Beijing Boyce

The Beijinger will hold its third annual “super” pub quiz, this time at Chocolate, starting at 7:30 PM tomorrow — doors open at 6 PM. As in years past, the city’s top quiz masters will take turns leading rounds, including Karl Long (Paddy O’Shea’s), Jim Kirchhoff and Anthony Tao (The Kro’s Nest), Tom Cattanach (Black Sun), Josh Lally (Lush), Pat Walsh (Green Cap), Liz (Stumble Inn), Graham Forbes (Irish Volunteer), Julian Forbes (Tim’s Texas BBQ), Alex (Brick) and Jonathan White (Bookworm and Beijinger). Entry is rmb100, includes a drink, with proceeds to Ping An Medical Foster Home.

I went to the quiz two years ago at Tun and joined a team that did an amazing impression of The Titanic, with a quick start, long period of floundering and quick slip beneath the waves. I went to the quiz last year at Hard Rock Cafe and blogged until a bad Internet connection made me give up. This year, I will a) join another team to pursue an impression of Titanic II, b) live blog again but this time provide the answers during the rounds to help the slower members of the tribe, c) perform with the Chocolate dancers halfway through the event, or 4) spend all night working on a project that I will be announcing on Monday. Unfortunately–respectively for the attendees and for me–it’s going to be c) or d)…

But which one is the *real* Santa?

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He’s jolly by golly so deck the halls with boughs of holly, Wally, because The Man in Red will make an early appearance when he flies to Beijing this Saturday for the second annual Santacon.

(That whole rhyming thing is because this is the day after one of those all-nighters I pull every few months to try and reset my internal clock. Thus, I am giddy. Maybe Santa can bring me a nice new shiny internal clock for Christmas. And an air filter. And some Taco Bell hot sauce. I don’t ask for much.)

What is Santacon? “SantaCon is a non-profit, non-political, non-religious and non-sensical annual Santa Claus convention celebrating cheer, goodwill, and fun.” It happens in Beijing on December 11 this year. You can get info on where to buy a Santa suit, the starting points (to be announced tomorrow), and how to participate in the charity coal drive here.

In the meantime, I asked Santa where he likes to grab a drink while in Beijing. Here are his top five watering holes:

“Bringing happiness to the world’s boys and girls is a huge responsibility—gathering intel to decide whether Bejiingers are naughty or nice, constantly innovating to be on the forefront of toy technology—and being Santa can be stressful! I wouldn’t trade this job for anything in the world. But when I need to take a break from the North Pole, here are five places that keep me jolly:

“Fubar lures me back again and again with its guarantee of merry times. Hidden entrance, solid drinks, friendly staff, ready access to hot dogs, what’s not to like? I’ve never had a bad cocktail in this place. As a post-work hangout for me and my elf friends, it hits the spot. And its mulled wine has a way of mellowing me out even after a tough day in the workshop. Big plus: I can always find a parking space for my sleigh in Workers’ Stadium.

“Pyro Pizza is my go-to pizza place in Haidian. A few rowdy Santas studying at Tsinghua tipped me off to this place. When milk and cookies do not satisfy my appetite, I dash down to this Wudaokou underground bar for thin-crust pizza, laid-back attitude, and value-priced beer.

“Tao Yao Bar is one of those hidden Houhai gems among the blaring music and flashing lights of neighboring bars. Tucked away on a narrow park by the southern end of the lake, this chill Tibetan-style bar sets the tone for a relaxed afternoon over a few Harbin beers. The comfy cushioned second floor begs you to prop up your boots and recline after a night of climbing up and down chimneys.

“Bang! Bang! Pizza & Bar is one of the reasons why my belly jiggles like a bowl full of jelly! This addition to the Shuangjing scene serves tasty pizza and soups (try their potato, bacon and cheese soup –drool-inducing!). Perch on one of their tall chairs and munch on some pizza while gazing at the paintings adorning the walls. This place can be a bit hard to find with scaffolding currently obscuring its signage, so keep a sharp eye out.

“Chocolate: the skimpy outfits those Chocolate dancers wear make my cheeks rosy! Some of their cocktails can be a bit too sweet, so I usually just stick to drinking vodka and smoking hookah when I roll into this Russian club. The over-the-top décor and floor dazzle. I don’t often go there, but when I do, watch out: Santa is on the loose! I hope no one Facebook-ed photos of my swinging around the stripper pole last weekend.”

