Beijing Boyce

Some like it hot, some like it spicy, and p3wong likes her Bloody Mary to be both, and with a pinch of celery salt to boot. Friday night, we chilled out in the upstairs lounge at Nearby the Tree, tried a Bloody Mary - yes, we’re aware this spot is known for Belgian beer - and discussed how her favorite drink fares in this city.

“They never use celery salt [in Bloody Marys] in Beijing,” she says. “A lot of places are also stingy on Worcestershire sauce.”

So, what spots does she recommend?

“Redmoon Bar (Hyatt). They use enough Worschestire sauce and put in cherry tomatoes.”

“Lan - the Sichuan Mary is spicy.”

“[The former] Icehouse [where she once worked as GM]; I could tell the staff exactly how I wanted it made.”‘

“The Bookworm - it has an interesting one. I think they make their own juice because it comes out pinkish.”

“I haven’t tried The Vineyard Cafe yet, but I heard they have a ‘do it yourself’ Bloody Mary and I like that idea.”

How about Face? “Okay, but it seems a little bitter, so I’m wondering if they use pepper vodka.”

Block 8? “They must have the worst one. They shake it with the ice and it gets too watery.”

Aria? “The first one I had there, I could only taste tomato juice. The second one had a lot of vodka but not much flavor.”

Centro? “They’re bad. I was disappointed because I heard Bruce Li [now at Aria] was the best bartender. I don’t know if he made mine, but they weren’t good.”

As for the Bloody Mary at Nearby the Tree, here’s p3wong’s take: “It could be better with celery salt, Worcestershire sauce and more tomato juice.” At any rate, it’s a cozy place to chat and there’s plenty of beer and wine as an alternative.

Here are a few my current and past favorite places for a Bloody Mary:

Café St. Laurent: Its ‘Asian Mary’ includes wasabi and soya, a rim salted with nori, and pickled asparagus, a cherry tomato and a prawn as garnish. It comes in a 12-ounce glass, without ice, so it doesn’t get watery. CSL will soon have Bloody Caesars, made with Clamato rather than tomato juice.

Press Club Bar: The menu includes a half-dozen Bloody Mary variations, including one with Qingdao beer; tasty but pricey. (Note: I hear the St. Regis Hotel, which houses The Press Club Bar, is undergoing some renovations, so I’ll visit soon and check this out.)

Before closing, The Big Easy made a nice Bloody Mary.

These are the nights to enjoy a drink on a rooftop, deck or patio, and my favorite spots remain Pavillion and Stone Boat Cafe, with other good options being Drum and Bell, Frank’s Place and Q Bar. Remember, our lungs filter pollution from this city’s air and a strong collective outside drinking effort might allow us to spot a star or two some evening. (Note: Pavillion offers the added flashback value of hearing Wham!, Huey Lewis, The Vapors and Jackson Browne within an hour.) / John Bull Pub, run by legendary bar proprietor Frank Siegel, is saying toodleloo London and hello Houston as it transforms into a Texas BBQ joint (see “We Got Email” / Zing by Doodoo, an esteemed member of the Bad Bar Name Hall of Fame, is also changing identities and will reemerge as Thai restaurant Serve the People, which is hardly a better name given that it evokes cannibalism. / 49 kuai for a pint of Carlsberg at Face. Ouch! / The Bookworm celebrated its one-year anniversary yesterday. With tasty food, interesting lectures, live music, plenty of books for sale or loan, and an extensive beverage menu, this place has been a runaway success. Not surprisingly, its incredible popularity can make it tough for wireless seekers to get a seat, and that can mean occasional forays to Le Petit Gourmand or SPR Coffee. / Browns now serves “jungle juice” during Wednesday ladies’ nights, which means people may soon be swinging from the rafters as well as dancing on the bar. Speaking of Browns, the foam party two weekends ago saw bubbles upon bubbles for most of the night, but they had burst by Sunday brunch. The place was virtually empty, yet it took over 20 minutes to get a simple breakfast and the COFFEE MACHINE WAS BROKEN! “If this had been my first visit to Browns, I would never go back,” said a downright bitter and caffeine-withdrawn M-Dawg. / Nearby, The Loft has renamed itself Hot Loft. I have no punch line to do justice to this marketing brilliance. / Reader K.S. aka Killer Schoolmarm has spoken to the owner of recently chai’d The Big Easy and says the Louisiana-style hotspot will again grace our city, retaining the spirit of its original interior, but with a new outside look (more to come on this). / M-Dawg and I visited Q Bar two Saturdays ago and waited not only 15 minutes to order, but also 30 minutes in vain for our drinks. With parched throats, we went to Phil’s Pub and soon had Gin Tonics at one-third the cost. It seems to me that Q Bar is best when providing quality cocktails in a tranquil environment, which suggests a need to focus on speeding up drink delivery rather than on, say, hiring a DJ to play house music. Translation: I want my dry martini and John Lee Hooker! Fortunately, the drinks were coming fast and slightly furious during a visit earlier this week. / Speaking of which, Trevor and Kenn from Alternate Paradigm will slip into aprons and host an end-of-summer BBQ on Q Bar’s rooftop (September 23, 2 PM-late). Twenty-five kuai gets you a cheeseburger, two hot dogs, grilled veggies or six wings, all of which come with a baked potato. / Skipping back to Phil’s, I visited several times recently and rediscovered the joys of cheap but decent cocktails, 30-kuai Erdinger, and a friendly neighborhood pub atmosphere. Moreover, after a long stint in Qingdao , owner Phil is back and teamed up with Sally. My only recommendation for this place: vaporize the PlayStation console, or at least anyone using it. / The new branch of Raj held a party last Saturday night with the expected buffet of Indian food and traditional dancing. The rooftop is ideal for enjoying a few brew (from 15 kuai for Qingdao to 25 kuai for Kingfisher) or some wine (though those puny glasses have to go), before heading to nearby Bed or Drum and Bell. / The Stone Boat has upgraded its wine and cocktail menu over the past year and credit goes to Amy and Jonathan. The Martini and Mojito are better, though the latter is still light on alcohol, and it is nice to enjoy wine in a proper glass in such a relaxing spot.

