Beijing Boyce

Email: “Your comments on Rui Fu suggest powers of observation so weak that you would no doubt have trouble matching socks, finding Waldo or counting the fingers on one hand, let alone reviewing a club. “The main floor is divided into two large narrow rooms joined by an opening,” you claim. In fact, there is but one room. “…tables and chairs, then lounge areas, flow until they meet that opening, beyond which figures appear as silhouettes,” you claim. In fact, the “beyond” is actually the first room reflected in a mirror. Nice work, Sherlock Holmes. If you could learn to develop some characters, you might have a future in fiction. (By the way, I loved your “plush karaoke, generic hotel casino, and modernized opium den” reference — kisses!)“ - B. Boyce

BB: I thought I’d beat someone to the punch on that one. Rui Fu does, in fact, have one room. In my own defense, I’m easily distracted, the mirror on the far side is *really* shiny, and it does look like a passageway. Here’s the worst part: Around 10 PM one night, I was writing a review of Rui Fu based on a single one-hour visit and felt that was unfair, so I decided to delay the newsletter, threw on some decent clothes, headed over there, ended up taking to owner Henry Li for an hour, got a better feel for the club, and then came back and ADDED the part about two rooms. Yes, in this case, more research resulted in greater inaccuracy. Go figure.

Email: “W Sports Bar does not have a pool table.” - W. Thomas

b: I was wrong (again). Last issue, I wrote that W has a table hockey game buried amid enough stuff to make for a most excellent yard sale, including, “[a] ping pong table, dartboard, big-screen TV, pool table, art, grand piano, foosball table, etc.”

My bad: mae yo pool table.

Nevertheless, I won’t retract the ensuing comment: “Is there anywhere else in town where you might simultaneously hear “Who’s serve?,” “Bull’s eye!,” “I’ll have two beers, please,” “Eight ball, corner pocket,” and “This is simply too Dadaist for my taste,” all while someone chops out Mozart and a Formula 1 race shows?”

Even without a table, that “eight ball” comment could still easily be heard from a confused ping pong player, coverage of the world pool championships on the big screen, or… actually, forget it, there’s no way I’m going to make a cheap baggy pants joke.

Email: “You’ve listed Club Football as one of our editor’s picks – NO! It’s the unique RED BALL BAR – can you issue a correction?” - H. La

BB: I was wrong again (again). (People should be used to this by now, but no, in flood the emails.) This time, an eagle-eyed staffer from that’s Beijing (TBJ) pointed out that I listed Club Football, rather than Red Ball Bar, as an honorable mention as bar of the year.

(“I love the Ball because it’s so unique and different. There’s a smashing atmosphere, the staff are so friendly and helpful, it’s superb value [where else can you get a bottle/carton of decent wine for RMB 50?] and it’s so different from any other bar I’ve been to,” he/she enthused.)

Fair enough. Correction issued. To err is human, they say, as TBJ itself showed by not giving a single editor’s pick to Browns, even though that place won the popular vote, is frequented by other bar owners and employees… well, you know the story (and yes, that was a cheap shot).

Aside 1: Most of my British friends hate Browns. They disdainfully describe it as typical of this or that horrible bar in London, Muckchester, Corkingham or wherever they call home. Message received — about a million times so far. And I’m sure the Beijing natives living in the Isles aren’t overly fond of the Chinese restaurants there. Such is life. The thing is, we’re not in Britain, nor do most of us hail from there, and Browns is what it is — a place for good, clean fun. Where else will you find seven young guys raucously celebrating a birthday while nearby two couples in their seventies happily boogie to eighties tunes? Not cool, you say? Well, some people dislike pretentiousness or simply aren’t trendy, thus we need Browns, the great melting pot of bars in this city. So, for the love of Buddha, and Ben Elton, please stop the hating! Pretty please? Pretty please with Boddington foam and frozen blood pudding shavings on top?

Aside 2: The mainstream media must be disheartened when amateurs such as yours truly turn on their powers of perception and score a major news scoop. Take my expose on the White Man Overbite dancing epidemic at several Sanlitun hot spots a while back. The China Daily, Wall Street Journal and their kin completely missed that one. Then there’s my most recent scoop: uncovering a direct link between eyeglass-wearing styles and bar success. The evidence accumulated during my lengthy investigation would fill multiple volumes, but let me present two pieces. First, a recent TBJ story about its bar awards ceremony shows not one, not two, but three victorious owners wearing eyeglasses atop their heads, as though they had visually challenged hair follicles that were looking at the ceiling and possibly to a vote-producing deity beyond. Second, numerous other winning owners not pictured in the story were spotted at the ceremony wearing glasses in a similar manner. The link is obvious, but what of its significance? While it is difficult to quantify the positive effects of, for example, a pair of Ray-Ban bifocal sunglasses on revenue, my guess is 22.7 percent, give or take 0.3 percent. (Rose-colored lenses and those for nearsightedness would obviously have less impact.) Contrast this to bar owners who wear baseball hats backwards: I estimate that such low-brows typically see their businesses go bankrupt in a matter of weeks and also stand a fifty-fifty chance of spontaneously combusting. The lesson is simple: bar success is yours if you keep your glasses pointing upward and keep your ball caps pointing forward, and ideally do both (glasses over caps, of course). And remember, you heard it here first.

Email: “It is tres terrible to hear about the Big Easy. It easily had some of the best jazz and singers since my days on

before heading for Vietnam in ’67. Are they going to open somewhere else?” - J.W.

BB: That’s a really good question and I don’t have a clue as to the answer. Maybe The Big Easy will relocate beside the new Latinos! Anyone out there have some inside information?

(From Beijing Boyce XXIII, first emailed on August 31, 2006)

People frequently ask me to recommend bars for their visitors to Beijing. Whether it is an incoming friend, client, parent, fellow Scientologist, long lost uncle, mail order bride or paroled pen pal in question, I would dearly love to answer such requests by spouting out a perfect itinerary. (Actually, paroled pen pals are easy: take them to The Bookworm, since its fully-loaded shelves will appeal to their literary side and the clusters of MBA students can help an ex-con who is long on ideas but in short supply of professionally written business plans. Class project!)

But I have a hard time figuring out where to take my own guests, let alone those of other people. I generally skim through bar listings, ask co-workers, call my friends, throw oracle bones and endure cold sweats as I create a decent plan. That plan, once in action, invariably runs into the great wall of harsh reality, built from the bricks of snap decisions and the mortar of compromise. An experience some time ago reminded me of this wall and re-taught me some basic principles for getting over it.

The situation: A group of six middle-aged business types visit Beijing. I know two very well, two fairly well, and two not at all. The mission: take them out for dinner and drinks on two consecutive nights.

Night one: I take the two I know very well and one of the strangers to dinner at Xihe Yaju. Beijing duck is a safe bet that becomes a guaranteed winner when you have beautiful weather, a table out back and an excellent bottle of wine — as we did. Next stop: The Pavillion. Two more people joined us, and we shared another bottle of wine while enjoying the spacious patio and the serenity amid the trees. Nice. Most of the group then headed to the hotel, while two survivors and I hit one last spot, Suzie Wong (thanks to Agent Red Wolf for the idea). With its interesting decor, cozy deck and top-notch people-watching opportunities, this is a good stop for almost any visitor to Beijing, even on a slow Sunday night. The end result was a night that included some classic Beijing food, a cozy patio, and a landmark bar.

Night two: I began this one as a guest, rather than a host, as we had some Xinjiang food and then took a stroll down Sanlitun North on our way for a drink at Apertivo. Our host then headed home and the onus for picking the next spot fell on me. Our group included four people: two that I knew well, considered my main guests, and thought would best like a good drink; and two that I didn’t know well and who were a bit restless. My gut feeling was to take the first pair to a reliable spot such as Browns or Q Bar, but the second pair seemed lukewarm with that, so we instead headed to another spot that turns up in guidebooks, Maggie’s. As it turns out, Maggie’s was sparsely populated, the music didn’t match our mood, it wasn’t really this group’s style, and the evening was as anticlimactic as it gets. And it happened because I ignored a few simple rules from the “common sense” category.

1. Take control. Choose the itinerary or surrender responsibility to your guests, but don’t be a wishy-washy Charlie Brown. If everyone has read in their guidebooks about Suzie Wong and wants to go there, then the decision is made for you. But if they’re new to town and forget their books at the hotel, take charge, and when doing so…

2. Stick to the tried and true. Even better, stick to the tried and true that offer the most acceptable worst-case scenarios. For Browns, a reasonable worst case would be that the place is empty, but still comfortable and with a good beer selection. For Q Bar, it might be that rain has closed the deck, but patrons can still sit at the pleasant bar and drink some excellent cocktails. In both cases, the worst isn’t so bad. This helps to..

