Beijing Boyce

Le Petit Gourmand will officially reopen in Tongli Studio tonight at 8 PM with mulled wine and a performance by No Name Trio. This place, now managed by Alexis Tresor, used to rank among my favorite spots for laptop work and I dropped in over the weekend to see how it changed. Things are looking good:

1. Windows have been added along the west side and provide some needed natural light.
2. The place feels more spacious given that some of the bookshelves in the center of the room have been removed and an open kitchen and a bar area called Le Zinc added.
3. There are lots of large faux leather wing chairs as well as booth-style areas along the walls and these will be good for reading, surfing the net, or chatting with friends.
4. The sandwiches and those tasty fries made it on to the new menu though they are a bit pricier. <– Actually, the old price was RMB48.  Don’t know what I was thinking. My mistake.
5. Coffee starts from a reasonable RMB18.
6. The wood-burning stove remains out back.

Perhaps most importantly, especially for those who don’t like to wear earphones and do like their sanity, Tresor says he plans to have a diverse play list. (I hope that means an end to the days of hearing that freaking My Way compilation album over and over and over again.)

Official opening: 8 PM tonight with mulled wine and No Name Trio…

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Well, maybe not so mysterious any more…

The large Le Petit Gourmand sign in the Tongli Studio landing that leads to the restaurant has been vandalized four times in the past month -  parts of it have been slashed and removed. This might make the printing company happy, but it has made restaurant management annoyed. And some bad news for the person doing the damage: LPG apparently has surveillance camera footage of a possible suspect. As a fan both of LPG and of people avoiding trouble, it would be best if the “paper recycler” in question took a live-and-let-live attitude in this case.

Photos to come…

What restaurants and bars would I visit after leaving Turpan, a three-hour drive from Xinjiang’s capital of Urumqi, early in the morning and arriving in Beijing early in the afternoon? A question I have asked myself since childhood thousands of time hundreds of times never. But I do have an answer. Here is my itinerary for winding down after spending nine days in Ningxia and Xinjiang, most of them in the latter spot, where I found myself unable to use the Internet or SMS.

Le Petit Gourmand (map): As much as I enjoyed putting away kilo after kilo of tomatoes and potatoes, melons and grapes, noodles and lambs on the trip, I needed an old favorite: the club sandwich. While the manager is new, the sandwich, with about a dozen layers as well as sides of fries and salad, continues to offer excellent value at RMB44. So does the “American” coffee, the first non-instant java I had in almost two weeks, at RMB15. Oh, and it appears that LPG has finally added to its five-CD collection. I won’t miss hearing that CD of “My Way” remakes over and over and over again. (Note: In other Tongli area news, Cheers (map) still has that “decorate” sign in its window, while Cosmos Lounge, just around the corner from Cosmos Hot Dogs (map) in the southern entrance, has its prices listed outside.)

Union Bar & Grille (map): Iced tea. Refreshing unsweetened iced tea (RMB20; refills free). I considered ordering my favorite dish, the eggs Benedict, but decided to save it for the weekend. Instead, I went to…

Danger Doyle’s (map): Through this month and next, Wednesday means free pizza from 3 PM to 10 PM. With its wood-fired oven, this place pops out better-than-average pies, and I washed down my pepperoni version with a pint of Stella. The only downside: the table of freeloaders who ordered pizza, but no drinks, and were abusive to the staff to boot. Perhaps not only a “drink purchase required” clause is needed but also, given this is a sports bar, red and yellow cards for boorish behavior.

Purple Haze Bistro (map): A substantial crowd on hand to catch the weekly live jazz. This week’s act was No Name Trio, an outfit that features two guitars and an accordion, plays what one member describes as “French gypsy jazz”, and even slipped in some Elvis Presley. Good music, good vibe…

Brekkie at Europa...

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Side Saddle (map): Home of one of my favorite late-night snacks, the giant DIY burrito, this place now offers three tacos or nachos that can be filled or topped as you like for RMB40. It has also added “super gulp” cocktails: A portable 700 ml drink - six options ranging from Long Islands to Margaritas to Gin Tonics – is . No word as to whether it will offer a napping room for after you finish eating and drinking here…

Cheers (map): Now has a sign that says “Cheers Taproom“. Other changes since Leo, the former face of the place, left include the absence of oil paintings of nudes and the addition of a flat-panel TV, which featured Pink Panther cartoons on Saturday night (I hear episodes of Jackass also get air time). There was also the trademark live Xinjiang music, though it looked  like the band had a few new members. Word has it that the rent on this place will soon be up, so we shall see how many cheers are left in this second-floor Tongli venue.

Cafe Europa (map): This weekend, I tried the RMB55 breakfast, which includes two eggs, bacon or sasuage, beans, tomatoes, toast, jam and butter, plus a glass of juice and coffee or tea. The upside: the food is decent and service is good. The downside: the Internet didn’t work on either of my visits and the staff can be noisy when management is on break. Cafe Europa has a deck outside and a happy hour, Monday to Friday from 5 PM to 7:30 PM, that includes Czech Budvar for RMB20.

Le Petit Gourmand (map): Change is afoot as the manager of several years has left. Let’s hope the food quality remains the same. The affable Andy of The Rickshaw and Xiao Ming of Tun bar have also recently left those places.

Room / 798: Room: Brian McKenna, formerly of Blu Lobster, has set the opening for his new venture, Room, for right after the October holiday. Look also for a new project McKenna is involved in to open this week in the 798 art district.

Notes on a few places I have yet to visit…

Crepanini (map): I have gone twice and found the place, at the front of new Nali Studio, too busy to get a bite. Its popularity is aided by the half-dozen tables out front where patrons can wash down their food with beer, smoothies, and the like.

Xiu (map): The Village Grouch chimes in by calling it, “Centro done right.” His evaluation: “Xiu is spacious, has an attractive layout, the music is correct for the venue, you have a choice of being inside or outside, the drinks are good though very expensive, and the service as at most other venues  in this city is OK at best. I would add that the China Bar / Xiu one-two combo is hard to beat when entertaining visitors.”

Latte (map): I haven’t been to this place located behind Mix, but The Beijing Gourmand describes it as “Yes meets Chocolate“, and that alone is intriguing He adds that it has some of the hedonism of Chocolate, though the floor show and decor is toned down.

Some happenings from the past week or so. As always, click the word “map” beside each venue to get its map, or to get its address sent to your phone for free in either Chinese or English, courtesy of Mobile Native.

Stone Boat (map): A nice crowd on hand Saturday night to watch Panjir play. This is one of the few places in the city center that you can visit and feel you are not, well, in the city center. Good music, good vibe, good times. By the way, based on more than four years of experience, here is a guide to drinks at The Stone Boat: wine = generous pour, beer = average pour, mixed drinks = miserly pour.

Klubb Rouge (map): There is talk of this place, the inactive part of a trio that includes Danger Doyle’s and Drei Kronen 1308, going through a makeover and reopening with a new mission, though a launch would be months down the road. More to come. And once again, kudos to Klubb Rouge for the most surreal PR conference I have attended.

Union (map): If there were an award for the gap between food value and service quality, this place would rank among my favorites. From Toaster-gate and Coffee-gate to the inability of servers to distinguish “rye” from “white” toast to being slow in delivering that initial coffee and then providing refills when only a sip has been taken, this place has had more than its share of moments. To give three example from this past Sunday:

1) The wireless was down for the fourth straight time though a staff member eventually got it working.

