Beijing Boyce

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“Lady bar?”

“No.”

That was my curt reply to a blunt offer from a woman—rosy-cheeked, in her early thirties and wearing a black padded jacket—who rode past on a bicycle late one night last week. Her maternal look made the query disharmonious. I imagined that bicycle’s empty front basket filled a few hours later with a dozen eggs, a package of flour and some scallions as she rode home from a cold night of cold-calling.

I slipped into a tiny shop near Workers Stadium to buy instant noodles. As I left, the woman, her bike parked perpendicular in front, squeezed past with an embarrassed smile and averted eyes. What does a mobile lady bar tout eat, I wondered. I stood to the side, peaked through the window and saw her take two packages. When she left, I went in and saw they came from the section for preserved vegetables.

A few hours earlier I had been in Maison Boulud, in the former Legation Quarter, and tried the truffle-infused vodka. My first reaction: savory and–to borrow a word from wine circles—vegetal. Preserved vegetables….

I went to Maison Boulud with a team from the alcohol company Diageo as it drank through the city’s bars to find candidates for this year’s China bartender challenge. I tried two infused vodkas: I understood the first used Yunnan black truffles and the second used water chestnuts.

As mentioned, the first was savory and vegetal. I also wrote down a handful of aromas, including truffle (duh), mushroom essence, oyster sauce, smoke and, for some reason, “pure protein”. One person said “ham”, another claimed “Chinese barbecue grill” and still another offered “this smell is addictive”. When I drank the vodka, it had a tingly intensity, one that grew as I held it in my mouth, and a slightly spicy finish.” Umami, I thought. The fifth taste.

The second had some similar though lighter smells. I found mushroom again, mild soy sauce, a touch of chop suey, “forest floor funk” and “damp winter boot drying over hot radiator”. One person said “sea flavors”, another claimed it “a little sweeter than the other one”. And a little stinkier, although it had a milder body and finish.

I sat and sniffed and sipped those two vodkas a dozen times and transferred them to wine glasses to get deeper aromas. I imagined taking thin narrow sheets of Jagermeister jelly, rolling them up and adding them as a herby garnish to that first vodka. Or maybe marinated Portabella mushrooms. Or a spoonful of caviar on the side. For the second, those soy smells made me think that were if I ever want to pour an alcohol over soba noodles, this would be it.

It was fun.

Then the bartender, who I finally managed to talk to, said the second vodka wasn’t infused with water chestnuts.

Huh? What? How had that idea come about then? And why had it lasted so long? And what about all those smells?

Instead, he said, the second vodka included truffle puree while the first included truffle slices.

Oh.

Someone mentioned you can find truffles using either a pig or a dog. No one knew of any animal you can train to find water chestnuts.

Note: Truffle-infused vodka is available in the bar at Maison Boulud. A martini made with it is rmb85. With that much money, you can buy enough preserved vegetables to fill a bicycle basket.