(From Beijing Boyce XXIV, first emailed on September 21, 2006)

Email: “Your comments on Rui Fu suggest powers of observation so weak that you would no doubt have trouble matching socks, finding Waldo or counting the fingers on one hand, let alone reviewing a club. “The main floor is divided into two large narrow rooms joined by an opening,” you claim. In fact, there is but one room. “…tables and chairs, then lounge areas, flow until they meet that opening, beyond which figures appear as silhouettes,” you claim. In fact, the “beyond” is actually the first room reflected in a mirror. Nice work, Sherlock Holmes. If you could learn to develop some characters, you might have a future in fiction. (By the way, I loved your “plush karaoke, generic hotel casino, and modernized opium den” reference — kisses!)“ - B. Boyce

BB: I thought I’d beat someone to the punch on that one. Rui Fu does, in fact, have one room. In my own defense, I’m easily distracted, the mirror on the far side is *really* shiny, and it does look like a passageway. Here’s the worst part: Around 10 PM one night, I was writing a review of Rui Fu based on a single one-hour visit and felt that was unfair, so I decided to delay the newsletter, threw on some decent clothes, headed over there, ended up taking to owner Henry Li for an hour, got a better feel for the club, and then came back and ADDED the part about two rooms. Yes, in this case, more research resulted in greater inaccuracy. Go figure.

Email: “W Sports Bar does not have a pool table.” - W. Thomas

b: I was wrong (again). Last issue, I wrote that W has a table hockey game buried amid enough stuff to make for a most excellent yard sale, including, “[a] ping pong table, dartboard, big-screen TV, pool table, art, grand piano, foosball table, etc.”

My bad: mae yo pool table.

Nevertheless, I won’t retract the ensuing comment: “Is there anywhere else in town where you might simultaneously hear “Who’s serve?,” “Bull’s eye!,” “I’ll have two beers, please,” “Eight ball, corner pocket,” and “This is simply too Dadaist for my taste,” all while someone chops out Mozart and a Formula 1 race shows?”

Even without a table, that “eight ball” comment could still easily be heard from a confused ping pong player, coverage of the world pool championships on the big screen, or… actually, forget it, there’s no way I’m going to make a cheap baggy pants joke.

Email: “You’ve listed Club Football as one of our editor’s picks - NO! It’s the unique RED BALL BAR - can you issue a correction?” - H. La

BB: I was wrong again (again). (People should be used to this by now, but no, in flood the emails.) This time, an eagle-eyed staffer from that’s Beijing (TBJ) pointed out that I listed Club Football, rather than Red Ball Bar, as an honorable mention as bar of the year.

(”I love the Ball because it’s so unique and different. There’s a smashing atmosphere, the staff are so friendly and helpful, it’s superb value [where else can you get a bottle/carton of decent wine for RMB 50?] and it’s so different from any other bar I’ve been to,” he/she enthused.)

