Beijing Boyce

When issue 32 of Beijing Boyce comes out at week’s end, it will bring the newsletter close to 100,000-word territory. That’s 3,000+ words per issue, with the massive Shanghai edition last year topping 5,000. If I had a kuai for each one, I’d be buying a few rounds of Alfonso Specials for my readers.

Even though traffic on this blog is quickly growing, the 16-month-old newsletter remains my baby. It’s comprehensive, easy to print, and has write-ups not yet on the blog. Issue 32 will cover:

- The first of my Chinese wine tastings. The mission: to find seven decent wines that retail for less than 700 kuai total, so readers can hold affordable tastings at home. Which among Catai, Grace, Bodega Langes and Changyu wins round one?
- The hairy, sweaty truth behind 5:19 Bar & Grill, and why some call it “home, sweet home.”
- Part three of the bar-hopping series, On the Go with Eddie O, with an Aussie twist.
- And the return of We Got Mail

If you’d like the newsletter, send an email to beijingboyce@yahoo.com with “Eat, Drink and Be Merry” in the subject line. If you’d like to know more about who I am and why I write this newsletter and blog, then check my about section. I’ll be doing something fun for Issue 33…

If you are among those expatriates assigned to Beijing by your company or Embassy and are unhappy about it, then I have the cocktail for you.

The Alfonso Special is named after Spain’s King Alfonso XIII, who was exiled in 1931 and spent his final decade in France and Italy, where I assume he enjoyed a few drinks. (He’s not to be confused with “The Fonz,’ shown here on a bike, a phone and the cover of, well, not exactly The Rolling Stone.)

A few weeks ago, I went to Q Bar early and asked co-owner / bartender George to give this cocktail a try. It was my attempt to move beyond the normally dry drinks I favor and to something sweeter. It was a success and I’ve since introduced this cocktail to my friends.

The Alfonso Special
1 measure Grand Marnier
3/4 measure dry vermouth
3/4 measure gin
4 dashes of sweet vermouth
1 dash angostura bitters

Stir (with ice) and strain.

Other recipes call for 1.5 measures of Grand Marnier and varying amounts of dry and sweet vermouth.

Note that sounds like it’s related to alcohol, but really isn’t: King Alfonso was from the royal House of Bourbon.

All you need is wine…

Faced with a wine tasting in my home in two days and a glass collection devastated since that last purchase over a year ago at the long-gone Riverside Cafe, I went on a shopping mission last week. M-Dawg and Pony suggested the Flower Market and I hit pay dirt there. I dug up the 22-ounce, thin-rimmed, Bordeaux-style Stone Island beauties above for a mere 10 kuai each.

I picked up 36 and went back the next day for six more (all they had left), 12 Champagne flutes (10 kuai per) and a decanter (40 kuai). The first photo below shows the Bordeaux-style glass vis-a-vis a bottle of wine. The second adds in a flute and decanter. The third is for fun. (Click the thumbnails for larger pictures.)

I got my glasses at Jujiayuan, the shop farthest back in a group of three in the Flower Market’s basement. If you go there, mention the “guy who bought 30 glasses” and you’ll likely get that 10-kuai price without haggling. Since I bought all of the 22-ounce glasses, you might want to call Zhao Xu Fai 13391-936-198 at the store to see if he has restocked.

As we all know, wine is a many-flavored beverage. To get the most enjoyment out of our grape friend, I emailed Dan Sieber, a bigwig at Summergate Wines, and asked him for five tips for imbibers. He wrote back with 12, including several specific to China (4, 7, 11 and 12):

“1. Your expectations of what a wine SHOULD taste like are 100 times more powerful than what the ACTUAL wine tastes like. Pour a nice bottle of wine into an empty bottle of bad wine (or vise versa), make some popcorn and enjoy the show. In other words, tasting wine blind (not knowing what the wine is) is the only way to really experience what the wine is like (even with experts this is true). I think that this is the only way to really learn wine (tasting that is, factual knowledge is from books).

“2. Always buy wines from family-owned producers. Huge corporations own most of the most famous wineries in the world. They bought them from the original family owners who made the winery great. The corporation then, to different degrees of speed, bleeds the quality out of the winery until there is nothing left to the brand. These wines are never good over the long term, as the quarterly stock report is god. The corporations buy ratings by purchasing big ads with the influential magazines, and some of the famous critics are directly on the payroll. Robert Parker is the only one I know of who is truly independent (or is the best at hiding it: either way it is just his taste. I don’t listen to him, he just helps by giving a general indication that the wine is good). Family wineries think in terms of generations, so quality is always the most important. Of course, my competition will try to disagree with this, but I have no idea how they could.