2) A friend and I asked for two orders of eggs Benedict and received one order of toast that we were told to share. Shades of Toaster-gate… So if I order an eggs Benedict, I get four pieces of toast, but if we order two eggs Benedict, and thus pay twice as much, we get the same mount of toast?  “If you want more toast, just ask,” I was told. Seriously, if it is a matter of cost, reduce the side of butter, since there is enough there to butter ten slices of bread.

3) Approximate exchange between me and the waitress:

Something to drink?

Coffee.

What kind of coffee?

Just a coffee.

You mean cappucci…

Just a coffee. A regular coffee. Just a regular black coffee.

[Still looks confused]

Could I have the menu, please?

[Hands me a food menu]

Could I have the drinks menu?

[I point to the word "coffee" on the menu]

That one.

Coffee.

Yes, a coffee.

How many?

Seven. No, I am joking. One. One coffee.

I realize these are not huge issues, the staff is very nice, and apparently it was the waitress’s first day. But on the other hand, Union is rather pricey. And if spots such as Le Petit Gourmand can provide decent service, then surely Union can pick up its game. Speaking of which…

Le Petit Gourmand (map): When I couldn’t get wireless at Union on Saturday, I headed here with DJ Chunky. I have written it before, I will write it again – that RMB35 chicken sandwich with salad and fries is a superb deal. But remember: bring an iPod because this spot repeats the same songs over and over and over again, over and over and over again, over and over and over again (ad infinitum).

Cheers (map): This spot, best known its live Xinjiang music on the weekends, is open again, though c0-0wner Leo – and his oil paintings – no longer appear to be in the picture.

Danger Doyle’s (map): Traffic is picking up at this place and it seems to have become a favorite with some of the city’s models on Friday’s ladies night.

The Den (map): For late-night sports viewing, can anyone beat this place? It seems perpetually full whenever there is an event on – whether it be rugby, cricket or the Wimbledon final – and that is most of the time.

Stadium Dog / Fubar: Look for a soft opening of the hot dog joint within the next week or so, with the bar to soon follow.

Kiosk (map): The two-floor second branch of this Nali Studio favorite is open. Look for the bright pink building across from Workers Stadium North and a block east of older Purple Haze. And expect the same high-value burgers.

Solana (map): With the winter blues gone, most seats near that strip along the waterfront – faced by Sex and Da City, HLG, et al – were full Friday night. But expect to drop some coin – we stopped at Lantung where the Corona is RMB45 and a so-s0 Mojito is RMB55.

Cosmo (map): Finding this place open seems to be a hit or miss proposition, as one reader reports dropping by five times and finding it closed on every occasion. Hopefully the kinks are soon worked out.

Pepe’s Pizza (map): Look for this spot to re-open this week with a new design and menu as well as a kid’s party area upstairs where the little ones can make their own pies.

Bling (map): I didn’t make it for the Playboy dancers – I find the stage versions are never as good as the books, uh, I mean, magazines. But an SMS from a fellow bar-goer stated that the dance floor was full of “Russians boogying to ‘Beautiful Girl.’ It’s like Bling and Chocolate have swapped intended clientele”, while another stated that the dancers are “really quite nice. And they claim to have made their wacky go-go costumes themselves.” Since I make my own Speedos, I guess I missed a chance to meet some soul mates…

Le Petit Gourmand (map): Given this place has finally uploaded some new music, and hopefully discarded that CD with a dozen versions of “My Way“, I have renewed hope for world peace, for an end to global warming, and for public relations to send out bar announcements sans smiley faces and multiple exclamation marks. By the way, LPG’s sandwiches, including the club pictured above (RMB44), are tasty, good value, and come with fries and salad.

Union Bar & Grille (map): Despite plans each weekend “to boldy go where no man has gone before”*, I find myself at Union at least once for brunch. The food is consistently good, whether in terms of the basic breakfast, the eggs benedict, or the omelets. And at RMB45-RMB55 per plate, with RMB20 for bottomless coffee, I find it among the best-value brunches in town. Now, if they would only work on the service. (* Star Trek is being released in Beijing this weekend and I had to get in at least one reference. Now, which bar is going to take advantage of this momentous event and come up with a Tribble burger?)

Danger Doyle’s (map): Love the Monday free pizza deal (management says it gave out 85 pies last night), like the beer selection and the rooftop, and I might someday enjoy the ladies night if there were more females there than at Destinations on a given night (true, I arrived with DJ Chunky around 1 AM, but still…). DD’s also has the NBA channel which means people can catch basketball games that air after 10 AM (that’s when the place opens).

Note: I have also caught NBA games at The Goose and Duck (open 24 hours, though the slingbox feed for the last game was choppy), The Rickshaw (which has the NBA channel and is open early mornings), and The Den (which airs the games shown on CCTV and Bensports, though the latter service is unfortunately down at the moment).

Maxim’s Solana (map): I went to the launch of online vino retailer mywineshop on Sunday. The cool weather made that new hedged-in patio an enjoyable place to try a half-dozen wines and mow down a heap of appetizers – the locally produced foie gras was particularly good.

The Den (map): Same old, same old. By the way, I am not a big fan of interventions, but if anyone sees me going solo on The Den deep-fried combo again, please get out the tranquilizer gun.

ex-Cross Club (map): This spot is on the verge of reopening and I hope the decor inside is a few steps above the rainbow colored lights outside. People tell me the guys behind Cappuccino, the currently gutted bar that is on the northernmost  corner of Sanlitun Bar Street and best known for oudoor lights that emulate the LED equalizer lights on a stero, are involved. Can anyone confirm this?

The Irish Volunteer (map): See here.

A few notes from last night’s walk about…

Let’s Burger: I found the patty tasty, but the cheeseburger as a whole too sloppy. And why automatically include the homemade sauce given there is a self-serve table with a dozen different options? The last two bites of the burger tasted like salad topped with 1000 Islands. The staff is friendly, but a bit too much in that “I wonder if they’re on speed” kind of way. By the way, eating companion Mr. Brau said of his burger, onion ring, and Diet Coke meal: “The burger is OK, but extra mushy. The onion rings were nice, but the portion is a bit skimpy. Let’s say I’ve had better 100-kuai meals.”

The Saddle Cantina: Dropped in for a drink and by the time I left at 8 PM not a table was empty. There is also a new Hoegaarden deal on Wednesday: buy one pint, get a second pint, plus chips and salsa, for free.

Le Petit Gourmand: This place continues to be my top wireless stop. Good signal, comfy chairs, cheap drinks (RMB12 for a soda, RMB15 and up for coffee), and tasty food (a sandwich with sides of fries and salad hits the spot for ~RMB40).

Burger King: ksquare reports that the branch at Terminal 3 is temporarily closed due to a fire in the kitchen. I guess everyone got theirs well-done on that particular order.

Part five of a series on where Beijing residents enjoy a beverage (or two). This round is with music and nightlife lovers Elisabeth Tchoudjinoff and Katrina Arndt.
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(1)

Black Sun Bar
This is our neighborhood bar and a good place to start the night. The cocktails are standard but cheap. This is the only bar we know in Beijing where the foosball players’ feet are not too high above the field. It doesn’t meet professional EU standards, which is probably why we are used to it. We enjoy kicking sets of men off the table and we do so often. We are not cocky, just confident.

