UPDATE: Rich Akers of Gung Ho! went above and beyond and maybe even upside down on this one. Instead of just doing a draw, he apparently spent hours carefully analyzing each entry before ultimately picking a winner and giving kudos to other worthy entries. Before we get to the winners, a heads up about the ongoing contest for a four-course Thanksgiving dinner for six at Switch! Grill.
Here are Akers’ picks…
Honorable Mentions
“Mitt Romney pizza ~ White bread with very high edges.” – Alex
“Alan Wong ~ Alaskan crab meat, avocado, flame broiled tuna. Topped with imported Iranian caviar and edible gold.” – Alex
“Xzibit Pizza ~ Hey, we heard you were fond of pizza. We started with a basic margarita pizza with mozzarella and some basil. Then we made 6 more mini pizzas: mushroom, pepperoni, veggie, bbq chicken, tuna, anchovy, and put them on top of the margarita pizza. The crust is made of pizza rolls. Mangia!” – Alex
“Second Place
“THE KANYE WEST ~ Baked fish sticks (cod), Cheddar + Pepper Jack Cheese blend, Garlic Chili Sauce and Ranch, Jalapeños and chopped Onions.” — Kylie
“First Place!!!
“The Tina Tuna: A classic tuna and onion pizza on a tomato base, Jumpin’ (pepper)Jack Flash cheese, served on a dough that’s been rollin’… rollin’… rollin’… on the counter. Served with a side of perfect chicken legs.” – Mr Hao
Congratulations to Mr Hao and those he invites over for the ten Gung Ho! pizzas and case of Vedett Blonde from Duvel-Mortgaat.
——
Da Shan = Canadian bacon + Peking duck?
~
Like pizza? Like beer? Like creating recipes based on celebrities?
You do!? Then this contest is perfect for you.
All you need to do is pick a celebrity and create a pizza recipe in his or her honor. You will then be in the draw to get 10 pizzas from Gung Ho! and a case of Vedett Blonde from Duvel Moortgaat delivered to your home. Look how easy it is…
- The Jeremy Lin: Topped with Taiwan sausage, New York style pastrami and slow-smoked beef brisket from Houston. Ideally eaten while chilling on a friend’s sofa.
- The Da Shan: A layer of Canadian bacon hidden under a layer of Beijing duck on a crust lightly brushed with Ontario maple syrup.
- The Charlie Sheen: Topped with any eight ingredients as selected by a drunk blindfolded monkey. No two pizzas are ever the same!
It’s as easy as mozzarella cheesy. Here are the contest details:
- Leave a comment with the name and toppings for your celebrity pizza. I reserve the right to disqualify entries that are lazy ass, excessively rude, politically sensitive or have anything to do with Gangnam Style.
- The winner gets an assortment of ten Gung Ho! pizzas plus 24 bottles — aka a two-four — of Vedett Blond from Duvel Moortgat delivered to his or her home.
- If you don’t live in a Gung Ho! delivery area — in Sanlitun, Lido or Shuangjing – you can guzzle and gulp your prize on-site. Or find a friend who does live in one of those areas and have a house partay.
- You can enter multiple times but please leave each entry as a separate comment.
- The deadline is Monday, November 5, at 2:37 PM.
Note: I receive no payment for running this or any of my other contests. I simply think it is fun and Rich Akers (Gung Ho) and Nick Papa (Duvel Moortgaat) agree. Frankly, I think they might be the same dude: I have never seen them together and they eerily resemble each other. Especially Papa.
The only place to eat a Jeremy Lin pizza.
The Jeremy Lin: Topped with Taiwan sausage, New York style pastrami and slow-smoked beef brisket from Houston. Ideally eaten while chilling on a friend’s sofa. Bonus points if the cheese is arranged to look like the grooves on a basketball.
Robert Pattison-Kristen Stewart ‘Twilight’ Pie: As much cheese as you can handle topped with a wreath of garlic. Add tooth-shaped punctures randomly around the crust edge for added effect.
The Da Shan Pizza: A polite layer of Canadian bacon hidden beneath a layer of tender Beijing duck. Brush crust with Ontario maple syrup. Wear a Mandarin collar while eating. Gold lame optional…
The Joseph Rock “Drunken Mushroom” Pizza:
(Rock (1884–1962) was an Austrian-American explorer, geographer, linguist and botanist. He traveled extensively in Yunnan, Sichuan, southwest Gansu and eastern Tibet). Yunnan is famous for mushrooms, so you would marinate wild Chinese mushrooms in Vedett Blonde beer. Liberally strew oregano and other Gung Ho! “secret ingredients” that Rock likely encountered on his journeys in China so long ago. Served on organic wholewheat crust. A winner for the alcoholic vegetarian in your life.
Mitt Romney pizza
White bread with very high edges.
The Ron Jeremy: Smothered in cream cheese and topped with a 12″ hedgehog sausage, clams, and lots of flash-fried angel-hair pasta, this is the only pizza capable of eating itself!
