“Help! I need help!”
“What is your location, sir!?”
“I’m desperate [muffled] help me!”
“Sir, what is your location?”
“Central Park! In Central Park! Building 32!”
“What is your situation?”
“Sausage! I! I! I don’t have any! And I [muffled] boss is coming over [muffled] loves sausages! Aarrgggghhlluuggaaaooorrrwwweee!”
“What is that last sound you made?”
“I don’t know. I can’t read.”
“Stay calm. What specific sausage is affecting you.”
“Chorizo! I need chorizo. A dozen of [muffled] now!”
“Please stay in your location. We’re dispatching assistance.”
While Beijing residents have endured needless suffering through the periodic sausage shortages that have occurred in our fair city, a new development means no one need go chorizo-less again. Nicknamed by some “The Ham-bulance“, the vehicle above will soon be available to handle sausage emergencies in Beijing. Note: Owner Andy Horowitz prefers the name, “Meat Ambulance“, saying it is less cutesy and of more substance. You can see his sausage prescriptions here.
Also of note:
Simon Ge BBQ has secured a steady supply of Clamato juice and has thus permanently added Bloody Caesars, a Canadian twist on the Bloody Mary, to the menu at rmb40. Co-owner So Chan has also named the barbecue area out front, where he has been grilling sausages, burgers, corn, marshmallows and more the past few weeks, as The Backyard Barbecue. Even though, as noted, it’s in the front. And there is no grass. I’m predicting an appearance by some AstroTurf.
Look for Tim’s Texas BBQ to celebrate six years in its location near the Silk Market with a big bash on August 24. Get free barbecued brisket and cold beer from 4 PM to 8 PM, says owner Tim Hilbert. Get ice-chilled beer anytime from that cooler just inside the door.
Chilean wine shop La Cava de Laoma opened in Sanlitun Soho last week with a portfolio tasting that some intriguing wines, including a couple of Pinot Noirs and the budget-friendly ‘Urban’ Cabernet Sauvignon at rmb110. You can the shop in Building 3, first floor, near Bella grocery store.
Finally, in need of a poolside brunch in Beijing? Book a space at Migas on Sundays and get free-flow burgers, salads, ice cream, cocktails and more, plus one pool, shower and umbrella for each group. Check the poster below for contact details.