(2)

Liang 30 Bar
Elisabeth: This is my reason to visit Houhai. The young (read: uncomplicated) Xinjiang musicians listen to our requests and the service is friendly. We also get to plug in our iPod during music breaks, us being the music snobs we are. Plus: Live music can still be heard from the upstairs, which offers a view of the rooftops of Houhai. Major plus: The flattering mirror in the bathroom helps you turn into Narcissus for a few hours or to see the rings in your eyes Downside: The bartender can only be trusted to make Gin Tonics. And open beer bottles.

Katrina: I only come for the music and the mirror.

(3)

Salsa Caribe
If we don’t dilly dally too much, we might try to catch the end set of the salsa band, since they play with explosive energy. We don’t know how many bands play in this venue, but they recently had a singer from the Middle East. A sweaty salsa band + Amr Diab’s ‘Habibi‘ live = very happy moment. Afterwards, we dance to salsa and Arabic and African music until the wee hours. Sure, this place can be a bit of a meat market, but at least the women are playing games as well as the men.

(4)

Le Petit Gourmand
The terrace seating is comfortable (when the weather is not too hot), the food is consistently good, and it is a good place to bring a laptop and concentrate on work. We once ordered food and told them we didn’t think the wine list was sufficient, so we were allowed to bring two bottles of our own. They provided the ice bucket and glasses. However, now this place has a new wine selection, so we might not be able to do that anymore. Still, it’s a fond memory.

(5)

Ichikura / 12SQM
Katrina: Ichikura is a one-of-a-kind bar with a very nice intimate setting and a bartender who takes great care in all the details that go into making a cocktail. Each drink is like a piece of performance art. It is nice to see someone in Beijing who puts so much passion into his work. To be honest, I don’t really want to mention this bar because it doesn’t have a lot of space.

Elisabeth: 12SQM has a nice cozy setting and offers Grey Goose vodka and lychee liquor on the beautiful back wall full of liquor. The lighting is soft and the conversation is low. It is nice to sit on the cushioned window sill and watch Nanluoguxiang life pass by.

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Previously:
Paul Adkins, Entrepreneur
Chandler Jurinka, Local Noodles
Kevin Shen, T3 Terminal
Steven Schwankert, SinoScuba

See also:
Beijing Olympics picks: Wine bars
Beijing Olympics picks: Sports bars

Hot on the heels of an executive decision to expand my “hood” - hey, if Champagne producers can do it, why can’t I? – I’m revising my recent list of coffee stop suggestions. I’ve traditionally defined said hood as the Gongti-Sanlitun corridor, but I’m tacking on The Place since it is but a brisk ten-minute walk from my pad near Workers’ Stadium.

That brings into the fold Pacific Coffee, which I visited thrice last week. A friendly and competent staff, strong wireless signal, cozy chairs inside and adequate seating outside, and reasonably priced coffee (RMB19 for a large brew) and food (RMB22 for a toasted Panini with chicken and avocado) make Boyce a happy blogger. The only drawback: going to the toilet requires an elevator trip to the floor above.

Note: The multi-floor Pacific Coffee in Jianwai Soho is also a good wireless option.

See also:

• Grab a java: Coffee in my hood: Cafe St. Laurent, Revelations, Sequoia Cafe, Le Petit Gourmand, and more
• The winter wireless series: Bubble Cafe, Aperitivo, Nearby the Tree, The Bookworm, Sequoia, The Rickshaw; Le Petit Gourmand; The Stone Boat

As I shuffled the street pre-coffee one recent morning, my synapses fired briefly and inspired this thought – if someone asked me to suggest places in my Sanlitun-Workers Stadium hood to grab a cup of java, what would they be? Off the top of my head, here are four picks. (By the way, I’m no coffee expert, so if anyone has other recommendations, let me know and I’ll give them a try.)

Le Petit Gourmand’s American coffee (RMB15) – a good-value beverage served in a glass with a handle and space for the spoon, thus saving every fifth diner from knocking their utensil to the floor. (LPG is a good place to chill, as long as the staff doesn’t play that CD of “What’s Going On?” remixes.)

Cafe St Laurent Cappuccino (RMB30) – this weekend brunch favorite gets marks for size and frothiness. Check this video of a sugar cube slowly disappearing into the lather like a… uh… uh… a stunned mastodon sinking inch by inch into the murky-molasses-thick depths of a foamy Pleistocene swamp a sugar cube slowly disappearing into the lather.

Revelations’ Lavazza coffee (from RMB8 10) – diners can tag this ridiculously low-priced beverage on to their equally wallet-positive set lunch (they start at ~RMB30 38).

Sequoia Cafe’s large American Coffee (RMB22) – a sizable mug of coffee from a micro-roaster in the U.S. that nicely washes down this place’s BLT. The staff is friendly here, though the disproportionate number of hard surfaces means it can get noisy. [Note: The Sanlitun Sequoia has closed; the other branches are on Guanghua Lu and in Shunyi.]

For those looking to enjoy the great outdoors, Aperitivo (you can watch the street life), Le Bistrot Parisienne (ditto), Les Tour des Jour (ditto II, though this place tends to blast music) and The Bookworm (a spacious rooftop) are other options.

After sending flowers to yourself, strategically placing wrapped boxes of chocolate on your desk, and faking several hot phone calls at the office – what to do on Valentine’s Day?

Besides the many hotels and stand-alone restaurants that will be catering to couples, here are a few options for singles looking for a love connection.

Le Petit Gourmand – Chat, read, dance or gaze longingly at the wood-burning stove at the “after dinner party” on the deck; soft drinks / beer: RMB10; wine: RMB20 per glass; Champagne: RMB350 per bottle; from 9:30 PM; contact Axel axel.mx@club-internet.fr.

Salud – Speedating Specialists presents “Bring a buddy you’d never date, take a buddy you’d like to mate”; the RMB50 cover includes a draft beer and discounted drinks; from 9 PM.

Yugong Yishan – “Our favorite DJs mash it up!” shouts the invite; from 9 PM

The Rickshaw – “Hate roses? Hate sappy music? Hate love?”, then check out this anti-Valentine’s Day party and find your cynical counterpart; all day, all night

Beijing Playhouse – Catch Love Letters, a play about, “the staid, dutiful Andrew Makepeace Ladd III and the lively, unstable Melissa Gardner. They sit side by side at tables and read the correspondence of their bittersweet relationship.” For ticket info/reservations, contact performance@beijingplayhouse.com / 13718908922; Block 8; 7:30 PM, February 14-16

Then again, you could splurge on a bottle of sparkling Champagne, hit the gourmet shop for ingredients, whip together a home-cooked meal for your significant other, and give each other the “spatula treatment.”

Let’s get cooking.

Previous: Put Valentine’s in your Pipes and smoke it

They say first impressions are everything, but with Ciro’s Pomodoro, I can also provide second and third impressions. Ciro’s is a global chain of Italian restaurants that held the “soft opening” of its Beijing outlet in Sanlitun earlier this month – a hard launch is set for Sunday – and goes by the slogan, “Expect the Unexpected.”

