Beijing Boyce

A recent China Law Blog post provoked commentators to contrast Beijing and Shanghai taxi drivers. In my humble opinion, it comes down to one word - consistency.

Most Shanghai cabbies tend to have reasonably clean cabs and give reasonably good service. Beijing cabbies, in contrast, are all over the map. The taxis here range from spotless and fresh to filthy and smelling like the driver uses the glove compartment for composting. Some drivers readily turn the radio volume up or down, while others get offended and act as though you should feel privileged to be in their cab. They span the “friendliest guy in the world” to those who look as though they might slit passengers’ throats and stuff their bodies in the trunk (maybe that’s where the smell comes from).

But this is simply one rider’s opinion. To test it, I kept notes on the five Beijing taxis I took last Thursday.

1. The aroma of the taxi’s interior hovered between “moist tobacco” and “five-day-old skid-marked shorts” (don’t ask). The driver hustled me to work, provided change, and rode off without uttering a word, although he did grunt an affirmation when I provided my intended address.

2. This guy asked me if I was from Europe. I told him no. He said “okay”, played a Bob Marley CD and hummed along as I sang the choruses. We joked about how to translate “No Woman, No Cry” and it seemed as though he related the song to his marriage.

3. I clearly emphasized I wanted to go to Hua Reun Building, not Hua Reun Hotel, but the driver headed for the latter. Just when we got on track, he spotted a friend in another car and basically waved me out of the cab so he could stop and chat. I left without paying and walked off. He pulled up a few minutes later to offer a ride. I refused. Not only because he had been unprofessional, but also because his breath smelled like he’d eaten a month-old tuna and garlic sandwich wrapped in a dirty diaper.

4. Twenty seconds into the ride, this driver pointed to a public toilet and indicated with explicit body language that he needed to use it. I told him I was in a hurry. He drove on and became increasingly sullen. I gave him a four-kuai tip because I felt guilty.

5. This guy had his radio on loud, even though it only played static, but turned it down when requested. He used a flattened straw to clean out his ears while he drove. The trip was otherwise uneventful.

All over the map…

Still water still life

It’s not exactly turning water into wine, more like adding it to the product mix, as ASC Fine Wines introduces Voss to China and Macau. Summergate has Perrier, and now ASC is positioning itself to scoop up a bucketful of the premium bottled water market.

Beijing Boyce is a value-conscious consumer and has difficulty getting excited about things like this (I expect the stuff will cost more than 100 kuai for 500 ML at hotel restaurants). But he realizes some out there might be thirsty for information, so here you go:

- Voss springs from Norway and carries a hint of the Viking sweat that for centuries has steeped through the nation’s soil and finally reached its water supply.

- It is low in minerals and those it does have originate from the few micro-grams of pulverized Yangtze River dolphin bones added to each bottle, thus localizing the product and making it attractive in China as both a potential aphrodisiac and a rarity.

- The bottle was designed by the former creative director for Calvin Klein - apparently the director scrutinized a CK perfume sampler, dictated to lower-downs to “make it bigger and take the spray cap off”, and returned to sipping Whisky and water (Voss, of course).

Actually, only the bold parts above are true. As I said, I have trouble getting excited about this stuff…

Now for the consumer report: three people in my office have tried Voss and liked it - one even proclaimed it her favorite water. I also took a bottle to Mare last eve and gave some to a manager. “It’s soft,” he said. Well, there’s no doubting the water is good — it’s a matter of how much people are willing to pay for it.

By the way, Voss is popular with Lindsay Lohan. That’s not inspiring. I suggest trying to associate the water with someone a bit classier, say Scarlett Johannson.

And before anyone is so bold as to claim Voss as the purest water in the world, it is not. That honor goes to Canada.

In Beijing, Voss is available at Face, Centro and Lan.