Watch arguably the best Chinese New Year fireworks video of the past 5000 years

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The stress of work deadlines, this blog’s enduring technical problems and a lack of preparation for the upcoming holidays recently inspired me to take a mental vacation and make a few (kind of) Upworthy-inspired headlines to celebrate Chinese New Year (see below). This also seems an appropriate time to post — as per annual tradition — a pair of Youtube videos for friends outside of China. They show the scope of the holiday fireworks here, as seen from my apartment window, and will awe and shock and amaze and surprise you. And, if you get too close, potentially blow your mind…

As the clock strikes midnight…

Just outside my window…

An Upworthy Chinese New Year…

upworthy cny

Year of the Horse? Meet the inspiring donkey that calls it discrimination.

If large gift-wrapped boxes of fruit were solid gold, these people would be the richest in the world.

You won’t believe what happened when this Beijing man spent the holidays asking hundreds of strangers, “Want some stuff?”

This man was blown into next Tuesday while playing with fireworks. How he returned from the future will amaze you.

Cut in front of 17 million people at Beijing Railway Station with this one weird trick.

Meet the dumpling maker who will change your mind about shredded cardboard as a filling.

When these people were told to stop letting off fireworks indoor, they did something amazing. They let off even more.

This foreigner’s complaints about Chinese New Year fireworks are worth .008 seconds of your time.

The shocking part of this photo isn’t the size of the dumpling. It’s why this man is eating while nude.

This man’s boss gave him an empty red envelope for Chinese New Year. You won’t believe what he filled it with in return.

The Year of the Snake will be out of work next week. You’ll be shocked at who offered it a job.

This little girl wrote the cutest epic poem about the difference between smog and fireworks smoke. Read it here. Out loud.

This woman’s daughter brought her barbarian boyfriend home for the holidays. How she broke them up with this one simple trick.

Meet the man who gave a Chinese orphanage two thousand kilos of fireworks.

This official’s son asked for a Ferrari for Chinese New Year. You won’t believe what his dad got him instead.

This foreigner decided to travel in China during New Year. You’ll laugh in joy and sadness at how he breaks down in utter frustration.

Most people think China has over one billion people. Here’s the shocking reason why they’re right.

This New Year video about color-blind people and red envelopes will bring a tear to your eye. The fact it is done in black and white makes it even better.

chen and a huge pile of money

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