Beijing Boyce

Browns replaced by a restaurant called Revelations? A place called The Rickshaw becoming a hotspot? Large-scale outfits RBL, Rui Fu and nhu biting the dust? Good Chinese wine popping up in bars, restaurants and five-star hotels? They’re all part of Beijing’s 2007 nightlife story. A few highlights from that tale, as seen in this blog…

January-February

Now, *that’s* a topic for a blues song
Backed by Handel Lee (The Courtyard, Three on the Bund), featuring live Chicago blues bands in Icehouse, and lacking obvious signage on a street heavily visited by tourists, RBL sinks in Wangfujing and drags down more investors than you can count on your fingers. The venue is expected to resurface this year in Lee’s next project - The Legation. Perhaps, the best take on this is from a reader.

See Meltdown at Icehouse; Icehouse: Did It Stand a Snowball’s Chance?

Dang, my tanktop is at the cleaners
My first pub crawl of 2007 is with Eddie O. We hit Cheers (Wild Turkey and live Xinjiang music), China Doll (people watching), Swing (great band but minimal toilet facilities; as Eddie says, “They want you to buy the beer here and process it somewhere else”) and Browns (featuring what seem to be bit players from The Dukes of Hazzard or Talladega Nights).

See On the Go with Eddie O (Again)

Then I craved sunflower seeds
Rather than allow a rude mobile phone-using jerk in The Bookworm raise my blood pressure, Beijing Boyce (v2007) uses the inane conversation to play a game.

See Choose the gerbil! 

And he even started to like sparkling wine
Frank Siegel holds his first weekly wine tasting of 2007 at Sequoia Café, with four wines and five cheeses from Canada. Over the next year, he will build the city’s best wine community as he covers vino from six continents, organizes vertical, varietal and blind tastings, brings in winemakers and winery owners, and patronizes a wide range of distributors.

See Say Cheese, Eh?

Buy 2, get 1… hey, wait a minute!
Reigning “bar of the year” Browns nears its first anniversary - bad specials, rotating personnel and unfinished décor suggest the place is on the decline and needs to get its act together. Six months later, the place is closed, with its contents gutted and the whereabouts of its managing partner a mystery.

See Browns: Love It…?

Neither do references to “smoked meat”
Taking a page from danwei.org, I sex up the site to see if it generates traffic. I learn that deliberately including typos - i.e. changing Tim’s Texas BBQ to Tim’s Sex-Ass BBQ – doesn’t work.

See Did Someone Say Sex?

If anyone needs some quality used underwear…
The newsletter that spun off this blog reaches its thirty-third edition and… 100,000 words. Book deal, reality TV show and newspaper column offers pour in, a flock of 88 doves continually circles my whereabouts, thousands of women throw their panties on stage, and global peace / a baby boom ensues. Or, I start working on the next 100,000 words. It was one of those two…

Please save the “leaded or unleaded” jokes
My mission for 2007: find seven decent Chinese wines that you can buy in Beijing for less than 700 kuai total. My first blind tasting: during Chinese New Year, with ten wines, seven tasters and a few clear winners. (Note: the best wine glass deal is at the Flower Market, where 22-ounce, thin-rimmed, Bordeaux-style Stone Island beauties are 10 kuai or less.)

See Say Grace: The search for seven good Chinese wines, part 1

All in the name of science
The Bourbon, Rye and Whisky League (BRAWL) meets at Tim’s Texas BBQ (now Sequoia Café) for a blind tasting of Kentucky Bourbon, Irish Whisky, Scotch and Canadian Rye. The Rye (Alberta Springs) edges the Irish Whisky (Bushmills) as favorite.

See BRAWL makes the call

Hints of minerals, notes of worms
Campbell Thompson gets down to earth and provides wine advice for an Inner Mongolian woman who subsists solely on dirt. Think about “terroir”, says he.

See A Shovel-full of Your Finest, Please

Or perhaps it’s a sprouting potato?
My long-standing discussion with Eddie O as to whether the Jagermeister mascot is a moose or a reindeer continues into the New Year.

See Moose or Reindeer?

Browns, which less than two years ago ranked among the city’s hottest spots, closed in August after an agonizing decline. Taking its place is the thousand-square-meter restaurant and lounge Revelations, which will soft open on Saturday. I’ve already written a bit about this place and yesterday I met with Revelations’ Jacky Kagi, whose previous gigs include the Jockey Club, Conrad International and Reflexion Natural Dining, all in Hong Kong.

What kind of environment can people expect?

We have a place with good food but without a conservative environment. The décor includes both Renaissance (a large mural, pillars and marble) and modern elements. The atmosphere is a bit traditional but also a place where you can put your elbows on the table and laugh out loud. It’s informal, but not so informal as to be like TGI Friday’s, where a waiter comes up to your table and on bended knee says, “Hi, I’m Bob.”

We [the management] are all from five-star hotels or the Hong Kong Jockey Club.

Who are you looking to attract?

We are aiming at the middle class emerging in Beijing. We hope to attract our neighbors, people living and working in this area.

We’re not looking to provide a LAN or Block 8 experience. We’re trying to find a middle ground, to reach more of a mass market.

We will have ten set lunches, from RMB 60 to RMB 100, and a set dinner from RMB 120 to around RMB 250. We want our food to be affordable and to offer value for money.

We will also have our own caviar from Russia and Iran, both wild and farmed. A 30-gram tin could be shared by four to six people, so that they know what caviar is, so they have the experience. This is our equivalent of shark’s fin or abalone.

Like our oyster bar and sushi bar, the caviar will supplement our regular fare, which aims at value for money. It’s not something we will pressure customers into ordering.

How about the wine list?

We will mainly have a selection of Old World wines, even a few Portuguese ones, as I’m a bit of an old-fashioned guy. We will do the whole Lafitte thing, and do wine dinners and education, but will also have about 30 bottles on the menu and six wines by the glass. When it comes to wine, it’s not only about how much a bottle costs. It’s also about quality and what someone likes. We want to sell by the glass and to promote regional wine. It’s clear as crystal that we need to get regular customers.

What other places have you tried and liked in town?

I’ve been in Beijing on and off since August. I’m impressed with Alameda as a business model, though I understand some staff members have left. A place I like is Prego, in the Westin, because they always bring out some nice regional wines.

Note: I sampled the veal shank, tuna sashimi, and crème brulee, all of them tasty. Revelations makes its own chocolates. I will have more on the wine list when I receive the information.

“Due to reasons beyond our control we will be closed tonight. We hope to be open again tomorrow. Sorry for any inconvenience.”

This is becoming a mantra for Bar Blu, which saw its windows darkened yet again last night.

Two floors down, Tanewha appears to be have bitten the dust after an identity crisis - there was a brief stint as Wonder Bar - and will become Golden something or other.

Meanwhile, on the other stairwell, China Doll is locked. “Sorry that China Doll will be closed for renovations these days. We will be open soon. Thanks for your cooperation.”

According to two industry insiders, China Doll’s problem is another kind of layout - one involving unpaid bills. Peeking through the windows, I spotted stickers on the wall that seem suspiciously like those on Browns‘ doors when that spot shut up shop. I could be wrong - does anyone have the inside scoop on this?

