Beijing Boyce

He’s had management positions at The Pavillion, Browns and TRIO (Frank’s Place) during the past two years and now Gleann Phealan will soon be heading up his own place — the Irish bar Paddy O’Shea’s. Glenn took time out of his busy schedule of personally testing the new beer taps and answered a few questions.

When is the bar opening and what kind of layout can patrons expect?

The new spot is on two floors with each one approximately 190 square meters. Ground level will have the bar, covering two walls, as the main focal point. We are trying to avoid that tacky Irish Pub look that you find in so many cities around the world and to keep with the traditions of back home, to make it homey and warm where the focus is on de-stressing and having a good time. There will be plenty of sports - we’ll have four plasma screens and a digital projector.

Good advice would be to leave the business cards at home since this is a place to go after work and relax, and there is a snug for a quiet chat.

The second floor is more upbeat and has a sixties yet modern feel going on. The rest is a surprise!

The soft opening is targetted for early October.

What’ll you have on tap?

Guinness, Kilkenny, Beamish, Carlsberg, Boddingtons (the supplier tells me all the kinks are fixed, we will see) and Stella Artois . So, six in total.

You’ve worked at Pavillion, Browns and TRIO – what have you learned about Beijing bars?

How to get the best out of the staff. I have to put my hand on heart and say the Chinese crew is the best I have worked with. If you show a little care for them, you get so much in return.

Ex pats! Fickle, impatient and fussy for sure, but looking after the basic needs of good service, value for money and a friendly smile seems to keep the wide range of expats happy. Not too many bars are doing it here!

What’s been the toughest challenge in opening the bar?

Three things – the government, the government, oh, and yeah the government!

You once almost lit me on fire with a flaming Lamborghini – does the guilt still gnaw at you?

Sorry Boycey, I was never guilty to begin with. Remember, it was almost. Next birthday I will get you for sure!

I owed myself a weekend of fun for ages and cashed in last Friday, Saturday and Sunday by attending five wine events. Here’s number five:

Sometimes you need to cut your losses. After four fun wine events, I pushed Lady Luck when Sir Campbell T called last Sunday afternoon about a wine auction being held at a new store – Dionysus – in Jianwai Soho. I made a hasty retreat from The Rickshaw, met Sir C, and headed for Soho where, with the help of Cafe Europa‘s Joseph, gained entrance to an open-air event being held in the middle of the complex.

The themes were eclectic - a company named after a Greek god, a backdrop that was a tribute to jazz, an entertainment lineup of classical music acts, a virtual ceiling of traditional Chinese lanterns, and a hint of trailer park America (the plastic lawn furniture). The free wine was… um… not a tribute to Dionysus, let’s just put it that way.

Anyway, I’m not sure if the auction ever happened, as I was more interested in the wine shop, which unfortunately wasn’t quite ready, though I was able to sneak in there with a wine lover named Vic, who bought the first bottle the night before as he watched the inventory being moved in (yes, that was a very long sentence). It was one of those, “I would like a bottle”, “Sorry, not for sale yet”, “[Grabbing one] Oops, I accidentally opened the screw top“, “Um, okay, I guess we have to sell it to you now” deals.

I’ll have more on Dionysus soon, especially since Sir Campbell T says they are bringing in some very nice wine.

Previous wine weekend stories:
A grape-stomping time
One year for wine bar
Cabs, quizzes and sauerkraut
Reds, whites and you

“Comrades, this is likely to be our last full weekend of tunes this year,” says the Stone Boat in its most recent invite. Yikes – we are in that part of year, I suppose. Here’s the musical lineup:

Thursday, 9 PM – Michael Hussmann

“French whippersnapper belts out the cabaret classiques from Jacques Brel and company.” (I saw him at Le Baie des Anges last Saturday night - don’t leave your wine glass unattended around this guy.)

Friday, 9:30 PM – Hanggai

“Mongol roots mavens return from a summer sojurn to strum and khoomei (throat-sing). Look out for a cameo from a special visitor.” (Cameo? Did they mean “camel“?)

Saturday – Cancao da Felicidade

“Guitarist/vocalist Geraldo Lucio (Brasil) and percussionist Jimmy Biala (San Fran) are the most electrifying new show in town. The jocular Lucio relocated from Japan this year, while straight-man Biala from San Francisco via Taipei. Here the two renowned musicians have combined to form a skillful duet who do Brazilian style jazz and bossa as well as Lucio’s original compositions.” (First San Francisco loses Biala and now they’re losing Barry Bonds, who’s next?)

