just a daydream. Now, back to opening shots…]

The Pavillion has moved its furniture about, printed new menus, and dropped the price on drinks, or at least on Long Islands . When I visited two weeks ago, the proprietor Russell Probert kindly treated me to a beer and said work was about to begin out back, where a Mediterranean restaurant will be added and landscaping done. / Le Petit Gourmand’s new sundeck is, by all reports, very cozy. Since my “live bug falling out of Parmesan can and onto pizza” incident earlier this year, I’ve only been back once and stuck to the high-value lattes — big mug, 15 kuai. / I went to Saddle and ordered the large burrito (50 kuai; didn’t the same size used to be 35 kuai?). The waitress leaned against the counter, loudly chewed her gum (mouth wide open) and cow-stared as I ate my meal. Not comfortable. The music, which included John Cougar and Ram Jam, was good. / Last week, I reported that Trio will soon open across from the Lido Hotel. It’s actually the Rosedale Hotel. / Cafe Pause will apparently change its menu — again. The blue cheese and spinach dumplings with pesto sauce were fantastic, everyone loved them, and I was annoyed they were no longer available when I recently hiked all the way to Dashanzi. Consistency, especially with the good things in life (like blue cheese dumplings), is a virtue. / I really enjoy the unpretentious patrons and atmosphere at Modern Nomads. Simply put, it’s a fun to place to kick back for an hour, sip a Mongolian vodka martini and watch live throat singing and pop music.