Cheers (with about a dozen people) and Kokomo (about half of that) remained open.

The Cellar Rat and I gave up on Tongli and headed around the corner to Mingle. This spot, run by ex-China Doll, ex-Bank guy Joop Shen, is tightly designed and held this night four small groups of people. A quick Bloody Mary and we called it a night…

Browns, which went from bar of the year to bust of the year in the space of, uh, a year will reopen in two months, says an industry insider. One of the original investors is renovating the place and adding a restaurant in back.

As evidenced last night, the redesign is already underway, as workers touted rubbish outside. Inside, the wall enclosing the bar proper is gone, creating a massive open space. The room upstairs and at the back - once planned as a sake and vodka bar - has also been opened up and made accessible by a second staircase.

More on this to come…

See here for previous Browns stories.

PS. I’ve tried to contact the former managing partner of Browns about the circumstances of its closing, but have received no response.

As reported in early 2006, Browns opened as a near knockoff of Taipei bar Carnegie’s - the layout, color scheme, decorations and drinks menu were similar. Then-managing partner Philip Cheung said he wanted to open a Carnegie’s branch- othere are found in Hong Kong, Perth and Kuala Lumpur - but the franchise fee was too high.

Carnegie’s celebrates its sixth anniversary tonight and is arguably Taipei’s best bar since 2007, with a good wine and drinks selection, efficient service, a fun vibe for partying with friends, and a massive and tasty breakfast.

In other words, everything Browns might be offering us now. Instead, the place remains closed after Philip - and apparently all of the Browns’ furniture, kitchen equipment et al - disappeared.

Rumors has it the place will reopen, the remaining partners seeing a potential Olympics payoff. If so, let’s hope that they reignite the Carnegie’s spirit that Browns had during its first six months and avoid the costly marketing, quality and human resource moves that ultimately led to this place’s demise.

Previous posts re Browns
Off to a good start: No blues for Browns
Bar of the Year: And the TBJ bar awards winners are…
Warning signal!: On Browns
Browns: Love it…
Browns: … or hate it
Browns: Merry-go-Browns I
Browns: Merry-go-Browns II

He’s had management positions at The Pavillion, Browns and TRIO (Frank’s Place) during the past two years and now Glenn Phelan will soon be heading up his own place — the Irish bar Paddy O’Shea’s. Glenn took time out of his busy schedule of personally testing the new beer taps and answered a few questions.

When is the bar opening and what kind of layout can patrons expect?

The new spot is on two floors with each one approximately 190 square meters. Ground level will have the bar, covering two walls, as the main focal point. We are trying to avoid that tacky Irish Pub look that you find in so many cities around the world and to keep with the traditions of back home, to make it homey and warm where the focus is on de-stressing and having a good time. There will be plenty of sports - we’ll have four plasma screens and a digital projector.

Good advice would be to leave the business cards at home since this is a place to go after work and relax, and there is a snug for a quiet chat.

The second floor is more upbeat and has a sixties yet modern feel going on. The rest is a surprise!

The soft opening is targetted for early October.

What’ll you have on tap?

Guinness, Kilkenny, Beamish, Carlsberg, Boddingtons (the supplier tells me all the kinks are fixed, we will see) and Stella Artois . So, six in total.

You’ve worked at Pavillion, Browns and TRIO - what have you learned about Beijing bars?

How to get the best out of the staff. I have to put my hand on heart and say the Chinese crew is the best I have worked with. If you show a little care for them, you get so much in return.

Ex pats! Fickle, impatient and fussy for sure, but looking after the basic needs of good service, value for money and a friendly smile seems to keep the wide range of expats happy. Not too many bars are doing it here!

What’s been the toughest challenge in opening the bar?

Three things - the government, the government, oh, and yeah the government!

You once almost lit me on fire with a flaming Lamborghini - does the guilt still gnaw at you?

Sorry Boycey, I was never guilty to begin with. Remember, it was almost. Next birthday I will get you for sure!

Mingle opened in the basement of Margherita, around the corner from Tongli Studio in the building formerly housing The Bund.

Joop Shen, who’s bouncing about the Beijing bar and club scene faster than a Xiali cab changes lanes - note: he’s held positions at China Doll and The Bank in the last six months - is involved, though this is a cozier fit and it will be a challenge to keep a lounge feel given the temptation to take advantage of the sound equipment no hand — we’ll see if Joop can work his magic with the staff, theme and layout.

Another bar nomad, Glenn Phelan - The Pavillion, Browns, and TRIO (Frank’s Place) - will soon be running his own gig as Irish bar Paddy O’Shea’s is projected to open next month near A-Che and Dine and Wine. Look for an interview here with Glenn later this week.

Sir Campbell T informs that a new bar called White Rabbit opened in Nurenjie on Friday night. Time enough to visit this weekend there was not, so I’ll aim to check this one out in the near future.

Sequoia Cafe in Sanlitun offers the most imaginative, enjoyable and affordable wine tastings in Beijing. Period. Last Friday, I tried seven Austrian and German wines, munched on appetizers and chatted with wine distributors, a winemaker and plenty of friendly folk - all for 50 kuai. The tasting of eight Slovenian wines and the tasting where every attendee brought a bottle of wine and some cheese were also memorable. I can only see things getting better once Sequoia’s two decks open (to get on the event mailing list, email frank.siegel@gmail.com).

With an exhausting week behind me, I was going to call it an early evening after trying those wines. Fortunately, a new friend from Siberia steered me from evil. We ended up checking out:

- Kokomo: This place looks a bit better every time I visit, though the closed kitchen and our grumbling stomachs made this stop a quick one, as we headed to…

- Apertivo: It was packed, but comfortable, with an earthy feel and a calming rumble of conversations as background noise. More than a dozen wines are available by the glass, from 35 kuai, and my Sangiovese was a sizeable pour. The calzone hit the spot.

- Cheers: We popped our heads in to find the usual cast of characters and the band getting ready to unleash some Xinjiang music.

- China Doll: The second floor was getting crowded by 10:30 PM and I always enjoy propping my elbows against that soft, sloped bar edge and sipping a drink. China Doll has some promotion whereby two people who kiss for ten seconds get free drinks. What’s next? Spin the bottle? Truth or dare?

- Q Bar: Though it was busy, we wrangled two seats at the bar. As for drinks, I had my favorite of the year, an Alfonso Special, and then a Strawberry Margarita, which someone bought for me (I can guarantee you, this is not a cocktail for which ye olde Beijing Boyce parts with cash). I also tried a splash of Caol Ila 18-year-old single malt, which inspired me to rewrite my will and demand that I be embalmed with this liquid… Note 1: I ran into Trevor K, who makes the best burgers in town and will (hopefully) again organize, with Kenn, a few BBQs on Q Bar’s deck.  Note 2: The usual DJ was off, sparing us the dance music. Instead, his replacement had the good sense to play Peter Schilling’s Major Tom, Talk Talk’s It’s My Life and numerous other rarely heard tunes. Q Bar owners, this music is good! I repeat, this music is good!

