Beijing Boyce

The Grouch says The Grouch likes snipers making Sazeracs.

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A special report by regular contributor The Village Grouch, who not only went on a Saturday night pub crawl, but also – in the spirit of wrestler The Rock, NBA star Karl Malone, and actor Kurt Russell as Jack Burton* in Big Trouble in Little China – refers to himself in the third person.

“The Village Grouch was out Saturday night in the company of intrepid combat photographer Slim, who just recently returned from the front.

“First stop was Apothecary (map) to see if the Boyce taste was still intact, and indeed it is. Apothecary is a class act – clean floor, good lighting, and bartenders that are snipers rather than machine gunners. Even in cold November, the mint julep was refreshing, striking a fine balance between taste and punch. TVG then ordered a house special, the Sazerac, which was a fine drink that sipped and sipped and sipped. Drinks aren’t cheap and pours aren’t generous, but TVG didn’t go to Apothecary for that and is looking forward to his next visit.

“A quick stop at Luga’s (map) found the place about half full, the beers cold and reasonably priced, and the nachos serviceable.

“Walking across the vast Sanlitun plateau through the Village and across to the stadium, we found Fubar (map) was wall-to-wall, with a pleasantly higher proportion of female patrons than in its earlier days. Chad kindly bought TVG and Slim their first round — a Hendrick’s Gin and tonic, served the way the maker wants it, with cucumber, not lime or lemon. TVG, a staunch Tanqueray 10 fan, became an immediate convert. Away, wretched lime!

“Two of those later, the place was still full, but our duo moved on to Beijing’s only venue regularly referred to as a bar, church and embassy — Maggie’s (map). Reports of a return to the old days of larger crowds proved true upon our 1:30 AM arrival — the place was heaving, even without hearing Lady Gaga on the sound system. A good mix of people, fast, efficient bar service, and lots to look at maintain the venue’s status as a top after-hours place.

“On an F&B note — the improvement in service at Union Bar & Grille (map) since the recent arrival of Everton-supporting manager Andy is pronounced. Aside from being an all-around nice guy, he is clearly applying the constant pressure and support the wait staff has needed but was sorely lacking prior. The Zack-Andy kitchen-front of house combo is a solid one and TVG hopes both will remain in place for some time to come.

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* An example of Jack Burton in third-person action:

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if you paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yessir, the check is in the mail.”

In part nine of this series, Bjorn Stabell, founder of “agile software development company” Exoweb, shares his top five places to eat and drink in Beijing. Actually, he’s gone that extra mile and given us six, and noted a couple of spots for the laptop crowd to enjoy. (Links are to the City Weekend Web site that Exoweb built.)

Sanlitun North lived up to its rep as an infamous nightspot this past week, which is unfortunate given some of the fun places in the area – The Tree, Kokomo, Saddle, Aperitivo, Cheers and Le Petit Gourmand, among others. Here are the highlights / lowlights:

- Authorities took exception to a Karaoke machine at China Doll (3.3 building) as the club prepared to launch on Thursday. After a delay of more than an hour, the main bar and dance area opened, with the music kept low. Early observations: this club needs to triple both its air con capacity and the gin in its 60-kuai GTs. The latest news: a “grand reopening” is slated for next Thursday.

- Luga’s, the burrito spot previously known as The Saddle, was closed a night earlier by police, who took the furniture outside, locked the doors, and posted guards after telling patrons to leave without paying.

- On the same strip, two of the four Pure Girl establishments that were shut down during a very public police drug raid in April reopened this week under the ironic name Higher and Higher.

- Worst of all, numerous people in China Doll during the launch party told me of a severe beating in front of 3.3 that saw about 20 people swarm a man who ran out of the building and punch, kick, and swing sticks at him. Here’s a take on that incident.

Add to this the ongoing Swire construction mess (I recently saw two confrontations between locals and building guards and officials these past two weeks – in one case one, a woman threw aside some metal barricades and began punching the guards), tension between bars and clubs (the most obvious being China Doll and Club China Doll), and the continued standoff between workers and management at that building just off the main strip.

Does that mean punters should avoid this area? Not necessarily, since the vast majority of people party in the area without incident. But I would again stress that these are times to keep your wits and a copy of your passport about you.

With his “I’m Beyonce” episode a distant memory, I hit the town with Special K on Sunday. Here’s a roundup of spots we visited that, on second reading, kind of comes off as a rant. I blame the pollution.

Café St. Laurent
CSL draws a strong Sunday brunch crowd, but would do well to reduce the clash between the quality of the food and drink and the décor – savory eggs Benedict versus sitting on emaciated cushions stippled with cigarette holes; tasty Cappuccino versus gazing at a dirty plastic roof; etc. It’s time to upgrade those seats (try Carrefour, it shouldn’t be too busy these days) and unravel the garden hose. Then again, maybe I’m grouchy because a waiter passed a full glass of water over my laptop and spilled some on it.