First impressions
After lunch Monday with MH at Revelations (write-up coming tomorrow), I suggested we brave the cold, walk to Ciro’s and check the place out. We arrived around 2 o’clock and found it empty. We wandered around, looked at the walls festooned with photos of Ciro hobnobbing with famous (mostly Hollywood) people, and shouted “hello!” Finally, out of the kitchen, there appeared a sleepy foreign guy with whom I had the following conversation.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hi, we just want to get a couple of coffees.”

“Sorry, we’re closed. We don’t open until six.” [The menu lists the hours as 11:30 AM to 3 AM - I guess the soft opening schedule is lighter.]

“But the door is open.”

“That’s for some delivery people.”

“Oh…”

“Hang on a minute – we’re a new place, you’re new customers, why don’t you look around while I make some fresh coffee?”

Actually, that last line went unsaid. Instead, twenty seconds later found me and MH on the street and walking to Nearby the Tree, where we relaxed on a sofa, chatted, and enjoyed a couple of drinks each.

Second impressions
With four hours at Nearby the Tree under out belts, my stomach grumbled, and we headed back to Ciro’s. The outer door and the inner door at Ciro’s are separated by a hallway of a few meters. We peered into the former and saw two employees look at us blankly from behind the latter. I thought perhaps we were slightly early, shrugged at MH, and peered in again. A woman approached, opened the door, and said with a smile, “Happy New Year and welcome to Ciro’s – please come in.”

Actually, that last part didn’t happen, either. Instead, the staff turned away, created a semi-circle, put their hands together the way a basketball team does before a game, and did a cheer.

Hmmm… I felt like something a bit more predictable on this night, so MH and I went to Le Petit Gourmand, ordered the kebab plate and the mozzarella and tomato salad, and relaxed near the wood-burning stove.

Third impressions
After spending yesterday afternoon doing heavy-duty editing*, I stopped at The Rickshaw where Chad, the manager, said, “Hey, you want to check out Pomodoro?”

Another chance to discover the appeal of a chain that diners in Athens, Los Angeles, Bucharest, and other cities frequent.

Ciro’s is sizable, high-ceilinged and airy, has a warm woody décor with touches of glass and those photos mentioned earlier, and includes bar, booth, table and lounge seating (the tables in the lounge area seem a bit high).

The food gets mixed reviews. The complimentary bread is homemade and accompanied by diced tomatoes, butter, and pesto sauce. “Ciro’s bread” (RMB20), a thin-crust pizza-sized dish with tangy tomato sauce, is good value, while the garlic mushrooms (RMB65) and smoked salmon with rocket lettuce, tomato and cucumber topping (RMB90) are OK but over-priced, especially when the service charge is added (see below).

Chad had to go, but I stuck around and tried the thin-crust Pomodoro pizza (RMB 75), which is topped with mozzarella, tomatoes, mushrooms, green peppers, ham, and garlic. Again, this is pricey given that The Tree offers comparable, if not better taste, for less. The best came last: the lasagna with beef and tomatoes (RMB 50) – this is a good brick of pasta loaded with sauce.

In terms of drinks, cocktails start at RMB 45, domestic / imported beer at RMB 25 / RMB 30, and wine at RMB 40 per glass, with dozens of bottle choices at RMB200 and up – those with money to burn can drop RMB14,000+ on Lafite. A Coke is RMB 25. (The menu needs some proofreading, given the numerous typos, misplaced punctuation, and inconsistent capitalization.)

As for the service, the wait staff was attentive – in some ways, too much so.

Example 1: The staff changed our ashtray five times in the first 15 minutes. In one case, Chad lit a cigarette, took a few puffs, and put it into a clean ashtray – a waitress then picked up the cigarette and placed it in another clean ashtray.

Example 2: The waiter delivered my lasagna and asked if I wanted ground pepper on it. I like to first try food as the cook intended, so I asked him to leave the grinder on the table. Later, I added some pepper, put the grinder down, and the waiter walked over, picked it up, and asked, “Pepper?” Um, no. He took the grinder away.

Example 3: Staff approached the table every few minutes to ask if they could take this or that dish away – two of them in succession tried to grab our few remaining mushrooms.

The manager, to her credit, tried to keep things running smoothly – “The glasses are empty at that table”, “That dish goes to this table” – but had her hands full, even with a dozen or so patrons in attendance. The staff is too keen – which is a good problem, in a way – so it’s just a matter of toning things down a bit.

By the way, just before I left, a staff member emerged from the kitchen and walked through the restaurant on his way to the toilet – while carrying a dry plunger. Three minutes later, he returned carrying a wet plunger. Multi-tasking is alive and well at Ciro’s.

As the saying goes, “Expect the Unexpected.”

Here’s some more unexpected. The menu announces a 10 percent service charge. My bill listed the food and drink at RMB 355 and the service charge at RMB 71. It doesn’t take a Ph. D in mathematic to see that works out to 20 percent.

Overall, the place is cozy enough, but the food is pricey and the service needs work, which makes that hefty service charge that much to swallow.

* By heavy duty, I mean applying my scientific terminology-loathing brain to material such as this: “The downstream 17 bp of Nla III restriction site CATG from ORFs with 3’-UTR were extracted as virtual LongSAGE tags.”

I have been making the rounds with my laptop the past few months in search of spots that offer decent food, drink and online access. Here is part two of my wrap-up on winter wireless places. (Previous write-up: The Stone Boat.)

Le Petit Gourmand

The good

• Plenty of parking options, including a high table with stools and cozy booths (with outlets). Most of the seating is dining style and there is a covered terrace
• An atmosphere that is part library (thousands of books), den (the soft lighting) and restaurant (tables decked with cutlery, napkins, and so on)
• Decent food, including pasta at RMB 30 to RMB 45, complete with a basket of bread. The guy behind me had sole. “I’m from Normandy and we eat this fish all the time,” said he. “This is good”
• Regular coffee at RMB 15 kuai, Cappuccino at RMB 20, and several Belgian beers
• Decent bathroom facilities
• The location makes it easy to pop into the gourmet shop in the 3.3. building (at the back, in the basement) and grab groceries on the way home
• Friendly staff, though they struggle with service at times.

The bad

• The music is repetitive (one night, I heard 4 Non Blondes’ “What’s going on?” more than a half-dozen times in two hours, another night the same songs were repeated numerous times) and the noise (on one visit, a staff member’s phone loudly rang over a dozen times to Nickelback’s “How You Remind Me”; suggestion: adjust phone to vibrate)
• If a food special is advertised, and the staff recommends it to you, it’s a bummer when they return a few minutes later and say, “We don’t have that today”

The wireless

• A pretty good signal: with reasonably priced coffee, lots of books to peruse, and comfy seating, this is a place that I park for a few hours.

Next up: The Rickshaw

I number among those poor souls without home Internet access. Getting online thus means packing the laptop, bundling up and heading *out there*. Here are three recent wireless experiences, followed by some favorite spots for surfing the Web. 

Vineyard Cafe
Given the coverage the free English-language magazines have heaped on this place, particularly for its “full English breakfast,” I recently popped in. The breakfast is indeed hearty, with egg, sausages, bacon (soft, not crispy), beans, mushrooms, tomato, two slices of toast, and choice of coffee or juice, though with a price tag of 65 kuai, another egg and bottomless java would be nice.