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In the latest installment of the top five watering holes series, local know-it-all Charlie Flint of the Chinese version of How Stuff Works tells us where he grabs a drink after a long day of telling residents how to use an elevator (let the people inside get out first), how to refurbish a sidecar motorcycle so it looks wicked cool, and how to survive a baijiu dinner by surreptitiously slipping your shots into the soup. (Actually, I made those examples up. Just a few free ideas for How Stuff Works.)

Here are his picks…

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Fubar (map): Currently my default watering-hole, Fubar is an excellent combination of quality, value, service, and vibe. There aren’t many places in this town where you can score mixed drinks made with top-shelf liquor for 30 kuai. Add in a great atmosphere – this place feels like home with its gregarious management and staff and a crew of steady regulars – and you have the perfect place to unwind after a long day of work.

Chocolate (map): The most ridiculously sublime bar I’ve been to in ages. From the pole-dancers to the 300-pound burlesque queens to the uber-cheesy band playing eighties-era Russian dance music, it has to be seen to be believed. Sure, its a LAN knockoff, but LAN (mistakenly) takes itself seriously, whereas Chocolate feels like it is in on the joke. I mean, come on – gold-plated urinals. Anyhow, I may have a soft spot for the place because of a wild night there that saw a certain Beijing bar-scene blogger drinking from ladies’ shoes and starting fights with Russian mob-types (and saw me waking up on my bathroom floor the next day), but it is one of Beijing’s must-visit bars.

Q Bar (map): I’ll have to agree with the others who’ve pegged this as a Top 5′er. Q Bar’s bartenders know how to mix a solid cocktail, and the rooftop deck is a fantastic place to hang out with friends, business associates, or out-of-town guests. And I love to take first-timers through the decidedly bland Chinese hotel below it. There’s such a weird transition that takes place en route to t he terrace as you pass the pensioners from Wuhan on holiday .

G-Zou (map): Discretely tucked away on the bottom floor of one of the towers of Sunshine 100, this Japanese shoju bar has an impressive selection of this distinctive (and amazingly diverse) drink. With a clientele that’s 95 percent Japanese and staff that only speak Japanese and some broken Chinese, it can be a little difficult to communicate… but that becomes part of the fun. The bartenders are great sports, know their spirits, and seem all too happy to drink along with you. Added bonus: It’s directly across the street from Oriental Taipan, making for the perfect 1-2 punch when combining a shoju bender and a foot massage.

Scarlett (map): I’m cheating a little bit here, as I’ve admittedly never gone drinking at Scarlett without eating, but I can safely state I’ve never eaten there without drinking, too. A great place to start the night with a bottle of wine and some charcuterie, Scarlett’s got a relaxed feel that keeps me coming back. Plus it sports one of Beijing’s better pool tables (where I usually get hustled by French pool sharks), and a Long Island Iced Tea that leaves me seeing spots.

A pair of incidents this past week made me think again about value-for-money drinks in Beijing…

One: A visit to The Beach (map) at Block 8 where a bottle of  mass-market Champagne and six tins of local beer cost ~RMB1000. Two: A visit to Fubar (map) where a gin tonic made with Bombay Sapphire cost RMB30.

Different people value different things when it comes to a night out. I don’t put much value in “see and be seen” spots, thus spending a grand to drink a bottle of bubbly served in scratched and scuffed plastic glasses and beer in plastic tumblers on this rooftop is not my thing. (By the way, the average squat-on-a-stool, three-kuai-per-big-bottle-of-Yanjing drink-in-the-street joint in Beijing has better glasses. Maybe The Beach is worried about getting broken glass in the sand, but surely there is an alternative to plastic glasses that look like they went through ten years of use at a summer cottage.)

Anyway, I value things such as an earthy atmosphere, a diverse clientele, and – because I lack unlimited money and a massive expense account – decent drinks at decent prices.

This brings me to the bubbly. Contrary to the pop of its cork, Champagne – as opposed to sparkling wine – generally offers the the smallest bang for the buck of any alcoholic beverage in town. If you are of my mindset, and find it ridiculous to spend ~RMB700 — a typical price at a bar or club — for a bottle of exceedingly average Champagne, here are other ways to spend that cash (I will use some of my favorite spots as examples):

• ~12-15 quality cocktails at Q Bar (map), either while sitting at the long bar or on the sofas inside, or on the new deck outside, which despite its size offers intimacy and no minimum table charge.
• ~10 cocktails at Maison Boulud (map), which makes some of the more interesting drinks in town, including what is among my friends the love-it-or-hate-it Project 23.
• ~20 beers such as James Boag’s or VB either inside or on the deck at Danger Doyle’s (map), at The Den (map), at The Stumble Inn (map), or elsewhere.
• ~3-4 bottles of quality wine from more than a half-dozen countries at the hutong-style Palette Vino (map) in Dongsishitiao.
• 2 bottles of Russian Standard vodka, with mixers, at Chocolate (map).
• 35 shots of homemade rum at Salud (map) in Nanluoguxiang. (Note: the second branch of Salud is slated to open in Sanlitun North, opposite Tongli Studio, later this week.)
  