- Browns: The bar was less crowded than usual, but the vibe more than made up for it, as did the 20-kuai Guinness, Kingfisher and Beamish served from the bathtub out front. It’d take about 10,000 words to describe the weirdness at Browns, so two brief sketches will have to suffice. First, there was a scraggly haired guy on the bar top, with biceps the size of Christmas turkeys, lots of tattoos and a baseball hat, whose dance routine consisted of pointing at his crotch, pointing at the crowd, and pulling his baseball cap over his face as though he were crying. For reasons that will confuse scientists and therapists for centuries, this stimulated numerous female patrons. Second, there was a girl on the bar top, who has obviously done some modeling, and she shook out her hair and jerked her lanky body about like a hyperactive vogue-ing insect-robot - it was better than it sounds and mesmerizing in strobe light. Also, being an empathetic person, I think I pulled a calf muscle just watching that display…

(By the way, what’s with the mini toll booth, they’ve set up on the street that goes past The Bookworm on the way to Browns? See below)

On Saturday, after doing my best to develop my carpal tunnel syndrome by answering about 70 emails in the afternoon, I went to a going away party for one of my favorite bloggers. Weirdly, I found myself sitting around a coffee table not only with him, but also with this blogger, this blogger, this blogger, this blogger and this blogger. Being the junior blogger, I didn’t know what to say, so I got on my Blackberry and left comments on their sites (kidding). Actually, this blogger earned his place in heaven, should I ever be on watch duty the day he approaches the pearly gates, as he showed up not only with a bottle of The Balvenie, but also one of Talisker, and later cracked open yet another The Balvenie before finishing with the equivalent of a dessert wine after a long and hearty “meal” of single malts - a 12-year-old Chivas. A smooth finish to a fun evening…

This is the follow up post to Browns: Love It…

No bar gets more hate than Browns (except Bar Blu, but that place deserves it*, and Maggies). Here’s a self-interview that seeks insights into the animosity**:

Who hates Browns?

Many British people: apparently, Browns reminds them of pubs (including one called Wetherspoon’s) back on the island(s). Fair enough.

Anyone else?

One observer typifies Browns haters as those who “prefer to sit on old stinky beds (known as opium den-style furnishings), smoke hookahs, sip Mojitos and make what they consider devastatingly insightful observations - ‘What’s happening to China ’s youth has parallels in The Outsiders and Trainspotting.’”

Not all Browns haters fit this category. Some find the place disgustingly low-rent and prefer 49-kuai pints of Carlsberg at elite spots such as Face. Others like the predictable corporate nature of hotel bars such as Centro. Still others consider themselves “cutting edge,” aligned to a fringe music, art or cultural scene that, by definition, requires the rejection of Browns. Finally, a number work for the city’s English-language lifestyle magazines and seemingly were required to swear an oath to scorn anything their readers enjoy.

Why do they hate Browns?

You can’t pretend to be an intellectual, kick back and act like a colonial master, or feel cutting-edge - if you hang at Browns. As M-Dawg put it in an instant message, “Browns is real life. It’s the Grand Central Station of bars. No pretensions, utilitarian, everyone uses it from the businessman and the cultural elite to English teachers and the slightly insane.”

I also think some people hate Browns because they are afraid to dance in public.

Dancing?

Yes, people frequently dance on the bar top at Browns. It’s the often vain and cheesy public equivalent of displaying your singing skill at karaoke.

Isn’t Browns a meat market?

If it is, then places such as Bar Blu, Vics and Suzie Wong are full-on abattoirs. Some people do go to Browns to pick up, but most go with friends, employees, co-workers or students, and represent nearly every nationality, age group and profession.

Does Browns have hookahs?

No. If it did, then those who hate the place would give them up and turn to something else - Chivas and yak’s milk, perhaps. Management isn’t that cruel.

So what does it have?

It has good wings, a decent draft beer selection, high ceilings that disperse smoke, bar and lounge seating, a coat check. It’s close to Q Bar, Bookworm and Tongli Studios. At times, it can feel slightly sleazy and/or dismal, but usually it is fun if you are with a group of friends. Regulars who resemble Steven Segal, Scarlett Johannsson and Kim Jong-Il offer tremendous unintentional comedy.

What would be an example of poetic justice?

If Browns closed up shop and its patrons immediately headed to those bars that the haters frequent. Even better if the patrons arrived in tank tops and baseball hats, and upon entering said “yo.”

Yo?

Yo!

Notes:

* Kidding

** I know at least five people who will think this post is about them. It’s not; it’s based on about 20 comments over the past year.

In tomorrow’s blog Browns: … or Hate It

I first stumbled into Browns one year ago, on its second day of business. The place was virtually empty, but the food, drinks, service and layout, including the tiered seating and high ceilings, showed great potential (Browns: Carnegie’s Comes to the Middle Kingdom). Brown’s excellent hard launch party reinforced this:

Browns put its money where its mouth is by holding an all-night two-for-one party two weeks ago. The special didn’t suddenly end halfway through the evening when the owner panicked about losing money. It wasn’t limited to those drinks that are dirt cheap to make. And the drinks themselves were not watered down. It all raised the question: Was this really happening in Beijing? I mean, did I really witness from opening to closing - which came sometime after I left at 4 AM - Guinness and Kilkenny for a mere 17.5 kuai per pint?

I’ve now been to Browns about ten times, either for drinks or food, and it has the potential of becoming the year’s best bar.  (See No Blues for Browns for the full review.)

That potential was due to investment in hardware and software, a decent location in Sanlitun south, the unpretentiousness of the clientele and the uniqueness of the bar, at least in the Beijing market (although Agent Red Wolf called it “a big Suzie Wong’s”).

There were problems - typos littered the menu, some employees struggled with taking orders and the music left something to be desired. It was also sobering to hear someone describe Browns as “the hottest bar in town” while I listened to Michael Jackson’s Beat It, sipped an average Gin Tonic and watched two nerdy expatriates try to pick up.

But Browns was on its way. That party kick-started many a night of good clean fun, and a few months later, it won as best new bar and best overall bar at the that’s Beijing annual awards.

A year on, Browns is slightly battered and bruised. Some key employees have recently left, most notably the supervisor, who had been on board since day one. The space behind the main room, which was to hold whiskey and tequila bars, remains unfinished. And while Browns still makes for a fun night out with friends, the crowds are sparse at times. There is also more competition, with the newest kid on the block being China Doll.

Two weeks ago, Browns marked its anniversary, and M-Dawg and I showed up to find a 50-kuai cover charge and a two-for-one special where the free drink was a beer from a serving station near the coat check. Not exactly 17.5-kuai pints of Guinness. To be fair, though, the music was good, the crowd fun, and the blue cheese wings tasty, making for a good night. (Thanks to owner Philip for giving me one of the “best customer” plaques.) 

Overall, Browns deserves credit for a solid year - its excellent Halloween party, its great selection of draft beers and the many memories it has given to those brave enough to dance on the bar top and those sensible enough to remain on solid ground. Now that the rookie campaign is over, Browns faces a substantial challenge, in Beijing’s increasingly competitive and unforgiving bar scene, of raising its game and maintaining momentum.