Vineyard Cafe is unpretentious and cozy, keeps the music at a reasonable volume, offers a good selection of cocktails, beer and wine, and had a strong wireless signal during my three-hour visit. The wildcard is the location. Some might get annoyed searching for a spot hidden in a hutong on a side street near Lama Temple. Others might see it as nicely secluded and rustic.

In any case, I experienced two cafes. The first was at brunch: crowded, comfortably noisy and saturated with a good vibe. The second was in late afternoon, when the human warmth (literally) was gone: the few customers shivered as the front door continually swung open and faced headaches as the back door slammed every 30 seconds or so. Management seems receptive, so odds are it will get a handle on this. A map to the cafe is available at www.vineyardcafe.cn, one of the town’s better bar blogs.

The Stone Boat
After a quick cocktail at The Press Club a few weeks back, I headed down the street, into Ritan Park and to The Stone Boat, where many a winter eve I spent two years ago as a newcomer to Beijing. I wanted to check it out after seeing an ad in that’s Beijing titled “Stone Boat Winter Myths.”

“Myth: Too cold. Reality: New heaters.” The Stone Boat was, indeed, much warmer than in previous winters, and a small foyer at the front provides two sets of sliding doors to keep in the heat, although a slight draft persists.

“Myth: No food. Reality: Homemade dumplings, soup, gluwein, etc.” True again. The vegetarian dumplings were maeyo, so I tried the beef ones (25 kuai per plate) and Boat Beef Noodles (25 kuai), both of which were fine.

“Myth: Dead. Reality: Parties. Stay tuned.” I was the only patron, but it was a Tuesday night and I was grateful this myth had yet to become reality.

Here are two more realities. Reality: I couldn’t get online. There was a signal, my computer apparently connected to it, and for an hour, I futilely tried to access Web sites while the staff smacked the wireless box, but no luck. Reality: entertainment is free. One employee repeatedly held a deck of cards above her head and let it drop onto a table, with a resounding crack, in attempts to get it to stand upright. Unfortunately, it got tiresome after the twentieth drop. In any case, I’m chalking up these last two realities to a bad night, as I’ve often found tranquility (and wireless) at Stone Boat.

Le Petit Gourmand
Longtime readers might remember my last story about this Sanlitun North spot included a bug falling out of a Parmesan shaker and onto my (up to then vegetarian) pizza. I’ve returned sporadically for coffee, but decided to give the food another shot after hearing the place has a new chef.

In my mind, any place positioned along the lines of The Bookworm, as is Le Petit Gourmand (LPG), should have wireless. Unfortunately, the only access I could get was via a weak intermittent signal from Bar Blu, one floor up. As I waited for my food, I mentioned this to Waitress One (W1), who motioned to an empty table 10 feet away. Hmmm. Perhaps she hadn’t understood, so I pointed to my computer screen and warped my face into a look of frustration. She nodded and zipped off, only to pass my table five or six times during the next 10 minutes, obviously having forgotten our conversation. No worries, I thought, I’ll go to the counter and ask Waitress Two (W2). I did, explaining verbally and in sign language, while she stared blankly at me. Perhaps she was considering my quandary, thought I. I thought wrong. W1 approached and asked W2 for two coffees, ending my brief relationship with W2 as she turned her attention elsewhere. I returned to my table and, seeing that W3 and W4 appeared as helpful as W1 or W2, decided to take action. As W1 passed, I caught her attention:

“Excuse me. I want to cancel my order.”
She looked confused.
“My order.”
“Water?”
“No, I want to cancel my order.”
“No water?”

She left and a few seconds later brought my club sandwich and soup (both passable). I made a few more attempts at getting a wireless signal, but it simply was not to be, which was too bad, because LPG has an okay drink, food and book selection and I would have stuck around all afternoon.

Here are some good spots for wireless, all of them in the Gongti area (I’m a homer when it comes to surfing the Web).

The Bookworm: The signal is generally good, but finding a seat can be tough, the music is sometimes too loud, and weird foreigners are attracted to the place like drunken moths to a Flaming Lamborghini. I tend to head there when I want to run into someone I know, crave potato gnocchi, feel like browsing books, or need to be near people who make me feel normal (“Did that guy just *snort* his sugar!?”).

Browns: While known for late-night shenanigans, this place is good for Web surfing. A strong signal, high ceilings, comfortable seats, and decent food and beer choices make it my default choice when The Bookworm is crowded. (Except tonight, as I write this newsletter, when the wireless is “broken” and a medical company is holding its year-end party – the emcee just yelled “wei” 20 times into the microphone as a test.)

Beer Mania: Wireless plus Belgian beer on draft at happy hour prices equals online fun.

Q Bar: I often meet acquaintances for an after-work drink at the Q and can check my email and sip a Horse Neck while I wait for them.

Sequoia Cafe: This place serves good coffee and sandwiches, even if the chairs are hard on the behind.

(From Beijing Boyce XXVIII, first emailed on December 23, 2006.)

These are the nights to enjoy a drink on a rooftop, deck or patio, and my favorite spots remain Pavillion and Stone Boat Cafe, with other good options being Drum and Bell, Frank’s Place and Q Bar. Remember, our lungs filter pollution from this city’s air and a strong collective outside drinking effort might allow us to spot a star or two some evening. (Note: Pavillion offers the added flashback value of hearing Wham!, Huey Lewis, The Vapors and Jackson Browne within an hour.) / John Bull Pub, run by legendary bar proprietor Frank Siegel, is saying toodleloo London and hello Houston as it transforms into a Texas BBQ joint (see “We Got Email” / Zing by Doodoo, an esteemed member of the Bad Bar Name Hall of Fame, is also changing identities and will reemerge as Thai restaurant Serve the People, which is hardly a better name given that it evokes cannibalism. / 49 kuai for a pint of Carlsberg at Face. Ouch! / The Bookworm celebrated its one-year anniversary yesterday. With tasty food, interesting lectures, live music, plenty of books for sale or loan, and an extensive beverage menu, this place has been a runaway success. Not surprisingly, its incredible popularity can make it tough for wireless seekers to get a seat, and that can mean occasional forays to Le Petit Gourmand or SPR Coffee. / Browns now serves “jungle juice” during Wednesday ladies’ nights, which means people may soon be swinging from the rafters as well as dancing on the bar. Speaking of Browns, the foam party two weekends ago saw bubbles upon bubbles for most of the night, but they had burst by Sunday brunch. The place was virtually empty, yet it took over 20 minutes to get a simple breakfast and the COFFEE MACHINE WAS BROKEN! “If this had been my first visit to Browns, I would never go back,” said a downright bitter and caffeine-withdrawn M-Dawg. / Nearby, The Loft has renamed itself Hot Loft. I have no punch line to do justice to this marketing brilliance. / Reader K.S. aka Killer Schoolmarm has spoken to the owner of recently chai’d The Big Easy and says the Louisiana-style hotspot will again grace our city, retaining the spirit of its original interior, but with a new outside look (more to come on this). / M-Dawg and I visited Q Bar two Saturdays ago and waited not only 15 minutes to order, but also 30 minutes in vain for our drinks. With parched throats, we went to Phil’s Pub and soon had Gin Tonics at one-third the cost. It seems to me that Q Bar is best when providing quality cocktails in a tranquil environment, which suggests a need to focus on speeding up drink delivery rather than on, say, hiring a DJ to play house music. Translation: I want my dry martini and John Lee Hooker! Fortunately, the drinks were coming fast and slightly furious during a visit earlier this week. / Speaking of which, Trevor and Kenn from Alternate Paradigm will slip into aprons and host an end-of-summer BBQ on Q Bar’s rooftop (September 23, 2 PM-late). Twenty-five kuai gets you a cheeseburger, two hot dogs, grilled veggies or six wings, all of which come with a baked potato. / Skipping back to Phil’s, I visited several times recently and rediscovered the joys of cheap but decent cocktails, 30-kuai Erdinger, and a friendly neighborhood pub atmosphere. Moreover, after a long stint in Qingdao , owner Phil is back and teamed up with Sally. My only recommendation for this place: vaporize the PlayStation console, or at least anyone using it. / The new branch of Raj held a party last Saturday night with the expected buffet of Indian food and traditional dancing. The rooftop is ideal for enjoying a few brew (from 15 kuai for Qingdao to 25 kuai for Kingfisher) or some wine (though those puny glasses have to go), before heading to nearby Bed or Drum and Bell. / The Stone Boat has upgraded its wine and cocktail menu over the past year and credit goes to Amy and Jonathan. The Martini and Mojito are better, though the latter is still light on alcohol, and it is nice to enjoy wine in a proper glass in such a relaxing spot.