3. Avoid the great unknowns. I have had fun times at Maggie’s, usually with Agent Red Wolf or O-Zone at 3 AM on a Saturday night when the place is full, we’ve already had a few cocktails, and hearing Welcome to the Jungle sounds like a good idea. But in this case, it was a Monday at 10:30 PM, and I even qualified the visit beforehand by saying it wasn’t likely to be good. As a former boss used to be fond of saying, “when in doubt, leave it out.” Instead, I left Maggie’s in, and by doing so, forgot another key rule…

4. Focus on the core group. By sidestepping Browns and Q Bar, I gave up what was likely to be a good experience for the two people that I knew best, and possibly for all four, in exchange for a gamble on behalf of the two people I knew least. That’s like hitting on 17 in blackjack.

In hindsight, this all seems pretty simple. (Then again, so does making a decent martini, though how many people can do it?) But if you’re handling a group that is impatiently waiting near some taxis, or trying to get people in different parts of the city to one spot, or dealing with people from different age, cultural or other groups, it can get pretty tricky. So maybe falling back on a few basic rules can keep your night out going forward. In any case, I’m going to start contacting numerous party animals and bar and restaurant experts that I know, and in future newsletters will list some possible itineraries for a fun night in Beijing.

(From Beijing Boyce XXIII, first emailed on August 31, 2006)

Bar and club owners and employees were out in force at the Kunlun Hotel two weeks ago for the annual that’s Beijing awards. More than 30 establishments took home prizes in 20 categories that each included a winner and two or three honorable mentions (HMs). Centro (4 wins, 2 HMs), Suzie Wong (3 wins, 2 HMs) and Browns (2 wins, 4 HMs) led the way, followed by Bed (2 wins, 1 HM), Pavillion (three HMs) and Aria (3 HMs). Bar Blu and The Tree each won two categories. None of the winners seemed unduly unjustified, although I was surprised that Bar Blu won for best outdoor space, given that its deck has been halved since last year and there has been a recent (perhaps too recent) proliferation of excellent patios and rooftops. The place obviously has a loyal clientele, so good on them. The winners, with honorable mentions in parentheses:

Bar/Club of the Year: Browns (Centro, Suzie Wong’s) 

After-Hours Club: Suzie Wong’s (Bed, Maggie’s) 

Bar Snacks: The Tree (Souk, The Den) 

Beer Selection: The Tree (Beer Mania, Browns) 

Cocktails: Centro (Alfa, Q Bar) 

Dance Club: Vics (Babyface, Coco Banana, Destination) 

Decor: Bed (Redmoon, Suzie Wong’s) 

Cheap Drinks: Nanjie (Black Sun Bar, Kai) 

People Watching: Suzie Wong’s (Browns, Maggie’s) 

Happy Hour: Bar Blu (Browns, Centro) 

Hotel Bar: Centro (Aria, Redmoon) 

Live Music: Yugong Yishan (D-22, Icehouse) 

New Bar: Browns (D-22, Frank’s Place) 

Outdoor Terrace: Bar Blu (Pavillion, Stone Boat) 

Business Networking: Centro (Aria, Pavillion, The Bookworm) 

Place to Bring a Date: Bed (No Name Bar, Souk) 

Place to Find a Date: Suzie Wong’s (Browns, Destination) 

Sports Bar: Goose & Duck Pub (ClubFootball, Pavillion) 

Student Hangout: Lush (Kai, Propaganda)

Wine Selection: Centro (Aria, CourtYard, The Cellar)

Afterwards, I ended up at Indian Kitchen for dinner (this place should get an HM for Best Dance Club given the number of people bopping about) and then popped into Q Bar to congratulate bartenders-owners George Zhou and Echo Sun, who were prominently displaying their HM for best cocktails (not bad for a month-old bar), and to meet Roger Dutton and Kevin McCartan of Frank’s Place, which received its own HM in the best new bar category. Congratulations to all of the winners and the honorable mentions.

(From Beijing Boyce XXI, first emailed on July 27, 2006)

Speaking of which, Browns won as both best new bar and bar of the year, and deservedly so, since no other place has had more impact on the city’s scene in 2006. It offers good pub grub, an excellent beer selection, and a fun atmosphere; it attracts competing owners and employees as patrons; and it seems to polarize people into love-it or hate-it camps, thus making it hard to ignore. The place is a winner. So naturally, on the Saturday night following the awards, Browns held a singing contest. Yes, business as usual — that is, the things that got it the awards — came to a screeching stop while patrons watched the musically challenged climb atop the bar and massacre Every Breath You Take, Faith, Buttercup, and other songs. Admittedly, I complained a bit too vociferously about this situation (apologies all around), especially as the contest had been advertised for weeks (my bad for not reading the posters in the toilet), but it did seem like bad timing.

In any case, initiative is good and so is realizing when to cut one’s losses, and things were back to normal the next Saturday, which is to say that the music was so-so. I have largely praised Browns since it opened, and have received some grief from other bar owners who claim I favor the place, but one thing I have not applauded is the music, although it has improved a bit in recent months. It doesn’t seem like rocket science to observe that: 1) Browns draws arguably the most diverse crowd in town, ranging in age from 20 to 60 and including nearly every profession and nationality, and this group is most likely to respond to hit songs; 2) fewer people dance when the DJ plays an esoteric tune (which demonstrates his or her breadth of musical knowledge, though unfortunately to a crowd that largely doesn’t care) than when he or she dumbs things down and plays hit songs; 3) this place is a copy of the popular bar Carnegie’s in Taipei which, for better or worse, plays hit songs. I guess what I’m saying is: play more hit songs!

Perhaps I’m being oversensitive. After all, someone could say that a) Browns is full and thus b) people must love the music. But I think Browns is a success because it offers a package of food, drinks, fun and location, and that competitors looking for a piece of that success will try to exploit the weakest parts of that package. One of these, in my humble opinion, is the music. Another is the drinks, which are literally weak. (Last Saturday, for example, after having a few anemic cocktails, I went and watched one of the bartenders, and he was using far too little alcohol for the mixed drinks. Not a minute later, a patron three meters away had the same complaint, as did some others during the evening.) My point: weaknesses can catch up with a bar, thus having a packed place today is very different from having a packed place three months from now, and the latter requires listening to customers, constantly improving the package, and holding off current and potential competitors, whether by improving the music, reminding bartenders what constitutes a standard drink, or other measures. Fortunately for Browns, it is strongly positioned and thus has great influence over its destiny, but in the dog-eat-dog world of bars, eternal vigilance is not only a virtue, but a necessity. These comments aside, it has been an excellent 2006 for Browns and it very much deserved the award for bar of the year.

(From Beijing Boyce XXI, first emailed on July 27, 2006)

Happy 65th birthday to ASC Fine Wines co-founder Don St. Pierre Sr. (and a happy 100th to his liver!) / Congratulations to Browns boss Philip Cheung, who successfully proposed to his soon-to-be-wife on the bar-top during the final game of the World Cup. / There is a lot of talk about violence against patrons in Tongli Studios, home of Bar Blu, Top Club and Cheers, among other establishments. The incidents apparently involve the building’s security guards and are making northwest Sanlitun a less appealing party destination. / Far more tragic, a woman was stabbed to death at 2 AM on Tuesday night near the South Gate of Chaoyang Park. While Beijing is by and large safe, violence does happen, and it is best to err on the side of caution when out and about. / Next issue, I’ll review a handful of new places and look at the impact glass shape has on wine enjoyment. Until then, eat, drink and be merry (and safe). BB.

(From Beijing Boyce XXI, first emailed on July 27, 2006)

When Sanlitun South was razed last year for redevelopment – incidentally, nary a single foundation has been laid on that plot of land where two-meter high weeds now stand guard – some thought the area drinking scene had taken a mortal blow. Instead, it turned out to be the one step backward that precedes the two steps forward in the creative destruction process, and Sanlitun has emerged stronger and more diverse than ever. True, that main northern strip features too many sub-par copycat bars and all of the associated promoters, beggars, fake CD sellers and lady bar touts that come with it. And there have been some disturbing reports of bouncer behavior. But there are also numerous bar and restaurant investors targeting new niche markets, offering more choice and raising service standards, particularly along the new south street and near Tongli Studio in the northwest. Whether it’s Browns, The Bookworm, Alameda, The Tree, Q Bar or others, Sanlitun offers some “best of the best” in the city. Here are ten highlights, from its far north to its deep south:

1. The Tree — Arguably the best pizza in town, nicely washed down with Belgian beer.

2. Cheers — A simple and unpretentious bar with an excellent happy hour (10-kuai Qingdao drafts before 10 PM) and live Xinjiang music.

3. Top Club / Bar Blu — Comfy rooftop decks up top and dance floors down below.

4. Le Petit Gourmand — Kick back, have a beer and read a few books.

5. Alameda — A Brazilian barbecue joint picked by that’s Beijing and City Weekend readers as the city’s best restaurant.

6. The Bookworm — Kick back again, this time glass of wine in hand, and read some more books in the high-ceilinged downstairs or on the rooftop garden.

7. Browns — Good pub grub, good draft beer selection, good place to lose your inhibitions and do some bar top dancing.

8. Modern Nomads — Enjoy throat singing while sipping the best (er, only) Chingis martinis in town.

9. Beer Mania — An excellent combination of mostly Belgian beers and quality cocktails (Mojito, Long Island) in a laid-back atmosphere.

