Beijing Boyce

Some notes from recent journeys about town.

1.
Known for tasty tapas and a relaxed atmosphere, Mare on Xindong Lu is expanding.

2.
Just west of Mare, on Xingfucun Zhonglu, lies Sunset. This place is dark, dingy and dirt-cheap (RMB100 for 14 shots of some beverages) and will please those who pine for Beijing dives. I’d suggest this spot forgo table clothes, which look like they just survived a food fight, and stick to linoleum. (Unfortunately, a rumored ‘baijiu quarters’ game didn’t materialize Sunday and thus denied us some unintentional humor.)

3.
At least as of the weekend, Maggies remains closed.

4.
Ritz-Carlton Hotel’s Italian restaurant Cepe gets high marks for décor (cozy, warm, glimpses of the kitchen) and service (from handling reservations to keeping wine glasses full), but lower ones for food (note: the prices are my guess-timates, since I forget to grab the invoice).

The Portobello mushrooms with shrimp and baked eggplant puree consisted of four mushroom caps, two small shrimps, the puree and a tiny salad. While the mushrooms were meaty, I found the dish anemic and - given its size - outrageously priced at RMB140. The caviar with tuna tartar and seaweed (RMB175) came off as too fishy, while the codfish with green lentils (RMB200+) saw the vegetable overwhelming the fish. The gnocchi (RMB175) fared best - a sizable portion, with a nice mushroom sauce and Ricotta, though it could have used a bit more zip.

Cepe offers an extensive wine list that is conveniently segmented by wine style, rather than grape variety or country. We had Dr. L Riesling (RMB450), which went well with the fish. Wine starts at RMB318 a bottle. Our bill totaled RMB1435 - a bit pricey for what we got, to say the least.

5.
Q Bar now offers food, with just over a dozen items on the menu, including chocolate mouse, mini-bagels, and prunes and other items wrapped in bacon.
6.
I have returned to Ciro’s since my first unfortunate visit. This time The Cellar Rat and I parked at the bar, where, to our surprise, there is no service charge. Two sizable pours of Sacred Hill Sauvignon Blanc (RMB45) did us proper and the bartender did a decent job. The only suggestion - the vertical neon tube, in the glass-fronted fridge, gives off far too much glare. That should be easy enough to fix.

7.
I pray for many things - more peace, love and understanding, less pollution, a World Series for the Cubs, a trip to Boracay, and for The Bookworm to put some padding on its wooden door. Listening to that thing slam more than a dozen times an hour interjects a major annoyance into otherwise enjoyable visits. Seriously, I think three or four pads - like those that go beneath chair legs to reduce drag - would do the trick, and for a few kuai at that. I doubt I’m alone in loathing that door, as I noticed several people near me squinting every time that thing slammed shut.

8.
Based on the emails I get and other sources, the number of fights - and particularly foreigner vs. local brawls - has been on the rise in Sanlitun over the past year. Imbibers beware.

9.
If you love neon, then you’ll be in ecstasy once the new club south of Revelations (ex-Browns) and east of The Regal Club (that massive KTV-whatever that my friend says looks something like “The Ministry of Truth from a Shrek movie”) opens. My peak through a crack in the still-unopened doors revealed neon on the ceiling, neon on the walls, neon on the floor, and… neon in the halls. Meanwhile, the club on Gongti North called Success (with dollar signs for letters “s”) when I arrived in Beijing has gone through several reincarnations and is now known as Armaini (no typo).

10.
I’m guessing that of the foreigners I know who smoke in Beijing, over 75 percent puff on Zhongnanhai, with an inclination toward the 0.8 brand. How did this start? Do newcomers choose Zhongnanhai because they see others smoking them? Is it something about the packaging? Couldn’t someone get a Master’s thesis out of this?

Note: A few stories making the rounds this week. Please check the comment at the bottom for details on the sources.

The Baijui, Maotai and Rice Wine Federation announced five “official” cocktails for the Beijing Olympics yesterday. The drinks are named after the Olympic mascots, known as “Fuwa.”