• 23 gin tonics, made – as noted above – with Bombay Sapphire gin, at the new Fubar (map). Or ~13 Hendrick’s gin tonics for those who want to go upscale.
• ~235 big bottles of Yanjing, in a glass or from the bottle rather than from a scuffed plastic glass, at many of the squat-on-a-stool-outside joints in the city.

You could also go for cocktails at Ruby Khi, downstairs from The Beach. And in defense of The Beach, the place is simply passing on the outrageous price of even the low-end Champagne available in Beijing. If you like bubbles, and care about how much you spend, you are better off finding a sparkling wine you like from Italy, Spain, Australia, or any other number of places.

Or doing your Champagne drinking at Sunday brunches, such as The Westin on Financial Street, when you can stuff your face with food and booze for about half the price of a bottle of Mumm’s or Moet-Chandon at the average club or bar in this city…

After all the hype surrounding the Playboy dancers who appeared at Bling, it only seems fair to mention the upcoming “Strip Dance Party” aka “Tarzan Show” at Chocolate (map). As this post on clubzone.cn puts it:

The hottest Russian male-strippers from Moscow gonna perform at club “Chocolate”. The sexiest show from Russia. Don’t miss it!!! Tarzan Show!!!

I like how the writer used “gonna” so that the event doesn’t seem too highbrow. Anyway, the six-pack abs and turkey-drumstick biceps get exposed on May 24 from 8 PM to 2 AM (see here for details).

Unfortunately, a ticket costs RMB288, which is nearly RMB300 more than I am willing to pay to see Russian men take their clothes off. I calculate that willingness to pay based on a complex algorithm that involves the number of tennis titles won by Anna Kournikova, the number of t.A.T.u. songs on my iPod, and the results of IQ tests I have taken immediately after downing a few bottles of vodka at Chocolate.

Plus, May 24 marks Queen Victoria’s birthday, and I traditionally spent that day pondering why my country continues to have images of English royalty on its currency. (My guess? Our almost pathological need to be polite.)

(Hat tip to AS)

True, I write about Chocolate (map) a lot, but then again the place seems to be the talk of the town, given the number of friends who have mentioned it to me, the number of emails I have received about good experiences there, and the number of five-star hotel people who call me late at night asking for the location. So, here is one more photo, deemed a tad “too hot” for an upcoming edition of City Weekend that will feature a story about spots in the Yabao Lu area, including Chocolate (reprinted with permission). By the way, did anyone else notice the oil painting is crooked? No? OK…

See also:
Chocolate again: With sweet pics of the floor show, dance floor, and more
Chocolate Nightclub: Sweetening every night of the week
Yabao Lu: Chocolate icing competition?
Yabao Lu tour: Chocolate, Treasure Island, Maggie’s, Hollywood

I have been to Chocolate (map) a lot the past few weeks. I have written about Chocolate a lot the past few weeks. But the place is worth another post given that: 1) the place rocked on Thursday night; 2) I had my camera; and 3) the place rocked on Thursday night. Thus, the gallery below includes a few shots of the floor show, of the dance floor, and some people that somehow, despite ample imbibing, managed to not end up on the floor. By the way, anyone else notice how many people who work in the media, bar business, or five-star hotel sector – people who tend to know value – are showing up at Chocolate? A lot of Chocoholics out there…

Mondays nights should mean a relaxing meal, perhaps a drink or two, and turning in early. Unless you end up with  DJ Chunky, Dr Doom, Mr Brau, and B-Daze. Then it means shooting the shit, shooting homemade rum,  and shooting down any hopes of getting home before the wee hours of the morning. Places visited…

Lugar (map): With the pool table eliminated downstairs, this place now has a slight Le Petit Gourmand feel, one that would be strengthened if those empty shelves end up lined with books. I could see myself popping in to check my email or read a book, then sampling some of the signature cocktails or dozens of single malts. The rooftop offers views of the surrounding hutongs and sports new furniture,  including patio-style chairs and tables, although sitting atop the glass floor is a bit unnerving.

