Beijing Boyce

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Any visitor to Mao Mao Chong has probably seen the song lyric painted above the bar by owner Stephen Rocard. Well, the times they are a-changin’, and so is that lyric, and we are looking for suggestions as to what should go up next.

Maybe it should be “She’s filing her nails while they’re dragging the lake” from “Watching the Detectives” by Elvis Costello, or “And the whole damn place goes crazy twice / And it’s once for the devil and once for Christ” from “Closing Time” by Leonard Cohen, or even “Mix-a-Lot’s in trouble / Beggin’ for a piece of that bubble” from “Baby Got Back“?

Well, perhaps none of those. But let us know in the comments section what you think should go in that space and you have the chance to win two prizes. First, the pride of walking into Mao Mao Chong and seeing your recommended line on the wall. (Imagine being on a date and saying, “Look up there. See that ‘And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh / Like baby, baby, baby, no / Like baby, baby, baby, oh’? That’s mine!”). Second, a bottle of Martin Miller’s gin, originally donated by Liquid Luxury and won in the Charlie Sheen Celebrity Pub Crawl by Euclid, who “paid it forward”.

Leave your entry / entries by 5 PM on November 1 and we’ll select a winner. And if you would like your favorite song lyrics hanging above your bed, desk, sofa or jacuzzi, talk to Rocard about commissioning a piece.

Lovers in a dangerous time.

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Mao Mao Chong will do some early spring cleaning and creating this Thursday, March 24, when it not only auctions off the six pieces of art that adorn its walls and were created by co-owner Stephen Rocard but also have the 16 prospective drinks for its spring menu — 14 alcoholic, 2 nonalcoholic — on special at RMB30 each.

As for the auction, the bidding starts at RMB100 per piece at 10 PM. As for the drinks, I tried a few over the weekend and if you like slightly spicy drinks you might want to try the Scarlett Martini, made with roasted red bell pepper infused gin. I also enjoyed the refreshing Spring Fling.

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Lots of new drinks to try.

This is part eleven in the Must Tries Series that asks people in the Beijing bar, restaurant, and wine business to give us their recommendations. This time up: Stephen Rocard and Stephanie Zhou of Mao Mao Chong, which is known for its creative cocktails, pizzas, and arty interior.

Who are those masked bar owners?

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What is the “must try” drink at Mao Mao Chong?

We have a few must tries at Mao Mao Chong but since it’s winter and bloody cold out we’ll suggest our Adult Chai (RMB40). Homemade chai spiced up with a naughty shot of Mao Mao Chong cinnamon infused vodka. You have to try it, it’s delicious. We infuse the vodka and make the chai blend ourselves. We don’t use packet chai or chai powder which is what makes it special.

What is the “must try” food at Mao Mao Chong?

Well, we only serve pizza and peanuts at Mao Mao Chong so let’s say pizza. Our favorite is the The Peasant Pizza (RMB60): tomato, mozzarella, roasted eggplant, pesto, and parmigiano. We keep it simple, use fresh ingredients, and put our heart and soul into all our pizzas.

What are three “must try” foods and drinks at other Beijing venues?

Xian Lao Man (Andingmennei Dajie) is where we always take our visitors for dumplings. The “fullest” and some of the best jiaozi in the Jing.

Capital M (Qianmen): Their pavlova is to die for. An iconic Australian dessert done to perfection.

Esquires Coffee (CityMall, Liangmaqiao): New Zealand coffee chain putting Starbucks to shame, though that’s not difficult. Great coffee and their hot white chocolate is worth a try. It’s become a regular stop for us on our way to Sanyuanli market.

No Aussie stereotypes here. None at all. (famemagazine.com)

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Australia Day is again upon us–next Wednesday, January 26–and that means deals from the Vegemite Triangle of 12SQM, Ned’s, and Mao Mao Chong (see below for details). Rather than bringing out the same old tired Aussie lingo, stuff like “shrimp on the barbie“, “sink a few tinnies” and “bilby in the bottom paddock”, I decided to come up with my own….