Each cocktail will include at least one of China’s traditional liquors. The “Bei Bei“, for example, has maotai, plum juice, and a splash of Laoshan water, while the “Ying Ying” will include baijiu, tomato juice and - inexplicably - a garnish of three sweet potato balls! The Federation says that although visitors are free to drink foreign beer, wine and spirits, it hopes they will say “gan bei” with local products.

Meanwhile, Chivas will apparently launch a new product in China this summer called “CT” that blends its famous Scotch with sweet green tea. The bottles will look more like those used for wine than for whiskey. “As with wine, we want to give consumers options based on dryness or sweetness,” said a spokesperson from a local PR company handling the brand. “We will have extra-dry, dry, sweet, extra-sweet, XO sweet, ultra-premium sweet, and so on” she said. To promote the brand, Chivas is creating a dance in which patrons form a T by extending their arms, and then a C by curving them, after which they will be encouraged to hug the closest person. “This stresses that CT is a social drink,” said the spokesperson.

Finally, not content with their colossal nine-building project beside Tiananmen Square, the owners of Legation Quarter will erect temporary outlets in the square itself during the Olympics. Each of the four outlets will be about 500 square meters and feature chefs from Michelin three-star restaurants in France, thus allowing visitors to sample the best food that country has to offer. Visitors can expect to have an appetizer, main course, and drink for as little as RMB188. About a hundred sommeliers will be on hand to help tourists pair their food with wine.

And, in case you have not already guessed, these…

three…

articles…

are…

an…

April fool’s joke!

(Happy April Fool’s Day)

Special K = Beyonce? I think not. ((c) beyonceonline)

Who is The Cellar Rat? Who is Agent Red Wolf? Who is M-Dawg? Frequent are inquiries about this blog’s recurring “characters”, hidden as they are by pseudonym. Suffice it to say, they tend to be lovers of food, drink, or nightlife, or even all three.

They also are the source of crucial “ground zero” information.

Consider Special K.

We went to Le Petit Gourmand on Saturday for a “working afternoon.” An outside observer might query how checking sports scores, playing with vitamins, and chewing on half a chicken - activities that consumed about 98 percent of his time - constitute work. However, the following dialogue shows his value to you, the reader.

It was 2:52 PM. Our laptops were fully charged. Coffee was within arm’s reach.

I diligently worked on three posts as Special K critiqued ESPN and worked through his French fries.

Then came the critical moment.

A song by Alicia Keys started to play. His fragile attention span shifted from the carnage on his plate to the groove in the air. He started to do what the charitable might classify as “dancing.”

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“C’mon, look at me.”

“Let me finish this post.”

“Look, I’m Beyonce,” he said. As he jerked about, I imagined Le Petit Gourmand’s staff searching the bar for a taser.

“You’re who?”

“I’m Beyonce.”

“Beyonce? You think you’re Beyonce? First, you’re a guy. Second, she doesn’t dance anything like that.”

He stopped, saving the staff a call to the ever-friendly Tongli Studio security guards. But he’s the diligent type. A song by Seal came on and he started dancing again.

“OK, look at me now.”

“No, I’m working.”

“Hey, look at me. I’m Seal.”

“What are you talking about? Those are the same moves you were doing for ‘Beyonce’.”

He stopped.

“No, my finger is closer my mouth and I’m not moving my… what do you call it… my ‘trunk’.”

“I didn’t realize Seal put his finger in his mouth when he danced.”

“Dude, that finger is supposed to be my microphone.”

“Oh. [Awkward silence] How’s the chicken?”

“I have a cold, but it seems pretty good.”

There you have it: Special K says the chicken at Le Petit Gourmand is “pretty good“, even if you have a cold. That’s the kind of information for which people come to this blog.

By the way, I never reveal the identity of a source such as Special K, in part because he prefers anonymity and in part because I imagine I’m saving him from deportation.

Is this what the future holds for Special K? ((c) viewimages.com)