The classic Swiss opening
Fubar (map) is holding its “soft opening” this Friday.
Soft openings, hard openings, pre-openings, official openings… Isn’t it time we brought some sense and fun to the concept of just how open is a bar, restaurant, or hotel? One way to do this is a cheese scale. For example:
- Soft opening: The Brie
- Semi-soft opening: The Mozzarella or The Feta
- Hard opening: The Cheddar or The Swiss
- Very hard opening: The Parmesan
I would argue the Fubar opening is The Feta. It’s not soft, like The Brie, because the place has been serving drinks for five days, and it’s not hard, like The Cheddar, because it needs fine-tuning in terms of decor, drink selection, and so on.
For even greater accuracy, we could adopt the Mohs scale. Although it pertains to the hardness of minerals, it could be adapted to bar openings. I suggest using the chart on this Wikipedia page, which ranks hardness from 1 to 10.
Thus, a bar that is open but not actively seeking customers might rank as “talc“, while on the other end of the scale, a place that is totally fully completely ready and open for business would rank as “diamond.” Here is the scale:
- Talc
- Gypsum
- Calcite
- Fluorite
- Apatite
- Feldspar
- Quartz
- Topaz
- Corundum
- Diamond
Given this, I would rank the hardness of the Fubar opening this Friday as “feldspar.” In any case, things get under way at 6 PM. To get in, press the button on the wall to open the sliding door…
I hate this. If a place opens its doors and sells stuff, then it’s open. That’s it. “Soft” and “Hard” are just euphemisms for… well they’re not really euphemisms at all, are they? We all know what they mean.
And yes, I’m talking about cheese.
@ Mike,
Agree. Best case is that all openings are The Cheddar.
Cheers, boyce
Checked it out, might go back BUT the ventilation sucks and lots of people were smoking. My throat hurt after one drink. Probably not a big deal for most bar-goers, but air pollution is already getting me down so I try to pass on places that feel worse than outside.