The Saddle Cantina
Given the squalls of tree fluff in the New Nali Studio courtyard, we grabbed a table inside the bar. Unfortunately, the staff defeated our efforts by inexplicably opening and closing the retractable rooftop several times thus letting in more of the stuff. Were they bored? Is the roof fun to open? Is tree fluff – which tends to have a magnetic attraction to cocktails – considered festive in Beijing and/or Mexico?

The staff is likable at The Saddle Cantina and sibling establishment The Rickshaw but service, while usually OK, can be sketchy. Too often orders get mixed up or misunderstood, no one is able to work the satellite dish, employees compare cell phone rings instead of paying attention to customers, and so on.

This raises the great mystery of service in Beijing: how can it be good at a relative newcomer like Kro’s Nest and such a struggle at The Rickshaw, Saddle, Revelations, and others? For example, I had lunch at Revelations on Monday- there were about ten tables of people, which only represented about a third of capacity. Even so, the staff needed to reconfirm our order several times, forgot the bread, brought my dish 15 minutes before those of my companions, responded to the confusion over my coffee request by repeating themselves at increasing volume. That said, this spot offers arguably the best-value lunch deal in town, so you take the good with the bad.

OK, rant over.

To return to The Saddle Cantina: Special K found his Mango Mojito weak, while I was impressed with /recommend the Pina Colada Margarita. RMB40 is a pricey for a bottle of Corona, though OK for a literally ice-cold pint of Stella. I can hardly wait to see how this place’s home brew turns out.

Luga’s
With not a seat to be had outside, we sat in the new section of the bar, which formerly housed a Xinjiang restaurant that reader ET says had good dapanji and the best noodles in town (by the way, don’t be surprised if there is further expansion of Luga’s). We shared an order of beef nachos and chicken quesadilla, both tasty, and enjoyed a few Coronas. Always one to experiment, Special K stuck his finger in the bottle – I take it that he was fishing for the lime slice – and couldn’t get it out. Luckily, the miracle of mechanics (translation: a lot of pulling) allowed him to eventually free it.

The Smugglers
Special K liked the series of small narrow rooms, the sturdy beer house-style tables and benches, and the posters, finding the place simple but pleasant, though a bit quiet (we were the only patrons). The drinks are cheap (RMB25 for a Margarita, RMB10 for a juice) and the portions are small, while the beer specials are good value.

Kokomo
With the winter roof removed just that afternoon, we enjoyed a stiff breeze beneath the stars. Sam Adams at 35 kuai a pop is nice, though the experimental Champagne Mojito needs more time in the lab. The Christmas-type lights above the bar clash with the candlelight at the table – am I supposed to come here to part-tay or chill out? Expect some summer drink specials from this place.

The Boat
People must have been on shore leave, because only a handful of patrons were on board. Then again, it was late Sunday night. The Boat includes upper and lower decks, ample seating and a dance floor. It’s a cool idea, and I’ll return on a busier night to check it out. By the way, it was nice to see generous space devoted to toilets – this saves guys peeing over the side against a headwind.

They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch. But you can go hungry even if you have money.

I popped into The Rickshaw yesterday at noon for Taco Tuesdays (three tacos for RMB40 with good portions of sour cream and salsa). I went upstairs and found a construction crew buzzing and pounding near the pool table, so I retreated downstairs, grabbed a chair, and popped open the laptop.

I called the manager to find out what was going on and learned that the place was closed. I missed the sign on the door as did everyone else – more than a dozen people – who showed up during the 20 minutes I sat there. Anyway, The Rickshaw should have its side deck opened and be back to normal hours from 4 PM today

Since tacos were not in my immediate future, I decided to go to nearby Revelations. I phoned ahead to see if the wireless was working – last time, it wasn’t – and was told it “should be.” It wasn’t.

I packed up my laptop again and went to Sugar, in 1949: The Hidden City. The place had wireless and food, seemingly a rare combination on this day. I had chicken Caesar salad (RMB32) and a coffee (RMB25), both of which were good. The wait staff is a bit over-attentive and unable to recognize English words such as “water” and “toilet”, but is friendly enough. What is annoying is getting the bill and finding a 10 percent service charge… at a cafe.

Today, I planned to go to Café St. Laurent for lunch. Luckily, I called ahead because the place is closed while the kitchen and menu are overhauled. CSL will open this weekend. Fortunately, the eggs Benedict will remain on the menu although there will be a few new twists to the recipe.

I headed for The Saddle Cantina, then remembered it is not open for lunch during weekdays, and redirected myself to Luga’s. This place is also under construction. I saw a patron eating a burrito, but didn’t see any employees. I yelled “hello” and went back to the kitchen, where everyone was crouched over the floor intensely discussing something, so I left.

