Fubar (map) is holding its “soft opening” this Friday.
Soft openings, hard openings, pre-openings, official openings… Isn’t it time we brought some sense and fun to the concept of just how open is a bar, restaurant, or hotel? One way to do this is a cheese scale. For example:
- Soft opening: The Brie
- Semi-soft opening: The Mozzarella or The Feta
- Hard opening: The Cheddar or The Swiss
- Very hard opening: The Parmesan
I would argue the Fubar opening is The Feta. It’s not soft, like The Brie, because the place has been serving drinks for five days, and it’s not hard, like The Cheddar, because it needs fine-tuning in terms of decor, drink selection, and so on.
For even greater accuracy, we could adopt the Mohs scale. Although it pertains to the hardness of minerals, it could be adapted to bar openings. I suggest using the chart on this Wikipedia page, which ranks hardness from 1 to 10.
Thus, a bar that is open but not actively seeking customers might rank as “talc“, while on the other end of the scale, a place that is totally fully completely ready and open for business would rank as “diamond.” Here is the scale:
Given this, I would rank the hardness of the Fubar opening this Friday as “feldspar.” In any case, things get under way at 6 PM. To get in, press the button on the wall to open the sliding door…