Beijing Boyce

French restaurant Le Bistrot Parisien (map), at the north end of Tongli Studio in Sanlitun North, is closed and under renovations. Look for it to reopen next month with new management and a new name, but to retain its focus on French food. A source says that Guillaume Galliot, formerly of Jaan restaurant in the Raffles hotel, will head up the kitchen. Now that would make things interesting. More on this soon…

In the latest round of the top five watering holes series, Elyse Ribbons – best known as the woman behind Cheeky Monkey Theater – gives her picks for best spots to grab a drink in Beijing. Her newest production, Kung Pao Shakespeare, a comedy about a Beijing theater company putting on Taming of the Shrew, will be performed this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (there are details on her site about the play and tickets. See also her post on Facebook).

I’M THE KIND OF GIRL that prefers a bar where the barkeep knows my name (and exactly how to mix my drink), so my top five faves in Beijing should come as no surprise:

1) Stone Boat (map): Whether for a coffee in the afternoon or a beer late at night, Stone Boat is my Zen place.

2) Sandglass (map): They make a killer long island iced teas, and they have fabulous ginger beer.

3) Q Bar (map): For obvious reasons – the best mixed drinks in town.

4) Yugong Yishan (map): Cheap beer + good music = good.

5) Salud (map): Flavored rums can’t be beat.

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Top fives:

• Cam Macmurchy
• Brandon Chemers
• Jon, Jackson, Richard, Adam, Andy of RandomK(e)
• Andrew Schorr & Ellis Rahhal
• Pete Demola
• Shane Crombie
• Ben Shaw
• Kaiser Kuo
• Bjorn Stabell
• Phoebe Wong
• Diane Fermin
• Badr Benjelloun
• Elisabeth Tchoudjinoff & Katrina Arndt
• Paul Adkins
• Chandler Jurinka
• Kevin Shen
• Steven Schwankert

After all the hype surrounding the Playboy dancers who appeared at Bling, it only seems fair to mention the upcoming “Strip Dance Party” aka “Tarzan Show” at Chocolate (map). As this post on clubzone.cn puts it:

The hottest Russian male-strippers from Moscow gonna perform at club “Chocolate”. The sexiest show from Russia. Don’t miss it!!! Tarzan Show!!!

I like how the writer used “gonna” so that the event doesn’t seem too highbrow. Anyway, the six-pack abs and turkey-drumstick biceps get exposed on May 24 from 8 PM to 2 AM (see here for details).

Unfortunately, a ticket costs RMB288, which is nearly RMB300 more than I am willing to pay to see Russian men take their clothes off. I calculate that willingness to pay based on a complex algorithm that involves the number of tennis titles won by Anna Kournikova, the number of t.A.T.u. songs on my iPod, and the results of IQ tests I have taken immediately after downing a few bottles of vodka at Chocolate.

Plus, May 24 marks Queen Victoria’s birthday, and I traditionally spent that day pondering why my country continues to have images of English royalty on its currency. (My guess? Our almost pathological need to be polite.)

(Hat tip to AS)