After the wine tasting at Sequoia, I met Eddie O to discuss the nuances of that esteemed organization known as BRAWL – The Bourbon, Rye and Whiskey League. We decided to hold our confab at Cheers, which continues to offer an interesting combination of live Xinjiang music, cheap booze, a pool table, and about a dozen oil paintings of nudes (the owner went to art school).
 

This gave me a chance to check out China Doll, a new three-floor club with an entrance abutting Cheers. Former Moet man Joop Shen, now working at the club, gave us a tour and my initial impression was good. China Doll has skipped the large open spaces, excessive neon and annoying light displays of other places and gone for intimacy - cozy seating, subtle lighting and clever use of mirrors and space (though the bathroom has some problems). I’ve been back twice and my next newsletter will have a full report on the drinks, service and ambience (to join the mailing list, email beijingboyce@yahoo.com with “Eat, Drink and Be Merry” in the subject line).
 

We returned to Cheers and after a long and confusing discussion with Eddie O about Jagermeister – does the mascot we see around town look more like a reindeer or a moose? – headed for Browns to see if the owner, Philip, received the bottle of Bourbon that Eddie O left him as a wedding present.
 

On the way, we popped into Swing, a bar I have passed a hundred times, but never entered, given my aversion to establishments on the main Sanlitun North strip. I had heard that this place has a great band from the Philippines and they were indeed fun if eclectic, with the last four songs covering Suzanne Vega, Nirvana, what sounded like Joan Jett, and Pink Floyd (the guitarist really got into the last one, though the bassist looked in pain and possibly in need of prunes). After the set, the band members circulated and talked to the patrons, while the DJ played his own eclectic set, ranging from Queen to The Proclaimers.
 

Swing is small and packed tight with seats, but the layout works, and the atmosphere is cozy, the crowd diverse and the place a cut above the average bar on this strip (the band helps). Eddie O thought the beer was too pricey (Heineken: 35 kuai) and the bathroom facilities too limited (one person at a time). “They want you to buy the beer here and process it somewhere else,” he said. But if I were to regularly stop on this strip, and that’s purely hypothetical, Swing would likely be my place.
 

We headed for Browns. About a dozen people there looked like bit players from The Dukes of Hazzard or Talladega Nights. What a joy to have someone wearing a tank top, in January, brush by after working up a massive sweat dancing on the bar top. That fashion statement is hard to top unless that same person is WEARING A BACKWARDS BASEBALL CAP! Okay, Ill stop making fun now and just say that Eddie O, Philip and I enjoyed a few drops of Bourbon, watched the crowd, thanked to the Prime Mover that we had decided against wearing tank tops and shortly thereafter called it a night.

A darkened door greeted me at Icehouse on Thursday night and further investigation revealed that this bar - the first to fly in blues bands from Chicago, the home for Chopschticks comedy shows and a regular venue for Beijing Cheese Society events - has finally closed after a long struggle to push the high-end envelope in Wangfujing. Icehouse will apparently re-open elsewhere this fall as part of The Legation group of restaurants. Remaining area watering holes include Garden of Delights and Champagne. I’ll have more on the meltdown at Icehouse next issue. / Browns managing partner Philip Cheung married long-time girlfriend Amy at the pub over the holidays. Meanwhile, supervisor Jackie Kong is on extended leave and marketing head Graheme Drew has left for other pursuits, thus taking some energy and personality out of the bar. Browns will celebrate its one-year anniversary on Friday (January 19) with the two-for-one deal that got the place off to a flying start in the first place. / Word has it that Alex Kreilein, who appeared out of nowhere last year and started making good cheap drinks at Phil’s Pub, will return to our fair city this summer. Let’s hope he brings his cocktail shaker. / It’s been ages since my last reconnaissance mission around Workers’ Stadium and a recent hike showed that, beside obvious renovations to the sports facilities, change has been in the air. Gongti East: A sizeable complex now stands erect where the former Maggie’s once squatted and will apparently house fancy restaurants, bars and, if the lettering on a giant green tarp surrounding the place is right, a spa. Nearby, Le Quai continues to offer a nice spot for enjoying coffee and watching people skate. Gongti South: Dance club Mix has a new concrete facade adorned with giant posters advertising upcoming DJs. Across the way, scaffolding stands about three meters in front of Vics and Outback Steakhouse, where a large sign proclaims it is “business as usual” at the latter. Gongti West: Club central remains home to the city’s most ferocious liquor advertising battle, with Johnnie Walker, Chivas and Hennessey fighting for space. The building behind is packed with restaurants, including Three Guizhou Men, Mallikan (Indian), Hot Loft (hot pot), Kuo Bee Pen Da (Chinese) and Coco Cafe, as well as the new Club Babi. Gongti South: As mentioned, Pipes Cafe went singular and dropped the “s” while investing in a new sign that pays homage to Coors Light, while upscale spots such as Face (up the street) and China Lounge (just inside the park) have upped the ante in this area. / A year since my last visit to Souk and this place remains a decent Saturday night retreat, with plenty of nooks for chatting, drinking and, for those who are pretentious or just too lazy to smoke a cigarette, enjoying hookahs. The major drawback: my Bloody Mary came with about a half-ounce of vodka and no Worchester Sauce or celery salt, the latter two ingredients easily available at Jenny Lou’s up the street. / China Expat Magazine published its “2006 China National Bar Awards,” which cover an impressive 25 cities as well as Ulan Bator in Mongolia. The picks for Beijing were Centro, Suzie Wong, Browns, Aperitivo, Bookworm, Face, Pavillion and Maggies. See www.chinaexpat.com for details. / Numerous readers have complained about service at The Bookworm. My own story unfolded last month, when I took two visiting journalists there for lunch to show off the place. We, like most patrons, spent an hour having our annoyance at the long wait for food interrupted by spurts of anticipation whenever a waiter appeared with a plate (is it mine? is it mine?). Turns out much of the kitchen staff had quit. Fine, but why not tell people, so they can decide, on a working day, if the wait is worth it? To its credit, The Bookworm waived our bill, and I’ve since been back for lunch with no problems, but it seems there is some disgruntlement out there and that mixed experiences (see Choose the Gerbil! below) are par for the course at this busy spot (and yes, we do appreciate the books and seminars).

I number among those poor souls without home Internet access. Getting online thus means packing the laptop, bundling up and heading *out there*. Here are three recent wireless experiences, followed by some favorite spots for surfing the Web. 

Vineyard Cafe
Given the coverage the free English-language magazines have heaped on this place, particularly for its “full English breakfast,” I recently popped in. The breakfast is indeed hearty, with egg, sausages, bacon (soft, not crispy), beans, mushrooms, tomato, two slices of toast, and choice of coffee or juice, though with a price tag of 65 kuai, another egg and bottomless java would be nice.

Vineyard Cafe is unpretentious and cozy, keeps the music at a reasonable volume, offers a good selection of cocktails, beer and wine, and had a strong wireless signal during my three-hour visit. The wildcard is the location. Some might get annoyed searching for a spot hidden in a hutong on a side street near Lama Temple. Others might see it as nicely secluded and rustic.