“G’day fellow inmates! Get your yute warmers down to the Vegemite Triangle next Wednesday and go Irwin. It’ll be double dingo tickety boo. More fun than going back door on a bilby gone boinkers. Gander at the maps below so you don’t pull a Burke and Wills and end up face down in some gutter with a platypus named Matilda. And make sure you wear your koala beards because it’s going to be an eight dog night. Didgeridoo! (See translation below)

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The deal…

12SQM (map)

All imported beers, including Aussie brews Coopers, VB, and Boag’s, for RMB20, plus meat pies and Australian music (6 PM to 1 AM).

Ned’s (map)

Happy hour all day long as well as drink specials. VB at RMB20, Foster’s at RMB15, and snags [sausages] at RMB10, plus the Triple J music countdown.

Mao Mao Chong (map)

Select cocktails, Boag’s, Redback, Cascade, and Bundy and Coke for RMB25.

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The translation…

“G’day fellow inmates [friends]! Get your yute warmers [asses; "yute" refers to "utility vehicle"] down to the Vegemite Triangle next Wednesday and go Irwin [go wild, like Aussie legend Steve Irwin]. It’ll be double dingo tickety boo [enjoyable; well, as enjoyable as two dingos can be]. More fun than going back door on a bilby gone boinkers [not sure about this one but it sounds illegal]. Gander at this map, this map, and this map so you don’t pull a Burke and Wills [two explorers who got lost in the Australian "outback" and died] and end up face down in some gutter with a platypus named Matilda [make a bad decision as to a potential mating partner]. And make sure to wear your koala beards [ear muffs] because it’s also going to be an eight dog night ["three dog night" means so cold you need to use several live animals as blankets; "eight dog night" is even colder". Didgeridoo! [w00t!]

Enter my Aussie slang contest here and win Australian wine and Austrian wine glasses.

Can I haz infusion? (Photo: Mao Mao Chong)

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Mao Mao Chong wuz robbed.

Not only did it not rank among the world’s top 50 bars according to a Drinks International survey, neither did any drinking hole in China. Guess which places had the most top bars? Easy one. New York and London: what they lack in population, they make up for in drinking (if you believe the magazine) and a sense of self-importance (if you believe my alter ego Joyce Bim). Meanwhile, India took four spots, all of them ranked above the lone entry from Japan, because one would never associate Tokyo with quality bars, would one? And get this, there are four places named Buddha bar on the list: one each in Paris, Kiev, Dubai, and London. Maybe they are part of a chain.

At this point, I don’t care, I just wanted to eventually make the point that the tasty winter drinks menu is available at Mao Mao Chong.  I usually list one or two items from a menu, but screw it: I’m including all eight to make up for the oversight by Drinks International (ex-China).

• “Adult Chai: Our own homemade chai made with Indian black cardamon and fresh ginger spiced up with a naughty shot of Mao Mao Chong cinnamon infused vodka.”
• “The Dirty Boogie: A wonderfully rich mix of Bourbon, Cherry Brandy, Swiss Cocoa, Vietnamese Arabica Coffee and Sweet Milk.”
• “Old Gold: Big splash of Bacardi Black, rich Vietnamese coffee and topped with a scoop of Rum and Raison Ice cream.”
• “Mulled Wine: A smooth Chilean red warmed and spiced up with cinnamon, cloves, ginger, brown sugar and fresh orange.”
• “French toast: A delicious marriage of Advocaat, Rum, warm milk, cinnamon and honey.”
• “Cookie: A simply Luscious mix of Bailey’s, butterscotch schnapps, cinnamon schnapps and hot chocolate.”
• “Golden Lady: Amaretto warmed to perfection and mixed into orange juice with a cinnamon stick.”
• “Naughty Night Cap: Rich hot chocolate or Vietnamese coffee with your choice of Kahlua, Amaretto, Jamieson, or Bacardi Black.”

Mao Mao Chong is open evenings, 5:30 PM to midnight, except Tuesdays. So, as Wang Chung once put it: “Everybody have fun tonight / Everybody Mao Mao Chong tonight.” Or something like that. See the MMC drinks menu and the map. (If you don’t like maps, try this: turn down the alley beside Pass By Bar, walk about 300 meters, and you’ll eventually see a round sign on your right that says Mao Mao Chong.)

