Beijing Boyce

Still water still life

It’s not exactly turning water into wine, more like adding it to the product mix, as ASC Fine Wines introduces Voss to China and Macau. Summergate has Perrier, and now ASC is positioning itself to scoop up a bucketful of the premium bottled water market.

Beijing Boyce is a value-conscious consumer and has difficulty getting excited about things like this (I expect the stuff will cost more than 100 kuai for 500 ML at hotel restaurants). But he realizes some out there might be thirsty for information, so here you go:

- Voss springs from Norway and carries a hint of the Viking sweat that for centuries has steeped through the nation’s soil and finally reached its water supply.

- It is low in minerals and those it does have originate from the few micro-grams of pulverized Yangtze River dolphin bones added to each bottle, thus localizing the product and making it attractive in China as both a potential aphrodisiac and a rarity.

- The bottle was designed by the former creative director for Calvin Klein - apparently the director scrutinized a CK perfume sampler, dictated to lower-downs to “make it bigger and take the spray cap off”, and returned to sipping Whisky and water (Voss, of course).

Actually, only the bold parts above are true. As I said, I have trouble getting excited about this stuff…

Now for the consumer report: three people in my office have tried Voss and liked it - one even proclaimed it her favorite water. I also took a bottle to Mare last eve and gave some to a manager. “It’s soft,” he said. Well, there’s no doubting the water is good — it’s a matter of how much people are willing to pay for it.

By the way, Voss is popular with Lindsay Lohan. That’s not inspiring. I suggest trying to associate the water with someone a bit classier, say Scarlett Johannson.

And before anyone is so bold as to claim Voss as the purest water in the world, it is not. That honor goes to Canada.

In Beijing, Voss is available at Face, Centro and Lan.