I owed myself a weekend of fun for ages and cashed in Friday, Saturday and Sunday by attending five wine events. Here’s number four:

We be jammin’

A winery-touring, grape-stomping, bottle-uncorking day lay ahead as ten of us boarded a bus in Guomao on Sunday morning and headed to Chateau Bolongbao, outside the city, for a harvest festival. Just over an hour later we disembarked and walked past row upon row of grape-heavy vines as we headed toward the well-kept facilities, set amid the mountains. The stroll alone justified the trip out of typically smoggy Beijing.

The festival kicked off with (a thankfully short) firecracker display followed by a dozen attendees - including several from our group – climbing into a vat of grapes and learning what it felt like to have fruit squish between their toes. We then headed inside to see how the grapes are processed and to view the winery’s equipment, before getting to the important part – trying some Bolongbao wine.

This day’s menu featured the 2005 blend of Cabernet Franc, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot, which I thought had a bit of woodiness on the nose, but was more balanced and fruity than the 2004. The accompanying food was an eccentric mix of peanut butter and ham sandwiches, chocolate cookies, cucumbers and bean paste, and cherry tomato - this was wine tasting Chinese-style!

A few notes about Chateau Bolongbao:
- Re the 2005 vintage, besides the blend we tried, the winery is releasing a Cabernet Sauvignon, a Merlot and a Cabernet Franc. Some Syrah was bottled, but is being used only for testing purposes and media tastings.
- The wine is available in the VIP lounges of three Chinese airlines, in duty free shops, and in about a dozen Parisian restaurants, but in only one public restaurant in Beijing. I asked Tony Chenof Bolongbao why and he said it was because restaurants were asking for an “opening fee” of 10 to 20 kuai per bottle and the winery was against this practice. He noted that Bolongbao wines may soon be available in Metro.
- Chateau Bolongbao plans to experiment with numerous whites, including Semillon, Chardonnay and Viognier.
- The leader of the tour, conducted in Mandarin, had an eager audience as people seemed highly interested in learning about wine.

Thanks to Tony for his hard work, including securing transportation for our group, and to the folks at Bolongbao for creating a fun itinerary. I bought two bottles of the 2005 blend and will be entering them in one of my upcoming blind tastings.

More vines than you can shake a bottle at…

Note: Thanks to Sparkle P Productions for the photos.

Sad news for 5:19 Bar & Grill fans - the landlord is selling the building and thus the gig appears to be up. Catch a last drink at the bar’s 24-hour goodbye party,  this Saturday at 12 PM to Sunday at 12 PM. Actually, given the length of that party, there will be time for a few last drinks.

I owed myself a weekend of fun for ages and cashed in Friday, Saturday and Sunday by attending five wine events. Here’s number three:

It took (exactly) one year but I finally made it to Houhai wine bar Le Baie des Anges last Saturday night for its first-year anniversary party. The layout is tight but cozy, with two seating areas separated by a bar with space for a half-dozen people. There are about ten wines by the glass and prices are reasonable – two roses and a house red set me back 110 kuai. The wait staff is friendly, though service was a bit spotty at times, partly due to the busy night and partly because they weren’t coming to the back areas much, but twas no biggie.

If you’ve been to Hutong Pizza, you’ll find Le Baie des Anges a few meters away.  You can also walk from Starbuck’s, down Lotus Lane and to the street with Buddha Bar. Look up the sidestreets until you find the one – it has a hotpot restaurant on the corner -  with the bar’s neon-blue sign. Or just get the map here.

All in all, a good place, a good time, and it won’t take me a year to return…

Note: Actually, it took me less than a week, as I visited this place with Sir Campbell T last night for a Moon Festival drink. A nice, relaxed environment…

A new Olympic event?

After taking top spot in the Beijing qualifier of the 42 Below Cocktail World Cup, Aria’s Johnson Ren teamed up with Cross Yu (Vault, Shanghai) and Alex Zhou (Volar, Shanghai) to finish fourth out of fourteen teams at the championships in New Zealand. According to a press release from Confucius Says:

Team China rounded out the top teams in fourth place, and the intrepid threesome of Johnson, Cross and Alex impressed the world with the continuing rapid rise of Chinese mixology. Their “chuan chao” (Mandarin for “spice of life”) brought together vanilla and clove-infused 42 BELOW Pure Vodka with a mix of lemon, vanilla, ginger, lemongrass and pineapple, topped with a sichuan pepper and vanilla foam to form a uniquely Chinese flavoured concoction served in an ancient zun (樽).