“3. No one is a wine expert. There is just WAY too much to know. In many groups of friends, there is one guy who is known as the wine guy. These guys often are the worst spreaders of wine myths (I saw it hundreds of times in restaurants where I was the wine waiter). Never take what others say about wine as truth, only get wine information from books. You would not trust 100 percent the word of a friend for a medical issue; you would listen and then look it up. Wine is the same. Even from me, I am not a wine expert, just a wine geek… that happens to also have a very opinionated personality

“4. When you are in a restaurant and order wine, and the server says, “Sorry, that one is out of stock, try this one” 90 percent of the time they really do have it in stock. They are lying because they get money to sell the one they suggested, and not for the one you ordered, ESPECIALLY if they are recommending a Chinese wine. If they do not follow up with a recommendation after telling you it is out of stock, it probably really is out of stock. If you think that you are being tricked, ask to talk to the owner if you are in a restaurant, or send an email the next day to the food and beverage director if you are in a hotel.

“5. Expensive is not always better. The reward of learning lots about wine is how to get a wine that tastes like 400 USD for 40 USD. That takes a looooong time to learn, and those are not easy to find. It is the big direct benefit from learning wine (besides just feeding the passion for wine). Spending a lot of money on a bottle is only necessary if you don’t know wine - then it can guarantee you some level of quality.

“6. Never believe someone when they say this one is better than that one, only YOU can decide that. If you like Hatsune, but someone tells you that they think Matsuko is better (assuming you have tried Matsuko a few times), would you just believe them and forget your own tastes? Of course not, you would just ignore that person’s remarks, confident that you like Hatusne better. Yes, as you drink your tastes will evolve, but no matter what stage you are at, something good to you just tastes good to you. Don’t worry about others, just be able to understand WHY you think it tastes better than wine B, and think about it. That will start the learning process.

“7. If you like a bottle of wine you are having at a restaurant, friend’s house, etc., turn the bottle around and write down the company name and phone number on the Chinese back label. All importers do home delivery, and at much better prices.

“8. You pay a premium for wines from famous regions of about 25-100 percent over wines of the same quality from lesser-known regions. However, without drinking experience, lesser-known regions can be a risk for quality. They are lesser-known for a reason…

“9. Don’t worry about vintages, focus on producers for quality. Good producers make good wine every year, bad producers make bad wine every year.

“10. Regions can only give you an indication of style, not quality. If you had a wine from XXX region or grape that you really liked, I hope you remember the producer also, because the region/grape doesn’t mean much besides an indication of style. It would be like saying, “I ate at a restaurant in New York and it was good, so all the restaurants in New York must be good.”

“11. Dry wines just don’t MATCH with Chinese food. Please everyone stop trying. It is possible to do it, but in the end the meal no longer resembles anything like a normal Chinese meal (wide selection of dishes, all in the middle for sharing, arriving whenever). Drinking wine with Chinese food is not about pairing, it is about wine survival. Top wine killers: spice (even mild), anything with vinegar (sauce, pickled, etc.), green vegetables, sweetness, bitterness.

“12. Sweet wines are not just for dessert! If you can eat gong pao chicken, then you can have sweet wine with your meal! They are both really sweet. The only wines that have done well (just my opinion) from beginning to end through a Chinese meal are Ports and Sauternes (or other types of thick sweet wines). These wines are the best at wine survival, and can even match well with some dishes. Try a Port with Beijing Duck (easy on the onions and sauce).

In an earlier newsletter, I described China Doll, the new three-floor club in Tongli Studio, as having “skipped the large open spaces, excessive neon and annoying light displays of other places and gone for intimacy - cozy seating, subtle lighting and clever use of mirrors and space.” What I didn’t mention was a short continuously looping video that plays on the first and second floor, and sometimes borders on soft porn. It’s hard to describe, so let me slide into stream of consciousness mode for a few minutes and try:

“A lithesome Asian woman dressed in gaudy jewelry, a thong and high heels swims in place underwater, her long hair billowing. (Patriarchal theme?) Upon reflection, maybe it’s less that she’s swimming and more that she’s STRUGGLING FOR AIR! (Symbolizing male domination?) Oh, now there is a MAN in the scene. He’s underwater, too, but fully clothed, and the woman is tackling him. (Fighting inequality!) Okay, I judged that one too quickly. She’s not tackling him. She’s trying to escape and - ouch! - kicking with those high heels. (Her gender is her weapon!). Look out! Major shift o’theme! Now a pair of dudes coated in what might be margarine are doing the clothing optional, underwater, slow-motion luge. (Olympics theme? We’re in Beijing, shouldn’t it be a summer sport?). Now they’ve been replaced by two women wearing tacky lingerie and lace gloves. (Salt water on lace!) One is behind the other, kind of frolicking, then reaching around and grabbing her breast. (Is that a summer or winter sport?) I’d go on, but my stream of consciousness ran dry. My guess is that the anonymous swimmer is one of the co-owners, Ai Wan, who appeared in that Robert Palmer Addicted to Love video, and the two luge mates are her bodyguards, who will pummel me next time I’m in the club. I could be wrong - especially and hopefully about the second part.

Anyway, the video gets tiresome by the third loop, though I worry about its effect on the impressionable minds of the young employees who’ve likely seen it a thousand times. Don’t be surprised if ten years from now some margarine-coated ex-China Doll staffer goes postal while watching the winter Olympics or passing by a lingerie shop.

