Beijing Boyce

Some fifteen months ago, I wrote about forming a rap band called Bling Dynasty. The plan was to perform songs such as “Yo Mama Huhu”, “Mi Bad, Yu Bad, Mai Bad” and “Yo! Mae Yo!” But as it turned out, I couldn’t afford the jewelry.

“Bling Dynasty” seems to be catching on in the media (and no, I’m not taking credit for creating this turn of phrase). Timeout magazine in Beijing recently used it for a cover story on the rich in China, as did CNN this week for a piece on luxury goods. The spinoff effects have been good for this blog. Since the CNN story came out, the “Bling Dynasty” section has drawn the most traffic outside of my hompeage.

“Bling Dynasty” – is every Tom, Dick and He Li going to be using it soon?

Yeah, baby!

Part I of this series came hot on the heels of spending far too much time at work. As they say, it was deja vu all over again. After a fun Sunday company ski trip, a week of late nights in the office and a fun Friday night karaoke session with co-workers (“My heart is like an open highway, like Frankie said, I did it myyyy wayyyy!”), I let off some steam with St. Nicky (SN) and later Eddie O.

SN and I started at The Tree with pizza and Hoegarden. The place was hopping, so we squeezed into a back room and filled up on carbs. The food and service were good, and that pizza oven near the door really sets the tone (and smell) as you enter. Good times!

We next met Eddie O. and headed to China Doll, first popping our noses into Cheers, where his tradition is to listen to some horrible Celine Dion song every Friday night. Go figure.

Anyway, we parked at China Doll’s second floor bar, which has a good view, quick service and cushioned elbow rests. Thus ensconced, Eddie O, SN and I got down to serious business – a discussion of all things Aussie (St. Nicky hails from Broken Hill). Our topics covered the TV shows McCleod’s Daughters, Neighbors and The Flying Doctors, the bands Midnight Oil, Frente and AC/DC, and of course Kylie Minogue (who apparently has had plastic surgery on her ass) and Nicole Kidman (who use to be married to one).

Having made all necessary judgments on those items, we headed to Q Bar for another chinwag, with SN matching me martini for martini (what a jillaroo!) and Eddie O sticking to Wild Turkey. For some reason, Eddie O kept saying, “I want a six-foot hot dog.” (It’s true, I have it on paper.) That eventually inspired a trip to…

Maggies bar, where you can’t get a six-foot hot dog, but can get a good six-inch one, with fried shallots, at that cart outside. Inside, the place was bustling – people squeezed past each other, the speakers blared the usual dependable tunes and Eddie O bought drinks! St. Nicky and I hit the dance floor for a good hour or so. At some point in the evening my belt broke. SN got a hold of it and threatened me with it as a joke – that was enough to inspire half a dozen foreign men there to ask, “how much for the night?” (kidding). I eventually fixed my belt, to the amusement of a few bystanders, received a drink as my reward and headed back to the dance floor. It’s not every day you hear Bon Jovi in two different places…

(This story first appeared in issue 32 of the Beijing Boyce e-newsletter, mailed on March 1, 2007.)