(From Beijing Boyce XXIV, first emailed on September 21, 2006)

When Sanlitun South was razed last year for redevelopment – incidentally, nary a single foundation has been laid on that plot of land where two-meter high weeds now stand guard – some thought the area drinking scene had taken a mortal blow. Instead, it turned out to be the one step backward that precedes the two steps forward in the creative destruction process, and Sanlitun has emerged stronger and more diverse than ever. True, that main northern strip features too many sub-par copycat bars and all of the associated promoters, beggars, fake CD sellers and lady bar touts that come with it. And there have been some disturbing reports of bouncer behavior. But there are also numerous bar and restaurant investors targeting new niche markets, offering more choice and raising service standards, particularly along the new south street and near Tongli Studio in the northwest. Whether it’s Browns, The Bookworm, Alameda, The Tree, Q Bar or others, Sanlitun offers some “best of the best” in the city. Here are ten highlights, from its far north to its deep south:

1. The Tree — Arguably the best pizza in town, nicely washed down with Belgian beer.

2. Cheers — A simple and unpretentious bar with an excellent happy hour (10-kuai Qingdao drafts before 10 PM) and live Xinjiang music.

3. Top Club / Bar Blu — Comfy rooftop decks up top and dance floors down below.

4. Le Petit Gourmand — Kick back, have a beer and read a few books.

5. Alameda — A Brazilian barbecue joint picked by that’s Beijing and City Weekend readers as the city’s best restaurant.

6. The Bookworm — Kick back again, this time glass of wine in hand, and read some more books in the high-ceilinged downstairs or on the rooftop garden.

7. Browns — Good pub grub, good draft beer selection, good place to lose your inhibitions and do some bar top dancing.

8. Modern Nomads — Enjoy throat singing while sipping the best (er, only) Chingis martinis in town.

9. Beer Mania — An excellent combination of mostly Belgian beers and quality cocktails (Mojito, Long Island) in a laid-back atmosphere.

10. Q Bar — The most consistent high-quality cocktails in town and a spacious deck to boot.

Throw in other northern spots such as Saddle (good burritos), Apertivo (good people watching) and Jazz-Ya (good Long Islands), southern ones such as Salsa Caribe, Banana Leaf and Phil’s Pub (good 10-kuai Gin Tonics), nearby establishments such as The Pavillion, Alfa and Yugong Yishan, and more clubs than you can shake a stick at on Gongti west and north, and Sanlitun not only did not take a mortal blow last year, but is living proof of the saying, “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”

(From Beijing Boyce XX, first emailed on July 13, 2006)

I teamed up with Stellar-Go, Kemba and P-Linny last Friday night for a tour of some Sanlitun bars. We started at a familiar spot – The Tree – which is among the few places without a Happy Hour, though bottles of one brand of Belgian beer are only 25 kuai before 7 PM. Our goal at this point was to wolf down some of The Tree’s pizza, which was just picked as the city’s best in the recent that’s Beijing’s restaurant awards. My pick of our three: the four-cheese pie.

Next stop was Cheers, on the second floor of Tongli Studios, which houses Bar Blu, Top Club and Le Petit Gourmand. Cheers has a limited drinks menu, but makes up for it by offering two-for-one until 10 PM, which translates into 10-kuai Qingdao pints and 15-kuai Jim Beam, Jameson and Wild Turkey shots (we stuck to this latter trio). Cheers is a bar, plain and simple, with mostly upbeat rock music and an unpretentious clientele. It has live Xinjiang music on weekends after Happy Hour.

With some Bourbon beneath our belts, we decided a few Belgian brews were in order and headed to Beer Mania on Sanlitun South. Beer Mania recently added draft Stella Artois and some bottled Russian beers to the menu. We parked on the front step, which seats eight, and enjoyed draft Delirium Tremors while watching life pass by, which on this night included the CCTV weather guy as well as an older gentleman showing off his sidecar motorcycle thingy. By the way, this place specializes in beer, but manager Marc van Bever also makes some of the best Long Islands and Mojitos in town.

Speaking of cocktails, our next stop was the newly opened Q Bar on the nearby and somewhat seedy Eastern Inn. This joint is owned by bartenders George Zhou and Echo Sun and German investor Ralph. It features an extremely long bar, under tear-dropped shaped lights of which George is quite proud, and a sizeable deck. It’s an airy and comfortable space. And given the lack of a kitchen, the more than 50 patrons, and drinks that start at 40 kuai, the place was doing a healthy business, with a majority of patrons being twenty-something patrons. However, despite eight people behind the bar, drinks were a bit slow in coming, and one reader was highly annoyed that even with a big backlog of orders, the bartenders were meticulously measuring out shots, individually mixing and shaking each drink, and doing taste tests. Talk about a clash of civilizations: thirsty throngs versus perfectionist bartenders. This is one kink that needs to be worked out pronto. Even so, the music was good, the large deck cool and pleasant, and (once acquired) the vodka martini top notch.

(From Beijing Boyce XVIII, first emailed on June 8, 2006)

Razed. Chai’d. Bye bye’d. Beijing’s three-meter salute to drinking – the Sanlitun beer mug — was not only a dispenser of cigarettes, gum and beer, but also a reference point for locating dozens of bars. Now it’s gone, tossed on the dust heap of history in what is already a very dusty city. Not even a cement coaster remains. As always, change is in the air and Opening Shots covers eight bar scene developments.

ONE

Crisis at First Cafe: it was long my favorite bar but cocktail quality has slid quite a bit during the past year, though the ambience remains good. With the nearby beer mug gone, what does fate hold for this cozy watering hole, especially given that its sign has been turned off for nearly two weeks?

TWO

Meanwhile, ex-First Cafe, ex-Midnight bartenders George Zhou and Echo Sun nearly have Q Bar ready atop the Eastern Inn on Sanlitun South. The place will have dim lighting, cozy couches, and jazz and blues music, with the interior and deck much more spacious than what George and Echo have before handled. The wildcard is the cocktails — their claim to fame — and whether the (quality) martinis will smoothly flow should the place hit its peak capacity of over one hundred people.

