Celebrity Pub Crawl IV: James Bond

bond-bollinger.jpg
Martinis are nice, but nothing beats proper chilling with Bollingers…

We’ve done Crockett and Tubbs, The Desperate Wives and Homer Simpson. Let’s skip across the pond and get British spy – and martini and Bollinger lover – James Bond in on the action.

Post a comment about where in Beijing you would take 007 and you’ll be entered in the weekly draw. The prizes:

– A bottle of Grace Vineyard Tasya’s Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon from Torres

– A package of four books – Insider’s Guide to Beijing 2008, Mandarin Phrasebook, Healthy Chinese Cuisine: A Restaurant Ordering Guide, and Spicy Chinese Cuisine: A Restaurant Ordering Guide – from Immersion Guides.

The deadline for entering the draw is Tuesday at noon. The winner will be announced the next day. (Note: I can only ship prizes to addresses in Beijing. One entry per week per person, please. To spread the wealth for this six-week contest, only one prize per person.)

the-bonds.png
Connery, Moore, Brosnan… pick a Bond, pick a bar. ((c) KCI Library)

14 thoughts on “Celebrity Pub Crawl IV: James Bond”

  1. I would take James Bond to Centro for cocktails. He would have his favorite, a vodka martini, shaken not stirred. James would face a difficult decision – Grey Goose, Absolut, Smirnoff, Skyy, Stolichnya – which brand would he choose? My guess would be Grey Goose. After a few cocktails, conversation and flirting we would depart for…;)

  2. Connery’s Bond clearly requires a fabulous hotel bar dripping in the over the top largess of his time and suitable for his overall suaveness with the ladies. Some local flavour is also a prerequisite, although the more it looks like a sound stage rendition of China, the better. Stereotypes are strongly encouraged, and spare no expense.

    007 Connery and I would start with martinis and discussions of espionage in a semi-private booth at the Whampoa Club.
    Then its time to hop into the waiting 1940s limo from the Red Capital Club to whisk us, and a couple seemingly random yet overly intelligent and attractive women we meet in the entrance off to dinner in the hutongs of Dongshisitiao. There will be hijinks, intrigue, and clearly the women we picked up before are some sort of spies. There will also be waiters dressed in revolutionary garb and some sort of fight scene here. Clearly, the Red Capital club is ripe with the enemy and the plot is revealed here. We escape with our lives, but don’t pay the bill. There is a lot of stylized kung fu and breaking of glass wear. The drinks, of course, are too Communist for Bond’s liking.
    OO7 Connery then heads out with a sympathetic spy-turned-sex-kitten and they abandon me to a taxi home. They use rickshaws and a rocket device in Bond’s shoe to get themselves to Commune at the Great Wall. Bond, of course, must have the finale in front of a landmark known in the West! Martinis continue, this time from a private bar in the house we have “rented” from some noted Hong Kong industrialist and Western sympathizer. He somehow employs a bevy of stunning women in stereotypical outfits who, it turns out, want to kill Bond! Bedroom scenes, more drinks from the private bar,more kung fu and gadgets. Bond escapes on a passing Yangjing truck with the world safe for another day.
    Quick drink at the new airport, and away he flies.

  3. I’d take him to Centro for a decent martini, but I’m sure he’d rather take a girl to Bed.

  4. @ Donna,

    With those vodka choices, yeah, I’m guessing he’d go for Grey Goose. Now, if the Cold War were still going on…

    @ 12sqm,

    If they head to Bed, they might have to go for a Mojito martinia.

    @ Gracie,

    Great scenario, but I would add some kind of rendezvous at that bomb shelter turned bar beneath the Red Capital Residence. Either a make-our scene or an info exchange would suffice as he tries one of the house cocktails — Black Cat, White Cat; Dream of Red Capital, etc.

    Cheers, Boyce

  5. George Lazenby (as Bond in the 1969 classic, “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”) liked his Royal Beluga caviar from the “North of the Caspian.” I would accompany Mr. Bond to the Westin Beijing Financial Street Sunday Brunch,where he could sip champagne alongside excellent caviar from the way, way north: Heilongjiang!

  6. I’d take James Bond to Q Bar for a fine martini. Q Bar is classy and keeps a low profile, just like 007. From the roof deck he can watch over the city in case the bad guys are up to no good again.

  7. Really obscure suggestion from me this week: New bar called Lugar – which in itself sounds like a Bond villain. It’s discreet (i.e. empty), secluded (i.e. impossible to find), and exclusive (i.e. ridiculously expensive – but I imagine HMG is picking up the tab). A rather stronger recommendation is that it has a huge selection of single malt whiskies (I am assured by Bond aficionados that, in the books, he drank whisky more often than martinis).

    I still think think Connery was the best Bond, although the new super-hard Daniel Craig incarnation looks promising. If it’s either of those guys, I’d be tempted to take them to Kokomo, just so they could kick the shit out of China Doll’s hired goons.

  8. The obvious place would be a casino, but with a destinct lack of those here, I’d take him to a chinese dinner at a fancy hotel – at least that means a big round table and something spinning in the middle… And then friends and foes can be eyeing each other all around.

    Blu Lobster could work, but I’d have to call and ask if they have big round tables somewhere. Then we could just hang out in the bar there and bond could stay the night with some mysterious girl. If he wants to go out I’d say Q Bar should be able to provide a martini properly mixed.

  9. sorry for the double post, seems the system changed and you don’t see your own comment untill it’s been approved.

  10. I would take Bond to Duck de Chine at 1/5 to try the Beijing delicacy of duck. It helps that the Bollinger champagne bar is there as well; Bond never goes without his Bollinger, be it Sean or Pierce.
    Then after dinner, head over to Ichikura to choose from 100 Bourbons, Scotches and Single Malts!

  11. Hi Aros,

    No change in the system – I always leave the “approve” button on, to keep out spam and other junk.

    If your comments appear right after you post them, it’s because I’m online at that time.

    And you’re right, there are no casinos in town, at least none I know of, but maybe Bond could get into some Texas Hold ‘Em?

    Cheers, Boyce

  12. After getting settled in his suite at the St. Regis, I would take Bond to a black-tie coctail-event in the Forbidden City. We would arrive in an armored tank driving up Chang-an. The dinner,attended only by high ranking Generals and some dignitaries from North Korea, should put him in a familiar snappy mood. If he drinks too many coctails or gets boored, he can tour the venue listening to himself on the audio-tour. Red Capital Club would be the venue of choice for the dinner with local arms-dealer LiZhun. Would naturally show Mr. Bond a good drink- and Q bar is the place to get them. On the way home to the hotel the limo will have to stop by the Night Market for a mouthful of arguotou and some fried cricket(Truth be told: that’s the source of his labido).
    I’ll retreat with the long-legged russian agent who has followed us all night while Mr. Bond heads out in the night in search of somewh(e/o)re nice because paying for it would be a truly new experience for the ShuaiGe of all ShuaiGes.

  13. @ Froog,

    Agree: Connery was the best.

    @ Pete,

    Fried crickets… Hmmm, we may have a potential export business on our hands.

    Cheers, Boyce

Comments are closed.