AFL final: Where to catch the game; six terms you need to know

Before I list some bars that will show the Australian Football League final this Saturday, a quick primer – for the newbies – on rugby terminology:

  • Goal: When the ball is kicked through the big posts; worth six points.
  • Torpedo kick: A kicked ball that spirals through the air.
  • Handball: When a ball is “punched” as a way to pass it to another player.
  • Double-dingo ticketyboo: Two players giving high-fives after a score.
  • One tinnie too many: A player performing as though he had too much beer the night before.
  • Going Dame Edna – Cross-dressing on the field.

(Confession: I made up the last three.)

There will be plenty of tinnies – translation: beers – at Danger Doyle’s (map) and The Den (map) for this 12:30 PM match between the Geelong Cats and St. K.F.C. (about the latter team, I feel obliged to make the “can we call them the Holy Fried Chickens” joke). My mate is a huge Geelong fan, which was doing well in its last finals until I showed up and started rooting for them. At that point, they became the equivalent of a row of camels licking the dew off the rail line just as the Indian Pacific train blows through from Sydney to Perth.

The doors open at 11 PM at Danger Doyle’s, which is holding the party with the Beijing Bombers and Australian Chamber of Commerce. Tickets are RMB250 for members, RMB300 for nonmembers, and that gets all-you-can-drink sodas, wine, Aussie beers, and selected cocktails, as well as all-you-can-eat BBQ.

The Den, as evidenced by the huge tarp inside the place, is also going the all-you-can-swallow route, with a menu of meat pies and beers for RMB100.

dame edna smh
Winner of the Miss AFL contest (SMH)

5 thoughts on “AFL final: Where to catch the game; six terms you need to know”

  1. Boyce get yur facts right- everyone knows theres no such thing as a double dingo tickety boo in AFL no more. Imma let you off the hook caus your Canadian this one time. The correct term is ‘double ROO- tickety boo’. The dingo reference got canned caus of that Meryl Streep 80′s movie: players started yelling ‘double dingo stole my baby tickety boo’ instead..

  2. You forgot the most important bit of vocab!

    Behind: when the ball is kicked through the little posts; worth 1 point

    The “behind” as also known to followers of other football codes as the “consolation prize”.

  3. @Boyce,

    Get it right!

    Going Steve Irwin: becoming stupidly popular in North America, while simultaneously being seen as a bit of a tosser in Australia that no-one would associate with given a choice…

    ….aka “Going Fosters”.

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