Beijing Boyce

After our recent Go North Campaign, The Cellar Rat stuck closer to home and toured local spots. I decided to give an award to each place. (Note: This is part one of two.)

Rock n’ Roll: best use of red light and industrial design to provide a feel that is one part Cold War, one part Blade Runner, one part Logan’s Run and one part Mad Max (or maybe that’s the Budweiser talking)
Sunday night, 9:30 PM, most people are home getting ready for the work week, no? No. One recent Sunday, at least, people were packed into Rock n’ Roll to enjoy a cross-talk performance, dance music and plenty of the “Champagne of beers” - Budweiser.

You get to Rock n’ Roll through an entrance that features a rippled cement wall traversed by water and illuminated with red light. If that doesn’t scare you off, enter the cargo elevator and exit to a dim lobby dominated by concrete, stainless steel, a turnstile, and more red light. (This seems like a perfect set for a movie about foreign bar-goers who head out in search of a night of fun but instead find themselves drugged and harvested of organs, but I digress.) After paying the entrance fee (25 kuai), expect the metal detector treatment if you’re not checking your bag (2 kuai).

Inside, the seating is largely a curving mass of bar stools, tables, and lounge areas facing the dance floor. A warm six-pack of Budweiser and a fruit plate seem common fare, with a bottle of Bud at 25 kuai. The crowd tended to be twenty-something, but included numerous older patrons.

A cross-talk was in full play as we arrived, to the approval of the patrons, and then music began throbbing and the dance floor filled. Given there were but a handful of foreigners amid a few hundred locals, I suggested The Cellar Rat do us proud and bust out his infamous trademark moves, including the White Man’s Overbite, but he declined.

Cross: the most misleading signage on Sanlitun South
The large sign on the façade of Cross features the words “French style” and a photo of an attractive Caucasian woman seated at a table while two men look admiringly at her from a distance. It says one thing to me: massage. Actually, that’s what a sign says below it - “Massage - B1″ so finding a nice wine bar inside was a surprise.

The Cellar Rat described the interior as French colonial, which meant lots of plush chairs, dark woods, elaborate candlesticks, tan and chocolate-colored textiles, and a palm tree that starts on the main floor and rises into an empty space around which wraps a second floor balcony.

The lighting is dim, the staff is efficient, and this night saw numerous couples enjoying a Sunday of wining and dining. The wine list is extensive with plenty of choice, from Grand Cru to less wallet-punishing labels. Whisky starts at 38 kuai, cocktails are in the 50-kuai area.

A female singer and a male pianist performed standard fare, from Teresa Deng to Mariah Carey and The Beatles. The only downside: when the pianist went vocalist and massacred Casablanca. Again, it was a nice surprise to find a place to enjoy some wine and candlelit interaction.

Yes: best use of chemicals for crowd control
Just up the street and around the corner from Beer Mania, Yes also drew a large crowd on this Sunday. This is a standard bar / club: a long oval bar, lots of table seating, a dance floor, and a more exclusive area in back, with plenty of electric blues, candy apple reds, lime greens and ambers for those attracted to lights. The crowd tended to be young and the place apparently doubles as singles hangout (there’s a “partner wanted” board out front).

I’m not keen on the staff uniforms. The pink and white pajama / bowling shirt getups worn by the floor staff are okay, I guess, but having bar staff in sleeveless schoolboy outfits is a bit off (especially if they’re working hard and getting sweaty).

Our exit came shortly after the flair bartending show began. We saw the staff rolling up flammable materials, adding lighter fluid, and sticking them in bottles. Once those wicks were lit, we quickly called it a night before the ensuing cloud of gaseous fumes overtook us…

Note: Check back for part 2 of this pub crawl, in which The Cellar Rat lights himself on fire, throws up on a bar owner’s pet Chihuahua, and decides to have his two competing personalities engage in bilingual cross-talk in order to amuse a nearby table of Slovenian supermodels. (Actually, none of those things happened, but I thought a teaser was in order. However, if anyone knows of Slovenian supermodels that require amusing, please email me at beijingboyce@yahoo.com.)