Beijing Boyce

The Futathlon

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A full report tomorrow on last weekend’s Olympic Flashback with Paddy O’Shea’s, China Doll, Fubar, George’s, and Gung Ho Pizza, as I want to double-check everything with the folks at CAI, the focus of the fundraiser. But I thought the Futathlon held on Sunday at Fubar deserved its own post.

Five people signed up for the race to consume a hot dog, corn dog, bottle of Tsingtao, frozen drink, and shot. Pictured above, from left to right, the Futathletes were:

• Gordon “Tennessee Titan” Kutil, who knows a few things about eating and drinking given he is manager of Saddle Cantina.
• Maggie “Munchy Mouth” Rauch, who writes the China Sports Today blog.
• Shane “Vegemite Vacuum” C, also known to many as Fubar’s weekend DJ Chunky.
• Will “Trash Can” Hsu, representin’ CAI.
  
• Kirby “Hot Dog Hail Mary” Calder, also known as the Beijing Fantasy Football League Commissioner.

First prize was a bottle of Hendrick’s gin, a half-bottle of Duval-Leroy Champagne (distributed by East Meets West), a Fuwa poster, and a “gold” Fuwa key chain. Second was a Buddha glass, filled with drink of choice, and a “silver” (well, perhaps “bluish silver” is more accurate) key chain, while third was a filled Fu Manchu glass and a “bronze” key chain. (The big glass at left contains the entry fee and drinks money being donated to CAI.)

Besides glory, the Futathlon also meant prizes.

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Contestants could consume the items in any order they wished, but had to drink the Tsingtao and the frozen drink through a straw, and the shot without using their hands. Consumption of the frozen drink seemed crucial, as a brain freeze might cost those few seconds that mean the difference between victory and defeat.

It's all about avoiding brain freeze.

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A draw determined where each contestant sat, with Shane “A DJ Ate My Dingo” C ending up in the middle. He sped off to an early lead as competitors on each side eyed his progress and worked to reel him in.

Crombie's patented "Aussie super sip" move.

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But “The Thunder from Down Under” was not to be denied as he chewed and guzzled his way to a victory that brought honor to the bar where he plays music (except for Prince songs. For some reason, he refuses to play them. Or Major Tom). Kutil took the silver, while Rauch and Hsu tied for the bronze, and Calder, no doubt to his impeccable table manners, came in just after them.

The smell of victory? Corn dogs.

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Tomorrow, I’ll have more details, and more photos, of other venues visited during the weekend…