Video aside, China Doll is a cool spot. The first floor faces Cheers and features a bar and lounge. The second floor is tightly organized and ringed by both canopied and open lounge areas, most of them with seating for six to ten. The dance floor is in the middle. Behind it is an excellent four-sided bar with padded areas for sticking your elbows! With this layout, even a dozen people is enough to give the place a good vibe. The top floor has the private rooms.

As for the decor, the “sex” theme extends beyond the video to the backlit nude photos, curvaceous lamps, and so on - a bit cheesy. Fortunately, the use of mirrors, subdued lighting and warm colors (such as yellows and reds) nicely pairs with the water-themed photos on the wall - the atmosphere is intimate. (Candles would be nice, but I guess it would raise fire concerns.) China Doll feels part Centro, part Suzie Wong and part Q Bar.

The drink selection is somewhat limited - the menu simply lists “standard drinks” for the Gin Tonic et al crowd - although there are fun house cocktails. A shot of Bourbon runs 35 to 40 kuai, a Heineken is 35 kuai, and Newcastle and Guinness are 45 kuai. The bar employees are quick and polite, and impressively handled a massive amount of traffic on a Saturday night. The management is visible and attentive. (The only problems I had during five visits were on the first floor, as two wait staff forgot my group’s order.)

While the clientele tends toward young and professional, it is nonetheless diverse. During my last visit, I left the second floor bar, which held a half-dozen nationalities spanning 30 years, and passed a big group of middle-aged Europeans in a lounge area on my right and a group of young local Chinese in the one on my right, all of them swaying to the music and having fun. Good times.

(Note: One wonders from where China Doll will draw patrons. I’m guessing it will siphon people from nearby Bar Blu and Browns, from the Gongti West club scene and those tired of Suzie Wong, and from the crowd that had such high hopes for Rui Fu, as well as fans of the old Cloud Nine - the one that was chai’d just down the street two years ago.)

My five years in Taipei included more than a few nights out, yet none in Capone’s, a bar / restaurant that has graced that city since the mid-1990s and was a short walk from my office. I’ve got a better record in Beijing, having twice visited our Capone’s with M-Dawg.

The first visit was during the hard launch in early January and we missed the free drinks by a few minutes. (I only know because the staff told me, which gets them high marks for honesty, but low ones in the “what customers don’t know won’t hurt them” department.) Some notes:

- Capone’s is in the new shopping complex called The Place, easily identifiable by that huge monitor out front.
- The Place is a mall, and you have to pass mall shopper-like through its mall-like lobby and hope not to pick up a mall-ish vibe before reaching Capone’s, on the fourth floor.
- This sizeable L-shaped venue has a lot going on in terms of design: a candy apple-colored backdrop behind the bar, a black and white chessboard-style floor, giant hat box-like structures descending from the ceiling, tea-green walls near the door, red-lit private booths, and so on. I needed a drink after taking it all in.
- The staff is attentive, efficient and friendly (though sometimes patrons just want a drink, not a speaking partner).
- The Gin Tonic was too strong, the Manhattan poorly mixed. In terms of the latter, it was good that the bartender asked if I wanted Bourbon or Whiskey and, when I picked the latter, Jim Beam or Jack Daniels. The drinks should be easy enough to fix.
- The wine menu is extensive, with some 45 options by the glass, including Grappa and Champagne. The wine is pricey, though, with Santa Rita at 70 kuai per glass (!).
- The singer was excellent, especially when he crooned Georgia on My Mind, though he was partially accompanied by recorded music.

While Capone’s is an upscale restaurant, I could see it as a port of call for drinks. Enjoying a glass of wine, chatting with friends, listening to the singer - there’s some potential here. One idea would be to uncork a dozen different wines, stick them on the bar, and let people sample them by the glass at a decent price, somewhat along the lines of Senses in Shanghai. That’s what I suggested one week later during…

… my second visit, as Harry Chen, principal owner and co-founder of Taipei’s Capone’s, invited me to dinner. I normally avoid these invitations because I feel guilty criticizing a place after being treated and because it gives the bar or restaurant a chance to put on its best face and provide an experience not received by the average customer. Since Harry said he didn’t care what I wrote, the focus would be on food (which I don’t cover), and I already had my notes from visit one, M-Dawg and I went - but not before I spent some 20 minutes outside staring at The Place’s 12,5000-square-meter elevated digital screen (see Look Skyward Ayi: The Mother of Monitors).

How was the second visit? The staff was attentive, the food tasty, the dessert interesting (chocolate and hot peppers), the three wines pleasant. And I still think that someone in Beijing needs to uncork 12 different bottles of wine, stick them on a bartop, throw dog tags around their necks with a (reasonble) price per glass on them, and then let patrons explore. While George on My Mind plays in the background?

About a week ago, I added the post “Did Someone Say Sex” to my blog. It included “sex” 22 times and was an attempt to see if spicing up the site would generate traffic. Alas and alack, my trickle of visitors remained a trickle.