Team China’s performance earned the team high praise. Judge Dale DeGroff described their cocktail as ‘really amazing, beautiful and the tie of the spice and vessel were great. Asia is on the up.’ While 42 BELOW Vodka Professor Jacob Briars said ‘China has come on leaps and bounds since last year’s contest. Their drink was off the hook. Kudos.

Congratulations Johnson, and hopefully we’ll be seeing that drink on the Aria cocktail list.

I owed myself a weekend of fun for ages and cashed in last Friday, Saturday and Sunday by attending five wine events. Here’s number two:

The Beijing Wine Club organized a full evening of fun – including a blind tasting, food and quiz – last Saturday night at Sequoia Cafe. Here’s what attendees received for the 220-kuai entry fee:

• A blind tasting of two whites
• A blind tasting of two reds
• Barbecued sausages, salad, beans, sauerkraut, brownies and more, accompanied by a nice Shiraz-Grenache
• Two quizzes with an excellent mix of questions ranging from easy to challenging: name three of the five biggest Chinese wine producers, name five whites and five reds, name the profession of the person who invented Champagne (conventional wisdom says it was Dom Perignon and he was a monk, though wine geeks will tell that it was the brainchild of the English).
• A chance to meet new people in a crowd that spanned what must have been nearly a dozen nationalities.

This was a well-organized, high-value event that not only was good fun but also boosted my knowledge of wine. It lived up to the invite – “From the savvy sauvignon blanc to the spicy shiraz, by the end of the evening you will know a little more wine.” Kudos go to the organizers.

You’ve read about it, now you can see what all the fuss is about. Thomas Crampton’s blog includes this interview with a Hooters executive on the opening of the restaurant chain’s first spot in Beijing and pushes the journalistic envelope by (briefly) putting the event in the context of traditional Chinese culture (a hat tip to danwei).

The South China Morning Post and Reuters have reported that Beijing police arrested, and in some cases beat, between 20 and 30 blacks in Sanlitun last Friday night in what was an apparent drug crackdown. The Zhongnanhai blog quotes the SCMP report:

Dozens of black tourists and expatriates, including the son of the Grenadian ambassador, were arrested and some badly beaten during an apparently indiscriminate anti-drug operation by Beijing police….

“It was pretty brutal,” Beijing-based magazine editor Alex Reid said.

“I saw a man being beaten by six guys in camouflage. He was covered in blood. The police seemed to be targeting anyone who was black.”

Reuters carried this story, while China Expat included this post. As Zhongnanhai notes, there has been a conspicious lack of drug dealers in Sanlitun – since about May, by my own account. Expect more on this one…

I owed myself a weekend of fun for ages and cashed in Friday, Saturday and Sunday by attending five wine events. Here’s number one:

The task: to blind taste nine Chinese wines. The goal: to pick a favorite red and white. The rules: each taster received two poker chips and voted by placing them in the boxes fronting the wines they liked. Simple enough: here are the results of a tasting, held last Friday night at Sequoia Cafe, and my notes and grades (and as mentioned ad infinitum, I am not a wine expert, merely a humble consumer):

The whites

19 votes: Grace Chardonnay 2006
Granny Smith apple tartness on the nose with more apples and green plums in the light pleasant body. Someone described it as “like Chinese Semillon”. This is arguably the best value Chinese wine out there. (B+)

1 vote: Huadong Chardonnay 2002
Mild with some baked apples and honey on the nose; a creamy body. It tasted a bit too weak, too mild, too old. (B-)

1 vote: Catai Chardonnay 2004
Chemically syrupy fruitiness, almost like a cheap homemade wine smell, while the body had hints of sugar water and a slight bitterness. (D)

1 vote: Taillan 2007 (winemaker Alain Leroux brought a sample of a wine he’s only partially fermented)
The nose was medicinal with a woody varnish smell. This wine was so tart I could feel a stomachache coming on. (D)

The reds

11 votes:Catai Cabernet Sauvignon (note: one person voted six times on behalf of his table)
This had a warm nose – fresh cherries – though it smelled a bit syrupy. The body has less fruit than I expected. (C)

