two guys and a pie shiny gold shoes beijing china

Shiny shoes, pasties and The Man from Ironbark: Ten notes about Two Guys and a Pie

Kicks and giggles with toppings of pie and beer describes my Friday night stop at Two Guys and a Pie for an early start to Australia Day. Besides being a popular snack stop, this place is usually good for laughs – some intentional, some not — due to owners Andrew Papas and Matt Wong and a steady diverse stream of pie-loving patrons. Ten things observed / learned.

two guys and a pie shiny gold shoes beijing china

ONE: Wearing gold and green meant free toppings on this night. The shoes above clinched it for one woman, who in the course of ten minutes told us she lived in Korea and Pakistan before China, that she, her mom and her grandmother went to the same university and, after an escalating smart ass war with the owners, that, “Oh, now I remember, Australia Day is when you guys switched from being a prison to a country, right?” Ouch.

TWO: Singing an Australian song also meant free toppings. Two customers chose “Down Under” by Men at Work. We stopped them after the first verse.

THREE: Far more impressive was a guy who recited the lengthy Banjo Patterson poem “The Man from Ironbark” with only three breaths – one at the start, one at the end, one in between when he stopped for pie.

FOUR: Andrew is experimenting with pasties in order to happify Brit customers. I tried one with beef, peas and root vegetables. Good but I still prefer the sausage rolls and pies. I posted the pic below on Weibo and someone said it looks like a “giant dumpling”. Exactly.

pasties two guy and a pie beijing chinaFIVE: He also plans a Gangnam-style creation called The Psy Pie, possibly with stewed chicken, spinach and red pepper paste. A bulgogi pie might be good.

SIX: Turning to music, the owners are highly competitive when it come to whose speakers sound better. Andrew claims his are better (they aren’t) while Matt says his are superior (they are). More important is what is coming out of those speakers. Whoever came up with a Friday night playlist symbolized by Chris de Burgh’s “Lady in Red” must have two loose dingos in his bottom paddock.

SEVEN: Delivered: Three bottles of Bundaberg OP rum. Also cleans clogged pipes and repels zombies.

6d53e95djw1e16219o4tfjEIGHT: I wish the guys would add Coopers Pale Ale to the menu. Cascade. Meh. Crown. Meh. Coopers Pale Ale. Yeh

NINE: Look for tables out front come warmer weather, possibly live music, and some new pies (besides the Psy Pie).

TEN: A pair of woman approached the store but only one would enter. The other says she is refusing until the place has a chicken and mushroom pie. “When are you getting chicken and mushroom”, she said. “You must add chicken and mushroom. Chicken and mushroom is good. You really need a chicken and mushroom pie. Chicken and mushroom. Chicken. Mushroom. Chroom.” They also said, “You better not put that on your blog.”

Shiny shoes, pasties & The Man from Ironbark: Ten notes about Two Guys and a Pie. [Some very fun evenings in this spot]