In any case, I experienced two cafes. The first was at brunch: crowded, comfortably noisy and saturated with a good vibe. The second was in late afternoon, when the human warmth (literally) was gone: the few customers shivered as the front door continually swung open and faced headaches as the back door slammed every 30 seconds or so. Management seems receptive, so odds are it will get a handle on this. A map to the cafe is available at www.vineyardcafe.cn, one of the town’s better bar blogs.

The Stone Boat
After a quick cocktail at The Press Club a few weeks back, I headed down the street, into Ritan Park and to The Stone Boat, where many a winter eve I spent two years ago as a newcomer to Beijing. I wanted to check it out after seeing an ad in that’s Beijing titled “Stone Boat Winter Myths.”

“Myth: Too cold. Reality: New heaters.” The Stone Boat was, indeed, much warmer than in previous winters, and a small foyer at the front provides two sets of sliding doors to keep in the heat, although a slight draft persists.

“Myth: No food. Reality: Homemade dumplings, soup, gluwein, etc.” True again. The vegetarian dumplings were maeyo, so I tried the beef ones (25 kuai per plate) and Boat Beef Noodles (25 kuai), both of which were fine.

“Myth: Dead. Reality: Parties. Stay tuned.” I was the only patron, but it was a Tuesday night and I was grateful this myth had yet to become reality.

Here are two more realities. Reality: I couldn’t get online. There was a signal, my computer apparently connected to it, and for an hour, I futilely tried to access Web sites while the staff smacked the wireless box, but no luck. Reality: entertainment is free. One employee repeatedly held a deck of cards above her head and let it drop onto a table, with a resounding crack, in attempts to get it to stand upright. Unfortunately, it got tiresome after the twentieth drop. In any case, I’m chalking up these last two realities to a bad night, as I’ve often found tranquility (and wireless) at Stone Boat.

Le Petit Gourmand
Longtime readers might remember my last story about this Sanlitun North spot included a bug falling out of a Parmesan shaker and onto my (up to then vegetarian) pizza. I’ve returned sporadically for coffee, but decided to give the food another shot after hearing the place has a new chef.

In my mind, any place positioned along the lines of The Bookworm, as is Le Petit Gourmand (LPG), should have wireless. Unfortunately, the only access I could get was via a weak intermittent signal from Bar Blu, one floor up. As I waited for my food, I mentioned this to Waitress One (W1), who motioned to an empty table 10 feet away. Hmmm. Perhaps she hadn’t understood, so I pointed to my computer screen and warped my face into a look of frustration. She nodded and zipped off, only to pass my table five or six times during the next 10 minutes, obviously having forgotten our conversation. No worries, I thought, I’ll go to the counter and ask Waitress Two (W2). I did, explaining verbally and in sign language, while she stared blankly at me. Perhaps she was considering my quandary, thought I. I thought wrong. W1 approached and asked W2 for two coffees, ending my brief relationship with W2 as she turned her attention elsewhere. I returned to my table and, seeing that W3 and W4 appeared as helpful as W1 or W2, decided to take action. As W1 passed, I caught her attention:

“Excuse me. I want to cancel my order.”
She looked confused.
“My order.”
“Water?”
“No, I want to cancel my order.”
“No water?”

She left and a few seconds later brought my club sandwich and soup (both passable). I made a few more attempts at getting a wireless signal, but it simply was not to be, which was too bad, because LPG has an okay drink, food and book selection and I would have stuck around all afternoon.

Here are some good spots for wireless, all of them in the Gongti area (I’m a homer when it comes to surfing the Web).

The Bookworm: The signal is generally good, but finding a seat can be tough, the music is sometimes too loud, and weird foreigners are attracted to the place like drunken moths to a Flaming Lamborghini. I tend to head there when I want to run into someone I know, crave potato gnocchi, feel like browsing books, or need to be near people who make me feel normal (“Did that guy just *snort* his sugar!?”).

Browns: While known for late-night shenanigans, this place is good for Web surfing. A strong signal, high ceilings, comfortable seats, and decent food and beer choices make it my default choice when The Bookworm is crowded. (Except tonight, as I write this newsletter, when the wireless is “broken” and a medical company is holding its year-end party - the emcee just yelled “wei” 20 times into the microphone as a test.)

Beer Mania: Wireless plus Belgian beer on draft at happy hour prices equals online fun.

Q Bar: I often meet acquaintances for an after-work drink at the Q and can check my email and sip a Horse Neck while I wait for them.

Sequoia Cafe: This place serves good coffee and sandwiches, even if the chairs are hard on the behind.

(From Beijing Boyce XXVIII, first emailed on December 23, 2006.)

Good times all around on December 8 as that’s Beijing held its annual Xmas Charity Funk Throwdown. This year’s party, at Browns, raised more than 30,000 kuai from entry fees, individual donations and “Santa shot” sales to fund surgery for an orphan named Tian Tian, who suffers from spina bifada. It’s a major turnaround from last year, when the to-go-unnamed venue undermined the spirit of the event by letting most people in free and the fundraising thus totaled a mere 9,000 kuai. Other differences:

- In 2005, there were DJs. In 2006, Ah-Q played classic funk for two straight hours, Sambasia stirred up tribal feelings with some Brazilian drumming, and two DJs had people getting down until the wee hours.
- In 2005, there was one fur-trimmed miniskirt-wearing Santa’s elf as emcee. In 2006, there were three sexy Santa’s elves selling shooters (say those last five words five times fast).
- In 2005, many people sat or stood and chatted. In 2006, they grooved to the music and some popped onto the bar to dance.
- In 2005, I wore my nerdy Timberland outfit. In 2006, I wore my nerdy gold jacket, super-sized collar and funk-a-licious sunglasses.
- In 2005, no one stood beside me all night claiming he paddled a canoe to Somalia or Samoa or wherever. In 2006, someone did.
- In 2005, that’s Beijing’s nightlife head Ollie R was in the British navy, in a Xinjiang jail, in school or gainfully employed – pick your rumor. In 2006, he donned an afro wig and boogied on the bar with a Virginia Slims in one hand and a Jagermeister and Diet Coke in the other, repeatedly yelling, “This place should have been our editor’s pick as bar of the year!” (At least, I think it was he.)
- In 2005, many patrons argued their way out of paying the entry fee or got in free with the management’s permission. In 2006, only a *few* did. (Hey Scrooges, if you figure in the drinks that come with the ticket, you saved yourself a whopping 40 kuai.)
- In 2005, that’s Beijing’s GM Mike W was so bummed out post-party that he set his head down at Midnight Bar for ten minutes and required baijiu as “smelling salts” to be revived. In 2006, he capped the night by dancing on the bar top and going to The Den for breakfast and four-cheese pizza.

You get the point: the party this year was better than last. True, that’s Beijing could have done a better job handling the door (posting a sexy shot-selling elf there would have helped) and Browns needs to figure out that a Gin Tonic has 1.5 ounces of gin (not 0.5 ounces), but these are minor issues. It was an excellent night, and how could it not be, given that Agent Red Wolf (and almost Eddie O) boogied on the bar and for a good cause at that.