Vegemite Triangle bar Mao Mao Chong will hold an AFL Grand Final pre-party this Friday from 8 PM.

Wait, you ask, didn’t the Australian Football League hold its Grand Final last Saturday? Yes, but since it ended in a tie–known in Australia as a double dingo down under draw with a tickety boo twist*–the teams will play again this Saturday, a kind of final final, the first since 1977. (The extra game also means an extra 20 million Aussie dollars for the league, thank you very much.)

In any case, Stephen Rocard, who is co-owner of Mao Mao Chong and an Australian, says his place will hold a pre-party this Friday with RMB20 brew (James Boag’s and Cascade), RMB25 Bundaberg rum and Coke, and RMB45 Aussie pizzas (translation: it comes with a fried egg in the center). Rocard adds that Collingwood supports who wear the club’s colors will receive a free beer upon entry.

To get to Mao Mao Chong, see this map or take the alley beside Passby Bar and walk about 300 meters. You can also stock up on Cherry Ripe, Violet Crumble, and Vegemite here.

Finally, Frank’s Place hosted last week’s AFL party organized by AusCham and The Beijing Bombers. I expect quite a few of the more than 200 attendees will return for the rematch.

* Still confirming accuracy of this term.

If I were to list my top five watering holes in Beijing, as other people have kindly done, I would include Mao Mao Chong. I like the sloped ceiling, the artwork on the walls, the arrangement of the bar and seats to maximize the modest space and make it homey. I like that the story behind the place is written in brush strokes on the toilet walls. I like that the place has a toilet.

Most of all, I like the drinks. I don’t necessarily like the taste of all of them, and often find one flavor too dominant, but I like the inspiration behind them. I like that Mao Mao Chong infuses vodka and comes up with new cocktails, and does so without the snobbery or seriousness found elsewhere in town. And does it at reasonable prices. Along with Twilight, it is one of my favorite places to try cocktails. (And Mao Mao Chong also has more than a dozen kinds of pizza.)

Given that Mao Mao Chong means caterpillar, it is a natural place to start a pub crawl, so Mr Hao, Ms Hao, and I stopped in on Wednesday night to try the mid-week RMB25 cocktail special. (You can find most of the following cocktails and their ingredients listed here on the Mao Mao Chong website. See here for a map*.)

Lady Boy

Mao Mao Chong: “A wonderfully clean fusion of Mao Mao Chong kaffir lime and ginger infused vodkas, fresh lime, cubed ice and soda.”

Me: This is a decent summer drink, though I found it a bit too light and lemon-y at the end. I lost the vote as a table of ~10 people nearby ordered about a half-dozen rounds of these.

Walk the Plank

MMC: “Spiced Rum, Rooibus Infused Vodka, Cinnamon, Angostura and lime juice served with ice and a sugarcane swizzle.”

Mr Hao: “Very rum-esque.” Agree: Full-on rum in this one.

Chong Collins

MMC: I didn’t see it listed on the website, but it includes gin, lemon grass-infused vodka, lemon juice, soda, and coriander.

Mr Hao: “Good, but I took out the coriander because it was too strong.”

Jing Fling

MMC: “Local Baijiu, sour plum juice, sour plum infused vodka and cinnamon infused vodka stirred with anise. Simply the smoothest and best local cocktail in town.”

Me: Smells and tastes like baijiu and plum, that is, it doesn’t mask this spirit. It’s worth a try.

Bloody Mary

MMC: “Double shot of Vodka with Mao Mao Chong’s secret blend of spices combined with tomato and lemon juices, ice and all the spicy extras.”

Me: Delicious. Includes basil-infused and chili-infused vodka, Worschestire sauce, celery salt, and more. My favorite drink of the night by far. I could easily down a half-dozen.

And there was one drink I think was called the Mala Mojito that had a sharp black pepper edge. Ms Hao did not like that one, but Mr Hao and I managed to polish it off.

Mao Mao Chong is open Wednesday to Monday (closed Tuesday), 5:30 PM to late. The best beer deal is Samuel Adams at RMB20. Jars of Vegemite are for sale in two sizes. (Said Mr Hao: “I could win a contest for a lifetime supply of Vegeimte and this little jar would still be 80 percent too much.”)