4 votes: Taillan Malbec 2003
This had a bit of old cut grass / straw barn smell on the nose along with some cherry (a later bottle had more fruit); easy drinking. (B-/B)

3 votes: Huadong Cabernet Sauvignon 2000
Pungent, dark red fruit on the nose and a decent mouth feel. (B-/B)

3 votes: Chateau Bolongbao Cabernet Sauvignon 2004
Dusty on the nose, with a light fruity red cherry taste, and slightly rough tannins. (C)

2 votes: Grace Vineyard Cabernet Sauvignon 2005
Some slightly rank strawberries and other fruit and some dustiness on the nose; the body was nice enough and seemed to have a faint nuttiness. (B-/B)

While I graded the Taillan, Huadong and Grace equally, I voted for the first. Proof these wines were at least drinkable – every bottle was empty by the time the last group of a half-dozen tasters left Sequoia and that included opening two more bottles of the Malbec.

Mingle opened in the basement of Margherita, around the corner from Tongli Studio in the building formerly housing The Bund.

Joop Shen, who’s bouncing about the Beijing bar and club scene faster than a Xiali cab changes lanes – note: he’s held positions at China Doll and The Bank in the last six months – is involved, though this is a cozier fit and it will be a challenge to keep a lounge feel given the temptation to take advantage of the sound equipment no hand — we’ll see if Joop can work his magic with the staff, theme and layout.

Another bar nomad, Gleann Phealan – The Pavillion, Browns, and TRIO (Frank’s Place) – will soon be running his own gig as Irish bar Paddy O’Shea’s is projected to open next month near A-Che and Dine and Wine. Look for an interview here with Glenn later this week.

Sir Campbell T informs that a new bar called White Rabbit opened in Nurenjie on Friday night. Time enough to visit this weekend there was not, so I’ll aim to check this one out in the near future.

Getting provincial: Shandong’s Catai…

or Shanxi’s Grace?

For those who complain that Chinese wine is rotgut, here’s a chance to shelve big wineries such as Great Wall, Changyu, et al and give the work of smaller China wineries a shot. This Friday, Sequoia Cafe features a blind tasting of a red and a white from four of the more interesting outfits, including:

Huadong (Shandong), which a few years back received praise from the likes of Jancis Robinson for its Riesling.

Taillan (Hebei), a French joint venture outside Beijing run by winemaker / Sequoia Cafe regular Alain Leroux.

Grace (Shanxi), considered by many to make China’s best quality and value wines – this is served at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel and has performed well in my own blind tastings.

Catai (Shandong), an Italian joint venture, which has wine ranging in taste (IMHO) from tasty to terrible.

The wines will tend to be the wineries’ entry-level offerings, thus buying a few bottles – if you like them – won’t bust your bank account.

The event is 100 kuai per person and includes the wines, the usual appetizers, and good company. If interested in attending, contact Frank Siegel at frank.siegel@gmail.com / 13701-178-073. Tell him you read about it on Beijing Boyce.

Saturday marks the first-year anniversary of Houhai area bar la Baie des Anges. Get into the birthday spirit with some cake, a quiz and quality music, plus specials on wine all night. Check out the bar’s website or call 6657-1605. Thinking it’s too hard to find? Well, there’s a handy map below

While you’re in the area you might drop into Buffalo, a bar best known for its billboards that proclaim wisdomatic tidbits such as “Shangri-La is in your mind, but your buffalo is not” (see this China Daily review).

The map to la Baie des Anges…

Last Friday, Eddie O explained to me that an issue of my newsletter without a reference to him is pretty much an injustice against humanity. Sort of like a doughnut without a hole. To atone for omitting him last time, and in the interest of world peace, here are five items about that camel-loving (see below) Eddie O:

1. Eddie O, co-founder of the Bourbon, Rye and Whisky League (BRAWL) and featured on CCTV for teaching free English classes on weekends in his neighborhood, will leave China in October. His goal upon retiring to Iowa? To buy a camel. “I have always liked to raise large domestic animals,” says he. “I would also love the attention. Imagine people asking my kids, ‘Is your dad the guy with the camel?’”

2. A conversation with Eddie last Friday after he spotted several older foreign gentleman with younger Chinese women.

- “China is the last refuge for guys like me who can barely get it up once a month. Show some of these girls a bankroll and they think you look like Dermott Mc… Glooey Mc… McGlooey Dermott… you know, that guy from James Bond.”
- “Pierce Brosnan?”
- “That’s it.”

