Beijing Boyce

Let me use the analogy of male and female orgasms to respectively portray the décor of Klubb Rouge and China Doll since these nightspots, which held pre-openings of sorts last night, seem intent on pushing the sex envelope.

Klubb Rouge’s would be short and intense, with a series of hard edges, fleeting glimpses of cavernous spaces, gleaming mirrors, and a color one might describe as “candy apple / Amsterdam red-light district”, and an abrupt ending akin to waking on a cold marble bar top. China Doll’s would be prolonged and morphing, with a psychedelic rush of soft colors, sensuous textures and shiny trinkets though innumerable nooks and crannies, after which you would need some air (and perhaps an aspirin). I could be wrong, but if this evaluation contains a grain of truth, I’d say the ladies have the better end of the deal.

In any case, these places are supposed to be “sexy” and this was made explicit last night so that we bar and club goers, apparently a dense lot, got it:

Expressionless models, wearing G-strings and strategically placed red paint, walking robot-like along 40 meters of bar top and looking like a cross between porcelain dolls, mannequins, and that alien from Mars Attack (Klubb Rouge). Check.

Women dressed as hyperactive schoolgirls who steadily reveal more skin as they do energetic cheers (China Doll). Check.

Huge pillars featuring 1930s-style Shanghai ad models who, in an apparent tribute to global warming, show more flesh than their twentieth-century sisters (Klubb Rouge). Check.

Super-sized full-color photos of scantily dressed women touching each other in a less than platonic manner (China Doll). Check.

OK. Next item on the agenda: Can these places make decent drinks?

I never did get one at Klubb Rouge, as people were wall-to-wall and the bar was cleared for that model catwalk thing, but three friends described the drinks as “OK” and “not bad“, though in two cases we are talking about Gin Tonics. I tried five drinks at China Doll and in terms of average quality they were, well, average. Odds are the drinks will rapidly improve in both places in coming months as the bartenders get into their comfort zones. By the way, I enjoyed parking at the China Doll bar, with its soft underbelly, and taking in the place’s rainbow of colors and treasure trove of eye candy. I’ll have more on this, on comparisons of the new China Doll with the old one (now Club China Doll), and on Klubb Rouge (I couldn’t even get on the deck last night due to the crowds).

The true test of these places will be when the drinks aren’t free and there isn’t a sexy over-the-top show. What matters then be the quality of the music, cocktails, service and vibe, week in and week out.

Both Klubb Rouge and China Doll officially open tonight.

(Photo: PA)

Upcoming Beijing wine-related events

Thursday, June 19, 7-10:30 PM, Grand Hyatt Beijing, inquire re price
Chateau Margaux dinner, with owner Corinne Mentzelopoulos; 5 wines, limited to 15 seats; by Aussino World Wines; Info / RSVP with Sophia Wang at 6461-2072, x128.

Thursday, June 19, 7:30 PM, Bookworm, RMB180
Australia wine tasting, with 6 wines, by The Wine Republic; RSVP with Jenny at bookwormjenny@gmail.com / 6586-9507.

Friday, June 20, 7 PM, Les Millesimes (Jianwai Soho), RMB198
Cheese and wine tastings, with 20 cheeses, 2 wines; by Les Millesimes Wine Club; RSVP with Cyril at 13601-018-093 (French speakers) or Ekatatrina at 13552-380-948 (English, Chinese, Russian speakers).

Saturday, June 21, 7 PM, Brasserie Flo, RMB488
Skalli Mediterranean wine dinner, with 6 wines presented by Robert Skalli; by ASC; RSVP with Helen Lu at helenlu@asc-wines.com / 6587-3803.

Thursday, June 26, LAN, 7 PM, RMB280
Lafite wines from France, Chile and Argentina; RSVP with Jennifer Zhang at 6562-1800, x102 / jennifer.zhang@summergate.com.

Thursday, June 26, 7-8:30 PM, Bento & Berries (Kerry Centre Hotel), free
South African wine tasting, by Top Cellar; RSVP at 13521-434-994 or marketing@topcellar.com.cn.

Thursday, June 26, 7-8:30 PM, Bentos & Berries (Kerry Centre), free
South African wine tasting, with 8 wines from 4 estates, by Top Cellar; RSVP at 13521-434-994 or marketing@topcellar.com.cn, or here

Friday, June 27, 7-9 PM, Cellar Le Pinot, RMB50
Rose wine tasting, with wine from 5 countries; to RSVP or for info, contact Joy Zhou at zhoumeixing@lepinot.com.

Saturday, June 28, 6:30 PM, Maison Boulod (Legation Quarter), RMB4888
Haut-Brion / La Mission Haut-Brion wine dinner, with 7 wines, by ASC; with wineries’ owner Prince Robert of Luxembourge, GM / winemaker Jean-Philippe Delmas, and, for restaurant opening, chef Daniel Boulod; RSVP with Helen Lu at helenlu@asc-wines.com / 6587-3803.

Thursday, July 10, 7-8.30 PM, Amigo (Central Park), free
Rose and white wine tasting, by Top Cellar; RSVP at 13521-434-994 or marketing@topcellar.com.cn.

Note: If you intend to attend any of the above events, it is best to confirm the details with the venue ahead of time. To get a wine event listed, send event info, preferably in text format, to beijingboyce@yahoo.com.