Beijing Boyce

Thousands of journalists are leaving Beijing and they have served the world well by informing it about that local delicacy known as scorpions on a stick. But one wonders who will tell the follow-up stories? About the impending unemployment among vendors when the reporters are gone. About rising housing prices due to so much lumber having been used for sticks. About the despondency of scorpions who no longer feel wanted.

In any case, it seems time for this media monitoring project to look back on all those scorpion stories and award a few medals to the best ones.

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GOLD

Dave Barry, Miami Herald

Key performance:

The market was bustling with people. But here’s the thing. The Chinese people I saw all seemed to be buying things like lamb kebabs and fruit. On the other hand, the people gathered around the centipedes and scorpions on a stick were, in almost every case, tourists or American TV reporters doing fun features on weird Chinese food. These people were basically lining up to eat scorpions. A reporter would hold up a skewer of scorpions, and the camera person would get a close-up shot. Then the reporter would scrunch up his or her face, take a bite of a scorpion, chew, swallow, and declare that it really wasn’t that bad. Then, depending on how in-depth the feature was, the reporter might take a bite of seahorse.

I watched as this procedure was repeated with several different TV crews. Then the truth hit me: The Chinese don’t eat scorpions. They feed their scorpions to TV reporters. I would not be surprised to learn that the Chinese word for scorpion is “TV reporter food.”

Barry misses a perfect 10 because he limited his observations to TV reporters. Trust me, Dave, print media are just as fascinated by scorpions.

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SILVER

Dan Steinberg, Washington Post

Key performance:

Foreign media doing scorpions-on-sticks pieces is just about the lamest form of journalism imaginable. It’s hackneyed, cliched, predictable and useless. It relies entirely on the gross-out factor, and is basically Fear Factor on location. It creates an image of life in Beijing that is demonstrably fake, no different than if every visiting journalist in the U.S. sent home pieces on American food, based entirely on FedEx Field concessions or the Texas State Fair. And, on top of all that, it’s just lazy.

So here’s my version.

Steinberg provided a “meta” view and even wrote a second article about the scorpions phenomenon.

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BRONZE (Tie)

Iain Marlow, The Toronto Star

Chris O’Brien, Forbes

Both wrote good pieces – Marlow about street food , O’Brien on the broader scene – and put scorpions on a stick in its proper place as a fringe food.

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Finally, no metal is precious enough to make a medal for this blog’s readers, who broke three huge stories, including The Scorpions on sticks, scorpions in a bottle, and scorpions on a cracker. Thanks to MH and m-dawg.

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See also:

Scorpions on a stick: This post rocks!

Scorpions on a stick update: Washington Post, NBC, Miami Herald, and more

Scorpions in a… bottle?

Scorpions on a… cracker?

Scorpions on a stick update: Globe & Mail, LA Times, BBC, DNA India, and more

Scorpions on a stick update: Forbes, Wall Street Journal

Scorpions on a stick update: NBC

On a stick? In Beijing? No way!: ESPN, Boston Globe

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After sixteen star-spangled days, Olympics celebrity watch is winding down. Sure, sightings continue to trickle in – Vince Vaughn at Kokomo, David Beckham at The Beach, Jimmy Page at Red Moon Bar – but this seems an appropriate time to give out some medals.

But first, thanks to Fletch, 8 Songs, TVG, Meow, m-dawg, MD, beijingdaze, Sherlock Homey, Badr, NC, TLC, and RCR for sending in sightings.

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GOLD

Evander Holyfield

“The Real Deal” didn’t get a gold medal at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, but he does now. While in Beijing for The Games, he danced to his left, danced to his left, and covered the nightlife scene like a flurry of blows to a punching bag. The former world boxing champion also showed great patience by stopping to take photos with hundreds – more like thousands – of people at Bud House, China Doll, and other night spots.

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SILVER

Jared Leto

His ubiquity threatened to overshadow the Olympics early on – until Evander showed up. The Fight Club / Panic Room actor and 30 Seconds to Mars band member was spotted in no fewer than five places in our fair city, including Commune by the Wall and the basketball stadium. Unfortunately, he didn’t take up my offer to produce a half-dozen “watchers” to stare at him for 30 minutes at the Beijing bar of his choice. It still stands.

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BRONZE (Tie)

Usain Bolt

Once he had the sprint records under his belt, the Jamaican speedster was out and about. He posed for photos, shook hands with fans, and busted moves on the dance floor at CJW.

Michael Phelps

After grabbing eight gold medals at The Games, Phelps partied at China Doll, where he enjoyed a beverage or two, wore a backwards baseball cap, and became ecstatic when NBA star / German basketball team player Dirk Nowitzki showed up. His shout of “Dirk in the house!” was heard throughout the night.

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See also:

Beijing Olympics Celebrity Watch: August 7, August 10, August 11, August 12, August 14, August 17, August 18, August 19, August 23, Jared Leto special edition, and Evander Holyfield special edition.

Celebrity Pub Crawl: The series

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