Fair enough. Correction issued. To err is human, they say, as TBJ itself showed by not giving a single editor’s pick to Browns, even though that place won the popular vote, is frequented by other bar owners and employees… well, you know the story (and yes, that was a cheap shot).

Aside 1: Most of my British friends hate Browns. They disdainfully describe it as typical of this or that horrible bar in London, Muckchester, Corkingham or wherever they call home. Message received — about a million times so far. And I’m sure the Beijing natives living in the Isles aren’t overly fond of the Chinese restaurants there. Such is life. The thing is, we’re not in Britain, nor do most of us hail from there, and Browns is what it is — a place for good, clean fun. Where else will you find seven young guys raucously celebrating a birthday while nearby two couples in their seventies happily boogie to eighties tunes? Not cool, you say? Well, some people dislike pretentiousness or simply aren’t trendy, thus we need Browns, the great melting pot of bars in this city. So, for the love of Buddha, and Ben Elton, please stop the hating! Pretty please? Pretty please with Boddington foam and frozen blood pudding shavings on top?

Aside 2: The mainstream media must be disheartened when amateurs such as yours truly turn on their powers of perception and score a major news scoop. Take my expose on the White Man Overbite dancing epidemic at several Sanlitun hot spots a while back. The China Daily, Wall Street Journal and their kin completely missed that one. Then there’s my most recent scoop: uncovering a direct link between eyeglass-wearing styles and bar success. The evidence accumulated during my lengthy investigation would fill multiple volumes, but let me present two pieces. First, a recent TBJ story about its bar awards ceremony shows not one, not two, but three victorious owners wearing eyeglasses atop their heads, as though they had visually challenged hair follicles that were looking at the ceiling and possibly to a vote-producing deity beyond. Second, numerous other winning owners not pictured in the story were spotted at the ceremony wearing glasses in a similar manner. The link is obvious, but what of its significance? While it is difficult to quantify the positive effects of, for example, a pair of Ray-Ban bifocal sunglasses on revenue, my guess is 22.7 percent, give or take 0.3 percent. (Rose-colored lenses and those for nearsightedness would obviously have less impact.) Contrast this to bar owners who wear baseball hats backwards: I estimate that such low-brows typically see their businesses go bankrupt in a matter of weeks and also stand a fifty-fifty chance of spontaneously combusting. The lesson is simple: bar success is yours if you keep your glasses pointing upward and keep your ball caps pointing forward, and ideally do both (glasses over caps, of course). And remember, you heard it here first.

Email: “It is tres terrible to hear about the Big Easy. It easily had some of the best jazz and singers since my days on

before heading for Vietnam in ‘67. Are they going to open somewhere else?” - J.W.

BB: That’s a really good question and I don’t have a clue as to the answer. Maybe The Big Easy will relocate beside the new Latinos! Anyone out there have some inside information?

(From Beijing Boyce XXIII, first emailed on August 31, 2006)