(From Beijing Boyce XXVIII, first emailed on December 23, 2006)

Warning: The following story contains disturbing scenes involving a plush monkey and is not suitable for those under the age of 21, allergic to polyester or prone to taking life too seriously. Most of the characters are real, thus their resemblance to actual persons is pretty much to be expected, isn’t it?

He’s five inches tall, full of plastic beans and sports a coat of recycled fibers. He’s the definition of mystery with his Men-in-Black coloring and Mona Lisa-like expression. He’s irresistible to adults, children and zookeepers of all ages, likes to play with his banana and knows how to swing. Meet Zimbu, the plush Beanie Baby monkey with a difference (http://www.beijingboyce.com/zimbu/).

Consider a recent Halloween party: an irate patron struts behind a nightclub, screaming in Mandarin for ten minutes and insulting the mothers of the planet. From the safety of a second-floor balcony, Zimbu hangs over the precipice, at arm’s length, and the order “Quiet!” rings out. Below, the man wobbles, looks up and directs his fury at no person, but at Zimbu, challenging a plush monkey - yes, a plush monkey! - to fight. Suffice it to say, half-pound Zimbu doesn’t stand much chance against a 170-pound human, even a drunken one, but that’s hardly the point. What matters is that Zimbu commands attention. In fact, over the recent Halloween weekend, he received drinks from bar-goers, untold kisses from females and numerous handshakes from males. Here is a recap of five Halloween parties, each one with a “Zimbu moment.”*

The party: that’s Beijing’s bash at Rui Fu

The Crow and I arrived at Rui Fu on Friday at the witching hour of Midnight. This place has a Halloween feel even on a regular night due to the monolithic abandoned residence (haunted house?) out back, the octopi-like chandeliers, and the lighting. Plus, they did a bang-up job installing a pink-lit revolving door into the side of that old building (wait, that’s PERMANENT?). In any case, it’s ideal for a Halloween party.

The 100-kuai entry fee for this annual bash came with two drinks (Freixenet sparkling wine in my case) and enough Halloween sweets to wire half the city. The crowd reportedly topped 600, and Rui Fu was packed and rowdy, with most people costumed. The usual angels, devils, cross-dressers, naughty nurses and assorted dorks were on hand, along with a Yao Ming (i.e. a basketball ball-jersey wearing guy on stilts) and owner Henry Lee as Glandalf or Gargamal or whatever you call that Lord of the Rings wizard (the only character I can remember from that movie is Farto. Or is it Frito?)

This event was not without problems. The free drinks ran out, though late at night, and this led to some arguments between patrons and bartenders. that’s Beijing did damage control by handing out refunds. (Those who paid the cover but didn’t get drinks may email info@thatsbj.com.) On top of this, the overwhelmed Rui Fu staff did not handle the stress well, resulting in further friction with patrons and lengthy waits for drinks. Despite this and the place seeming somewhat out of control, people seemed to be having a great time and this annual party, held the last two years at Tango, remains a must-go on the Halloween circuit.

After mingling for an hour with the masses, The Crow and I headed upstairs, plunked down on the balcony and for thirty minutes watched drama unfold in the parking lot. 1. A man strutted about while insulting everybody’s mother and threatening Zimbu (Henry dealt with this guy). 2. Another man smashed the ends off two beer bottles (I thought that only happened in movies) and waved the jagged edges as his concerned friends tried to restore calm, the scene dragging out so long that it lost all momentum and ended peacefully. 3. A car backed over a case of empties. It was an interesting vantage point, especially given the good company. Such as the guy who came onto the balcony, saw our that’s Beijing entry stickers, snorted the air as if they were scratch n’ sniff and scented with cho dofu, and said: “Oh, you are wearing zee badge of zat’s Beijing. I suppose you are zee magazine’s property.” (I know it’s not nice to make fun of people’s accents, but it’s also not nice to make fun of stickers, and fair is fair.)

“Yes,” I answered. Agreeing can often defuse a situation or, as in this case, confuse it. Le hater de autocollants (stickers) paused, heaved his chest and announced, “I am from France!”

“No you’re not. You’re from Belgium,” I answered, hoping the confusion route might yet work. After another moment of perplexity, he again defiantly uttered, “France!”

“Belgium!” I sternly replied. At this point, I shifted my shoulder to emphasize the presence of Zimbu. The man obviously sensed that the power of a plush monkey was about to be unleashed because he retreated. The Crow and I looked at each other, shook our heads in disbelief, finished our Budweiser, and ended a weird, interesting and somewhat scary night at Rui Fu.

The Zimbu moment: The plush monkey received kisses from a half-dozen people, including newsletter reader Nikki, who I met for the first time. The scary moment: when club owner Henry looked as though he might kidnap Zimbu and spirit him away in that gigantic Gandalf (or was it Harry Potter?) hat.

The party: Timeout’s bash at Icehouse
Intrigued by Icehouse’s recent redesign from blues bar to art gallery, and the numerous last-minute SMS and email invitations from Timeout, I popped in around ten on Saturday night. The place was somewhat thematic given that it was as active as a graveyard. Although Icehouse made an effort with the decorations, I was among the few costumed people, and most patrons sat around zombie-like, including a handful getting manicures and massages on the stage, while DJ Daisy futilely played house music for these living dead. Surreal. The 50-kuai entry fee got me one of those ubiquitous Freixenet sparkling wine cocktails. I tried a “Black Magic” (Freixenet and Beamish beer) and then a “Bubbly Mojito” (Freixenent, white rum, lemon juice and mint leaves), and both were decent.

The Zimbu moment: Given that he lacks musculature, the massages were lost on Zimbu, who was annoyed at the apathy of his fellow patrons, save for media bigwig TP, who exchanged a long and hostile look with the monkey (obviously an alpha male thing). I got Zimbu out of Icehouse before the chef upstairs decided to use him for some fusion cuisine.

The party: Champagne Bar’s Yelloween
It was quality over quantity at Champagne, where about 40 patrons were having a great time. There were plenty of decorations and almost everyone was in costume, including a posse of short-panted, red-hatted cowgirls that I saw later that night with their cowboys busting moves at Browns.

The Zimbu moment: Once again, kisses, cuddles and handshakes all around for the monkey. The female wait staff’s vine-like accessories delighted Zimbu, reminding him of jungles back home.

The party: Maggie’s Bar
An incredible number of the female patrons were dressed up as “ladies of the evening” and, as if they were mind readers, most of the males dressed up as patrons of such women. I know, what are the odds?

The Zimbu moment: One costumed lass offered Zimbu a 50-percent plush monkey discount “for the night” because she thought he was “small and cute.” I got him out of there, but not before he made a few cutting remarks that it’s not the height of the tree, but the size of the banana hanging in it.