10. Q Bar — The most consistent high-quality cocktails in town and a spacious deck to boot.

Throw in other northern spots such as Saddle (good burritos), Apertivo (good people watching) and Jazz-Ya (good Long Islands), southern ones such as Salsa Caribe, Banana Leaf and Phil’s Pub (good 10-kuai Gin Tonics), nearby establishments such as The Pavillion, Alfa and Yugong Yishan, and more clubs than you can shake a stick at on Gongti west and north, and Sanlitun not only did not take a mortal blow last year, but is living proof of the saying, “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”

(From Beijing Boyce XX, first emailed on July 13, 2006)

that’s Beijing announces its annual bars and clubs awards tonight. Below, in capital letters, are the places I think deserve to win (all in my extremely humble opinion, of course).

Hotel Bar

I usually frequent hotel bars for work-related reasons and have to give Centro credit: there is always a decent number of people, usually decent martinis and sometimes decent live jazz. In terms of slickness, it’s about as dependable as Beijing bars get. Expect this category to be much more crowded next year with new bars in the Crowne Plaza, Hilton and other hotels competing against older ones such as Centro, Hyatt’s Redmoon and Shangri La’s Cloud Nine.

Bar Snacks

Saddle (burritos) and Fish Nation (our fine-finned friend with chips) both offer good filler in Sanlitun north, Bellagio has the Taiwanese angle covered, Cafe Pause, while technically not a bar, has tasty snacks up in the 798 Art District, and there are innumerable kebab stands where night owls may bulk up on meat and fat, not to mention a week’s worth of salt. Decent eats these are all, but I’m giving a slight edge to two places: Mojito, which despite it’s somewhat car-park like feel offers up the super tasty Mexican hamburger, and The Den, which pumps out the pizza and deep-fried goodies 24/7.

Place to Dance

A few years ago I did the White Man Shuffle as well as any endomorph. Alack and alas, I have now regressed to a mere wiggle, usually in the shadows, and what could be more ideal than a place where everyone else’s eyes are glued to the writhers busting moves on the bar top. The award thus goes to Browns, with honorable mentions to Suzie Wong’s and Maggie’s.

Cheap drinks

Phil’s Pub: A standout among the plethora of 10-kuai drink joints, with friendly owners, a decent layout and better-than-average drinks, not to mention a convenient location just 200 yards from my apartment (how selfish). Plus, the place lets patrons order in kebabs.

People Watching

Apertivo, No-name Bar, Centro, Maggie’s and numerous other places all merit mention in this tough category, but if a winner must be named, and if it counts as a bar, this award goes to The Bookworm, where you can not only scope out the patrons, but also overhear phone calls and conversations, discover a potential mate’s reading preferences (“Dan Brown? Next!“), and see if their caffeine fix comes from lattes, Diet Cokes or Irish coffees. (Yes, yes, The Bookworm is not exactly a bar or club, but they do sell ample quantities of beer, wine and cocktails, and besides, that’s Beijing has the place listed on its ballot, so blame them!)

Happy Hour

Centro offers great high-end value with their two-for-one cocktails, Beer Mania has 500 ML of Belgian draft for 40 kuai and discounted bottled Belgian Beer until 8 PM, The Den offers two-for-one pizza and beer, and Cheers pours two Wild Turkey shots for 30 RMB until 10 PM. What makes a happy hour superior depends on where you feel comfortable and what you like to drink, and the places all above excel in their own ways, so this is a four-way tie.

Best Outdoor

Another tough category, with contenders such as Bar Blu and Top Club (nice rooftops, same building), Q Bar (an even bigger rooftop, though the chairs are a bit hard), Hai Bar (a dark horse that offers cheap beers and views of Houhai on one side and the drum and bell towers on the other), Nuage (the same views, but fancier decor and higher prices), Suzie Wong’s (a nice getaway from the crowds inside, plus some of the best plastic plants in town), and The Pomegranate (for those in Shunyi). But the best of the bunch are Stone Boat, a small Qing-dynasty era spot set on a pond surrounded by trees and rocks in central Beijing‘s Ritan Park, and The Pavillion, with a lovely backyard made extremely cozy with comfortable wicker seating, elegant trees, and mellow lighting.

Business Networking

For drawing a diverse crowd that includes business executives, English teachers, homemakers, writers, MBA students and most everyone else, the award should go The Bookworm. There is no place, except perhaps for First Cafe last year, where I have made more connections.

Best Place for a Date

Le Cafe Igosso: Above-average food and a good wine list in a low-pressure atmosphere. If you’re looking at a Sunday afternoon, rather than a weekday dinner, then it’s No Name Bar. And if it’s an evening drink, rather than a meal, try the Q Bar, although going through that somewhat seedy hotel in which it is located might send some messages (possibly wanted, possibly not) to your significant other.

Student Hangout

The Loo: A bar that is long-closed and from another lifetime (not to mention another country). For this category, I’ll make like a soccer player and pass.

Best Beer

Browns, for its draft selection (including recent additions Stella Artois and Beck’s), and Beer Mania for its wide range of bottled Belgian beers and its Belgian draft.

Best Cocktails

This depends more on the bartenders than the establishments. I’ve had solid drinks at Centro, great mint-based cocktails at Garden of Delights, and some good but cheap beverages, courtesy of Sally and Alex at Phil’s Pub. I also remember tasty cocktails at Alfa, Jazz Ya, Browns (hit and miss), 5:19, The Big Easy, and places too numerous to mention. But in the end, only one place consistently pumps out a wide range of high-quality drinks, and thus the award goes to George Zhou and Echo Sun at Q Bar.

Bar of the Year

This bar has raised its beer prices, lost key staff, struggled with its interior decorating, dealt with DJ turmoil, faced numerous other challenges and, despite it all, had a greater impact on Beijing’s drinking scene than any other establishment in the past year. This bar has exerted influence because it consistently provides good clean fun, because it scores well in terms of design, atmosphere, food and beer selection, and because it is frequented by a sizeable number of the city’s bar owners, managers and employees. Love it or hate it, this bar has firmly planted itself in the party landscape, providing not only great value for patrons, but also food for thought for those in the industry, and this combination should earn it the bar of the year award. This bar is Browns.

(From Beijing Boyce XX, first emailed on July 13, 2006)

Having checked out some ten venues for World Cup watching, top marks go to Ritan Park, where two large screens were mounted atop the altar in the central compound. They lost the signal during the U.S.-Ghana game and did not have CCTV as a backup, but Browns avoided the problem the second time around, and they were also better than most places in keeping the beer flowing. 5:19 was a nice stop as there was space to stretch out and manager Dave McCullough whipped up some special Canada Day drinks. (By the way, imagine if the average person emulated some of the World Cup players and acted as though a minor incident were a life-threatening one: we’d have people taking two weeks off work for paper cup, going into apparent cardiac arrest because of the hiccups, and sprawled out on sidewalks everywhere because of the pollution.)

(From Beijing Boyce XX, first emailed on July 13, 2006)

From early afternoon to late evening the rain drummed roofs, drenched streets and inspired people to place potted plants beneath ceiling drips. Such a relentless downpour sent many citizens scurrying home from work to tuck themselves safely indoors. But it also invigorated the night owls, who shook weather from feather and decided it was time to head out and party.

In this spirit, my visiting friend Lulu and her friend Lala and I splashed to Browns, which almost always offers good clean fun. It was near midnight and the place was near full. We sipped our drinks and wondered who would be, out of a crowd heavy that night with lithe young women in belly-revealing tops and eager young men wearing (at least in spirit) pocket protectors, the first brave soul, among those who braved the weather, to mount the bar top and boogie?

The winner: a slightly chubby young bloke with a Buddha smile, a low thick spike of hair, a blue shirt and a dance repertoire that is best described as minimalist, but that inspired… a woman, in a citrus-yellow tank top, and two friends to jump up and perform some slightly (correction: infinitely) more sultry moves, which inspired… a goateed man and a black-clad woman–a mover and a shaker–to parade up and down the bar top, which inspired… Lulu and Lala, who by day hold what most people would consider respectable professions and who by night live out some Flashdance-Fly Girl fantasy, which inspired… well, you get the picture. And it’s certainly not one that appeals to the prudes or the sophisticate wannabes, but for the couple of hundred people on a dark and stormy night, it was what it was, which was good, clean fun.

Lulu and Lala danced for over an hour, while I looked after the bags and kept hydrated with a too-weak Gin and Tonic and a passable Long Island. I also learned from Browns supervisor Jackie Lin that a new Happy Hour was planned, from 5-9 PM, with two-for-one drinks, 25-kuai bottled beer and 20 percent off draft.