China Daily reports that Louisiana-themed The Big Easy will be chai’d on Sunday. Chaoyang Park authorities voided the bar’s 13-year lease, signed in 1998, in order to make space for a “peace plaza,” although they didn’t reveal whether this will be a government or commercial venture, states the newspaper. The creative layout, spirited music and Bloody Marys of The Big Easy will be missed. / Before losing its trio of capable bartenders earlier this year, Midnight packed in partiers and pumped out 50-kuai cocktails. Now, a signboard out front advertises 10-kuai drinks, including — and some might prefer this one with two paramedics, stomach pump and stretcher – Gin and Coke. / Browns, bursting at the seams last Saturday night, smartly anchored an ice-filled claw-footed bathtub of bottled beer just inside the door and thus siphoned off some of the thirsty patrons teeming at the bar. (Suggestion: Sell bottled water from the tub, too.) / Berber N, home of tasty kebabs before construction forced its closure on Sanlitun North earlier this year, has reopened across from Tongli Studios. Never have skewered chicken butts been more savory. / The last time I saw words such as “closed for maintenance work,” they were plastered on the door at First Cafe, which shortly thereafter pounded into coaster-size bits. That is, until Tuesday — and I hope it is coincidence — when I spotted them in neat longhand beside the entrance to Mojito, a fairly new place that has Beijing’s only draft Weihenstephaner. (Could a beer have a better name for the China market? The first half sounds delightfully Mandarin and the second evokes the Deutschland.) / Contrary to popular belief, Beijing does have table hockey, courtesy of W Sports Bar, where it is buried amid the ping pong table, dartboard, big-screen TV, pool table, art, grand piano, foosball table, etc. Is there anywhere else in town where you might simultaneously hear “Who’s serve?”, “bull’s eye!”, “I’ll have two beers, please”, “eight ball, corner pocket” and “this is simply too Dadaist for my taste,” all while someone chops out Mozart and a Formula 1 race shows? / Deep in Sanlitun South, a new bar is opening on the second floor of the building that Beer Mania calls home. With W Sports Bar, Q Bar and Yes Club nearby, a new party zone seems to be forming. / Speaking of Q Bar: one crane, four hours, and a dozen people. That’s about what it took to get a five-meter tree and some stone flower beds atop this bar’s increasingly green sixth-floor deck a few weeks ago. Fortunately, should the day come, it will only take a few seconds to get them back down. / With its latest Chicago blues act having returned stateside, Icehouse, the bar part of RBL, now features a mix of local and foreign talent in the form of the Rhythm Dogs (Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays). Meanwhile, the employee turnstile spins on as Chef Dan Segal, who joined RBL this year after working at the former Louisiana restaurant in the Hilton, has left for Hong Kong. / Stone Boat continues with its funky live music line-up. The next three Fridays feature Enfants Terribles (electro-jazz, August 11), Muwen (traditional instruments, August 18) and Hanggai (”Mongol roots,” August 25), while Panjir Trio plays Saturdays all month. / Speaking of which, shortly after announcing the readers’ choices for its recent bar and club awards, that’s Beijing (TBJ) published its “editor’s picks.” Top spot of the year honors went to Stone Boat (good ambience and music, though the drinks and service are spotty), with honorable mentions to Area (was it on the ballot?) and Club Football (known primarily for its soccer pitches) [Ed. The bar was in fact Redball]. Nothing against those places, but I don’t think collectively they had the impact of Browns. It exploded onto the bar scene this year, is busy beyond belief, appeals to most every age group, nationality and profession, influences and attracts as customers other bar owners and employees, offers decent food and a good draft beer selection, and, last but not least, won the readers’ vote. Love it or hate it, the place has made a mark. By the way, TBJ deserves kudos for organizing these awards. Cynics claim the magazine uses them to placate sponsors, but since each of the 20 categories has one winner and seven losers, more clients are likely to be upset than pleased. (And if you don’t believe it, then a band of TBJ staffers will roll up their gargantuan 250-page magazines and knock you about like a pinata. Or, maybe not.) / Fromage fans must be quick on the return key trigger when they get Beijing Cheese Society invites. Next week’s California-themed event at Palais sold out in a few hours. / Correction: Last issue, I wrote that 5:19 Bar and Grill was starting a darts league. In fact, it is one of the hosts of the Beijing International Darts League, which welcomes new teams and venues (email Chris “Elvis” Milward at commish@beijing-darts.com).

(From Beijing Boyce XXII, first emailed on August 12, 2006)

that’s Beijing announces its annual bars and clubs awards tonight. Below, in capital letters, are the places I think deserve to win (all in my extremely humble opinion, of course).

Hotel Bar

I usually frequent hotel bars for work-related reasons and have to give Centro credit: there is always a decent number of people, usually decent martinis and sometimes decent live jazz. In terms of slickness, it’s about as dependable as Beijing bars get. Expect this category to be much more crowded next year with new bars in the Crowne Plaza, Hilton and other hotels competing against older ones such as Centro, Hyatt’s Redmoon and Shangri La’s Cloud Nine.

Bar Snacks

Saddle (burritos) and Fish Nation (our fine-finned friend with chips) both offer good filler in Sanlitun north, Bellagio has the Taiwanese angle covered, Cafe Pause, while technically not a bar, has tasty snacks up in the 798 Art District, and there are innumerable kebab stands where night owls may bulk up on meat and fat, not to mention a week’s worth of salt. Decent eats these are all, but I’m giving a slight edge to two places: Mojito, which despite it’s somewhat car-park like feel offers up the super tasty Mexican hamburger, and The Den, which pumps out the pizza and deep-fried goodies 24/7.

Place to Dance

A few years ago I did the White Man Shuffle as well as any endomorph. Alack and alas, I have now regressed to a mere wiggle, usually in the shadows, and what could be more ideal than a place where everyone else’s eyes are glued to the writhers busting moves on the bar top. The award thus goes to Browns, with honorable mentions to Suzie Wong’s and Maggie’s.