This site does, however, come up as ‘top ten’ for a number of Google searches, such as ‘beijing meat market bar’ (imagine my pride), ’mythology involving stone boats canoe‘ (thanks to posts about Stone Boat Cafe), ‘bever shots’ (thanks to posts that refer to Beer Mania’s Mark van Bever ), and ‘midi j b jackson browne‘ (thanks to a mention of that singer in a post about The Pavillion’s patio). 

Also, try “which nation eats the most fish” on search.arabia.msn.com. Guess who’s number four!?

China Law Blog is hitting the bottle again, figuratively at least, with China’s Middle Class and Robert DeNiro Driving Scotch Sales Upward. The article cites this story from The Scotsman re the global boom in Scotch whiskey sales, particularly to Brazil, Russia, India and China. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence (see bottom) of this in Beijing. But first, some of The Scotsman’s China-relevant paragraphs:

In just 10 years, growth in China has risen from 700,000 litres to 5.7 million, fuelled by a burgeoning middle class that have acquired a taste for whisky.

At the moment the market leader is Pernod Ricard’s Chivas Regal. So incensed was [Diageo Chief Executive Paul] Walsh by this that last year he flew to Shanghai with a £20m cheque for his Chinese marketing team. Johnnie Walker Black is now experiencing 85% growth a year.

In December, the Chicago Tribune carried Chinese Whiskey Imports Skyrocket, which stated, “Chinese imports of Scotch whiskey have zoomed from $2.9 million in 2001 to more than $90 million in 2005.”

Last year the value of whiskey imports grew 84 percent. This year China is expected to crack the top 10 of whiskey-guzzling nations, according to David Williamson, public affairs manager for the Scotch Whisky Association in Edinburgh….

America remains the most lucrative export market for Scotch whiskey, but China has become an object of desire for Scottish distillers not only because of its size but because Chinese whiskey drinkers tend to be in their late 20s and early 30s — a more desirable target market than British or American drinkers who generally are older.

A few anecdotes from Beijing:

Here a few anecdotes re Whiskey (not just Scotch) in Beijing:

- Simple observation shows Scotch whisky is increasingly popular here, whether at clubs (where it’s often mixed with green tea) or as a gift.

- Choice is growing in Beijing’s non-hotel bars. Bar/restaurants such as The Tree and The Pavillion, among others, have decent selections. Last night, I popped into 5:19 Bar and found Crown Royal, Canadian Mist, Schenleys (!), Dalwhinnie and Balmore, among others.

- I’m posting this from The Bookworm - known for its 14,000-volume lending library, wireless, seminars, and coffee and food. On the shelf nearby sit 33 (yes, thirty-three!) different Whiskeys, including some rarely seen in Beijing - Glen Elgin Speyside Single Malt, Caol Ila 12-year and Scapa 14-year, along with The Balvenie, Laphroig, etc. I’m noting The Balvenie as though it’s fairly commonplace, yet two years ago, the only spot near my apartment that carried it - usually a single bottle - was a tiny bar called First Cafe.

- Several people linked to Scottish distilleries have contacted me recently to find out how to find a distributor in China. Meanwhile, The Kentucky Trade Office is looking to faciliate heavier promotion of Jim Beam (and, one hopes, other Bourbons) in the near future.

- One of the biggest battlegrounds for Scotch is in the nightclubs. I live close to a place called Gongti West, which has nearly a dozen huge clubs. The billboards are massive, with Chivas and Johnnie Walker fighting Hennessey to see who can get the most square meters of glossy ads.

Before heading out for the night, I thought I’d share some photos taken around 8 PM in Beijing on Chinese New Year’s Eve (this is my first try at thumbnail images).

The first shows the view in front of my apartment - the Russian zone is behind the pointy building in the top left corner. The second shows the view to the right, including Workers’ Stadium, which will host some Olympics events in 2008 (actually, I thought the fireworks last Chinese New Year’s eve would have made for a perfect opening event). The Bank, a lounge that will soon open on the site of the former Maggies, is at bottom left.

These guys enjoyed trying “hello” and “happy new year” on me. They are posing beside my friendly neighborhood fireworks stand, which I passed on my way to get dumplings (too busy to hand-make them this year).

The next photo is taken looking down from my apartment building. - a couple of families are playing with sparklers. The last one shows the view directly in front of my window. You can see three different fireworks displayed and yet it’s only about 8:15 PM. A thick haze of fireworks smoke nearly hid those buildings from view last year. That’s a lot of fireworks…

It’s out with the dog and in with the pig this weekend as we mark Chinese new year. Since I exhausted most of my swine-related humor in a recent mammoth effort to re-name Beijing’s bars and restaurants and wished a “hammy” new year to all in my last newsletter, let me mark the holiday by posting one of the more touching Beijing videos I’ve seen (well, up until that part at the end):

Who says people in Beijing don’t show public affection!?

Have an excellent Spring Festival.