Then, just as the monkeys had once come down from the trees to found the human race, now the humans—that would be Lulu and Lala–came down from the bar to find perhaps not a monkey, but a guy hopping around a bit like one due to a desperate need to visit the little boy’s room. The timing was auspicious as I entered and found one of the century’s more fascinating discourses on music playing out (in all places) at the urinals by (of all people) the two patrons beside me — one wearing a baseball cap backwards (always fashionable in some place, somewhere) and one wearing day-glo sunglasses. As I cannot simultaneously answer the call of nature and take notes, I can only provide the gist of their exchange:

“Duuuuuuuuuude.”

“Yeah, dude?”

“Awesome music…”

“Excellent.”

“I mean, this is… it’s… I love this stuff.”

“It’s chill.”

I am not making light of their choice of words per se, but rather their admiration of a music set that included Michael Jackson, Nancy Sinatra, ACDC and The Village People. Yes, people had been dancing, but surely better song combinations exist. Furthermore, can any self-respecting backwards-baseball-hat-wearing person describe a set that contains nary a Backstreet Boys song “chill”?

I returned to the bar somewhat more sober and when “Thriller” came on for the second time, or was it the third, Lulu, Lala and I headed to… the second floor of The World of Suzie Wong’s, which has a good chance of winning top prize as most likely bar in which to catch an airborne STD. Of course, I’m kidding, since everyone knows that such diseases usually come from bodily contact, but… now that I think of it… that place is crowded and there are a high number of sleazy types per square meter…

While Lulu and Lala were in line to check in their shoes or their belts or their whatever (morals?), I slid almost horizontal into a big chair by the door and, quite bored, started giving people that old point-the-gun greeting. I could be wrong, but I think it was invented in the 1970s, during the Saturday Night Fever era. It entails sticking out your hand as if it were a gun, with the index finger being the barrel, and pretending to shoot someone, all while happily smiling at him/her. It’s supposed to mean: “Hi there!” The proper response in this case: a scowl or a feigned punch at me for engaging in such behavior in a club. The actual response: EVERY person who passed returned my greeting, often with TWO guns and BIGGER smiles. They were a friendly (and stylish) lot and I already feel bad about my sleaze comment, so I should clarify that I don’t think all or even most people are like that in Suzy Wong, just a significant minority. (Actually, before Suzy Wong fans email me en masse, let me say I like the place. It has some decent drinks, an interesting decor upstairs and an excellent deck, but there just seems to be something… creepy… about that second floor).

Lulu and Lala eventually checked in and in we went. The place is large and, on this night, sweaty and swarming. A sizeable bar dominates the area near the door. We grabbed drinks, peered about, and Lala found her friends. They were all male and I could sense the possibility of a game of “crowd out the guy we don’t know by slowly moving together so that our shoulders create a barricade that places us between him and the womenfolk.” I hung about for a bit and then headed to the deck for a break. It was still pouring and I parked in a chair under an umbrella, chatted with other Floor Two Refugees, and regularly sent SMS to Lulu to monitor the situation. When three messages went unreturned, I realized a chilling possibility: given the massive amounts of cologne worn by the male clientele, her cell phone might have not only been shorted out, but also she might be drowning! I rushed downstairs (after finishing my drink) and she and Lala were near the dance floor with the kind of look of terror that probably inspired the line in Hotel California, “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.” Luckily, I did not have to use my Brazilian Jiu-jitsu skills as a Pussycat Dolls song distracted people long enough for us to make an escape. The moral of the story: The Eagles were wrong!

(From Beijing Boyce XVIII, first emailed on June 8, 2006)

Here are (mostly) brief write-ups on the various venues at which I’ve watched World Cup games.

BROWNS

Germany vs. Costa Rica: This place was wild during the game and the party rocked on afterwards as the (mostly German) fans made ample use of the beer taps and the bar top. The usually empty back room was packed with chairs, tables and patrons. Browns has three huge screens and plenty of small ones, has recently added Beck’s and Stella Artois to its draft beer selection, and gives out handy World Cup schedules. I’ve generally heard good reports from readers about this place.

THE PAVILLION

Serbia and Montenegro vs. Netherlands: The front end of what is arguably the best patio in town was fairly full, with a handful of people inside. The food was limited to a BBQ buffet, which was disappointing, because I had been craving nachos on the way over. Qingdao was on special. The Pavillion has two big projection screens outside and ample smaller screens inside. It’s one of the more relaxing places in town, though I’ve heard mixed reviews about the service.

THE DEN

Iran vs. Mexico: The tasty four-cheese pizza and cold Qingdao was offset by loud dance music (Ace of Base anyone?), which meant no commentary, which helps explain why the place was nearly empty, which was unfortunate as this was a great game. The service was good.

BEER MANIA

England vs. Paraguay: A bit smaller and more subdued than the average venue, this is a cozy place to watch games while quaffing Delirium Tremors (both blond and dark). The owners recently installed a decent-sized projection screen, though I unfortunately caught what was arguably the most game so far on it.

JOHN BULL PUB

Australia vs. Japan: While a small group watched the small bar-side TV upstairs, a handful of us waited by the big screen as two employees futilely tried to get the projector working. I spent 15 minutes watching as they flicked buttons, a waitress shrugged her shoulders and a rough-looking patron yelled about “Dongbei ren” at his acquaintance, then gave myself a red card and left.

W SPORTS BAR

Australia vs. Japan: About 50 boisterous Australian fans were enjoying, on two big screens, a late rally and win by their team (Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oy, oy, oy!). The staff here can handle a bottle opener, but don’t think of asking anything as complicated as, “Is there a World Cup special?” As the only Swedish bar in town, W sends emails calling those from the land of ABBA for their home games.

PHIL’S PUB

South Korea vs. Togo: The number of teams playing in this game, two, was equal to the number of patrons at the bar. It was me and M-Dawg, and his presence had less to do with watching football (Chinese commentary), than with Phil’s letting us to order yangrou chuar from next door. That didn’t stop M-Dawg, who has a friend from Togo, from positing that football is the primitive forerunner of basketball. “At one point, thousands of years ago, a player decided to pick up the ball and throw it into the net, but they found that was too easy, so they made the net smaller and put it into the air, and that’s how we got basketball.” Perhaps, in light of this (voiced) theory, the lack of patrons / football fans was fortuitous.

THE PAVILLION

Spain vs. Ukraine: I went there for work-related reasons and stuck around for the game. The patio was half-full, with seats at the picnic tables available, and the barbecue sizzling away. Pavillion has set up a temporary bar, with four or five draft taps, outside.

FRANK’S PLACE

Ecuador vs. Costa Rica: A friend and I popped into the reincarnation of Beijing’s oldest non-hotel bar. He was impressed with the live guitarist before the game (tunes ranging from Neil Young‘s “Harvest Moon” to John Lennon‘s “Jealous Guy”), the screen on the sparsely populated deck out back (“If you could accuse that screen of anything, you could say you’ve never seen such a clear projection“) and the deck itself (“awesome”). And rather than whisking away my glass and its last swig, as is so common, the waiter asked if I had finished it. Nice.

Unfortunately, this was the exception rather than the rule. The staff didn’t know the price of the special (BBQ plus one Carlsberg for 60 kuai) and first forgot our beer, then our food, then our utensils. They took my after-dinner drink order but not my friend’s, charged us for a Guinness we didn’t drink, wrongly recalculated our bill, and forgot my receipt. As for the drinks, my friend’s two Whisky Sodas looked and tasted completely different, and my Martini came with a massive lemon slice on the rim (!), though the Long Island was decent.

This first experience of the fully functioning Frank’s was slightly surprising given the bar’s team of expatriate employees, numerous investors with Beijing bar scene knowledge, and seemingly eager local employees, including a number plucked from Browns. Several readers have cited similar service problems, though I’ve also indirectly heard that Frank’s is a great place to watch the World Cup, especially since there are eight TVs inside in addition to the one out back (there is also a two-for-one special on Heineken). This is still a nice place to watch games and let’s hope they get the kinks worked out with service soon.

RITAN PARK CENTRAL COMPOUND

England vs. Trinidad and Tobago: I envisioned a garbage-strewn field surrounded by pungent portable toilets, but instead found the one must-visit venue for World Cup viewing. The games are shown in the central compound, on the altar once used for sacrifices to the Sun god, where two big screens are mounted. One has English commentary and the other Chinese commentary, making it amusing as those watching the latter wait in anticipation every time they hear the cheers and groans of those watching the former. The compound is surrounded by circular walls, adorned with Chinese carvings, surrounded by trees. Call it a giant yurt with the top down. There is plenty of seating, all the Qingdao (15 kuai) you could want, and Mojitos (25 kuai), Espresso (around 15 kuai), pizza and more from Havana Light. The only drawbacks: the toilets are, in fact, a bit gross, and by the time the final game ends, the sun is up and it’s hard to see the screens. The entry fee is 30 kuai and includes one beer. An added benefit is that you can pop over to Stone Boat in the late evening for some great live music.

BEER MANIA

Argentina vs. Serbia and Montenegro: I arrived with Argentina winning 3-0 and before I finished my beer and my ham and cheese sandwich, it was 6-0. If anyone’s team is ahead and needs insurance goals, I’m willing to stop by and provide my luck, in exchange for pints and snacks.