(By the way, some wonder why I so regularly write about George and Echo. In short, they epitomize everything about opportunity in China. A couple of years ago, they were out-of-town novice bartenders, learning their craft and making little money. They worked hard, built up their mixing skills, bar knowledge and a loyal following, and now have their own place. To me, that is a compelling story.)

Q Bar will fully open in early June…

THREE

… as will TRIO, with a soft opening on Friday (May 12). Near the Rosedale Park, Japanese School and Si-de Park, TRIO has a piano bar and a New York-style grill on the top floor, the new Frank’s Place at ground level, and The Cellar in the, uh, cellar. This is a major project and the big question is whether it can stick in an area that is not exactly known for nightlife. The Cellar itself is unique in Beijing with its wrought iron doors, stucco walls, arch ceiling, earthy feel and focus on wine. There will be a Club 88, with an 8888 kuai initial investment and 3888 kuai annual fee, where members receive free wine dinners and cooking classes, discounts on wine, and a 32-bottle onsite storage space (lock and key included). The top floor grill, complete with baby grand piano, seats 50, while Frank’s Place holds 110 and has a pool table, a bar, eight TVs and outdoor seating in front and back. (Thanks to investor Roger Dutton for the tour.)

FOUR

Speaking of outdoors, The Pavillion now has a most pleasant patio. Comfy wicker chairs, lush grass, serene trees — a nice spot for a few pints or bottle of wine. (The cocktails are okay, though one Mojito came with uncrushed mint and the Long Island had too much Coke. Word has it that the food has greatly improved with ex-Aria chef Richard Millar now on hand.) This seems to be the Year of Outdoor Seating. There are newcomers, such as Frank’s Place, Le Petit Gourmand, 5:19, Cafe Pause, The Pomegranate and The Bookworm (though the nearby construction is annoying); old-timers, ranging from Bar Blu, Stone Boat and Le Quai to numerous Houhai spots; and more decks, patios and rooftops coming, such as at Blue Fox.

FIVE

Glenn, we hardly knew you! My suspicions about tensions between the owners and staff at Browns turned into reality as Glenn Phelan, who joined Browns when he left Pavillion after a three-month stint, resigned as floor manager (the DJ soon followed and there may be more fallout). Look for Glenn to have his own spot in a few months. Meanwhile, investor Philip Cheung says that Browns’ Russian sidebar will open next month and that ladies’ night, on Wednesdays, will be extended from 2 AM to 3 AM (the free drinks have been cut back to a select list of cocktails). As expected, Guinness and Kilkenny prices have risen to 40 kuai, from 35 kuai, which begs the question: when will they go up again?

SIX

Efforts to duplicate the Centro phenomenon continue with one high-end hotel recently launching Champagne and another expected to open a bar this summer. Palms threw its hat into the ring about six months ago, though it was quickly tossed back. Champagne might want to resist describing itself, in its adverts, as “fast becoming the hottest place in the city for Beijing’s social elite,” because if one of my visits was any indication, those elites number less than a dozen. It would be much more useful to study Centro‘s excellence in effectively welding great location with calculated and sustained marketing.

SEVEN

I recently wrote that Beijing’s cocktail scene was stumbling down the proverbial stairs. In hindsight, it might have been a case of “one step backward, two steps forward.” Q Bar is about to open, Garden of Delights serves up excellent Mojitos, Centro has upgraded its cocktail list, master mixer Marc van Bever has returned to Beer Mania (luckily that cast is on his ankle, not on his wrist), Jackie at Browns is sharpening his skills (Agent Red Wolf gave the Mojito a thumb up), Modern Nomads has those Chinggis vodka Martinis, and so on. Things do seem to be looking brighter.

(From Beijing Boyce XVI, first emailed on May 11, 2006)

Ex-First Cafe, ex-Midnight bartenders George Zhou and Echo Sun will launch Q Bar on Sanlitun North, near Beer Mania, with the soft opening due in early May. Backed by foreign investors, Q Bar will focus on — no surprise — cocktails and have outdoor seating. / Based on a dozen pass-bys, Midnight has seen a huge drop in business since losing its bartenders a month ago in a debacle that, on one hand, has been a lose-lose-lose situation for the owners, staff and customers, and on the other hand, business as usual in Beijing. / Meanwhile, First Cafe, my favorite bar from late 2004 to summer 2005, has gone from being the city’s best-kept secret to an overpriced drinking hole. The cozy ambience no longer compensates for the anemic Bloody Mary (40 kuai) and passable Gin and Tonic (50 kuai), unless one has an excess of money and a dearth of taste. If you go, eschew the cocktails for beer and shots. / Speaking of which, the cost of a Gin and Tonic, using Bombay Sapphire, at four places last Saturday night: Phil’s Pub, 20; icehouse, 40; First Cafe, 50; Champagne, 55.2 (yes, they actually charge miao). Phil’s offers great value; icehouse and Champagne feature bands (the former’s is particularly good), and First Cafe has some atmosphere and, uh, a sit-down toilet. / Mint shortage! Pavillion was out two weeks ago, Champagne and icehouse last Saturday, and Mexican Wave last Sunday, the latter denying Agent Red Wolf a taste of its Mojito just hours before she finalized her top-five list (see below). Is this a niche market for an herb entrepreneur or do bars simply find the Mojito too time-consuming to make? / ASC Fine Wines is celebrating its tenth anniversary. It’s been a decade for Don St. Pierre, Sr. and crew, and they are the team to beat when it comes to wine distribution in China . See Closing Shots for their celebratory wine and Riedel glass special. / The Big Easy is on the chai-ing block and April looks to be its last stand. Catch a final Bloody Mary on the veranda at one of Beijing ‘s landmark bars. / From Margaritas to Martinis, drinks are free for the ladies at Browns after 9 PM on Wednesdays. The downside: the gentlemen sometimes find their orders — those would be the drinks on which the bar MAKES money — backlogged behind 20 cocktails, even for something as simple as Whisky shots. / The Timeout readers’ party last Thursday at icehouse was packed and the band was rocking. The place was also hopping last Saturday night. That long hallway is still creepy and reminds me of “The Cask of Amontillado” (BYOT — Bring Your Own Trowel). / A Molinari Sambuca launch party was held in Beijing last Thursday at the ” European-style Conference Center ” in Chaoyang Park (thanks to SF for the invite). I found the cocktails either too sweet or too light, and instead took my Sambuca straight, which helped numb me toward the painfully bad presentation and foreign poseurs. Listening to three (translated) speeches was bearable, but pity the (Italian?) reps brought on stage some five times over ninety minutes, with almost everyone oblivious to them. And the following words, unless uttered for amusement purposes, should never start a speech at an alcohol launch: “In the course of human development…” By the way, these foreigners with weird glasses (i.e. primary blue with gold sparkles) and/or un-tucked designer dress shirts and/or the hair that’s supposed to look stylish but is more reminiscent of a bad mousse day and/or the “I’m a socialite in China, even though I’d be lucky to be runner up back home in a KFC assistant manager hiring campaign” attitude — where do they rent them? Uh oh, stop me, stop me… uh oh… I’m going… into… oh, no… day… dream… mode…

[I'm beside a guy wearing black heavy-rimmed glasses with mother-of-pearl inlay. His head is weighed down with mousse; he wears a neatly un-tucked dress shirt. When I first spoke to him, he gave me a look that said: "I'm in a charitable mood, so I will allow you to humor me." We have just exchanged "pleasantries."]