3. A conversation in a taxi from Cheers to Capone’s about his ayi, who he states has “been like a mother” to him.

- “Has your ayi ever seen you naked?”
- “No.”
- “Have you ever seen her naked?”
- “No!”
- “Would you like to?”
- “No! Definitely not!”
- “Have you ever dreamed of her being naked…”
- “No, absolutely and definitively not.”
- “…while you and her were riding a Shetland pony?”
- “No, though I do have a soft spot for camels.”

4. At Capone’s, we reminisced about the “he brought a bun, he got a burger” story. In this episode, Eddie O is in Capone’s on a Friday night. He wants a burger. They don’t have it on the menu. He says that the next Friday he will give a bottle of Knob Creek Bourbon to the place and expects a burger in return. He says he will bring his own bun.

Eddie O arrives on Friday and the Italian chef Marco is convinced to cook steak tartar into a burger. Eddie O gives it a thumb-up, hands over the Bourbon, and asks the price of the meal. Free, they say. Shouldn’t I pay a little something for the burger, he asks. Okay, 150 kuai, they say.

Yes, the price went from zero to 150 kuai… and a bottle of Bourbon… for a burger. Talk about a humorless staff. And I can’t think of a better scene to illustrate how Capone’s does not “get it”. If only resident singer Bobby Taylor had broken in at that point and started singing, “put a for-for-fork in this pla-pla-place; put a for-ee-or-ee-ork in this pla-ee-aye-ee-ace.”

Anyway, there we were again Friday night, the only two people in the place. And still no bur-ee-ur-ee-urger on the menu.

5. Last Saturday, Eddie O bought me dinner at Chef Too, an excellent and cozy spot that Eddie repeatedly tagged as having “St. Regis quality at one-third the price”, even before he ate anything. The highlight: a medium-rare 10-ounce Australian steak with Merlot sauce and sides of steamed vegetables (carrots with tops, making them finger foods) and mashed potatoes (with sour cream and onions already mixed in, providing a nice texture).

Eddie O shared lots of beef and business talk with owner / head chef Billy – I learned that the former once butchered a steer and that the latter desperately wants to bring a Good Humor truck to Beijing. They are brothers in spirit and should not be separated so soon after meeting. Stay, Eddie O, stay!

Bonus item: I had a wild dream on Saturday night in which Eddie O suddenly appeared on a two-humped camel, riding closer and closer, kicking up more and more sand. His grin stretched ear to ear, and why not? As he pulled up the camel, he pushed a button on its side and the front hump popped open to reveal a mini bar. Bourbon, glasses, ice bucket – everything you need to quench a thirst in the scorching Iowan desert.

After a lull in The Land Down Under, wine guru Sir Campbell Thompson is back in Beijing for good. I met him on Saturday night for a lengthy tour of the local sights. Some random observations:

Block 8: The third-floor bar – I-Ultra Lounge – reminds me of a super-sized Centro. We headed to the rooftop bar, The Beach, where lounge areas surrounded by sand sit amid a network of elevated walkways. You’ll fork out 2000 kuai for one such spot and up to 5000 kuai for premium spaces. The only free seating – or free standing, given there were no chairs – was at a large round bar in the far corner. The place seemed somewhat soulless – maybe it was the too-slick design, lack of greenery, the nasty night pollution or the fact we were the only patrons – so to be fair another visit is in order, especially since several readers have praised this place, although usually in relation to the eye candy they say patronizes it.

In any case, given the beach theme, you might expect Margaritas and Pina Coladas on the menu. They aren’t. 42 Below vodka and Tanqueray gin are, but were out of stock, so we settled for Bombay Sapphire GTs at 55 kuai. I suppose the price was worth it given the spectacle of a bartender twisting the base of a tonic can into his hand, thus forming a vacuum and allowing him to pour the mixer without using his fingers (try it at home, it’s surprisingly easy). By the way, best to book a table at The Beach – as we left the staff told us that every spot had been reserved for the night.