RITAN PARK CENTRAL COMPOUND

Ghana vs. Czech; Italy vs. U.S.: What a great place to witness the fastest-paced and arguably most exciting game so far, as Ghana won its first World Cup match by knocking off the highly ranked Czech team, 2-0. They now need to beat the U.S., which put up a ferocious battle against Italy, and benefited greatly from that country’s own goal. Three red cards, a bloodied face, and a futile Italian corner kick in each of the final five minutes. Great games, great location, great fun.

BROWNS

Japan vs. Croatia: Browns is simply a fun place to watch the game, given its good beer selection, tasty food and good layout. This is one place that does not have to be full to have a lot of energy in the air. The big group of Japanese fans beside me had a great time, although I think some of them had ulcers after that tight game, and as they headed out, the Brazilians flowed in, as Browns is apparently their World Cup home base (witness the huge flag on the east wall). This place is probably your best bet if you’re looking for a crowd.

BEER MANIA

Brazil vs. Australia: It was on the way home! There were more people sitting out in front (five) than inside watching the game (three), with Chinese commentary, but who cares when you are watching a valiant effort by Australia and sipping a Caipirinha made by manager Marc.

JOHN BULL PUB

Mexico vs. Portugal: What a difference a quesadilla makes! John Bull Pub has been serving up authentic Mexican food on Fridays and Saturdays and did it again for this Wednesday night game. The result: tasty food and lots of people. Good time all around.

(From Beijing Boyce XIX, first emailed on June 21, 2006)

From early afternoon to late evening the rain drummed roofs, drenched streets and inspired people to place potted plants beneath ceiling drips. Such a relentless downpour sent many citizens scurrying home from work to tuck themselves safely indoors. But it also invigorated the night owls, who shook weather from feather and decided it was time to head out and party.

In this spirit, my visiting friend Lulu and her friend Lala and I splashed to Browns, which almost always offers good clean fun. It was near midnight and the place was near full. We sipped our drinks and wondered who would be, out of a crowd heavy that night with lithe young women in belly-revealing tops and eager young men wearing (at least in spirit) pocket protectors, the first brave soul, among those who braved the weather, to mount the bar top and boogie?

The winner: a slightly chubby young bloke with a Buddha smile, a low thick spike of hair, a blue shirt and a dance repertoire that is best described as minimalist, but that inspired… a woman, in a citrus-yellow tank top, and two friends to jump up and perform some slightly (correction: infinitely) more sultry moves, which inspired… a goateed man and a black-clad woman–a mover and a shaker–to parade up and down the bar top, which inspired… Lulu and Lala, who by day hold what most people would consider respectable professions and who by night live out some Flashdance-Fly Girl fantasy, which inspired… well, you get the picture. And it’s certainly not one that appeals to the prudes or the sophisticate wannabes, but for the couple of hundred people on a dark and stormy night, it was what it was, which was good, clean fun.

Lulu and Lala danced for over an hour, while I looked after the bags and kept hydrated with a too-weak Gin and Tonic and a passable Long Island. I also learned from Browns supervisor Jackie Lin that a new Happy Hour was planned, from 5-9 PM, with two-for-one drinks, 25-kuai bottled beer and 20 percent off draft.

Then, just as the monkeys had once come down from the trees to found the human race, now the humans—that would be Lulu and Lala–came down from the bar to find perhaps not a monkey, but a guy hopping around a bit like one due to a desperate need to visit the little boy’s room. The timing was auspicious as I entered and found one of the century’s more fascinating discourses on music playing out (in all places) at the urinals by (of all people) the two patrons beside me — one wearing a baseball cap backwards (always fashionable in some place, somewhere) and one wearing day-glo sunglasses. As I cannot simultaneously answer the call of nature and take notes, I can only provide the gist of their exchange:

“Duuuuuuuuuude.”

“Yeah, dude?”

“Awesome music…”

“Excellent.”

“I mean, this is… it’s… I love this stuff.”

“It’s chill.”

I am not making light of their choice of words per se, but rather their admiration of a music set that included Michael Jackson, Nancy Sinatra, ACDC and The Village People. Yes, people had been dancing, but surely better song combinations exist. Furthermore, can any self-respecting backwards-baseball-hat-wearing person describe a set that contains nary a Backstreet Boys song “chill”?

I returned to the bar somewhat more sober and when “Thriller” came on for the second time, or was it the third, Lulu, Lala and I headed to…

the second floor of The World of Suzie Wong’s, which has a good chance of winning top prize as most likely bar in which to catch an airborne STD. Of course, I’m kidding, since everyone knows that such diseases usually come from bodily contact, but… now that I think of it… that place is crowded and there are a high number of sleazy types per square meter…

While Lulu and Lala were in line to check in their shoes or their belts or their whatever (morals?), I slid almost horizontal into a big chair by the door and, quite bored, started giving people that old point-the-gun greeting. I could be wrong, but I think it was invented in the 1970s, during the Saturday Night Fever era. It entails sticking out your hand as if it were a gun, with the index finger being the barrel, and pretending to shoot someone, all while happily smiling at him/her. It’s supposed to mean: “Hi there!” The proper response in this case: a scowl or a feigned punch at me for engaging in such behavior in a club. The actual response: EVERY person who passed returned my greeting, often with TWO guns and BIGGER smiles. They were a friendly (and stylish) lot and I already feel bad about my sleaze comment, so I should clarify that I don’t think all or even most people are like that in Suzy Wong, just a significant minority. (Actually, before Suzy Wong fans email me en masse, let me say I like the place. It has some decent drinks, an interesting decor upstairs and an excellent deck, but there just seems to be something… creepy… about that second floor).

Lulu and Lala eventually checked in and in we went. The place is large and, on this night, sweaty and swarming. A sizeable bar dominates the area near the door. We grabbed drinks, peered about, and Lala found her friends. They were all male and I could sense the possibility of a game of “crowd out the guy we don’t know by slowly moving together so that our shoulders create a barricade that places us between him and the womenfolk.” I hung about for a bit and then headed to the deck for a break. It was still pouring and I parked in a chair under an umbrella, chatted with other Floor Two Refugees, and regularly sent SMS to Lulu to monitor the situation. When three messages went unreturned, I realized a chilling possibility: given the massive amounts of cologne worn by the male clientele, her cell phone might have not only been shorted out, but also she might be drowning! I rushed downstairs (after finishing my drink) and she and Lala were near the dance floor with the kind of look of terror that probably inspired the line in Hotel California, “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.” Luckily, I did not have to use my Brazilian Jiu-jitsu skills as a Pussycat Dolls song distracted people long enough for us to make an escape. The moral of the story: The Eagles were wrong!

(From Beijing Boyce XVIII, first emailed on June 8, 2006)

From early afternoon to late evening the rain drummed roofs, drenched streets and inspired people to place potted plants beneath ceiling drips. Such a relentless downpour sent many citizens scurrying home from work to tuck themselves safely indoors. But it also invigorated the night owls, who shook weather from feather and decided it was time to head out and party.

In this spirit, my visiting friend Lulu and her friend Lala and I splashed to Browns, which almost always offers good clean fun. It was near midnight and the place was near full. We sipped our drinks and wondered who would be, out of a crowd heavy that night with lithe young women in belly-revealing tops and eager young men wearing (at least in spirit) pocket protectors, the first brave soul, among those who braved the weather, to mount the bar top and boogie?

The winner: a slightly chubby young bloke with a Buddha smile, a low thick spike of hair, a blue shirt and a dance repertoire that is best described as minimalist, but that inspired… a woman, in a citrus-yellow tank top, and two friends to jump up and perform some slightly (correction: infinitely) more sultry moves, which inspired… a goateed man and a black-clad woman–a mover and a shaker–to parade up and down the bar top, which inspired… Lulu and Lala, who by day hold what most people would consider respectable professions and who by night live out some Flashdance-Fly Girl fantasy, which inspired… well, you get the picture. And it’s certainly not one that appeals to the prudes or the sophisticate wannabes, but for the couple of hundred people on a dark and stormy night, it was what it was, which was good, clean fun.

Lulu and Lala danced for over an hour, while I looked after the bags and kept hydrated with a too-weak Gin and Tonic and a passable Long Island. I also learned from Browns supervisor Jackie Lin that a new Happy Hour was planned, from 5-9 PM, with two-for-one drinks, 25-kuai bottled beer and 20 percent off draft.

Then, just as the monkeys had once come down from the trees to found the human race, now the humans—that would be Lulu and Lala–came down from the bar to find perhaps not a monkey, but a guy hopping around a bit like one due to a desperate need to visit the little boy’s room. The timing was auspicious as I entered and found one of the century’s more fascinating discourses on music playing out (in all places) at the urinals by (of all people) the two patrons beside me — one wearing a baseball cap backwards (always fashionable in some place, somewhere) and one wearing day-glo sunglasses. As I cannot simultaneously answer the call of nature and take notes, I can only provide the gist of their exchange:

“Duuuuuuuuuude.”

“Yeah, dude?”