A bunch of Canucks organized a tasting of seven single malts last Saturday evening in Beijing, a city with three times (~15 million) as many people as Scotland (~5 million) but, sadly, far less Scotch. Led by co-organizer DH, about a dozen of us sniffed, sipped and savored single malts from every major region of Scotland save the Lowlands. We exchanged thoughts on these spirits and ranked each according to color, nose, taste and finish as well as 11 factors, such as spiciness, nuttiness and fruitiness. We then picked three favorites and a cellar dweller. Apples, pears and even “apple pears” served as palate cleansers and most of us took a splash of water with our whiskey, served in five-ounce tumblers.

Here are my notes on each single malt, in order of tasting. Two qualifications: one, I am a novice taster; two, reactions to Whiskey are influenced by the order in which they are tried (I’ve already received a recommendation on a different order for these seven single malts). Prices are for duty-free, in U.S. dollars.

Dalwhinnie Single Highland Malt 15-year (Highland)
In ancient times, cattle herders met in Dalwhinnie, meaning “meeting place,” which has access to peat and to a spring, which provides water for the distillery, which means the cows… wait, how exactly do they fit into the story? In any case, one word summed up the color, nose and taste of this one: butterscotch. Though the alcohol content overwhelmed the flavors a bit, this Whiskey was playful on the tongue and fairly smooth. ($41)

Macallan Elegancia 12-year (Speyside)
The packaging features Macallan’s 300-year-old Easter Elchies House, with Elchies apparently being among the few Basque words in the area - the “el” means house, the “che” means hill. This single malt matures in sherry casks from Jerez, Spain. The nose had a lightly floral honey-syrup scent, with a hint of spiciness. I found the flavors mild and balanced. ($32.80)

Bowmore Darkest 14-year (Islay)
Aged 12 years in Bourbon casks and two years in Sherry casks, Bowmore is the only distillery that malts its own barley, said DH, adding that the company literature describes this Whiskey’s color as “polished teak.” Its nose was most pungent of the seven, smelling rather medicinal (iodine) and smoky. One of the event organizers said, “It’s got a BBQ sauce thing,” which rang true. My initial reaction to this Whiskey was negative, but I slowly changed my mind (see the end). ($62.70)

Talisker Malt (Island of Skye)
This also smelled medicinal, though less so than the Bowmore. I found too many flavors going on here and someone equated the sharp alcohol edge to a “blow torch.” This Whiskey elicited the widest range of opinions. DH told us that the primary tastes are sweet and salty. “Salty” sounded right. The label stated that the “taste might be challenging to the casual [drinker].” “Challenging” also sounded right. Even better was this passage from the notes: “Noticeable peat smoke and even iodine. Very light sulphur, toffee and faintly fishy. Sherry and kippers; wax paper and candle wax; iodine, hemp, pine resin.” Yep, challenging. (Note: the liqueur Drambuie contains Talisker.) ($41.30)

The Balvenie Doublewood 12-year (Speyside)
The nose was consistent and well balanced, with appealing warmth and hints of iodine and honey. This was a solid whiskey, with some distinct toffee flavors. A few people found this single malt mild enough for sipping neat. ($27.50)

Tormore Single Speyside Malt 12-year (Speyside)
With a greenish-yellow hue, this one flirted from being a bit floral to a bit herbal to a bit sweet to a bit medicinal - a bit too many bits that made it somewhat nondescript. DH said it is considered to have a “cardboard” smell, and that rang true. (By the way, does a nicer synonym for cardboard not exist? What did Whiskey tasters call that smell before cardboard’s invention? Wet log-like? Damp leaves-ish?). Further sniffing revealed more aromas, but the Tormore did not go over well with our group, and someone, in a less than flattering light, described it as being “like a girl from Swift Current.” Hmmm…. ($31)

Dalmore “The Black Isle” 12-year (Northern Highland)
DH said I could smell something burnt (apples?), but otherwise found the nose very light, with a slight medicinal smell. The company literature says Dalmore is an “attack” on the mouth. If so, reinforcements are needed, heavily armed ones, because this whiskey was also somewhat non-descript. Some tasters noticed citrus flavors, but I didn’t pick them up, so I may have been experiencing single malt-tasting fatigue. We had chocolate with this final Whiskey and it proved popular. ($28.50)

In the end, people listed their top three and one cellar dweller. Bowmore, Balvenie and Dalwhinnie, roughly in that order, came out as winners, while Tormore finished last. The Bowmore was trickiest: my original adverse reaction to its medicinal smell and to its taste shifted over time and I ended up finding it most intriguing - more research required! Finally, if only I had read the Macallan Web site beforehand and seen the single malts being promoted with the tagline, “Savoured and enjoyed by style leaders from New York to Shanghai” - then I would have voted the Elegancia into the cellar for pretentious ads alone.

(Note: I found the psychology behind tasting to be interesting. For example, the prices of the single malts listed on the tasting sheet predisposed me toward the most expensive spirits - if they cost that much, they must be good, right? - and vice versa. Listening to neighbors’ appraisals, hearing the descriptions from the backs of the bottles and learning this or that single malt has won awards also can have an affect. It just goes to show that to get the truest reading, it’s best to taste blind.)