Cheap drinks

Phil’s Pub: A standout among the plethora of 10-kuai drink joints, with friendly owners, a decent layout and better-than-average drinks, not to mention a convenient location just 200 yards from my apartment (how selfish). Plus, the place lets patrons order in kebabs.

People Watching

Apertivo, No-name Bar, Centro, Maggie’s and numerous other places all merit mention in this tough category, but if a winner must be named, and if it counts as a bar, this award goes to The Bookworm, where you can not only scope out the patrons, but also overhear phone calls and conversations, discover a potential mate’s reading preferences (“Dan Brown? Next!“), and see if their caffeine fix comes from lattes, Diet Cokes or Irish coffees. (Yes, yes, The Bookworm is not exactly a bar or club, but they do sell ample quantities of beer, wine and cocktails, and besides, that’s Beijing has the place listed on its ballot, so blame them!)

Happy Hour

Centro offers great high-end value with their two-for-one cocktails, Beer Mania has 500 ML of Belgian draft for 40 kuai and discounted bottled Belgian Beer until 8 PM, The Den offers two-for-one pizza and beer, and Cheers pours two Wild Turkey shots for 30 RMB until 10 PM. What makes a happy hour superior depends on where you feel comfortable and what you like to drink, and the places all above excel in their own ways, so this is a four-way tie.

Best Outdoor

Another tough category, with contenders such as Bar Blu and Top Club (nice rooftops, same building), Q Bar (an even bigger rooftop, though the chairs are a bit hard), Hai Bar (a dark horse that offers cheap beers and views of Houhai on one side and the drum and bell towers on the other), Nuage (the same views, but fancier decor and higher prices), Suzie Wong’s (a nice getaway from the crowds inside, plus some of the best plastic plants in town), and The Pomegranate (for those in Shunyi). But the best of the bunch are Stone Boat, a small Qing-dynasty era spot set on a pond surrounded by trees and rocks in central Beijing‘s Ritan Park, and The Pavillion, with a lovely backyard made extremely cozy with comfortable wicker seating, elegant trees, and mellow lighting.

Business Networking

For drawing a diverse crowd that includes business executives, English teachers, homemakers, writers, MBA students and most everyone else, the award should go The Bookworm. There is no place, except perhaps for First Cafe last year, where I have made more connections.

Best Place for a Date

Le Cafe Igosso: Above-average food and a good wine list in a low-pressure atmosphere. If you’re looking at a Sunday afternoon, rather than a weekday dinner, then it’s No Name Bar. And if it’s an evening drink, rather than a meal, try the Q Bar, although going through that somewhat seedy hotel in which it is located might send some messages (possibly wanted, possibly not) to your significant other.

Student Hangout

The Loo: A bar that is long-closed and from another lifetime (not to mention another country). For this category, I’ll make like a soccer player and pass.

Best Beer

Browns, for its draft selection (including recent additions Stella Artois and Beck’s), and Beer Mania for its wide range of bottled Belgian beers and its Belgian draft.

Best Cocktails

This depends more on the bartenders than the establishments. I’ve had solid drinks at Centro, great mint-based cocktails at Garden of Delights, and some good but cheap beverages, courtesy of Sally and Alex at Phil’s Pub. I also remember tasty cocktails at Alfa, Jazz Ya, Browns (hit and miss), 5:19, The Big Easy, and places too numerous to mention. But in the end, only one place consistently pumps out a wide range of high-quality drinks, and thus the award goes to George Zhou and Echo Sun at Q Bar.

Bar of the Year

This bar has raised its beer prices, lost key staff, struggled with its interior decorating, dealt with DJ turmoil, faced numerous other challenges and, despite it all, had a greater impact on Beijing’s drinking scene than any other establishment in the past year. This bar has exerted influence because it consistently provides good clean fun, because it scores well in terms of design, atmosphere, food and beer selection, and because it is frequented by a sizeable number of the city’s bar owners, managers and employees. Love it or hate it, this bar has firmly planted itself in the party landscape, providing not only great value for patrons, but also food for thought for those in the industry, and this combination should earn it the bar of the year award. This bar is Browns.