“Awesome music…”

“Excellent.”

“I mean, this is… it’s… I love this stuff.”

“It’s chill.”

I am not making light of their choice of words per se, but rather their admiration of a music set that included Michael Jackson, Nancy Sinatra, ACDC and The Village People. Yes, people had been dancing, but surely better song combinations exist. Furthermore, can any self-respecting backwards-baseball-hat-wearing person describe a set that contains nary a Backstreet Boys song “chill”?

I returned to the bar somewhat more sober and when “Thriller” came on for the second time, or was it the third, Lulu, Lala and I headed to…

the second floor of The World of Suzie Wong’s, which has a good chance of winning top prize as most likely bar in which to catch an airborne STD. Of course, I’m kidding, since everyone knows that such diseases usually come from bodily contact, but… now that I think of it… that place is crowded and there are a high number of sleazy types per square meter…

While Lulu and Lala were in line to check in their shoes or their belts or their whatever (morals?), I slid almost horizontal into a big chair by the door and, quite bored, started giving people that old point-the-gun greeting. I could be wrong, but I think it was invented in the 1970s, during the Saturday Night Fever era. It entails sticking out your hand as if it were a gun, with the index finger being the barrel, and pretending to shoot someone, all while happily smiling at him/her. It’s supposed to mean: “Hi there!” The proper response in this case: a scowl or a feigned punch at me for engaging in such behavior in a club. The actual response: EVERY person who passed returned my greeting, often with TWO guns and BIGGER smiles. They were a friendly (and stylish) lot and I already feel bad about my sleaze comment, so I should clarify that I don’t think all or even most people are like that in Suzy Wong, just a significant minority. (Actually, before Suzy Wong fans email me en masse, let me say I like the place. It has some decent drinks, an interesting decor upstairs and an excellent deck, but there just seems to be something… creepy… about that second floor).

Lulu and Lala eventually checked in and in we went. The place is large and, on this night, sweaty and swarming. A sizeable bar dominates the area near the door. We grabbed drinks, peered about, and Lala found her friends. They were all male and I could sense the possibility of a game of “crowd out the guy we don’t know by slowly moving together so that our shoulders create a barricade that places us between him and the womenfolk.” I hung about for a bit and then headed to the deck for a break. It was still pouring and I parked in a chair under an umbrella, chatted with other Floor Two Refugees, and regularly sent SMS to Lulu to monitor the situation. When three messages went unreturned, I realized a chilling possibility: given the massive amounts of cologne worn by the male clientele, her cell phone might have not only been shorted out, but also she might be drowning! I rushed downstairs (after finishing my drink) and she and Lala were near the dance floor with the kind of look of terror that probably inspired the line in Hotel California, “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.” Luckily, I did not have to use my Brazilian Jiu-jitsu skills as a Pussycat Dolls song distracted people long enough for us to make an escape. The moral of the story: The Eagles were wrong!

(From Beijing Boyce XVIII, first emailed on June 8, 2006)

The oldest non-hotel bar in Beijing, Frank’s Place is back after a facelift and a change of scenery. A good portion of the city’s long-term expatriate drinking crowd showed up last Saturday night for an invite-only launch party and reminisced about the place’s original 1989 version, which was beside the City Hotel and reduced to rubble last year.* The reincarnation, across from Rosedale Hotel, is a high-end sports bar that offers excellent decor, layout and seating options, including sofas, booths, bar stools, and decks front and back, all of which were full of boisterous patrons fueled by a free flow of wine, beer, and barbecued burgers and hot dogs.

Manager Chris Adams had things smoothly running on opening night and Glenn Phelan** has joined the staff after a recent stint at Browns. He obviously copied the latter’s CDs, given the excess of old Michael Jackson songs. Mercifully, these were broken up by classics such as “Jump, Jump” by Kriss Kross and “Borderline” by Madonna. (Okay, I’ll stop being sarcastic now. Welcome back to Beijing, Glenn.) The homemade “Frank’s Place” theme song was a fun touch.***

Frank’s Place seems likely to be popular with older expatriates, including those who patronized the original bar, who drive home to Shunyi from work downtown, who one cynical acquaintance later suggested are stuck in 1996 (ouch!), and who know one or more of the 24 investors (those I’ve met fancy a drink or two, preferably with friends, which should help business). The bar should draw some locals as well as people coming to the area to visit Frank’s, its accompanying restaurant and wine cellar, and nearby establishments, such as Il Casale and Nhu. As for prices, Guinness is 50 kuai per pint, house red and white ranges are 40-60 and 30-45 kuai respectively, and standard mixed drinks are 40 kuai. A pint of Qingdao will cost you 25 kuai.

Frank’s is on the main floor of a three-story establishment called Trio, which includes The Park Grill upstairs (opened June 4) and wine-centric The Cellar downstairs (set to open June 13). The triumvirate reportedly cost around USD1 million (including rent). The Cellar is unique to Beijing, with pint-sized suits of armor and wrought-iron doors up front, an arched roof, stucco and brickwork in a Southern European style and, for members of “Club 88,” onsite storage space for up to 32 bottles of wine. ASC Fine Wines, sole TRIO wine supplier, held a Penfold tasting in The Cellar during the launch party and it proved to be an enjoyable, though potentially noisy, place to swirl a glass of red and nibble on cheese, olives and bread, before heading upstairs to sit on the deck.****

* Frank’s Place is named after Frank Siegel, now of John Bull Pub and Sequoia Cafe fame, who started the bar in 1989 and then sold his shares to Russell Probert and Roger Dutton in the late-1990s. The original venue was chai’d last year and Probert has since opened The Pavillion, on Gongti West Road, while Dutton is part of the team that re-opened the new Frank’s Place. Frank and Jennifer Siegel were on hand for the opening.

** Glenn Phelan originally came to Beijing to work for The Pavillion last fall. Early this year, he left the Pavillion and took a position at Browns a few days after it launched. In May, he left Browns and returned home briefly – I seem to remember him saying something about brining back some Whisky from the smallest distillery in the land, but I digress – and has now not only joined Frank’s Place, but also a list of intriguing Beijing bar people, which includes ASC Wine Owner Don St. Pierre, bartenders George Zhou and Echo Sun, and Agent Red Wolf.

*** Roger Dutton says that the theme song was “written, performed and produced” by 3Media Group (his media company) in Beijing and by 26 Music of Vienna, the latter being “the yodeling connection.” The song is about meeting, eating and drinking, he says, and “the very bad jokes on the ‘un-cut version’ were recorded by [investor] Haemish Campbell and me.”

**** And on the deck, enjoying glass number eight or so, Roger, Frank, Jennifer and I were making sounds with our mouths that we, at least, considered to be words, and stumbled on one of those ironies of irony. In short, Roger got inspiration for some seating in the new Frank’s Place from an Irish pub in Ulan Bator. The Irish Pub had earlier gotten its inspiration from John Bull Pub. And since Frank Siegel manages John Bull and created the original Frank’s Place, it seemed like everything had come full circle, completed the circuit, was all’s well that end’s well, it’s a small, small world. Well, this all *seemed* profound at the time. By the way, Frank will soon open his second Sequoia Cafe, in Sanlitun, and says that Hooters, for whom he consults, will open a Beijing branch close to Worker’s Stadium.

(From Beijing Boyce XVIII, first emailed on June 8, 2006)

Looking for your World Cup fix? The Pavillion and Frank’s Place promise large outdoor screens, while Club Football, Red Ball, John Bull Pub, The Den, Goose and Duck (see below), W Sports Bar, Mojito, and everyone else and their goalkeeper will also be showing games. Is anyone out there (besides me) looking for a place to instead watch the NBA finals? / Beer Mania has added Russian brews to its mostly Belgian menu. Canadian beers will soon be stocked, says management, meaning it’s time to brush up on Canuck-isms, such as “two-four,” “toque,” “take off” and “LCBO.” / Meanwhile, Browns has added Beck’s (Germany) and Stella Artois (Belgium) to its draft beer selection. / A friendly place with good live Xinjiang music, Cheers has a spiffy new look, though management has maintained the happy hour: two-for-one until 10 PM, which translates into 10-kuai Qingdao drafts. (A tip of the shot glass to BB reader Eddie O, for buying the place a bottle of Wild Turkey: “If you’re a Christian, you spread the Gospel. If you’re a bourbon lover, you spread the Bird,” he writes.) / Speaking of which, after visiting Cheers, I had the munchies and headed for nearby Saddle. Given my previous experiences with poor service and fapiao troubles there, it was no surprise that I could not procure a quick burrito as the staff closed up. I took my money instead to Fish Nation, where I soon had some tasty eats. / Dave McCullough, the Grand Poohba of 5:19, noted on that’s Beijing’s forums that, “PiliPili quietly reopened… It looks absolutely gorgeous inside.” / Finally, this issue was pieced together fairly quickly, since I’ve been extra busy at work, have guests in town, and did not have my notes while putting together the final draft. My apologies if it goes down a bit rougher than usual.