Suzie Wong: The third-floor area has been redecorated since my last visit and reaching the deck now requires a trip through the back end of the dance floor, but other than that, it was the same old Suzie. We parked on the deck and enjoyed bottled Stella as the place steadily filled with a most diverse crowd - a woman anxiously sitting alone (let’s hope the guy showed up), several groups of local friends, a man out cold on a bench, the usual gaggle of older expat male-younger Chinese female couples, and so on. I’ve never been a big fan of Suzie Wong in general, but I’ve always liked the deck – earthy, nicely lit and seeming as though it’s cut off from the city.

Q Bar: This night saw a light crowd, and while the music is too loud inside, the place does have its compensations – the Q Bar team is well-trained and the drinks are good. Sir C had a Lychee Margarita and engaged co-owner Echo in a discussion as to whether there should be salt (as he likes) or sugar (as many customers prefer) on the rim. I had a Horse Neck, a pleasant drink with Bourbon, ginger ale, and a long curl of lemon peel. Just before we left, a guy walked up and ordered ten Jagermeister shots. Sir C sternly described this as a blasphemous request in such a cocktail heaven and nearly beat him to death with a mint masher (just kidding). By the way, Q Bar’s collection of single malts continues to grow.

The Rickshaw: A rugby had just ended and the place was packed with Aussies and Kiwis – Sir C, being a member of the former tribe, knew half the people there. It was Stella yet again.

China Doll: The second floor seethed with dancers. We struggled to the bar and decided on hydration – the fruity Ai Wan Jamaica. The patrons to our left were most happy and eclectic – one wore a suit, thick dark-rimmed glasses and a foamy farmer’s hat, another had a sleeveless T-shirt and Scott Baio aura, and so on. Celebration was in the air and we speculated about a newly signed joint venture, hopefully one that will produce some kind of vacuum to suck coal particles from the air in summer andGobi sand in the winter – the latter can be used to replenish The Beach. People-watching at its finest…

Cheers: This place was also hopping, to live music. Even better, Sir C – who used to play in a band – knew one of the musicians, a guy from Madagascar. I’m not sure what they talked about it, but perhaps it concerned their two countries containing at least half of the world’s weirdest creatures.

Maggies: This place was even more packed than China Doll, with men far outnumbering the women – the horror! My advice to these guys: why not just go to China Doll to meet the opposite sex? We parked outside and watched people pass while Sir C enjoyed one of Maggies most excellent hotdogs. By the way, you know a guy is drunk beyond redemption if he squints at me to see if I might be a potential “short-term” female companion. Realizing that being packed like sardines in a can with hundreds of other guys wasn’t our thing, we decided against going inside and instead bid farewell and called a close to a busy but fun night…

I love my K-Touch B922 phone – for one thing, the battery lasts a week – but if you’re planning to buy one make sure to lock it before putting it back pocket or you might (as I did last night) accidentally call a dozen people (apologies to all). I guess that underscored that my Taipei buddy E-Salt and I were on the move. Unlike the last time she came to town, and we ended up closing Maggies, we got a late start due to work and had a much lighter itinerary – three bars, three beers. A few notes:

Face: This is nook and cranny central, with a patio, bars and lots of lounge areas. Given the earthy yet upscale decor and the subdued lighting, I always expect to find a monk or two sipping tea or at least a nice Sauvignon Blanc. “This place is obviously trying to be trendy,” said E-Salt. “It has a nice garden but the way it’s lighted it looks like Christmas in summer.”

We stayed inside, where our fellow bar patrons included older feather-haired white men with much younger Chinese women, giving the place a Secretary’s Day feel. E-Salt opined that many of the remaining males would be more interested in hitting on me than her. The drinks are expensive – Hoegaarden draft is 60 kuai, Champagne cocktails are 115 kuai (and that’s for Moet) – but that’s the price you pay for décor, space, service and to keep Face in candles.

Nanjie: The opening party was crazy, but on this night attendance was light, the balcony being the exception. We grabbed a table outside and stuck to draft Hoegaarden – 30 kuai. Given the lack of residential space and the growing number of bars and restaurants in this area, the city would do well to cordon off the street out front from traffic, cobblestone it and create a pedestrian-friendly zone. E-Salt and I didn’t actually talk about that – we were too mesmerized by the cartoon hippo painted on the soon-to-open hip hop club across the street.