(From Beijing Boyce XX, first emailed on July 13, 2006)

Ex-First Cafe, ex-Midnight bartenders George Zhou and Echo Sun will launch Q Bar on Sanlitun North, near Beer Mania, with the soft opening due in early May. Backed by foreign investors, Q Bar will focus on — no surprise — cocktails and have outdoor seating. / Based on a dozen pass-bys, Midnight has seen a huge drop in business since losing its bartenders a month ago in a debacle that, on one hand, has been a lose-lose-lose situation for the owners, staff and customers, and on the other hand, business as usual in Beijing. / Meanwhile, First Cafe, my favorite bar from late 2004 to summer 2005, has gone from being the city’s best-kept secret to an overpriced drinking hole. The cozy ambience no longer compensates for the anemic Bloody Mary (40 kuai) and passable Gin and Tonic (50 kuai), unless one has an excess of money and a dearth of taste. If you go, eschew the cocktails for beer and shots. / Speaking of which, the cost of a Gin and Tonic, using Bombay Sapphire, at four places last Saturday night: Phil’s Pub, 20; icehouse, 40; First Cafe, 50; Champagne, 55.2 (yes, they actually charge miao). Phil’s offers great value; icehouse and Champagne feature bands (the former’s is particularly good), and First Cafe has some atmosphere and, uh, a sit-down toilet. / Mint shortage! Pavillion was out two weeks ago, Champagne and icehouse last Saturday, and Mexican Wave last Sunday, the latter denying Agent Red Wolf a taste of its Mojito just hours before she finalized her top-five list (see below). Is this a niche market for an herb entrepreneur or do bars simply find the Mojito too time-consuming to make? / ASC Fine Wines is celebrating its tenth anniversary. It’s been a decade for Don St. Pierre, Sr. and crew, and they are the team to beat when it comes to wine distribution in China . See Closing Shots for their celebratory wine and Riedel glass special. / The Big Easy is on the chai-ing block and April looks to be its last stand. Catch a final Bloody Mary on the veranda at one of Beijing ’s landmark bars. / From Margaritas to Martinis, drinks are free for the ladies at Browns after 9 PM on Wednesdays. The downside: the gentlemen sometimes find their orders — those would be the drinks on which the bar MAKES money — backlogged behind 20 cocktails, even for something as simple as Whisky shots. / The Timeout readers’ party last Thursday at icehouse was packed and the band was rocking. The place was also hopping last Saturday night. That long hallway is still creepy and reminds me of “The Cask of Amontillado” (BYOT — Bring Your Own Trowel). / A Molinari Sambuca launch party was held in Beijing last Thursday at the ” European-style Conference Center ” in Chaoyang Park (thanks to SF for the invite). I found the cocktails either too sweet or too light, and instead took my Sambuca straight, which helped numb me toward the painfully bad presentation and foreign poseurs. Listening to three (translated) speeches was bearable, but pity the (Italian?) reps brought on stage some five times over ninety minutes, with almost everyone oblivious to them. And the following words, unless uttered for amusement purposes, should never start a speech at an alcohol launch: “In the course of human development…” By the way, these foreigners with weird glasses (i.e. primary blue with gold sparkles) and/or un-tucked designer dress shirts and/or the hair that’s supposed to look stylish but is more reminiscent of a bad mousse day and/or the “I’m a socialite in China, even though I’d be lucky to be runner up back home in a KFC assistant manager hiring campaign” attitude — where do they rent them? Uh oh, stop me, stop me… uh oh… I’m going… into… oh, no… day… dream… mode…

[I’m beside a guy wearing black heavy-rimmed glasses with mother-of-pearl inlay. His head is weighed down with mousse; he wears a neatly un-tucked dress shirt. When I first spoke to him, he gave me a look that said: “I’m in a charitable mood, so I will allow you to humor me.” We have just exchanged “pleasantries.”]

Me: “So, what do you do in Beijing ?” [Yes, that’s a terrible question.]

Him: “What DON’T I do? Let’s just say that I’m in consulting.”

“Are you in any particular field?”

“Actually, I’m talented in numerous areas, but I guess if I had to pick one, I’d say communications.”

“That sounds, uh, extremely difficult.”

[My rapt attention has warmed him up. He re-untucks his shirt and continues.]

“Yes, it’s quite hard. I spend a lot of time on research, academic stuff, with a focus on a younger demographic. I’d hazard to call it leading edge, you know?”

[I nod, faux awe radiating outwards.]

“It’s very proactive. I get a chance to learn about them, they get a chance to learn about me; it’s the cross-cultural exchange I find so rewarding.”

“Hang on! You wouldn’t be consulting in ‘education,’ would you?”

“Uh, as I said, I think my field is best described as communications…”

“Hey, are you teaching English to kids!?”

