Beijing Boyce

Beach volleyball, beer, and buddies are, were, and always will be a good mix, so I headed to Chaoyang Park with two friends on Saturday night to catch some Olympic action. Here are ten awards for the night.

-

Most fashionable
The volleyball pit, which - from our nosebleed seats - looked fantastic with its sand and its fringe of aqua blue signs, especially as dawn turned to dusk. The runner-up: the neon-green swimsuits of what the announcer described as “the beach girls.”

-

Most famished
A friend who had skipped dinner and immediately headed to the concession booth only to mournfully return and say the hot dogs, sausages and pizzas - i.e. almost anything of heft - were already “sold out.” All he could find: crackers and sweet popcorn (”there’s one guy going crazy with a microwave!”). Where is the sponsor McDonald’s!?

-

Least thirsty
Anyone with limited funds and a love of beer. Huxley - king of reasonably priced drinks in Beijing (see: Nanjie) - must be on the Olympics committee because a cup of brew cost a mere five (5) kuai. Cheers.

-

Most sobering
When the Georgian players, whose country was recently attacked by Russia, came out. They stole the first set from Brazil, before eventually losing in three. Good effort.

-

Most annoying, part I
The announcer, who constantly repeated, “Who’s cheering for the US!?” and “Who’s cheering for Latvia!?” After about a dozen times, it gets tiring.

-

Most annoying, part II
The loud music being played between points even when the gap was only a few seconds and sometimes continuing even when the players were ready to serve. Interestingly, the vast majority of clips, covering five or six decades and innumerable genres, were English-language songs - one world, one language. Here are our picks for top five clips during our last hour at the matches:

• Billy Squire - The Stroke
• ELO - Don’t Bring Me Down
• Kiss - I Was Made for Loving You
• Blink 182 - All the Small Things
• House of Pain - Jump Around

-

Most grin-inducing
When two Olympic mascots named Huanhuan (an Olympic flame) and Yingying (a Tibetan antelope) jitterbuged on the beach volleyball pit with a dozen cheerleaders in skimpy neon green swimsuits to The Offspring’s “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)” while Chinese grandmothers holding grandchildren on their laps clapped along. Anyone five years ago predict we would see that? Anyone?

-

Most interesting song choice
When the organizers played Blitzkrieg Bop during the German match.

-

Most exciting
When Latvia led the US 10-8 in the second set and won a spectacular point. The Latvian’s enthusiasm infected the crowd. Plus, a US player wore a backwards baseball cap - always a bad omen. Latvia went on to win.

-

Most fun
When the crowd barked to “Who Let the Dogs Out?,” sang to “Hands Up”, repeated line after line of “Minnie the Moocher” (!), and throughly enjoyed itself while doing “the Mexican wave.”