Alan Wong
Alaskan crab meat, avocado, flame broiled tuna. Topped with imported Iranian caviar and edible gold.
Xzibit Pizza
Hey, we heard you were fond of pizza. We started with a basic margarita pizza with mozzarella and some basil. Then we made 6 more mini pizzas: mushroom, pepperoni, veggie, bbq chicken, tuna, anchovy, and put them on top of the margarita pizza. The crust is made of pizza rolls. Mangia!
The Fergie: Tender, juicy marinated rump-steak piled high on a bed of black-eyed peas and covered with lots of spicy jalapeno-jack cheese. Served in a trunk.
The Mitt Romney: A plain pepperoni lacking 53% of the pizza. You only get the 47%.
The Josh “Vegas” Lally: Lots of saugsage, covered in 151 shots, and served to you by showgirls.
so many misspellings in this post!
Blond!
Moortgat!
Boom Boom Boyce! Oi! Go fly a kite! Take off! Eh!
Not eligible, but for fun..
The Charlie Sheen pizza should be delivered by two scantily-clad porn-star ‘goddesses’ and would be advertised as the winning-est ‘rock star from Mars’ pizza ever created, with tiger blood, 7-gram rocks, and warlock dust. But sadly when delivered, just turns out to be delivered by that crazy leathered lunatic on the subway who mumbles to himself before shouting out random profanities. All that’s left of the pizza is a few leftover crusts and the wilted remnants of what looks like it could have once been appealing, and scattered around the top of the box is a white powder that you strongly suspect is powdered sugar, but you’re positive the lunatic truly believes was ‘the good stuff.’
The Taylor Swift Pizza: Any pizza you buy that is subsequently eaten by someone else.
The Tina Tuna: A classic tuna and onion pizza on a tomato base, Jumpin’ (pepper)Jack Flash cheese, served on a dough that’s been rollin’… rollin’… rollin’… on the counter. Served with a side of perfect chicken legs.
The Chuck Norris: Ground beef, extra-spicy jalapeno sausage and shredded habanero peppers on a tobasco sauce base. You don’t eat the Chuck Norris pizza… it pries your pansy mouth open and shoves itself down your piehole, punk.
The Bo Xilai: Half spicy, half seafood (like a hotpot). Beef, Lamb and Shrimp Paste with 100% Chinese ingredients. Includes a single poisoned slice for your wife to use however she sees fit.
The Oliver Twist: a little thin crust pizza with no toppings and a sprinkling of goat cheese. Cannot be ordered twice.
The Michael Jackson: a complex multi-layered pizza with a jazzy red sauce, several layers of white cheese (mozarella, cheddar, Parmesan), a smattering of black olives, and a surpris stuffed crust that will make you want to sing and dance and wonder what’s in the crust anyway but better not ask.
The Brutus: an unassumingly classic-looking pizza with a hidden layer of arsenic. Caveat emptor.
The Warren Buffet: a pizza comprised of all the simple ingredients, nothing complex, just safe investments.
The China Smack: Just full of people suffering
THE KANYE WEST: Baked fish sticks (cod), Cheddar + Pepper Jack Cheese blend, Garlic Chili Sauce and Ranch, Jalapeños and chopped Onions.
The Obama: Half white cheese and half not. Can dunk on the other pizza candidates.
The Chicken Little: Covered with juicy spring chicken cubes, smothered with a dense layer of creamy white sauce, topped with a sporadic sprinkling of fresh acorns. Served by an angsty teen screaming “the sky is falling!!” right before throwing the pizza on the table and running away.
The Arnold Scharzenegger: Extra thick white crust injected with pockets of juicy meat sauce, thick layers of tender beef, a scattering of mini Austrian sausage, served complete with a creamy Californian avocado dipping sauce with a hint of marijuana.
The Joan Rivers: shaved bits of New York deli style pastrami, with dollops of Russian sauce, spicy jalapeno slices, entire pizza tightly smothered with a thick layer of artificial American cheese.
The DJ Blackie: Swedish meatballs, Beijing roadside chuanr, and British Lancashire Bomb Cheese (the version with caramelized red onions) on a white crust.
The Anthony Tao (Beijing Cream blog): thin layer of sauce, minimal cheese, crispy hard crust, and an inappropriate assortment of extra’s on top that will shock you but leave you wanting to ask for more details.
The Politburo Pizza:
Exact recipe cannot be revealed until November 8th for state security reasons, but will include a VERY spicy red sauce and toppings that have been
1) Marinated in copious baijiu;
2) Smoked; and/or
3) Purchased (perhaps illegally) under someone else’s name.
The Snooki
Italian crust, American Cheddar, Jersey meatballs, covered with fake-tan-colored BBQ sauce and pickles! Comes served with a tiny baby meatball on the side.
The Sargent Pepper. This fiery pizza starts with simple pepperoni pizza base and is loaded with green and yellow peppers, and topped off with pepper flakes. The crust is wrapped around Jalapeño and mozzarella cheese.
SWEET!!
WOooo hooo! Pizza and beer party!!