Celebrity Wine Contest: Win tickets to Hilton Food and Wine Experience, plus an overnight stay and breakfast
We shall make our Crouching Malbec from this hidden terroir.
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Heard about the new wine by celebrity shoe designer Jimmy Choo? It’s called Chateau La Feet. Or the latest vintage from movie director Ang Lee? The 2009 Crouching Malbec, Hidden Tannat packs a kick. How about the upcoming wine to celebrate 200 years since the birth of Charles Dickens? It’s a limited edition called Grape Expectations.
Not likely, since I made up all those examples. But making up celebrity wines is at the heart of this year’s contest to mark the Food and Wine Experience at the Hilton Beijing on November 6 (more details here).
This year’s grand prize: two tickets to the event, a room at the Hilton Beijing that night, and breakfast the next day. The runner-up prizes include three pairs of tickets to the trade tasting.
The details:
- Leave a comment and tell us your idea for a celebrity wine.
- The grand prize winner will be picked via a draw. The three pairs of trade tasting tickets will be awarded based on merit.
- You can enter up to five times but need to submit each idea as a separate comment.
- Prizes are to be picked up the day of the event. The room is only valid on the night of November 6, the breakfast only valid on the morning of November 7.
- The deadline for entering is November 2 at noon.
In the meantime, can I offer you a glass of Giorgio Armani’s “hand-pressed” Syrah?
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(Hat tip to Mr Hao for the idea and to Mr Brau and The Wise Bartender for their input.)
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The Lady Ga-Gamay.
The Edison Chen Unfiltered Series, including the Cecilia Cheung Sangiovese, Bobo Chan Bordeaux Blend, and Gillian Chung Unreserved Riesling.
Quentin’s Vermentino: This wine from the director of Pulp Fiction and many other movies packs plenty of acidity and fresh citrus flavors. Drink enough of it and the next morning you’ll feel like you’ve been shot in the head Reservoir Dogs style.
Chairman Maolot
Chenin Jiabao
Dick Cheney’s The War On Terroir Red.
Syrah Silverman
And top the night off with a glass of Natalie Port(man).
Benicio Del Sangre de Toro: This underrated, Spanish-style, Puerto Rican red is full of surprises. It mumbles across the lips, Fenster-style, before it truly blows your head apart, a la Jackie Boy. The finish is as long as a two-part biopic on Che Guevara, and despite a bizarre, Wolf(man)ish end note, this wine leaves your palate cleansed and cool, letting you know; The Iceman has truly cometh.
Pour yourself (Franky) four fingers of this unexpected Latin Red that Wine Spectator calls, “A Dr. Gonzo of a good time!”
Deniro “Cab”ernat, after one bottle of this crap, you will be talking in the mirror saying, “You talkin’ to me?”
Matthew Broderick’s high-alcohol white for teenagers: Grüner Veltliner’s Day Off.
Robert Mondavi presents…Tiger Woodsbridge
Concentrated flavors of black currant, lemongrass, and vanilla along with a firm lashing of young swedish peaches that accentuates the underlying spicy character. A firm taste of trailer trash helps structure the unpredictable finish along with the lingering bittersweet flavor. A 750 Million dollar value available this summer.
I know in Canada you guys produce that bubbly, syrupy sweet wine that all the girls are crazy about:
Justin Bieberiesling
As the perfect light refreshment while hunting wildlife from a plane, I suggest Petit Syrah Palin. Comes with notes of smoked salmon and grizzly droppings and just a little attitude.
I’m also a big fan of the only wine to win a Golden Globe. Aged 88 years in Southern California sun, and just reaching fruition in the last year, shortly after the Super Bowl…
Yes, indeed, the Betty White Zinfandel is lovely.
For the hobo/reality TV fan in your life:
Mad Dog The Bounty Hunter 20/20.
Also popular with the bum-set:
Guns N’ Roses Nightrain.
Thunderbirds Are Go (for alcoholic marionettes)
Da Dong’s Malt Kaoya. (sounds classier)
Ai Weiwei’s Sunflower Chardonnay
Bottle in a genuine Jingdezhen porcelain bottle (not currently approved in the UK due to health and safety concerns). This is a wine you purchase for the label, as there may not be wine inside at all.
As seen on CNN, this wine is lively yet bitter, with a loud and sometimes confusing finish. Large batches released at the wine maker’s whim, though he has a tendency to distance himself from specific vintages if they prove too popular with Chinese officials.
Alicia Silverstone Organic Wine Whine
Amy Winehouse Blend
Really doesn’t matter what blend, so long as there’s some wine in there somewhere. Sold only in tetra packs. May cause beehive hairdos, asshole boyfriend attraction and/or heroin addiction.
Bruce Lee Cabernet – after a bottle, you’ll wake up the next day like you were kicked in the head.
Jackie Chan Chardonnay – after a bottle you’ll be doing all your own stunts.
George Bush Bordeaux – a hint of fertilized soil in the nose.
Steve “Big Jobs” Jesus Juice – strong flavours of brushed aluminium on the front palate moving to mouldy turtleneck and fried liver on the back palate.