China Radio International interviewed me earlier this week about - acquaintances at ASC, Summergate, Palate, Torres, Montrose, Jebsen et al grasp your faces in horror - wine! That’s right: Beijing Boyce, owner of a level one Wine Spirits and Education Trust certificate, able to differentiate between Champagne and Cabernet Sauvignon, and collector of corks (they make great mobiles!) is dispensing wine wisdom to the masses. I thought it prudent to burst onto the national scene by making a revolutionary statement or three:

- Red wines match red foods, such as kimchi, watermelon and cherry Popsicles; white wines match white foods, such as Spanish onions, rice cakes and plain yoghurt; rose wines match pink foods, such as candy floss and Double Bubble gum;
- Never, ever, ever add 7-Up or Sprite to white wine - unless you have given the soda a proper chance to breathe.
- Always eat the cork when drinking an “oaked” wine, as the two woods bring out each other’s flavors.

Of course, I’m kidding - except about the cherry Popsicles. The interview, with Dapper Dude Mark Rybchuk (scheduled to take the train to Ulan Bator the next day for a hockey tournament) was about “basics,” the kind of things one might learn in a WSET course, Wine for Dummies, or an introductory tasting. These included:

- Use big glasses that can both hold the wine’s aromas and fit in your nose.
- Serve wine at an appropriate tempature: whites should be about 10-12 degrees and reds around 16.
- The queen of wines is Chardonnay, the king is Cabernet Sauvignon - pay homage to them.
- Tannin makes your mouth feel dry in the same way that strong black tea does, while acidity makes your mouth water (to be on the safe side, always wear a bib).
- Trash-talking Chinese wine because you had a bad experience with 28-kuai Great Wall or Dynasty is kind of like hating all American and European beers because you don’t like Budweiser and Carlsberg. Local wineries that use only Chinese grapes, such as Grace and Catai, deserve a chance.

By the way, we did this interview while I sipped Jack Daniels and Mark had a Qingdao at Shooters. What can I say, our original wine-relevant location was closed.

Pipes Cafe was a ten-minute experience for M-Dawg and yours truly, but seeing how this Gongti South spot has dropped the “s” to become the singular Pipe, put up a new sign (a.k.a. a tribute to Coors Light) and seen some redesign, I dropped in and took a look. Plus, I was intrigued by this Valentine’s Day ad on thatsbj.com:

Hate Valentine’s Day? SO DO WE.

Our mantra this Valentine’s is W.W.J.J.D. - What would Joan Jett do?

Come down to Pipe on Wednesday the 14th for a Valentine’s evening without the slightest hint of mush. All the anti-love rock and eye-rolling you can handle. Bearers of poetry, candy or pitying looks will be shamed out of the bar.

Beer ‘n’ a shot specials for 20Y all night.

Starts at 8:30. And remember kids: no kissy kissy.

Pipe: 100 meters east of Worker’s Stadium South Gate (Blue Zoo), north side of the road.

Here a few notes from my half-hour visit:

• Main decor themes include rough-hewn wood beams, high flat black ceilings and big bomb-shaped papier mache lanterns. Plus, concrete. Airy, earthy, grungy, the kind of place that might pass as swanky - in a Mad Max movie.
• Seating is ample. There is seating at the bar, seating in low leather chairs, seating in bigger plush ones, seating at tables, and seating at some weird circular concrete lounge unit padded in red cushions and centered by a table that looks as though it’s decorated in bathroom tiles. Seating aplenty.
• Beer prices range from Qingdao at 10 kuai to Coors Light at 15 kuai to Coors, Heineken and Corona at 20 kuai. A shot such as a Tootsie Roll (Kahlua and orange juice) will set you back 15 kuai, while a Beijing Pipe Bomb (draft beer with baijiu or Whiskey) is 25 kuai.
• Food options include peanuts, corn chips, popcorn and a bucket ‘o nuts (which would be a LOT of peanuts). 

Pipe is perfect for an anti-Valentine’s Day event. The cheap drinks, limited menu, and grungy atmosphere and music offer no kindling for the fires of romance. The indifferent staff keeps affection, let alone any emotion (save for a slight wariness) from budding.

For those who can’t handle the mush tomorrow night, leave your significant other at home, gather up your 10-kuai notes, print out the lyrics to “I Hate Myself for Loving You” and head to Pipe.

The February issue of that’s Beijing has a story by Oliver Robinson about the apparent demise of Beijing’s Kandi Klub, under the Ministry of Sound’s Hed Kandi label. This part is compelling:

“We are dissatisfied with the way the current licensee is operating the facility,” says Michael Wilkings, president of Ministry of Sound International. But despite said dissatisfaction, Wilkings maintains that Hed Kandi’s reputation in China has not been damaged. “The Hed Kandi brand has not been compromised.”

So the local partner is doing a crummy job and the club is flailing, but it’s not hurting the brand? Hmmm…

Then there’s this, also attributed to Wilkings:

“There is no difference in working with Chinese partners or any other nationality, inside or outside of the PRC. It all depends on the individuals involved, and their personal business philosophies.”