(From Beijing Boyce XVII, first emailed on May 27, 2006)

A sizeable structure has emerged on the site of the old Maggie’s and my guess is that some new establishments will soon open and take advantage of the view of the nearby pond. / The pool table at John Bull Pub is still for sale. Contact Frank at 13901-238-863 for details. / Listening to some Beastie Boys tunes from the last millennium, I came across this classic reference to wine: “Like a bottle of Chateauneuf Du Pape, I’m fine like wine when I start to rap” (from the 1998 song Body Movin’). / And speaking of music, I witnessed, at Browns, a man attempt to impress a woman by singing (and acting out) the entire lyrics of the Blondie song “Rapture.” It was scary. Even the memory of it is scary. Someone hold me. / Barring that, eat, drink and be merry, BB.

(From Beijing Boyce XVII, first emailed on May 27, 2006) 

Razed. Chai’d. Bye bye’d. Beijing’s three-meter salute to drinking – the Sanlitun beer mug — was not only a dispenser of cigarettes, gum and beer, but also a reference point for locating dozens of bars. Now it’s gone, tossed on the dust heap of history in what is already a very dusty city. Not even a cement coaster remains. As always, change is in the air and Opening Shots covers eight bar scene developments.

ONE

Crisis at First Cafe: it was long my favorite bar but cocktail quality has slid quite a bit during the past year, though the ambience remains good. With the nearby beer mug gone, what does fate hold for this cozy watering hole, especially given that its sign has been turned off for nearly two weeks?

TWO

Meanwhile, ex-First Cafe, ex-Midnight bartenders George Zhou and Echo Sun nearly have Q Bar ready atop the Eastern Inn on Sanlitun South. The place will have dim lighting, cozy couches, and jazz and blues music, with the interior and deck much more spacious than what George and Echo have before handled. The wildcard is the cocktails — their claim to fame — and whether the (quality) martinis will smoothly flow should the place hit its peak capacity of over one hundred people.

(By the way, some wonder why I so regularly write about George and Echo. In short, they epitomize everything about opportunity in China. A couple of years ago, they were out-of-town novice bartenders, learning their craft and making little money. They worked hard, built up their mixing skills, bar knowledge and a loyal following, and now have their own place. To me, that is a compelling story.)

Q Bar will fully open in early June…

THREE

… as will TRIO, with a soft opening on Friday (May 12). Near the Rosedale Park, Japanese School and Si-de Park, TRIO has a piano bar and a New York-style grill on the top floor, the new Frank’s Place at ground level, and The Cellar in the, uh, cellar. This is a major project and the big question is whether it can stick in an area that is not exactly known for nightlife. The Cellar itself is unique in Beijing with its wrought iron doors, stucco walls, arch ceiling, earthy feel and focus on wine. There will be a Club 88, with an 8888 kuai initial investment and 3888 kuai annual fee, where members receive free wine dinners and cooking classes, discounts on wine, and a 32-bottle onsite storage space (lock and key included). The top floor grill, complete with baby grand piano, seats 50, while Frank’s Place holds 110 and has a pool table, a bar, eight TVs and outdoor seating in front and back. (Thanks to investor Roger Dutton for the tour.)

FOUR

Speaking of outdoors, The Pavillion now has a most pleasant patio. Comfy wicker chairs, lush grass, serene trees — a nice spot for a few pints or bottle of wine. (The cocktails are okay, though one Mojito came with uncrushed mint and the Long Island had too much Coke. Word has it that the food has greatly improved with ex-Aria chef Richard Millar now on hand.) This seems to be the Year of Outdoor Seating. There are newcomers, such as Frank’s Place, Le Petit Gourmand, 5:19, Cafe Pause, The Pomegranate and The Bookworm (though the nearby construction is annoying); old-timers, ranging from Bar Blu, Stone Boat and Le Quai to numerous Houhai spots; and more decks, patios and rooftops coming, such as at Blue Fox.

FIVE

Glenn, we hardly knew you! My suspicions about tensions between the owners and staff at Browns turned into reality as Glenn Phelan, who joined Browns when he left Pavillion after a three-month stint, resigned as floor manager (the DJ soon followed and there may be more fallout). Look for Glenn to have his own spot in a few months. Meanwhile, investor Philip Cheung says that Browns’ Russian sidebar will open next month and that ladies’ night, on Wednesdays, will be extended from 2 AM to 3 AM (the free drinks have been cut back to a select list of cocktails). As expected, Guinness and Kilkenny prices have risen to 40 kuai, from 35 kuai, which begs the question: when will they go up again?

SIX

Efforts to duplicate the Centro phenomenon continue with one high-end hotel recently launching Champagne and another expected to open a bar this summer. Palms threw its hat into the ring about six months ago, though it was quickly tossed back. Champagne might want to resist describing itself, in its adverts, as “fast becoming the hottest place in the city for Beijing’s social elite,” because if one of my visits was any indication, those elites number less than a dozen. It would be much more useful to study Centro‘s excellence in effectively welding great location with calculated and sustained marketing.

SEVEN

I recently wrote that Beijing’s cocktail scene was stumbling down the proverbial stairs. In hindsight, it might have been a case of “one step backward, two steps forward.” Q Bar is about to open, Garden of Delights serves up excellent Mojitos, Centro has upgraded its cocktail list, master mixer Marc van Bever has returned to Beer Mania (luckily that cast is on his ankle, not on his wrist), Jackie at Browns is sharpening his skills (Agent Red Wolf gave the Mojito a thumb up), Modern Nomads has those Chinggis vodka Martinis, and so on. Things do seem to be looking brighter.

(From Beijing Boyce XVI, first emailed on May 11, 2006)

Two tasty blue cheese martinis: 75 kuai. I had forgotten how agreeable happy hour is at Centro (to 8 PM). Even better, I hear bartender Bruce Li will soon have some new concoctions learned during a stint Down Under. / While Browns continues to bustle, Suzie Wong’s has a new first floor bar that has been, um, throbbing (see below). By the way, three Long Islands at Browns last Saturday: one was near perfect, one candy floss sweet, and one sans ice and Coke. Am I being too picky or just bitter that manager Glenn and supervisor Jackie nearly set me aflame recently (see below)? By the way, Chef John’s Buffalo-style wings (hints of blue cheese and basil) and spring rolls dipping sauce are excellent. / Down the street from old Sanlitun South is newly opened Sina ja Mina (“You and Me” in Finnish). It’s a bare bones bar (as are Sesame and Black Sun on the same street), but the owners are friendly and have Finnish drinks such as… well, only Finlandia vodka (25 kuai). M-Dawg found the apple juice (15 kuai) quite refreshing. / Rumor says a new Bookworm will soon wiggle onto the scene near Lido Hotel. / Andrew “Jr. Boy” Jones is playing at the Icehouse, April 5-30. / Q Bar, which will feature cocktails by ex-First Cafe, ex-Midnight bartenders Echo Sun and George Zhou, opens on the Eastern Hotel’s rooftop during second-half May. That’s walking distance to Sanlitun South (Modern Nomads, Beer Mania), Sanlitun North (Cheers, The Tree) and Gongti West (Pavillion, clubs galore). / Ah-Q is belting out jazz at Browns on Thursday nights until, it seems, CD Jazz Club reopens. I’m there now, as I finish this newsletter, and the place is packed. Browns might be wise to sign them on.

(From Beijing Boyce XV, first emailed on April 21, 2006)

I recently helped lead a pub crawl (see below), and as a reward for not losing any patrons or misdirecting any buses to Inner Mongolia, Agent Red Wolf ordered me a Flaming Lamborghini at Browns. Frankly, this beverage is in the same category as nonalcoholic beer, Chivas and green tea, and anything M-Dawg drinks (see the Grand Marnier and Soda incident; Beijing Boyce V).

But the intention was noble, so I settled back as manager Glenn and supervisor Jackie arranged a pyramid of glasses, started drizzling alcohol over it, and then–whoosh!–set the thing alight. I don’t like fire; even less, I don’t like sticking my face near fire; even less than less, I don’t like sticking my face near fire beside two guys who work in a bar that I might have criticized once (or perhaps twice). “Use the straw,” said Glenn. I stuck my face forward, tried to get at the liquid among the flames, and then retreated, having swallowed half a melted straw.

“You have to do it faster,” he added, no stranger to stating the obvious. Meanwhile, the alcohol Jackie continued pouring onto the bonfire of glasses splashed onto the table, which–whoosh!–also caught fire.

With a large crowd behind, I was wedged against the table and thus helpless as flames raced across it and toward an area of my body I consider quite personal. Time seemed to slow; the music seemed to garble; I had a “my life flashed before my eyes” moment. I remembered other near-death experiences in Beijing: that grilled meat platter at Schindler’s, that horrid martini at Palms, my attempt to cross a street that very morning. I also had a lingering thought: might I make money writing a screenplay about becoming a eunuch, by flame, in modern-day Beijing?

This, of course, all happened in a split second. Suddenly, Glenn swooped in and pushed back the flames with a cloth, to which the flames responded by rushing forth again, to which Glenn responded by again swooping, and so on, until I realized the problem: JACKIE WAS STILL POURING ALCOHOL ON THE FIRE!