Me: “So, what do you do in Beijing ?” [Yes, that's a terrible question.]

Him: “What DON’T I do? Let’s just say that I’m in consulting.”

“Are you in any particular field?”

“Actually, I’m talented in numerous areas, but I guess if I had to pick one, I’d say communications.”

“That sounds, uh, extremely difficult.”

[My rapt attention has warmed him up. He re-untucks his shirt and continues.]

“Yes, it’s quite hard. I spend a lot of time on research, academic stuff, with a focus on a younger demographic. I’d hazard to call it leading edge, you know?”

[I nod, faux awe radiating outwards.]

“It’s very proactive. I get a chance to learn about them, they get a chance to learn about me; it’s the cross-cultural exchange I find so rewarding.”

“Hang on! You wouldn’t be consulting in ‘education,’ would you?”

“Uh, as I said, I think my field is best described as communications…”

“Hey, are you teaching English to kids!?”

With this, my “speaking partner,” as they say in his field, suddenly needs to refresh his drink.

This exchange is an exaggeration, of course, but there are a lot of poseurs out there. I recommend that expatriates ask themselves at least once a month: if I suddenly had to return home, what kind of job could I get? For the vast majority of us, the answer is humbling. [By the way, I'm not criticizing English teachers, as many are hardworking and dedicated, and many of the most successful people I know were English teachers at one time, so please save the hate e-mail, even though it would probably have fewer spelling mistakes than most of the stuff I get. Actually, I don't even want to criticize poseurs, either. Please DON'T start tucking in your shirts! Enjoy it while it lasts, and remember, this was all just a daydream. Now, back to opening shots...]

The Pavillion has moved its furniture about, printed new menus, and dropped the price on drinks, or at least on Long Islands . When I visited two weeks ago, the proprietor Russell Probert kindly treated me to a beer and said work was about to begin out back, where a Mediterranean restaurant will be added and landscaping done. / Le Petit Gourmand’s new sundeck is, by all reports, very cozy. Since my “live bug falling out of Parmesan can and onto pizza” incident earlier this year, I’ve only been back once and stuck to the high-value lattes — big mug, 15 kuai. / I went to Saddle and ordered the large burrito (50 kuai; didn’t the same size used to be 35 kuai?). The waitress leaned against the counter, loudly chewed her gum (mouth wide open) and cow-stared as I ate my meal. Not comfortable. The music, which included John Cougar and Ram Jam, was good. / Last week, I reported that Trio will soon open across from the Lido Hotel. It’s actually the Rosedale Hotel. / Cafe Pause will apparently change its menu — again. The blue cheese and spinach dumplings with pesto sauce were fantastic, everyone loved them, and I was annoyed they were no longer available when I recently hiked all the way to Dashanzi. Consistency, especially with the good things in life (like blue cheese dumplings), is a virtue. / I really enjoy the unpretentious patrons and atmosphere at Modern Nomads. Simply put, it’s a fun to place to kick back for an hour, sip a Mongolian vodka martini and watch live throat singing and pop music.

(From Beijing Boyce XIV, first emailed on April 6, 2006)

Popular bartenders George Zhou and Echo Sun left Midnight bar two weeks ago, following a run-in with management, about six months after they left First Cafe, following a run-in with management. It’s a serious situation for those who enjoy quality cocktails. Echo continues to manage Cafe Pause in the 798 art district, while George is doing consulting. Their next moves are eagerly awaited. / Dawn breaks after even the darkest midnight and new bartender Alex at 10-kuai Qingdao joint Phil’s is a ray of sunshine. He can mix up a tasty Mojito, Bloody Mary and Long Island, the latter coming with a splash of Grand Marnier and impressing finicky Agent Red Wolf. Alex is usually (no guarantees) behind the bar on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday nights, the latter best avoided given the rowdy all-you-can-drink-Qingdao-for-30-kuai crowd). / Cajun cooking and wasabi together at last? Chef Dan Segall, whose photo is a mainstay in Beijing’s English-language magazines, has left Hilton Hotel’s Louisiana Restaurant and next month will join the Japanese-focused kitchen at RBL. / John Bull Pub is holding “entry-level” wine tasting on some Fridays (6 to 8 PM), with takeaway bottles at 80 kuai or less. Chilean, Australian and Chinese wines have been featured. Call 6532-5905 for details. / This could be the year of outdoor eating, drinking and reading in Beijing. Owner Alex Pearson gave me a tour of Bookworm‘s new rooftop garden, which has a flagstone path, seats 48, and should be open by today. (By the way, given how loud and crowded the Bookworm is at times, how long before someone–Alex herself?–opens a similar spot elsewhere?). Alongside favorites such as Bar Blu, Steak and Eggs, Stone Boat and numerous Hou Hai spots, Bookworm joins newcomers Le Petit Gourmand, Frank’s Place, 5:19, Pomegranate, Browns, Pavillion and others in the great outdoors seating competition. / Pavilion will add an extension in order to add a Mediterranean restaurant. Richard Xavia (ex-RBL) and Richard Mills (ex-Aria) are consulting. On one hand, the shift is understandable as about-to-open Frank’s Place will siphon some of Pavillion’s sports-loving patrons (Frank’s Place investor Roger Dutton and Pavillion proprietor Russell Probert were once co-owners of the old Frank’s Place). On the other, this smacks of yet another attempt to bring Shanghai not only to Beijing (see RBL), but also to an establishment that already lacks focus and staff training (example: the numerous occasions when no employees on hand were able to work the TVs). / As for Dutton, he says Trio, which will house a New York-style grill, the new Frank’s Place and the wine-centric The Cellar, should be open by early May. Nicole Pang has been hired as part of the PR and marketing team. / No frowns at Browns as the large empty space meant for tequila and Whisky rooms has instead been quickly finished to handle overflow from the main area. The place was packed to the gills on St. Patrick’s Day. My biggest gripe after a dozen visits: the music. My advice: forget the muddled DJ sets and instead put in a “Funky 80s Hits” CD, hit random play and let people have fun. (For more on Browns, see We Got Mail.) / Wine whiz Ethan Perk writes that the new Schindler’s, on the old Riverside Cafe site, is hopping, even on a Tuesday night at 6:30: “They were packed, not a seat in the house.” / Shunyi is starting to blossom. An upcoming that’s Beijing map lists more than 100 shops, restaurants and bars in the district. While Shunyi is still a bit light in the latter two categories, Palette Vino, Jenny Lou’s and Pomegranate are leading the way, and the first fixed location for caterer Harry’s Kitchen is apparently set to open. / Sequoia Cafe has a tasty 30-kuai chicken pita and salad combo at lunch. The place delivers, but if you order by fax, follow-up by phone, as the machine is sometimes off. / Finally, if an afternoon spent listening to 1950s German folk songs sounds like fun, try Cafe Pause in Dashanzi. You can slowly go mad while using the free wireless.

(From Beijing Boyce XIII, first emailed on March 24, 2006)