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See also:

• Hidden gems and happy hours: My picks as Beijing’s best bars
• Down Under Contest: Free drinks at 12SQM, Ned’s, Mao Mao Chong
• Beijing Billabong Bar Crawl: 12sqm, Ned’s, Mao Mao Chong
• Australia Day: The Ned’s, 12sqm, Mao Mao Chong pub crawl, plus more

But can he save The World Cup? Unlikely...

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Saturday night will feature the most anticipated World Cup match yet — Australia vs Ghana.

Can the Koala Kissers from Down Under beat the Black Stars? Given that Ghana’s best player is out, I suppose a slight possibility now exists that those prawn-barbecuing, Tim Tam-munching, vegemite-spreading oi oi oi-ers could win this one.

That makes it a good time for Aussie fans to head to Nanluoguxiang and patronize the Beijing Billabong / Vegemite Triangle. Both Ned’s and 12SQM will show the match, while at Mao Mao Chong they can eat Cherry Ripe to their Les Patterson-loving, platypus-poking, Bundaberg-guzzling hearts’ content. (I could add something about dingos, but I think my point has been made.)*

In case it isn’t obvious, I will be cheering for Ghana. And I will be wearing a GongTees shirt with the crest of that nation, a shirt I bought on Wednesday night at Paddy O’Shea’s with a 100-kuai note that looked like I blew my nose into but in reality only suffered from pocket sweat. Memorable moment. Anyway, click here for info about how to get your own shirt…

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* For the record, I like prawns, Les Patterson, and Tim Tam, have never seen let alone touched a platypus, think Bundaberg Rum would be useful for unclogging toilets, and believe the best use of Vegemite is to plug that oil-gushing hole in the Gulf of Mexico.

Paul Mathew at work

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One of my favorite things to discuss is which Beijing bars are best in terms of staff or service or atmosphere or cocktails or whatever. Which is why one of my favorite features on this blog is top five lists by other people. It has been a while since the last top one, but fortunately Paul Matthew–who not only enjoys a cocktail or two, but also is skilled at making them–agreed to share his picks. Mathew is a bar consultant, author of the Blood and Sand site, and co-owner of The Hide Bar in London. His top five…

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“As a new father I’m getting out to bars far less than I used to. When I do, I’m more and more particular about where I go. I’ve always been of the opinion that you should drink better things, not necessarily more of them, it’s just now been focused. In the time available, I want to drink something made with care and attention where there are interesting people to watch and the service is good. Plenty of places have two out of three, but the full Monty can be hard to come by in Beijing. Hotel bars, for example, often have the well-made drinks and great service, but the clientele can be a little on the dull/professional side. Other venues offer a fantastic environment in which to observe the Beijinger in his or her natural environment, but getting a (dodgy) drink is like getting blood from a stone.

“My favourites loosely fall into three categories. First, the ‘academic’ bars. These are places that take their drinks seriously and follow proper protocol. No one does that better than the Japanese, so my first two would be Twilight and Glen. The former for cocktails and the latter for whisky. Twilight manages to be particular about its recipes and ingredients, hand ‘sourcing’ some of the world’s best spirits, and making things they can’t get hold of. As well as being particular, the drinks list is accessible, with a selection that non-cocktail-drinking friends have applauded. Glen, on the other hand, feels like a professional’s drinking den. Sitting at the bar appeals to my inner spirit geek, and the space is so small that you feel like you’re part of everyone’s conversation, even if it is in Japanese. Falling into this category but just not making the cut would be Apothecary and Ichikura. It does make me wonder why all the best cocktail bars are Japanese though, given Europe and North America’s history and current fascination with the cocktail (and manufacture of most of the ingredients). Maybe that’s to come in Beijing Version 2010.2.

