Beijing Boyce

After our recent Go North Campaign, The Cellar Rat and I stayed closer to home. I decided to give an award to each place. (Note: This is part two of two. See part 1 here.)

Hard Rock Café: the place a lone male is most likely to feel as though he were a stray wildebeest trailed by a pack of hungry hyenas
I’d heard good things about the burger and band at Hard Rock Cafe, but perhaps post-10 PM on a Sunday night is not the best time to check these out. Let me set the stage: there were four male customers (including us) and 25 women, seemingly not customers, aggressively pursuing them.

These women were totally relentless. Uttering “I am not interested”, “I am a eunuch” and “We’re not the right star signs” had zero effect. I’ve nothing against someone plying their trade but when it is obvious said service is unwanted and the service providers not only continue unabated, but also the staff of the bar, which charges 60 kuai per pint, does nothing to alleviate the situation, then it’s time to go.

Note 1: Those so inclined can buy their Hard Rock Café merchandise near the door, thus being able to sidestep the scene inside.

Note 2: This place is cavernous and worth a look, although if you are innocently gazing about, you might quickly find some unwanted arms around your waist. Remain vigilant!

Passion: the highest ratio of entry fee per bottle of Chill
This is the old Hed Kandi space. It’s plush, mod and you can chat up a woman who could pass as, and might possibly be during the day, a model. That is, if you are willing to part with 300 kuai for the honor. The 100-kuai entry fee entitles you to a soft drink or a bottle of Chill that you can enjoy while watching high rollers play dice games and chat with said models while being mesmerized by the lights. The door staff eyed me with one of those “this isn’t really your place” looks - I think it might have been my fake wool jacket (I don’t mean the jacket was a fake, I mean it wasn’t real wool, so save your emails IPR fanatics).

Check this one off the list and move on.

The Den: best menu item to make sure your heart keeps up to your liver in the “which one will give out first” sweepstakes
How many places have stuck it out in Beijing as long as The Den? Not many. The service is good, the food is ideal for satiating late-night hunger, and the place is grungy enough that no one cares about the ketchup stain you got on your shirt from that Hard Rock Café burger (if you have one, that is). The Den, if anything, is dependable.

The Cellar Rat and I ordered the mixed platter, which includes a half-dozen deep-fried items – mushrooms et al – and is tasty with a couple of beers. We skipped the Chill and then ate our weight in calories and went home.

Beijing’s Filipino community - and it really does define “community” - was out in full force last Sunday for the annual Christmas party in the Philippines Embassy. The only people that are more fun than Filipinos are… are… are… wait, I can’t think of anyone else. Filipino bands from five-star hotels, the Hard Rock Cafe and Blue Fox had the place hopping, and with plenty of tasty food, raffles prizes and games, it was an enjoyable afternoon. There was one game, based on musical chairs, where a group of eight women danced around a group of seven men and, when the music stopped, each tried to grab a man’s belt, with the one left beltless being eliminated from the game. Then it went down to seven women and six men, and so on. Highly entertaining. This is my second time to the party - all thanks to my Filipina pal Cherry - and I highly recommend finding someone to tag along with next year.

(Philippines footnote: My last trip to the islands was in 1999. I landed with an American friend in Manila at midnight and within minutes a Filipina-American we just met invited us to her house in Roxas, Panay Island, to visit with her family. We accepted the offer and spent two days hanging out with about 70 of her nieces and nephews - eating, drinking, eating, visiting markets, eating and, of course, singing. That’s hospitality.)

(From Beijing Boyce VI, first emailed on December 14, 2005)