For the third time in two weeks, I ended up at Sequoia Café (Sanlitun branch). The BLT (RMB30) is delicious and comes with soup, and a large American coffee (RMB22). Fortunately, there is no service charge. The only downside: Sequoia is full of hard surfaces and thus loud at times.

Some bits and bites, sips and slurps from the local scene…

Expat Show Beijing continues tomorrow (10 AM-6 PM) and Sunday (10 AM-5 PM) at China World Trade Center. Its Web site states that 150 exhibitors will attend, though only a half-dozen from the food and beverage sector, including Jebsen Fine Wines, Ganges Indian Restaurant, Exquisite Bakery, Haosome organic produce, Green Yard organic milk and Wonder Milk. Entry is free.

The Saddle Cantina kicks off its monthly “Cinco De Drinko” event at midnight. The idea: the fifth day of each month will see all drinks at half-price (you need to enter off the Sanlitun main strip, between 3.3 and Nali Studio).

Tonight should also see the opening of the expanded Lugas (ex-Saddle).

Tomorrow, Die Kochmützen celebrates its third anniversary with free HB Beer from 5 to 7 PM. The place will also have a special anniversary dinner for RMB103.

Finally, The Boat, floating on the Liangma River, officially opens next Friday, with reggae, rock, and more on the “upper deck”, and eight DJs below.

It sounds like the Kokomo / China Doll standoff is over for now. Two co-owners of Kokomo told me last Thursday that Tongli Studio management fixed the damaged lighting console at the core of the dispute. I spotted no ominous guards as I headed upstairs to Kokomo last night, though I found the place closed (to be fair, it was around 2 AM).

Across the street, Lugas (ex-Saddle) is expanding. The place is more than doubling in size as it takes over a venue just around the corner, with the two spots being connected by a door. Expect a similar layout and decor, and a side room that fits about a dozen people. Luga says he expects to open the place on Friday.

Meanwhile, The Saddle Cantina opened Thursday with a party by Local Noodles. The spot was packed, the beer and Margaritas flowed. I popped in Saturday afternoon to try the food, as I’d received an email listing the opening hours from “afternoon” to 4 AM on weekends. I found it closed and since discovered the opening time is 6 PM. I returned last night for a few Stella at RMB40 per pop. The beer is literally ice cold, with co-owner Nick Ma explaining that it pours at -1 or -2 degrees Celsius. Ma provided a sample of the guacamole, which was tasty. The Saddle Cantina is much bigger and stylized than The Rickshaw, and the prices are higher. I’ll have more about this place soon.

On Sanlitun North, 1949: The Hidden City will start opening venues tomorrow. The first: Sugar (11 AM-7 PM; no wireless at the moment), a coffee bar that offers salads and other fare. The Noodle Bar (11 AM-7 PM) opens Wednesdays, while Duck de Chine is slated to take flight on the weekend. I sampled Duck de Chine’s menu last Thursday and, as one might expect, we had plenty of duck. Webs, livers, tongues, eggs, breasts – pretty much everything but lips, feathers, and bellybuttons. I also discovered from the chef that they can fit cook turkey’s into those wood-fired ovens – come Christmas, I’m going to be calling these guys.

Finally, I dropped into Nanjie in the wee hours last night and, as usual, it was bustling upstairs with the usual mix of locals and expatriates. With ten-kuai beer and a deck that is perfect for people watching – this place is hard to beat.

Hot on the heels of a rough ride for the former owners of The Saddle (now known as Lugas), it sounds as if Shooters is having employee-landlord woes. This appeared on the bar’s Web site (thanks to AT for the tip):

Announced unexpectedly on 11th November the ownership of Shooters has changed. Just over one year after setting up the business from scratch and turning the spot around from a struggling Russian / Dumpling restaurant into what we know and love today, the proficient Caojian and Ajian have parted ways with the landlord. The landlord, a silent partner and investor in the business, believes he can run things as successfully without the support and experience of the ever popular barmen! All is not lost as Caojian and Ajian have learned a lesson or two and hope to open another bar soon, although the place and name are still to be decided.

Hmmm, that doesn’t sound good, though it would be nice to hear both sides of the story. Add this on top of the Bar Blu closure (it just reopened) and other stories, and Sanlitun North is one scary place to do business in my book.  In any case, the bartenders at Shooters are among the most efficient around, so expect them to be back in action soon. For my initial take on the place, see Shooters: They’ll Cap Your Glass.

According to an SMS going around town, The Saddle: Luga era – officially reopens this Saturday night with half-price drinks. This comes two weeks after the burrito and beer spot officially closed and just over a week after Luga, known best as the “hey” guy at the Saddle, Cox and The Rickshaw, apparently told the owners that he had grabbed the spot for himself (I went by The Saddle twice this past week to talk to Luga but the place has been closed both times).

This is one of the more intriguing recent stories in the bar scene and it will be interesting to see how things work out…

Expect for the guys behind The Saddle, Cox and The Rickshaw to soon have a new place open.