With this, my “speaking partner,” as they say in his field, suddenly needs to refresh his drink.

This exchange is an exaggeration, of course, but there are a lot of poseurs out there. I recommend that expatriates ask themselves at least once a month: if I suddenly had to return home, what kind of job could I get? For the vast majority of us, the answer is humbling. [By the way, I’m not criticizing English teachers, as many are hardworking and dedicated, and many of the most successful people I know were English teachers at one time, so please save the hate e-mail, even though it would probably have fewer spelling mistakes than most of the stuff I get. Actually, I don’t even want to criticize poseurs, either. Please DON’T start tucking in your shirts! Enjoy it while it lasts, and remember, this was all just a daydream. Now, back to opening shots…]

The Pavillion has moved its furniture about, printed new menus, and dropped the price on drinks, or at least on Long Islands . When I visited two weeks ago, the proprietor Russell Probert kindly treated me to a beer and said work was about to begin out back, where a Mediterranean restaurant will be added and landscaping done. / Le Petit Gourmand’s new sundeck is, by all reports, very cozy. Since my “live bug falling out of Parmesan can and onto pizza” incident earlier this year, I’ve only been back once and stuck to the high-value lattes — big mug, 15 kuai. / I went to Saddle and ordered the large burrito (50 kuai; didn’t the same size used to be 35 kuai?). The waitress leaned against the counter, loudly chewed her gum (mouth wide open) and cow-stared as I ate my meal. Not comfortable. The music, which included John Cougar and Ram Jam, was good. / Last week, I reported that Trio will soon open across from the Lido Hotel. It’s actually the Rosedale Hotel. / Cafe Pause will apparently change its menu — again. The blue cheese and spinach dumplings with pesto sauce were fantastic, everyone loved them, and I was annoyed they were no longer available when I recently hiked all the way to Dashanzi. Consistency, especially with the good things in life (like blue cheese dumplings), is a virtue. / I really enjoy the unpretentious patrons and atmosphere at Modern Nomads. Simply put, it’s a fun to place to kick back for an hour, sip a Mongolian vodka martini and watch live throat singing and pop music.

(From Beijing Boyce XIV, first emailed on April 6, 2006)

The Big Easy faces imminent destruction and this apparently has instilled a sense of futility in the bartenders. Agent Red Wolf, EC, GZ and I visited two Saturdays and found the Mojito quite poor and the usually dependable Bloody Mary so mild that EC added our fiery chicken wing dipping sauce to give it zip. (Strangely, hers came stirred, mine came shaken.) Then there was the bartender making a martini. First, he fruitlessly tried spearing olives from the jar, thus leaving the drink in the shaker too long. Then, he used the rounded edge of another container to strain, thus dumping ice into the glass. Then, he tried to pour the drink–including the ice but excluding the olives–back into the shaker and, frustrated, poked his fingers into the glass. Ai ya! I plan to visit Big Easy a few times yet and hope to leave with a better final memory than this.

(From Beijing Boyce XIII, first emailed on March 24, 2006)

A lot is made of the growing number of clubs on Gongti West Road, which has risen from zero to ten in less than a year, and includes Babyface, Cargo, Angel, and numerous copycats. How can these places survive? Perhaps, it’s because they are going after young, moneyed Chinese - the “Chivas and green tea club” - a rapidly growing group.

More troubling is the increasing number of players seeking a chunk of the moneyed expatriate market - not exactly the fastest growing demographic - especially those opening multifunction establishments. Just opened: Browns, a British-style pub that will add adjoining sake, tequila and vodka bars; just re-opened: icehouse, a blues bar attached to a high-end Japanese restaurant and a lounge; soon to open: Trio, a three-floor facility with a New York-style grill, the new Frank’s Place, and The Cellar. I’ve already indicated to some of the investors in these multipurpose places that I think they are a bit mad. They have assured me that the feeling is mutual (and several claim to have proof to back up their assertions.) But, when you add in other newcomers, such as The Pavillion and The Pomegranate, and older establishments ranging from John Bull Pub to Big Easy to Suzie Wong to Centro, one wonders if there are enough patrons to go around. I started breaking down some of these places - including Browns, icehouse, Trio and Pavillion - into pluses, minuses and questions marks in order to get a grip on who has the best chance of surviving. Since I’m already running over this issue and since I just got to Shanghai and will be running around doing research (translation: meeting friends and checking restaurants and bars), I’ll pick up on this theme next issue.