Don’t forget these celebrity NBA wines:
- Chateau Lebron
- Kobernet Bryant
- Carmerlot Anthony.
Malbec Gibson – delicious in its early years but has not cellared well. Strangely, still goes well with pork.
Vanilla Ice Wine
Billy Joel Piano Grigio
The Silk Red
Tiger Leaping Gamay
ViogniYE Shanghai
Chuck Noiris – A nicely rounded house kick to the face.
A unique varietal that combines classic Piemonte grapes with traditional kosher winemaking techniques.
The Barbera Streisand is sure to be a hit at Passover.
@ ctea,
I could be wrong, but I seem to remember the Tiger Woodsbridge having hints of fresh-mown grass.
Cheers, boyce
@ Ollie,
I sense we could do a whole line of Chuck Norris wines:
- The Walker, Texas Rhone Ranger
- The Missing in Action Unoaked Chardonnay
- The Lone Wolf McQuade “Single Vineyard” Merlot
And putting a twist on your idea:
- The Chuck Norris Round House Red
- The Chuck Norris Round House White
- The Chunk Norris “The Grapes Were So Terrified They Changed Color” Round House Rose
Cheers, boyce
Margaux “Chateau” Kidder?
/I got nothing :/
The Motley Brue: A blend of the 4 different grapes that changes with each vintage. perfectly appropriate for China’s ever changing landscape of growers/suppliers
Does it have to be a terrible pun??
Syrah Silverman – f***ed by Matt Damon
Osamarsanne bin Laden – on the wine list, but nowhere to be found
“The Skip Lunch” a wine so heavy you’d wish you drank beer instead
“The Keith Red-chard” a lifetime of abuse and it gets better with age..
In honor of the start of the NBA season, a few more…
- ShaqTeau O’Neal’s “The Big Aristotle” Bordeaux Blend
- Gilbert “Grape” Arenas Pink Zinfandel
- Penfold’s Danny Granger
Boyce
Following boyce’s lead:
- Dwayne “White Zinfandel” Wade
Sweet flavor tends to be inconsistent, does better when paired with kingly main course.
Hugh Grant’s Californian Semillon?
Gamay Hendrix – can be high in acidity, doesn’t last more than a few years.
Axel Rosé – not good for cellaring, if it’s not out after a couple of years just forget about it.
Sangiovese Bullock – popular choice for a girls nite.
Leonardo di Cabernet – matures extremely well.
mariah sherry- sweet like dess…you get the point
Spongebob Savignon – who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
She wore an “itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bur-gun-dy”
matrix star chianti reeves
riesling witherspoon- blond and loving it
For all of the john cusack fans out there- grosse pointe savignon blanc
i have something to tell you syrah lebouf- wall street 2 should not have been made
you guys are on fire today. a few more…
Carménère Sandiego: A non-alcohol beverage for the kids
Robert de Nero D’Avola “The Godfather” Series
Dornfelder Hasselhof: In tribute to the man who made the Knight Rider franchise (comes in a high-tech bottle that talks)
Cheers, boyce
Riesling Witherspoon, a legally ‘blond’ sparkling wine, to be tasted prior to the LSATs…
Shiraz Stone, a strong red which will break down your sexual inhibitions and fulfill your basic instincts 1, 2, 3 or more times…
Shakiraz, a light blond to satisfy all your oral fixations…
A British import of high-caliber, fruity, for the Diva within…Syrac Elton John
“Cabernet”, a decadent red wine for the nights of pleasure with Liza Minnelli….
Humphery Bogart’s Sauvignon Casablanc(a)
Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rieslings
How about Molly Ringwald’s 16 Cabernet Sauvignons?
Kevin Spacey’s American Bordeaux
Harrison Ford in the Empire Strikes Barolock
@ Brett,
Empire Strikes Barolock?
Starring Harrison Port and Carignan Fisher, and with that unforgettable character Grand Cru-bacca?
Cheers, boyce
Chateau LXB Reserve – this is one to lock up in your cellar and hope everyone else forgets about.
Lindsay Lohan Colombian Chardonnay – zesty on the nose; guaranteed to make any party go with a bang!
Chateau Changyu-Luga – Great Wall wine in Lafite-Rothschild bottles: a winning combination!
Mick Jagger Bordeaux – this one ages tremendously well.
Chad Lager Cabernet Merlot – hearty and full-bodied, very full-bodied.
Boyce, we need a “like” feature in your comments. These are hysterical!
Lady Baga – it’s a Portuguese varietal, and a B always BEATS a G. It won’t sell in Japan, but might work in China.
Yves St. Laurent – the last name is already a wine, such no brainer, but a perfect wine name and it will sell.
@ksquare,
Maybe we can pair it with the Lady Ga-Gamay?
Cheers, boyce
A strange blend, made with grapes from Hungary but bottled in Thailand…
The David Carradinka. Has an amazing kung-fu kick when young, but ages poorly, with hints of hemp that seem to hang in the throat.