The party: Browns Scary Halloween
Costumed employees greeted guests outside and directed them up the stairs, which were enclosed and converted into a haunted house. Cobwebs, skeletons and paper pumpkins covered almost every inch of the interior, while boxy ghosts made from the bed-sheets of marketing manager Drew spun from the ceiling fans. Two smoke machines kept the scene eerily fun, though visibility was down to a mere meter at times. This total decoration apparently took five days to set up and cost Browns 25000 kuai. The 100-kuai entry fee included a Hoegaarden, a Jagermeister shot and a bag of treats. I liked the “eyeball martini” concocted by Jackie, with its creepy garnish of a lychee stuffed with a black olive. And what better platform for a costume show than Browns’ bar top? Overall, it was an excellent night, and the key ingredient was not the decoration, drinks or music, but the enthusiasm of the staff that put it all together. It speaks volumes that employees from other bars holding Halloween parties were gathering in Browns by night’s end.

The Zimbu moment: Drew bought a shot of tequila for Zimbu, little knowing that it takes far more than one drink to get this monkey to dance on the bar.

* Note: I have been “monkey-sitting” Zimbu for almost ten years, ever since I lived in South Korea and my American colleague Jen left him behind when she ran off to Berlin to marry some German photographer. At least once a year, she reminds me that I am to return Zimbu someday, particularly as he is rising in value as a collectible Beanie Baby. Unfortunately, she is unaware of the depreciation that can occur for a plush monkey with an adventurous nightlife. Zimbu has been a part of my Halloween costume every year, whether I dress as a pirate, bandit or other miscreant, and thus fallen onto nightclub floors, soaked up more than a few spilled beers and been embossed with a hundred shades of lipstick from affectionate partygoers. When Jen and Zimbu are finally reunited, I have a feeling it will be one of those shocking “You’re not the same monkey I remember!” moments.

(From Beijing Boyce XXVII, first emailed on November 23, 2006)

Good times all around last night as that’s Beijing held its Xmas Charity Funk Throwdown at Browns. Ah-Q Jazz Arkestra put the stank on some classic funk tunes, SambAsia’s pounding drums welled up tribal feelings in my heart, and two DJs had us getting down until the wee hours. Even better, unlike last year when a Gongti-area venue undermined the spirit of the event by letting most people in free, the 100-kuai entry fee policy held firm at Browns and enough money was raised to fund surgery for an orphan named Tian Tian, who suffers from spina bifada. True, some people refused to pay, including one woman who got into Browns free by phoning the management and was delighted that she and her boyfriend had outmaneuvered the fee (that’s showing the Christmas spirit!). Most people, however, contentedly paid up, especially since they received two free beers and a Santa hat in return. that’s Beijing could have done a better job handling the door (try posting one of those shot-sellers in the sexy Santa outfits out there!) and Browns still needs to figure out that a Gin Tonic has 1.5 ounces of gin, not 0.5 ounces, but all in all, it was a good party for a good cause. The money does matter: a few months ago, I met the orphan who received a heart operation thanks to funds raised at last year’s event and she is doing well.

Of note: Last night was the first time I’ve seen M-Dawg and Agent Red Wolf dance on the bar top, though we couldn’t get Eddie O up there. Plush monkey of the year, Zimbu, also made an appearance. More on this funk party in the next newsletter.

Stay home on Saturday night after a full day of staff training and before a Sunday in the office, or answer an SMS from Eddie O and go out for “just one drink.” I recklessly chose the latter and was soon riding shotgun on a high-speed Sanlitun pub-crawl. Here are the highlights.

The Tree: With good portions of metro-sexuals (designer leather jackets mandatory), sporty types (”dress” sweatshirts mandatory), twenty-something women (heavy makeup mandatory) and groups celebrating who knows what (mugs of Qingdao mandatory), and with a dash of old-timers thrown in, The Tree is an anomaly in this student-heavy section of Sanlitun. The Tree has a nice Whiskey collection, with more than a half-dozen varieties of Bowmore and Macallan, as well as Talisker, Glenfiddich and others. (Note: It’s impossible to read the Whisky price list glued to the wall behind the bar, so a few copies for the customers would be nice.) Twelve-year-old Macallan is 50 kuai, 15-year-old Balvenie is 70 kuai and, on the cheaper end, shots of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels are 25 kuai. Fun times trying to match up Whiskey – or Belgian beer – with The Tree’s tasty pizzas.

Shooters: This place is fast becoming my favorite quick stop. Eddie O and I ordered two Qingdao at 9:30 PM and received a bill for a jaw-dropping 10 kuai. This caused him to spurt out “that’s almost grocery store prices!” He then grinned, clapped his hands three times, and pumped his arms up and down as if they were pistons. (This latter act was entirely appropriate given that he works in the car industry.) Previous visits to Shooters gave me chaperone-like symptoms, but this night saw patrons of all ages and reminded me of the early days at Browns. The music was eclectic, covering The Bee-Gees, Run DMC, Clint Black (?), ABBA and some mid-90s rock. The staff was friendly and efficient, with a “we’ve seen everything” attitude. The shooters came fast and furious as the place was bustling. Fun times again. (Note: How long before that giant pitchfork mounted on the wall is a prop in a tiff involving a drunk and/or jilted lover? Should it happen, how long after that before this place creates a commemorative shooter in honor of the victim? Just asking…)

Taniwha: We looked in, spotted only two patrons (playing pool), and headed across the hall to Cheers. Last issue I called this place Taniwhy, but now I’m leaning toward Taniwhatswrong or Taniwhawful. It is early days yet for this bar, but one hopes the management makes some changes so that we can soon call the place Taiwhanderful.

Cheers: They have Wild Turkey. They have a good happy hour. They have live Xinjiang music. One problem: when there aren’t 100 bodies in the place to absorb the sound of the drums, it is LOUD. Twenty minutes of brain-piercing snare was driving me near migraine territory, so we fled and headed to…The Dark Side…otherwise known as…

Mystique: I made my umpteenth prayer that bartenders at these kinds of places spend less time tossing bottles behind their backs, to each other, and off disco balls and into cocktail shakers, and more properly mixing the liquids within into a palatable drink. The martinis (40 kuai each) were watery, and the olives had pits, as Eddie O and I (painfully) discovered. Fortunately, the olive pick came with a sparkly bit of ribbon that distracted me from my abused molars. Other “highlights” of the visit included the subtitled karaoke-type videos playing on TVs near the bar and the high percentage of women dancing to their reflections in a shiny wall fronting the dance floor (really, who could resist an extremely long version of an Eminem song mixed to background noise from Space Invaders).

By the way, no one on staff could understand “Where’s the toilet?” in English, forcing me to act out my needs, after which the staff bent over backwards to direct me to the loo. I can see the manager leading that training session:

“Listen up, staff, when directing people to the bathroom, make them seem as though they are kings or queens heading to the throne, and what awaits them is a royal flush. As they approach, make a small circular motion with your arm as though you are winding it up, and then smoothly thrust it forth, hand extended, palm up, toward the toilet, leaning every so slightly forward as you smile widely to underscore your eagerness to serve. Okay, let’s practice that a few times and then get back to tossing bottles behind our backs…”

Shooters: We needed some mouthwash after those “martinis” and headed back to Shooters for a Qingdao. The place was still bustling… the pitchfork was still on the wall… The Knack was playing… “Come a little closer, huh, a-will ya, huh? Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona”…

Side by Side: As Eddie O and I headed down the main strip of Sanlitun South, maneuvering around “lady bar” touts, beggars and fake CD sellers, a place called Side by Side caught my eye. Actually, the band inside caught my ear because it was playing Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself for Loving You.” *This* looked promising. As they say, looks are deceiving and we lasted one over-priced Qingdao (35 kuai!).