The Rickshaw: A good crowd upstairs as DJ Kris P. Cream controlled the tunes. No Hoegaarden, so we procured Stella for 35 kuai per pint and tagged on cheese sticks and an order of potato chips drenched in blue cheese. It’s hard to justify healthy eating when Beijing’s air pollution index is rapidly rising from 200 parts per million to, uh, 1,000,000 parts per million. I’m thinking we’ll make it in two years, so why not chain-smoke, eat artery-clogging food and generally live fast now, since the air will get us before lifestyle-related diseases do. Or maybe that’s just the Stella talking…

Anyway, despite the incredible free entertainment – a bunch of drunks were behind me, continually banging into my chair and providing memorable material, especially one young woman who kept (sincerely) saying, “I can be a penguin for you” (what does that mean!?) – we finished our beers and headed off into the murky night…

Regular readers know that I consume an enormous number of calories in food and drink. Thus, exercise is essential, and my favorite kind is running while carrying a long metallic thing with flames shooting out of it. Given this, I had no choice but to enter a contest to be one of the foreigners who carries the Olympic torch ahead of the Beijing Games – and should I win, I pledge to carry a bottle of Bacardi 151 with me to ensure that thing stays alight.

Please, for the love my perfectly toned (in 1998) body, go here and cllick “vote”.

Street racer

Plastered T-shirts will take the Olympic spirit into the hutongs when it hosts a 100-metre sprint this Saturday to promote its new line of Games-wear. The race is part of a weekend party in Nanluoguxiang (near Houhai) that promises plenty of music, food and culture.

The 100-meter race and a fashion show are set for 7 PM at Plastered, with fire dancers performing a “warm up”, at 6:30 PM. See this map or contact plastered8@gmail.com / 13910-205-721 for details.

Saturday schedule

Sunday schedule

From the last Plastered event (see here)

Owl right! (Thanks to The Crow for this Saturday night pic)

While Hooters officially opens today, I somehow ended up on an invite list for a VIP party on Monday and a “pretend to be a customer” event on Saturday and thus got some sneak peaks. On my way to the party, I ran into a female journalist and brought her along, the perfect guest for a spot known for its “Hooters girls“, which stateside are often equated with being top-heavy and globally with wearing orange shorts, sheer pantyhose and tight tops while doing periodic dances to songs I generally loathe, such as Mickey and You Are My Sunshine.

The Beijing Hooters is on Workers Stadium East, just in front of The Den, and the place was hopping. A few observations:

- There was a free buffet of wings, ribs, mashed potatoes, salads, dessert and more – I would give the highest marks to the ribs and spuds.

- There was free flow beer, wine and some kind of bubbly drink from France that was apparently sparkling wine (I went Budweiser all the way).

- The Hooters girls were extremely energetic in terms of singing and dancing, but need a bit of work in terms of actually providing service, i.e. I asked for a beer six times and each time the waitress cheerfully said “right away”, headed off, and then forget all about my order by the time she got to the counter. I’ll chalk it up to opening night excitement. You certainly couldn’t knock their enthusiasm.

- The old maxim that “some people should never be allowed near a microphone” applied to the hostess (at least on this night) who decided to outline the history of Hooters halfway through the evening (when everyone was already loaded with food and drink) and repeatedly and relentlessly yelled out raffle ticket numbers and other info (yes, we heard it!). We’ll chalk that up to opening night excitement, too. The Beijing owner kept it terse and told everyone to have a good time.

- Miss Hooters 2006, who arrived in Beijing a day earlier, circulated and signed fliers of herself. In hindsight, I missed an excellent chance to get a “Dear Osama, all my love, Miss Hooters 2006. PS. That beard is a dead giveaway!” flier, which might have brought a pretty penny on E-bay. Also on hand from the states were several company bigwigs and a handful of Hooters girls to train the local staff.

- The place is L-shaped, two-tiered and spacious, with both booth and table seating. It’s a nice layout, though on slower nights, it might be a bit awkward having a dozen Hooters girls dancing for a few tables of patrons.

- The kitchen staff beat the crap out of the stainless steel countertops whenever the Hooters girls finished their dances. The hidden message – don’t mess with these guys; they have knives and spatulas and are not afraid to use them.

All in all, it was a fun party, particularly as my table was loaded with Europeans and I have several photos of them chowing through a third basket of cheese sticks. These will provide ample evidence next time I heard them mocking American cuisine. Mu-wha-ha-ha-ha!

As for all the talk about the Hooters girls’ outfits, it seems misplaced given the number of hotels and restaurants in town where the wait staff wear qipao slit up to their waists and show more leg than a giraffe.

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