So the cultural context, business practices and regulatory environment of a particular country are unimportant if you have a local partner with the right “personal business philosophy”? Hmmm…

People do get taken out of context, so I emailed Wilkings and asked if the above quotes were accurate. His positions: he hadn’t expected that’s Beijing to print his comments, he had no interest in talking to the media about these issues, and the Hed Kandi brand has not been compromised by “a single stumble.” Fair enough. He did add, though, that MoS will be back ASAP with a “killer club.” Let’s hope it goes better the second time around.

The full story includes comments from Kandi Klub’s former marketing and promotions manager, among others.

I recently ran a poll in the nightlife section of that’s Beijing’s online forums, asking people to choose one of four late-night snacking options in the Tongli Studio area. Here were the choices:

Cox (wings…)
Fish Nation (fish n’ chips…)
Kebab Nation (kebabs…)
Saddle (burritos…)

(I know you can order Saddle’s food at Cox, and Cox’s food at Saddle, so the poll is based on the food those places offer on their respective menus. I left off The Tree because its menu is much more diverse and high-end than those of the other four spots).

In any case, this was partly inspired by a visit to Cox with a friend who hails from Buffalo and was impressed by this little spot’s medium wings. The voting to date:

Kebab Nation 6
Cox 5
Fish Nation 3
Saddle 1

On the Beijing Boyce scorecard, my patronage looks like this over the past few months: Cox 4, Keban Nation 2, Saddle 1, Fish Nation 0.

The bigger point is that we have some decent choices for snacks after a night at Cheers, China Doll or Shooters. Now, if we could only get a decent hamburger stand down there.

This is the follow up post to Browns: Love It…

No bar gets more hate than Browns (except Bar Blu, but that place deserves it*, and Maggies). Here’s a self-interview that seeks insights into the animosity**:

Who hates Browns?

Many British people: apparently, Browns reminds them of pubs (including one called Wetherspoon’s) back on the island(s). Fair enough.

Anyone else?

One observer typifies Browns haters as those who “prefer to sit on old stinky beds (known as opium den-style furnishings), smoke hookahs, sip Mojitos and make what they consider devastatingly insightful observations - ‘What’s happening to China ’s youth has parallels in The Outsiders and Trainspotting.’”

Not all Browns haters fit this category. Some find the place disgustingly low-rent and prefer 49-kuai pints of Carlsberg at elite spots such as Face. Others like the predictable corporate nature of hotel bars such as Centro. Still others consider themselves “cutting edge,” aligned to a fringe music, art or cultural scene that, by definition, requires the rejection of Browns. Finally, a number work for the city’s English-language lifestyle magazines and seemingly were required to swear an oath to scorn anything their readers enjoy.

Why do they hate Browns?

You can’t pretend to be an intellectual, kick back and act like a colonial master, or feel cutting-edge - if you hang at Browns. As M-Dawg put it in an instant message, “Browns is real life. It’s the Grand Central Station of bars. No pretensions, utilitarian, everyone uses it from the businessman and the cultural elite to English teachers and the slightly insane.”

I also think some people hate Browns because they are afraid to dance in public.

Dancing?

Yes, people frequently dance on the bar top at Browns. It’s the often vain and cheesy public equivalent of displaying your singing skill at karaoke.

Isn’t Browns a meat market?

If it is, then places such as Bar Blu, Vics and Suzie Wong are full-on abattoirs. Some people do go to Browns to pick up, but most go with friends, employees, co-workers or students, and represent nearly every nationality, age group and profession.

Does Browns have hookahs?

No. If it did, then those who hate the place would give them up and turn to something else - Chivas and yak’s milk, perhaps. Management isn’t that cruel.

So what does it have?

It has good wings, a decent draft beer selection, high ceilings that disperse smoke, bar and lounge seating, a coat check. It’s close to Q Bar, Bookworm and Tongli Studios. At times, it can feel slightly sleazy and/or dismal, but usually it is fun if you are with a group of friends. Regulars who resemble Steven Segal, Scarlett Johannsson and Kim Jong-Il offer tremendous unintentional comedy.

What would be an example of poetic justice?

If Browns closed up shop and its patrons immediately headed to those bars that the haters frequent. Even better if the patrons arrived in tank tops and baseball hats, and upon entering said “yo.”

Yo?

Yo!

Notes:

* Kidding

** I know at least five people who will think this post is about them. It’s not; it’s based on about 20 comments over the past year.

Phil, of Phil’s Pub fame, has returned to Beijing for good after a long stint at Q Bar in Qingdao . / Sequoia Cafe in Sanlitun is drawing a fun crowd to its frequent Friday wine tastings. Email frank.siegel@gmail.com to get on the invite list. / Trivia addicts in Shunyi can get their fix at the Pomegranate on Wednesday nights. The bar had ten teams at the last quiz. / Months ago, it looked like Serve the People would soon open in the space where once stood Zing by Doodoo. Things have been in limbo so long I’m almost expecting a Serve the Doodoo or Zing the People to open. / Best ice cube in town: that huge Rubik’s cube-sized chunk that Q Bar uses for its Bourbon. / Thanks to H.S. for pointing out that one of the wines reviewed last issue is Church and State, not Church and Stone. / Goose and Duck, soon to relocate, was stuffed, so to speak, as that’s Beijing ’s held its Super Bowl party there Monday.