I put an end to that. I grabbed the two shot glasses and drained the contents, little realizing they were close to boiling hot. Not pleasant, but then again, swollen lips are preferable to becoming a charred tribute to careless Flaming Lamborginiing. At least, I thought it was careless, until I had the following conversation with Glenn, a few days later:

“That was really wild the other night. You guys almost lit me on fire.”

“Almost doesn’t count.”

“Yes, but it was pretty close.”

“Perhaps not close enough.”

“It was close enough for me!”

“Did I ever tell you about an annoying patron I used to know named Flaming Fred?”

“What do you mean ‘used to know’!?”

Okay, I made that last part up. But, then again, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear Glenn say it. By the way, try the burgers at Browns. They’re cooked, over fire, one that’s far away from the patrons. (Note: Certain details have been dramatized or deleted, including the changing of a pair of underwear, in order to make this story flow.)

(From Beijing Boyce XV, first emailed on April 21, 2006)

My first “consulting” gig was two weeks ago as I was responsible — never before have I been paired with that word — for taking some three dozen visitors, from nearly every continent, on a pub crawl. Agent Red Wolf tagged along, but didn’t do much, except negotiate prices, direct buses, entertain guests, recommend drinks — the minor stuff. We first headed to Nuage, a relaxing spot with a great view of both Houhai and the drum and bell towers. With a few drinks and some Vietnamese food under our belts, we decided to indulge in “history” and went to Suzie Wong’s, which is among Beijing’ oldest clubs and has that opium den feel (plus, it was warm enough to sit on the deck). We then gathered our forces, save for the dozen of so defectors who either went back to the hotel (“8 AM climb on The Great Wall. What kind of excuse it that?”) or to Karaoke (“Hey, don’t you have an 8 AM climb?), and took our magic buses to Browns. There, manager Glenn Phelan’s smiling face greeted us at the door and the bar’s tasty snacks (Buffalo-style wings again!) greeted us inside. After a bit of boogying, a bit of people watching and a bit of drinking, we packed off our patrons to the hotel, who I hope were happy with their Beijing bar-hopping experience.

(From Beijing Boyce XV, first emailed on April 21, 2006)

Ex-First Cafe, ex-Midnight bartenders George Zhou and Echo Sun will launch Q Bar on Sanlitun North, near Beer Mania, with the soft opening due in early May. Backed by foreign investors, Q Bar will focus on — no surprise — cocktails and have outdoor seating. / Based on a dozen pass-bys, Midnight has seen a huge drop in business since losing its bartenders a month ago in a debacle that, on one hand, has been a lose-lose-lose situation for the owners, staff and customers, and on the other hand, business as usual in Beijing. / Meanwhile, First Cafe, my favorite bar from late 2004 to summer 2005, has gone from being the city’s best-kept secret to an overpriced drinking hole. The cozy ambience no longer compensates for the anemic Bloody Mary (40 kuai) and passable Gin and Tonic (50 kuai), unless one has an excess of money and a dearth of taste. If you go, eschew the cocktails for beer and shots. / Speaking of which, the cost of a Gin and Tonic, using Bombay Sapphire, at four places last Saturday night: Phil’s Pub, 20; icehouse, 40; First Cafe, 50; Champagne, 55.2 (yes, they actually charge miao). Phil’s offers great value; icehouse and Champagne feature bands (the former’s is particularly good), and First Cafe has some atmosphere and, uh, a sit-down toilet. / Mint shortage! Pavillion was out two weeks ago, Champagne and icehouse last Saturday, and Mexican Wave last Sunday, the latter denying Agent Red Wolf a taste of its Mojito just hours before she finalized her top-five list (see below). Is this a niche market for an herb entrepreneur or do bars simply find the Mojito too time-consuming to make? / ASC Fine Wines is celebrating its tenth anniversary. It’s been a decade for Don St. Pierre, Sr. and crew, and they are the team to beat when it comes to wine distribution in China . See Closing Shots for their celebratory wine and Riedel glass special. / The Big Easy is on the chai-ing block and April looks to be its last stand. Catch a final Bloody Mary on the veranda at one of Beijing ‘s landmark bars. / From Margaritas to Martinis, drinks are free for the ladies at Browns after 9 PM on Wednesdays. The downside: the gentlemen sometimes find their orders — those would be the drinks on which the bar MAKES money — backlogged behind 20 cocktails, even for something as simple as Whisky shots. / The Timeout readers’ party last Thursday at icehouse was packed and the band was rocking. The place was also hopping last Saturday night. That long hallway is still creepy and reminds me of “The Cask of Amontillado” (BYOT — Bring Your Own Trowel). / A Molinari Sambuca launch party was held in Beijing last Thursday at the ” European-style Conference Center ” in Chaoyang Park (thanks to SF for the invite). I found the cocktails either too sweet or too light, and instead took my Sambuca straight, which helped numb me toward the painfully bad presentation and foreign poseurs. Listening to three (translated) speeches was bearable, but pity the (Italian?) reps brought on stage some five times over ninety minutes, with almost everyone oblivious to them. And the following words, unless uttered for amusement purposes, should never start a speech at an alcohol launch: “In the course of human development…” By the way, these foreigners with weird glasses (i.e. primary blue with gold sparkles) and/or un-tucked designer dress shirts and/or the hair that’s supposed to look stylish but is more reminiscent of a bad mousse day and/or the “I’m a socialite in China, even though I’d be lucky to be runner up back home in a KFC assistant manager hiring campaign” attitude — where do they rent them? Uh oh, stop me, stop me… uh oh… I’m going… into… oh, no… day… dream… mode…

[I'm beside a guy wearing black heavy-rimmed glasses with mother-of-pearl inlay. His head is weighed down with mousse; he wears a neatly un-tucked dress shirt. When I first spoke to him, he gave me a look that said: "I'm in a charitable mood, so I will allow you to humor me." We have just exchanged "pleasantries."]

Me: “So, what do you do in Beijing ?” [Yes, that's a terrible question.]

Him: “What DON’T I do? Let’s just say that I’m in consulting.”

“Are you in any particular field?”

“Actually, I’m talented in numerous areas, but I guess if I had to pick one, I’d say communications.”

“That sounds, uh, extremely difficult.”

[My rapt attention has warmed him up. He re-untucks his shirt and continues.]

“Yes, it’s quite hard. I spend a lot of time on research, academic stuff, with a focus on a younger demographic. I’d hazard to call it leading edge, you know?”

[I nod, faux awe radiating outwards.]

“It’s very proactive. I get a chance to learn about them, they get a chance to learn about me; it’s the cross-cultural exchange I find so rewarding.”

“Hang on! You wouldn’t be consulting in ‘education,’ would you?”

“Uh, as I said, I think my field is best described as communications…”

“Hey, are you teaching English to kids!?”

With this, my “speaking partner,” as they say in his field, suddenly needs to refresh his drink.

This exchange is an exaggeration, of course, but there are a lot of poseurs out there. I recommend that expatriates ask themselves at least once a month: if I suddenly had to return home, what kind of job could I get? For the vast majority of us, the answer is humbling. [By the way, I'm not criticizing English teachers, as many are hardworking and dedicated, and many of the most successful people I know were English teachers at one time, so please save the hate e-mail, even though it would probably have fewer spelling mistakes than most of the stuff I get. Actually, I don't even want to criticize poseurs, either. Please DON'T start tucking in your shirts! Enjoy it while it lasts, and remember, this was all just a daydream. Now, back to opening shots...]

The Pavillion has moved its furniture about, printed new menus, and dropped the price on drinks, or at least on Long Islands . When I visited two weeks ago, the proprietor Russell Probert kindly treated me to a beer and said work was about to begin out back, where a Mediterranean restaurant will be added and landscaping done. / Le Petit Gourmand’s new sundeck is, by all reports, very cozy. Since my “live bug falling out of Parmesan can and onto pizza” incident earlier this year, I’ve only been back once and stuck to the high-value lattes — big mug, 15 kuai. / I went to Saddle and ordered the large burrito (50 kuai; didn’t the same size used to be 35 kuai?). The waitress leaned against the counter, loudly chewed her gum (mouth wide open) and cow-stared as I ate my meal. Not comfortable. The music, which included John Cougar and Ram Jam, was good. / Last week, I reported that Trio will soon open across from the Lido Hotel. It’s actually the Rosedale Hotel. / Cafe Pause will apparently change its menu — again. The blue cheese and spinach dumplings with pesto sauce were fantastic, everyone loved them, and I was annoyed they were no longer available when I recently hiked all the way to Dashanzi. Consistency, especially with the good things in life (like blue cheese dumplings), is a virtue. / I really enjoy the unpretentious patrons and atmosphere at Modern Nomads. Simply put, it’s a fun to place to kick back for an hour, sip a Mongolian vodka martini and watch live throat singing and pop music.

(From Beijing Boyce XIV, first emailed on April 6, 2006)