The food menu has shifted from Vietnamese and Taiwanese snacks to salads, sandwiches, pastas, and the like. One patron found the lasagna tasty, while I thought the bread used for my sandwich too dry. Finally, the service could be better. The staff is friendly, but the two dozen people gathered on the roof for a “tweet-up” – a gathering of Twitter users – too often found themselves with empty bottles and glasses, to the point that people had to go downstairs to refresh their drinks.

Salud (map) (also known as e.a.t.): We sauntered down Nanluoguxiang and found that places either had a decent crowd (Reef Bar, Guitar Bar, Salud, etc) or were pretty much empty. We parked at Salud and did a few rounds of the homemade infused rums. I liked the Salud special, with its spicy aromas (cumin, cloves, etc) and strong cinnamon finish. The orange and clove would be better with added citrus power to balance the spices (add more rinds to the recipe?).

Chocolate (map): DJ Chunky, Mr Brau, and I figured this would be the one place with a solid crowd and we were right.

Maggie’s (map): The previous venue on Workers Stadium East had an earthy atmosphere that the newer spot on Ritan Park has been unable to evoke. The place is well-designed, with the traditional painted ceiling beams exposed, the bar nicely lit, and seating options that include lounge areas, a square bar, and space near the dance floor. And the service is quick and professional. It simply misses the vibe of the old place.

The Den (map): A final pit stop for fuel. As always, a late night at The Den draws a clientele almost as diverse as that at the Star Wars Cantina. I went for the least healthy item on the menu – The Den combo – which includes deep-fried mushrooms, potatoes, spring rolls, and two or three other items. There is no faster way to end a night than to put yourself into a food coma…

Out on a weekday in Beijing and looking for a late-night option? Check out Chocolate (map), which offers an over-the-top decor, a fun atmosphere, good service, and reasonably priced food and drinks. Even better, this place seems to be rocking every night of the week:

- Monday: Mr Brau, DJ Chunky and I arrived to find the dance floor packed with a mix of men and women, locals and expats. We ordered a bottle of Russian Standard vodka, an excellent deal at RMB238 per bottle. (Mixers are RMB20 per can, for those who don’t like their spirits straight up.) DJ Chunky, with the confidence meter cranked to high, approached two tables of ladies and got people at both up to dance.

- Wednesday: I went with a group of journos, including P-Jimmy, and found the place even busier. Not a table nor a seat at the long bar near the entrance was to be had, so we parked at the smaller bar. We passed on vodka and stuck to Corona (RMB30). Again, a good atmosphere, a packed dance floor, and a fun Russian band.

- Sunday: Two readers tell me they visited Chocolate and happily found the place busy and fun.

As Mr Brau says, “This place continues to impress. There are very few bars in this town that can deliver on a Monday night. And it delivers night in, night out.”

One criticism: On Wednesday, we ordered and paid for three beers and the staff only brought two. Later, I ordered and paid for a Corona, waited 15 minutes for the beer, then asked the staff for my drink. One of the bar employees suggested I had already consumed it – she pointed at the several empty bottles on the bar. They eventually gave me a beer. I found these incidents strange as I had not one problem with service on my previous dozen or so visits to Chocolate.

If only I had a pop-up map...

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I regularly get asked about how to find a particular bar or restaurant (note: I prefer those types of calls before midnight on weekdays). Given the new pop-up map feature on this site, I’ll run a couple of posts about some of the harder to find places in town.

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Where is Chocolate?

Two parts LAN (décor), two parts Treasure Island (entertainment and clientele), one dash CJW (ascending seating areas), and a handful of potential trouble (those vodka shots can catch up on you), this over-the-top, put-you-under-the-table club is here.

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Where is Ichikura?

This cozy Japanese whiskey and cocktail joint, with room for 12 along the bar, a couple of small private rooms, about 100 single malts, and a get-away-from-it-all vibe, is here.

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Where is Ginkgo?

Formerly known as Room 101 and currently the beachhead for drinkers in Andingmen, this place, with a decent range of beers, a bar downstairs and a restaurant upstairs, and regular live music, is here.

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Where is Chuan Ban?

This typically packed Sichuan restaurant, with reasonable prices and more than enough pepper power for the vast majority of spicy food fans, is here.

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Where is Obiwan?

This three-story joint with a dance floor, bars, lounge spaces, and a rooftop deck, not to mention the honor of nearly causing Mr. Brau’s shaved head to freeze solid when we spent an hour circling Houhai in an attempt to find it late one winter night, is here.