Note: I’ll start sending out the newsletter at lunch and after work today, and tomorrow.

M-Dawg and I went hog wild as we rooted about the nomenclatural trough and renamed Beijing’s bars and restaurants to honor the Year of the Pig - a dirty job, but someone had to do it. Here they are:

Pig Loft (Pink Loft)
Cloud Swine (Cloud Nine)
The Pork Grill (The Park Grill
Q Boar (Q Bar), Boar Blu (Bar Blu), Passby Boar (Passby Bar), No Name Boar (No Name Bar) et al
Squealers (Schillers)
Franks and Beans Place (Frank’s Place)
Sty Club (Kai Club)
Hoof and Duck (Goose and Duck)
Rooters (Shooters)
Oinkback (Outback)
Hog Loft (Hot Loft)
Lard Rock Café (Hard Rock Café)
Ham Jie (Nan Jie)
The Snortlard (The Courtyard)
Le Café Pigosso (Le Café Igosso)
Sow-quoia Café (Sequoia Café)
The Pen (The Den)
Sty Society (High Society)
Cen-trough (Centro)
Nash-squeal (Nashville)
House by the Pork (House by the Park)
Bellagioink (Bellagio)
Suckling-o-Thai (Sukothai)
Gi-sow (Gisa)
Boar Mania (Beer Mania)
Zhu-sy Wong (Suzie Wong)
Hamsune (Hatsune)
Pink Trough (Pink Loft)
Baloneygio (Bellagio)
Serve the Pea Meal (Serve the People)
Sow’s Beauty (South Beauty)
Snout Beauty (South Beauty)
Five Swineteen Bar (5:19)
Snoutback (Outback)
Sausage Caribe (Salsa Caribe)

When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better. - Mae West

One of the creative forces behind danwei.org spoke at The Bookworm last year about blogging. Among his key messages: sex sells. I think he must be setting sales records.

Today, for example, four of the first seven posts on danwei.org concern, you got it, sex! Topics include pole dancing, Anna May Wong (”the sexiest Chinese American woman ever to grace the silver screen”), Chinabounder (a foreign man who blogs about scoring with Shanghai women) and a Sohu sex survey. The last is notable,  given 12 of the post’s 280 words have “sex,” including an incredible five of the first 16.

In fact, danwei.org has so much sex that when I tried to use the find function to count it all, my keyboard immediately started smoking and I had to give up. I didn’t dare check the site’s Sexy Beijing TV series

Unfortunately, it’s hard for me to use the “sex sells” strategy on my blog. If I were into clubbing or hanging out at Bar Blu, Vics or Maggies, I could pepper things up, but I tend toward sitting on a bar stool, drinking Bourbon and chatting with friends.

My best bet is to slip in the odd typo. Like referring to Tim’s Texas BBQ as Tim’s Sexas BBQ or, even better, Tim’s Sex-Ass BBQ, and using phrases such as smoked meat, in the saddle, and hot and spicy jalapeno potato salad (the last one won’t draw much site traffic, but I feel compelled to recommend it as a side order for your ribs). Even so, most opportunities are limited to changing an “m” to an “s” — Peter’s Tex Sex, Sexican Wave, Sexican Kitchen…

By the way, it’s not all sex, sex and sex over at dansexwei.orgsex. The site has also has some interesting stuff on China’s drinking scene, including these two related pieces:

Is there a drinking age in China?

Underage Super Girls hawking baijiu

And a trilogy from 2003:

Sanlitun Diaries1

Sanlitun Diaries 2 

Sanlitun Diaries 3 

Some of the guys at danwei.org are also behind those sexy - no, supersexy - Centro bar ads. Now those sell.

(Note: In a week, I’ll check my site’s traffic and discover whether the “sex sells” strategy has worked.)

Pictures, pictures, pictures - that’s my friend Kraft-D’s advice for this blog. Last night, I dug up a few dozen from a November 2005 trip to Taillan, a winery just outside Beijing. Sequoia Cafe owner Frank Siegel and the American Community Club co-organized the trip (for full details, see Tying One on at Taillan).

General Manager Alain Leroux (above, right) led our tour of Taillan, a ten-year-old Sino-French venture. He said that the vines are grafted to North American rootstalk to protect them from phylloxera, a kind of plant lice.

He also gave us some insights into producing wine in China. “At the beginning, French people thought it would be an easy market, but no.”

With that cleared up, we headed inside and learned that the vats can store up to 100,000 bottles worth of wine. Taillan has enough equipment to process thousands of bottles per hour, often doing bottling for other companies.

Our little group could never handle even an hour of Taillan’s output, but we were ready to try. After Frank unpacked a picnic lunch of cold cuts, cheese, breads and potato salad, we worked our way through what Alain called “drinkable” wines, including a 2000 Chardonnay, 2003 Rose, 2003 Malbec (my favorite), Merlot, 2001 Pinot Noir and 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon.

Drinkable, indeed!