“My second category would be the more laid-back venues that I would consider letting my hair down in (if I had enough with which to do so that is). Fubar and Mao Mao Chong both get this spot on but in different ways I think. I don’t often head to Fubar until later in the evening (and compared to Mr Boyce, I could hardly be described as a regular), but whenever I’ve been there, the service has been great, the drinks good and, most of all, the atmosphere welcoming. This is helped in no small way by the staff apparently enjoying their jobs – a seemingly difficult thing to achieve in most of Beijing’s service industry. Mao Mao Chong on the other hand, I would consider going to at any point of the evening, or day if it were open. OK, the cocktails aren’t the carefully recreated classics, but they’re accessible, interesting, and served alongside great beers and pizza. The space is just great, too, and feels as friendly as anywhere I’ve been, with the added bonus of an artistic edge.

“Finally, I’ve gone work-related at the Bookworm. For that deadline that just has to be hit, even if it’s eating into drinking time, the Bookworm offers a great atmosphere that’s conducive to thinking. Service is great, beer good and patrons interesting enough to distract you from time to time. When the deadline’s hit, there’s a good and reasonably priced selection of wine available with which to celebrate.”

Happy Down Under Day, eh?

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G’day mates, it’s nearly that day on the calender when those hailing from The Land Down Under jump in the yute, head to the outback, put a shrimp prawn on the barbie, sink a few tinnies, and have a chinwag — and, yes, I’m letting loose with my antipodean vocabulary because that’s the kind of sensitivity Canadians are all aboot, eh?

Australia’s national day is tomorrow, January 26, and one way to celebrate is with a mini pub crawl to three Aussie-run spots within a boomerang’s throw of each other in the Nanluoguxiang area — a tour I undertook last Friday night with Mr Hao and Ms Hao.

Ned’s: Now that 12sqm has expanded, this might rank as the smallest, or at least the smallest Australian-run, joint on the street. The place can get as crowded as a bunch of kangaroos loose in the top paddock — hope I’m using that term right — and there is a decent selection of bevvies. The lads plan to be open from noon, with happy hour prices all day, meat pies, the Pakistan-Australia test match, and the top 100 song countdown on Triple J.

The relaunched 12sqm now comes in a larger format for extra comfort and comradeship. The place has more than tripled in size by expanding into the back of the building thus making possible a three-sided bar and more lounge seating. For Australia Day, 12sqm not only has RMB15 bottles of Aussie brews, including Coopers, but also meat pies, vegemite on toast, Aussie tunes, and Bundaberg Rum — ask for a “Bundy and Coke.” Ms Hao enjoyed her White Russian here.

Mao Mao Chong is about 200 meters down the alley that is beside Pass By Bar. If you reach the public toilet and think you have gone too far: 1) you are only about halfway there; and 2) don’t use it because Mao Mao Chong has superior facilities, though like many other places there is a “no poo” rule.

This new bar impressed us due to the art created by one of the owners, friendliness of the managers, creativity behind the cocktails, and prices — Tsingtao is RMB13, Tiger is RMB16, and Sam Adams is RMB25, while sodas are RMB10 and mixed drinks start at RMB20. There is an intriguing winter menu with cool sounding drinks such as French Toast — Advocaat, rum, warm milk, cinnamon, and honey — at RMB30 to RMB35, and a regular cocktail list with creative concoctions such as Feng Shui — oolong-tea infused vodka, lychee liqueur, sake, lime, and sugar cane stick (this might be even better with slightly less liqueur).

Mao Mao Chong features its own infused vodkas, among other DIY items, with flavors such as ginger, lemongrass, and rooibos, a plant grown in South Africa and apparently a member of the legume family — Mr Hao described that one as “smooth and with a subtle tea-like flavor.” We were told to expect pizza on the menu the next time we visited. For national day, Mao Mao Chong will have James Boag’s, Redbuck, and VB, as well as its own stock of Bundy.

If you are looking for other ways to celebrate Australia’s national day, you might consider dropping into The Den, which offers the lowest regular price (RMB25) on a handful of Aussie beers (Crown, Cascade, et al), heading to Astral restaurant in the Tangla Hotel for a bite of emu, kangaroo, or crocodile, or ordering some beers from Dxcel or some wines from Aussie-run importers such as Gelipu or The Wine Republic — perhaps someone can find the perfect pairing for Tim Tams.

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See also:

• Australia Day: Sink a few tinnies in Beijing
• Australia Day II: Throw yet *another* shrimp on the barbie