Browns: This place was comfortably packed and the Wild Turkey generously poured. We regained our breath, I made some notes and, given that I had a date with the office the next day and that Eddie O teaches free English classes on Sundays to his neighborhood peeps, we did a final gumbai and headed home.

These are the nights to enjoy a drink on a rooftop, deck or patio, and my favorite spots remain Pavillion and Stone Boat Cafe, with other good options being Drum and Bell, Frank’s Place and Q Bar. Remember, our lungs filter pollution from this city’s air and a strong collective outside drinking effort might allow us to spot a star or two some evening. (Note: Pavillion offers the added flashback value of hearing Wham!, Huey Lewis, The Vapors and Jackson Browne within an hour.) / John Bull Pub, run by legendary bar proprietor Frank Siegel, is saying toodleloo London and hello Houston as it transforms into a Texas BBQ joint (see “We Got Email” / Zing by Doodoo, an esteemed member of the Bad Bar Name Hall of Fame, is also changing identities and will reemerge as Thai restaurant Serve the People, which is hardly a better name given that it evokes cannibalism. / 49 kuai for a pint of Carlsberg at Face. Ouch! / The Bookworm celebrated its one-year anniversary yesterday. With tasty food, interesting lectures, live music, plenty of books for sale or loan, and an extensive beverage menu, this place has been a runaway success. Not surprisingly, its incredible popularity can make it tough for wireless seekers to get a seat, and that can mean occasional forays to Le Petit Gourmand or SPR Coffee. / Browns now serves “jungle juice” during Wednesday ladies’ nights, which means people may soon be swinging from the rafters as well as dancing on the bar. Speaking of Browns, the foam party two weekends ago saw bubbles upon bubbles for most of the night, but they had burst by Sunday brunch. The place was virtually empty, yet it took over 20 minutes to get a simple breakfast and the COFFEE MACHINE WAS BROKEN! “If this had been my first visit to Browns, I would never go back,” said a downright bitter and caffeine-withdrawn M-Dawg. / Nearby, The Loft has renamed itself Hot Loft. I have no punch line to do justice to this marketing brilliance. / Reader K.S. aka Killer Schoolmarm has spoken to the owner of recently chai’d The Big Easy and says the Louisiana-style hotspot will again grace our city, retaining the spirit of its original interior, but with a new outside look (more to come on this). / M-Dawg and I visited Q Bar two Saturdays ago and waited not only 15 minutes to order, but also 30 minutes in vain for our drinks. With parched throats, we went to Phil’s Pub and soon had Gin Tonics at one-third the cost. It seems to me that Q Bar is best when providing quality cocktails in a tranquil environment, which suggests a need to focus on speeding up drink delivery rather than on, say, hiring a DJ to play house music. Translation: I want my dry martini and John Lee Hooker! Fortunately, the drinks were coming fast and slightly furious during a visit earlier this week. / Speaking of which, Trevor and Kenn from Alternate Paradigm will slip into aprons and host an end-of-summer BBQ on Q Bar’s rooftop (September 23, 2 PM-late). Twenty-five kuai gets you a cheeseburger, two hot dogs, grilled veggies or six wings, all of which come with a baked potato. / Skipping back to Phil’s, I visited several times recently and rediscovered the joys of cheap but decent cocktails, 30-kuai Erdinger, and a friendly neighborhood pub atmosphere. Moreover, after a long stint in Qingdao , owner Phil is back and teamed up with Sally. My only recommendation for this place: vaporize the PlayStation console, or at least anyone using it. / The new branch of Raj held a party last Saturday night with the expected buffet of Indian food and traditional dancing. The rooftop is ideal for enjoying a few brew (from 15 kuai for Qingdao to 25 kuai for Kingfisher) or some wine (though those puny glasses have to go), before heading to nearby Bed or Drum and Bell. / The Stone Boat has upgraded its wine and cocktail menu over the past year and credit goes to Amy and Jonathan. The Martini and Mojito are better, though the latter is still light on alcohol, and it is nice to enjoy wine in a proper glass in such a relaxing spot.

(From Beijing Boyce XXIV, first emailed on September 21, 2006)

City Weekend has published a Restaurant & Bar Guide that not only is good, but also is free! I have long griped about City Weekend, including to the managing editor, who is no doubt tired of my free “cnstructive” criticism whenever I run into him in the local bars. Happily, the guide and the magazine’s recent design upgrade deserve praise as a major step in the right direction, though the content still needs a boost, something I am told is forthcoming. The guide itself includes useful lists such as “Where you drink if you are a sport fanatic” (Goose and Duck, Pavillion, Bar Blu) and “Over 30… but not over the hill” (Browns, Q Bar, Suzie Wong, East Shore Live Jazz), as well as nightlife itineraries for couples and singles. / I am again delaying my review of the Wine and Spirits Education Trust class I attended late last month, mainly because I’m too swamped to transcribe my notes, but I do hope to have it and the long overdue review of Bed next issue. / Last year, that’s Beijing organized a Christmas funk party to raise money for a heart operation for an orphan named Tian Yue. Unfortunately, the Scrooge-like venue undermined the magazine’s Santa-like intentions, and the call went out for donations. Several newsletter readers helped out, including Agent Hidden Dragon and K-Ro, and will be happy to know that I attended Tian Yue’s birthday party last week and found her healthy, happy and, since was recently adopted  about to move to the U.S. and start a new life. / Whether you are hanging out in Beijing or heading out of the city, have a safe and happy holiday. Eat, Drink and Be Merry. Cheers, BB.

(From Beijing Boyce XXIV, first emailed on September 21, 2006)

Email: “Your comments on Rui Fu suggest powers of observation so weak that you would no doubt have trouble matching socks, finding Waldo or counting the fingers on one hand, let alone reviewing a club. “The main floor is divided into two large narrow rooms joined by an opening,” you claim. In fact, there is but one room. “…tables and chairs, then lounge areas, flow until they meet that opening, beyond which figures appear as silhouettes,” you claim. In fact, the “beyond” is actually the first room reflected in a mirror. Nice work, Sherlock Holmes. If you could learn to develop some characters, you might have a future in fiction. (By the way, I loved your “plush karaoke, generic hotel casino, and modernized opium den” reference — kisses!)“ - B. Boyce

BB: I thought I’d beat someone to the punch on that one. Rui Fu does, in fact, have one room. In my own defense, I’m easily distracted, the mirror on the far side is *really* shiny, and it does look like a passageway. Here’s the worst part: Around 10 PM one night, I was writing a review of Rui Fu based on a single one-hour visit and felt that was unfair, so I decided to delay the newsletter, threw on some decent clothes, headed over there, ended up taking to owner Henry Li for an hour, got a better feel for