Beijing Boyce

And maybe it has been here for a long time. But I spotted my first can at the new and spacious April Gourmet near Workers Stadium north this afternoon. (Truth be told, I tend to do my shopping at wet markets at 5 AM after watching some sports event at an ungodly hour, but I digress.) Anyway, this takes us a step closer to the perfect Moscow Mule. And next time I head to Ichikura, I am bringing a can or two of this rare liquid, just in case they don’t have any in stock…

Some happenings from the past week or so. As always, click the word “map” beside each venue to get its map, or to get its address sent to your phone for free in either Chinese or English, courtesy of Mobile Native.

Stone Boat (map): A nice crowd on hand Saturday night to watch Panjir play. This is one of the few places in the city center that you can visit and feel you are not, well, in the city center. Good music, good vibe, good times. By the way, based on more than four years of experience, here is a guide to drinks at The Stone Boat: wine = generous pour, beer = average pour, mixed drinks = miserly pour.

Klubb Rouge (map): There is talk of this place, the inactive part of a trio that includes Danger Doyle’s and Drei Kronen 1308, going through a makeover and reopening with a new mission, though a launch would be months down the road. More to come. And once again, kudos to Klubb Rouge for the most surreal PR conference I have attended.

Union (map): If there were an award for the gap between food value and service quality, this place would rank among my favorites. From Toaster-gate and Coffee-gate to the inability of servers to distinguish “rye” from “white” toast to being slow in delivering that initial coffee and then providing refills when only a sip has been taken, this place has had more than its share of moments. To give three example from this past Sunday:

1) The wireless was down for the fourth straight time though a staff member eventually got it working.

2) A friend and I asked for two orders of eggs Benedict and received one order of toast that we were told to share. Shades of Toaster-gate… So if I order an eggs Benedict, I get four pieces of toast, but if we order two eggs Benedict, and thus pay twice as much, we get the same mount of toast?  “If you want more toast, just ask,” I was told. Seriously, if it is a matter of cost, reduce the side of butter, since there is enough there to butter ten slices of bread.

3) Approximate exchange between me and the waitress:

Something to drink?

Coffee.

What kind of coffee?

Just a coffee.

You mean cappucci…

Just a coffee. A regular coffee. Just a regular black coffee.

[Still looks confused]

Could I have the menu, please?

[Hands me a food menu]

Could I have the drinks menu?

[I point to the word "coffee" on the menu]

That one.

Coffee.

Yes, a coffee.

How many?

Seven. No, I am joking. One. One coffee.

I realize these are not huge issues, the staff is very nice, and apparently it was the waitress’s first day. But on the other hand, Union is rather pricey. And if spots such as Le Petit Gourmand can provide decent service, then surely Union can pick up its game. Speaking of which…

Le Petit Gourmand (map): When I couldn’t get wireless at Union on Saturday, I headed here with DJ Chunky. I have written it before, I will write it again – that RMB35 chicken sandwich with salad and fries is a superb deal. But remember: bring an iPod because this spot repeats the same songs over and over and over again, over and over and over again, over and over and over again (ad infinitum).

Cheers (map): This spot, best known its live Xinjiang music on the weekends, is open again, though c0-0wner Leo – and his oil paintings – no longer appear to be in the picture.

Danger Doyle’s (map): Traffic is picking up at this place and it seems to have become a favorite with some of the city’s models on Friday’s ladies night.

The Den (map): For late-night sports viewing, can anyone beat this place? It seems perpetually full whenever there is an event on – whether it be rugby, cricket or the Wimbledon final – and that is most of the time.

Stadium Dog / Fubar: Look for a soft opening of the hot dog joint within the next week or so, with the bar to soon follow.

Kiosk (map): The two-floor second branch of this Nali Studio favorite is open. Look for the bright pink building across from Workers Stadium North and a block east of older Purple Haze. And expect the same high-value burgers.

Solana (map): With the winter blues gone, most seats near that strip along the waterfront – faced by Sex and Da City, HLG, et al – were full Friday night. But expect to drop some coin – we stopped at Lantung where the Corona is RMB45 and a so-s0 Mojito is RMB55.

Cosmo (map): Finding this place open seems to be a hit or miss proposition, as one reader reports dropping by five times and finding it closed on every occasion. Hopefully the kinks are soon worked out.

Pepe’s Pizza (map): Look for this spot to re-open this week with a new design and menu as well as a kid’s party area upstairs where the little ones can make their own pies.

… new lunch menu.

Any mention of this place (map) in Beijing brings giggles and jokes about mammary glands. Example: Who has the biggest breasts at Hooters? The chickens. (Yawn.) Frankly, I prefer to make fun of people who wear baseball caps backward or perch sunglasses on their heads while in a nightclub, both avoidable acts, but to each his or her own humor.

Anyway, I had not visited Hooters for over a year. But after being handed a flyer in front of China View, and finding myself famished, I stopped in for another look.

The 17-item lunch menu includes both Chinese and Western dishes, from a garden salad and corn soup combo for RMB22 to a Cajun chicken burger for RMB48 to Thai fried rice with salmon and soup for RMB32. And each includes a soda – we received free refills – with a coffee or tea an extra RMB10.

On my first stop, I tried the Buffalo chicken burger (RMB38), available at different levels of spiciness. The breaded patty, in a sesame seed-topped bun, was huge if a bit greasy and came with a side of curly fries. (If someone could take this bun and The Rickshaw (map) patty, we would have a perfect combo.) On my second stop, I tried the chili hot dog (RMB38) – the bun outsized the wiener but nonetheless had tasty toppings and, of course, it came with those curly fries.

Overall, I found the food decent value and the experience good, given that the waitresses are efficient, friendly and in most cases, speak above-average English. For those planning to make their first visit, know ahead of time that the staff wears short shorts and does dance routines that cover musical genres from hip hop to disco to country.

Also, this provides an alternative to The Den (map) next door, where I generally lunch when in the area. I like many dishes on The Den’s RMB45 lunch menu – the chef’s salad, for example, is a tasty affair of chicken, beef, ham, and mozzarella surrounding a mountain of lettuce, onions, black olives, and more, and comes with a soda or coffee. What is not so good is getting nickled and dimed (example: not being told that if I order a diet Coke instead of a Coke I have to pay more), having to pay for water, and so on.

Also, re Hooters:

- The two-for-one happy hour is from 3 PM to 6 PM, Monday to Friday, and this includes coffee.

- Wings are RMB1.99 from 6 PM to 9 PM on Wednesdays.

- And the place also retains one of the city’s odder Champagne deals. Buy a bottle of Dom Perignon and get ten wings for free.

The only thing I would change? I’m no fashion maven, but nylons with short shorts?

2:45 PM? Check. The Macarena? Check. Congo line? Check.