Beijing Boyce

Announcing the results of this blog’s first contest - The Haiku Challenge. The four esteemed judges - Naoko Aoki, Jo Lusby, Badr Benjelloun and Will Moss - have made their picks, two during an in-depth powwow at The Bookworm last night and two by email. The system: I took the “top five” of each judge, assigned points - five for first place, four for second place, and so on - and tallied the scores to determine the winner. I gave the judges the haikus in alphabetical order (using the first letter of each poem) without the authors’ names.

To build suspense, and make everyone as excited as a trembling hamster on a vibrating bed, I’ll first list the runners-up, each of whom receives a bottle of 42 Below vodka:

New Yugong Yishan
No more souvenir t-shirts
Hipsters do laundry
- A. Lopez

*

One was bad enough,
now I don’t know which to choose,
Pure Girl multiplies.
- J. Kornides

*

Sunday memories:
Smokey clothes, missing mobile,
Yanjing hangover.
- J. Nicholson

The winner, who receives three bottles of 42 Below vodka and a 500-kuai gift certificate to Song, is:

I worship only
one divine being, and her
name is Suzy Wong
- M. Wong (note: we presume he is of no relation so Suzie)

Here, for your reading enjoyment, are more haikus:

Beer Mania calls.
Belgians by the bottle, but
I want a waffle.
- D. Murphy

*

Didn’t bathe today
Do the Kai Bar bump and jump.
Going indie pays.
- D. Murphy

*
Eat, Drink, Scan, Talk, Dance
My “rou chuan-r” burns at both ends
Bars abound, no time
- M. Lewis

*

Even TWENTY’s old
Amid the Euro-teen hordes.
Underage drinkers!
- P. Murphy

*

Headache and nausea:
What one surely deserves, post
Beijing-style night out
- E. Tchoudjinoff

*

Headache, nausea
Skid marks across my jacket
Bus Bar hit and run
- A. Lopez

*

Hey there! FuWuYuan!
Please bring us another round.
The night’s just begun.
- G. Loveland

*

Language partners drink
Racks of tequila shooters
It’s Lush at first sight
- A. Lopez

*

Naked bodies floa-
ting in water and on the
walls of China Doll
- R. Deng

*

Now we dream awake
And conjure the sun’s return.
One drink, one thought more.
- P. Murphy

*

Obiwan hidden
at Xihai, movie nights and
themed parties with class
- R. Deng

*

One hundred kuai gets
you twelve sweet reasons why you
put up with Nanjie.
- M. Wong

*

One, two, twelve shooters.
Only bought ten. My liver:
last seen at NanJie
- D. Murphy

*

orange sun setting
silhouettes over houhai
the night is still young
- J. Dominick

*

Q-Bar Martinis
Or Rickshaw Margaritas?
“The Beijing Question.”
- J. Nicholson

*

Still got the rack, upped
the ante with a floor, show
some love at Nanjie
- R. Deng

*

Tacky malls arise
Eclipsing former hotspots.
‘Sanlitun’ no more.
- P. Murphy

*

Three AM Monday
Five-kuai monsters at Shooters
Foresee work day doom
- E. Tchoudjinoff

*

Tongli Studios,
Bars they come and go like us,
Strangers in the night.
- J. Kornides

*

Vomit on my clothes,
I remember real cheap drinks,
Wudaokou last night.
- J. Kornides

*

What brings us to the
Ulaan Batur Jockey Club?
Just Maggies’ hot-dogs…
- J. Nicholson

Thanks to everyone for participating. I will contact the winners to arrange for delivery of their prizes.

2 comments

I have been making the rounds with my laptop in search of spots that offer decent food, drink, and online access. This is part three of my winter wireless wrap-up. (Previously: Le Petit Gourmand; The Stone Boat)

The Rickshaw

The good
- Solid comfort food, including medium wings, burritos, and chicken pot pies
- Cozy stalls, though it is chilly downstairs
- Diverse clientele: I have ended up talking to dozens of people in the food and beverage industry, a guy whose family has a stake in an ice wine facility in China, a guy in charge of wiring all the Olympic stadiums, the GM of a five-star hotel, film makers, journalists, and teachers describing the trials and tribulations of the Chinese classroom, among others
- The NBA package: They have it, so I can watch basketball while I work. With five screens, other sports nuts can also catch their games of choice.
- Fellow laptop warriors: on most afternoons, there are about a half-dozen other people getting online.
- The staff is friendly and generally efficient, though when management is away, service can easily slide down the tube
- The only place in town you can hear Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America” on an almost daily basis

The bad
- Diverse clientele: Along with the interesting patrons, there are some weird people as well as more than a few of the type that loudly want everyone to know the important business deal on which they are working (”I need to crack some skulls to get the equipment in-country, you know how it is dealing with the local ops, man, where would they be without  me, yadda, yadda, yadda.”)
- Too many people consuming liquids + one toilet = bladder strain
- It tends to get smoky

The wireless
- Access is excellent, and given the food, cozy seating, and NBA Channel, not to mention proximity to my apartment, The Rickshaw remains my place of choice for going online.

Next: Sequoia Cafe

2 comments