Right on the hooves of taking “restaurant of the year” honors at the recent The Beijinger awards, it looks like Home Plate BBQ partners Seth Grossman, Adam Murray and Victoria Liu will soon kick off a second and much larger venue.
While the team wants to keep the location secret and will only say it is ten times bigger – they jokingly call it “the smoke-o-saurus” – all three have been spotted almost daily for two weeks in the 798 Art District. Either that’s the new spot or they have decided art is the proper investment vehicle for all that money brought by their new-found fame. I’m going with the former and expect the new surroundings to potentially inspire Murray to create a daily sculpture of brisket, baked beans and potato salad.
What they will talk about is how the new Home Plate BBQ will differ from the original. Here are three ways:
- There will do home brew. “We’ve seen what those Slow Boat and Great Leap guys do and figured, ‘How hard can it be?‘”, says Grossman. He says the plan is to buy some tanks, hops and kegs and make a dozen different beers, “including one you’ll swear tastes just like Texas Select.” He added that Murray will do some smoked meat infused bourbons that will double as “meals in a glass”.
- There will be a massive increase in marketing as Home Plate has agreed to a long-term deal with The Beijinger. Home Plate will get free ads and PR advice in exchange for providing the magazine’s staff with a weekly lunch, including an unlimited supply of baked beans and a draw for a six-pack of Asahi.
- There will be nightly entertainment. Not only will there be local bands that evoke the spirit of Home Plate, such as Mandy’s Unstable Table (or whatever that bluegrass-disco outfit is called), but also regular performances by both Grossman and Murray. “It’s something we’ve always wanted to do but lacked the space,” said Grossman, who says a pair of top-of-the-line dancing poles are already ordered. “My stage name’s Smoked Meat and Adam’s is Hot Link.” (As part of the deal with The Beijinger,managing editor Jonathan White will also dance weekly, under the name “Hawt Dawg“.) In any case, Grossman might be putting his “personality of the year” award at risk given word that Murray can ably perform the crowd-pleasing swivel hip / backwards showgirl move. (Note: Grossman prefers to call this form of entertainment “elevated dancing”, not “pole dancing”.)
In any case, expect this new Home Plate to open, well… never. As you have probably already guessed, this is an April Fool’s Day joke.