(From Beijing Boyce XI, first emailed on February 23, 2006)

I don’t understand why Big Easy (Chaoyang Park, south gate) doesn’t get more exposure. The layout, bands, bar grub and Bloody Marys are all good. I’ve been there a half-dozen times and always enjoyed myself. / I’m increasingly finding myself at The Pavillion. Last Saturday night, I sank into one of those huge leather chairs and split a bottle of sherry (RMB280) with a friend. I was back the next morning for the buffet brunch - its hardy fare with bottomless coffee and tea (how about adding juice?) for 68 kuai. / My friend K-Dog [Kraft-D] wonders why every bar seems to use those bland bottled olives in their martinis. Is anyone out there using high-end garnishes? If not, why not? / Beijing’s service industry took a serious hit when Li Yan moved back to his hometown in Henan Province. He was a security guard at my office and was friendly, courteous and efficient. Whether helping to direct traffic, unloading parcels or loaning taxi money to office workers who had forgotten their wallets, he epitomized good service and will be missed. (Note: this guy should be training the guards, not working as one.) / Finally, it being a new year and with the newsletter now eight issues and 20,000 words old, I extend thanks to six people who have gone above and beyond in backing my little e-newsletter project, whether it be in terms of testing the city’s establishments (Sherry Tan, Mike Wester), giving background on the food and drink scene (Frank Siegel, Don St. Pierre) or providing moral support (Ro King, Kevin Dempsey). I really do appreciate their help and that of everyone else who has written to me. Cheers, BB.

(From Beijing Boyce VIII, first emailed on January 13, 2006)

Who would have thunk that a pub in an apartment complex (Blue Castle) could be so snug? This long and narrow place features two floors, with the upper level accessible by two staircases, and plenty of cubby holes for small groups of friends. There is a nice side room, though some among us found the wallpaper (yes, some places have moved beyond paint and cinder blocks) a bit psychedelic. “The bathroom shouldn’t be upstairs,” said one in our group. “The orange juice is good,” said another. “The upper level is faintly reminiscent of the Big Easy,” said a third. The staff could afford to be a bit more attentive (empty glasses over here!), though the French bartender is friendly. Wobbly chairs at the bar. Guinness and Kilkenny on tap. Free hot peanuts. If I lived nearby, Brewery Tap might become a favorite haunt.

(From Beijing Boyce VII, first emailed on December 29, 2005)

Time is running out for spending fantastic fall nights on a rooftop or deck. Options include The Big Easy (relaxing), Suzie Wong (people watching), Nuage (views of Hou Hai and the drum and bell towers) and Hai Bar (the same, but more rustic and cheaper). / Want to see the Astros win the World Series? Be a benchwarmer at the Goose and Duck or John Bull Pub. / Wine industry bigwigs constantly come to town since everyone wants a drop of China. I’m working on putting together wine tasting listings. / If you haven’t seen Ah-Q bring down the house at CD Jazz Club, catch their show on Thursday nights. Trombonist Matt Roberts says the house has been packed of late and he’s trying to figure out an encore. Ah-Q was playing at icehouse but the club, being a blues bar, wanted an, um, blues band, which makes you wonder why they hired a jazz one to begin with. / Steak and Eggs vegetarian omelet with hash browns and toast: RMB19. Get this and three other breakfast specials before 11 AM, or four RMB25 lunch specials, all October, as the place celebrates its anniversary. / Would Summergate wine please get a web page? You guys have some nice Antinori products, but make it too hard to find out about them. / The Starving Artists Party on September 15 at Yan Club was another finely run event by that’s Beijing, which includes the restaurant awards at Bar Blu and bar awards at Zing by Doodoo’s. It helps to partner with ASC Fine Wines, who poured Chilean Sauvignon Blanc and Cabernet Sauvignon, and Sculpting in Time, which provided the eats. Funnily enough, I ran into a pair of Italian journalists were had just arrived in Beijing that day. And where did they hear about the party? From another journalist in North Korea. / The next issue includes Marketing Beverages on the Great Wall, Beer Mania, Books: Those Things Made Out of Paper, $10,000 wine glasses, A Bar with an Identity Crisis, and more. / Build the community: If you know people who would like this newsletter, pass it on. They just need to send a message to me to get on the mailing list. / Again, your comments and questions are welcome. I do realize that this issue is nearly 3,000 words long. Believe me: my fingers barely have the strength to pick up the single shot of 10-year-old Balvenie Single Malt I allow myself each month. Cheers, BB.

(From Beijing Boyce II, first emailed on October 20, 2005)