Beijing Boyce

In tomorrow’s blog Browns: … or Hate It

I first stumbled into Browns one year ago, on its second day of business. The place was virtually empty, but the food, drinks, service and layout, including the tiered seating and high ceilings, showed great potential (Browns: Carnegie’s Comes to the Middle Kingdom). Brown’s excellent hard launch party reinforced this:

Browns put its money where its mouth is by holding an all-night two-for-one party two weeks ago. The special didn’t suddenly end halfway through the evening when the owner panicked about losing money. It wasn’t limited to those drinks that are dirt cheap to make. And the drinks themselves were not watered down. It all raised the question: Was this really happening in Beijing? I mean, did I really witness from opening to closing - which came sometime after I left at 4 AM - Guinness and Kilkenny for a mere 17.5 kuai per pint?

I’ve now been to Browns about ten times, either for drinks or food, and it has the potential of becoming the year’s best bar.  (See No Blues for Browns for the full review.)

That potential was due to investment in hardware and software, a decent location in Sanlitun south, the unpretentiousness of the clientele and the uniqueness of the bar, at least in the Beijing market (although Agent Red Wolf called it “a big Suzie Wong’s”).

There were problems - typos littered the menu, some employees struggled with taking orders and the music left something to be desired. It was also sobering to hear someone describe Browns as “the hottest bar in town” while I listened to Michael Jackson’s Beat It, sipped an average Gin Tonic and watched two nerdy expatriates try to pick up.

But Browns was on its way. That party kick-started many a night of good clean fun, and a few months later, it won as best new bar and best overall bar at the that’s Beijing annual awards.

A year on, Browns is slightly battered and bruised. Some key employees have recently left, most notably the supervisor, who had been on board since day one. The space behind the main room, which was to hold whiskey and tequila bars, remains unfinished. And while Browns still makes for a fun night out with friends, the crowds are sparse at times. There is also more competition, with the newest kid on the block being China Doll.

Two weeks ago, Browns marked its anniversary, and M-Dawg and I showed up to find a 50-kuai cover charge and a two-for-one special where the free drink was a beer from a serving station near the coat check. Not exactly 17.5-kuai pints of Guinness. To be fair, though, the music was good, the crowd fun, and the blue cheese wings tasty, making for a good night. (Thanks to owner Philip for giving me one of the “best customer” plaques.) 

Overall, Browns deserves credit for a solid year - its excellent Halloween party, its great selection of draft beers and the many memories it has given to those brave enough to dance on the bar top and those sensible enough to remain on solid ground. Now that the rookie campaign is over, Browns faces a substantial challenge, in Beijing’s increasingly competitive and unforgiving bar scene, of raising its game and maintaining momentum.

According to this story, Earth-eating Girl Tilts At Guinness Record, an Inner Mongolian woman has her stomach set on eating dirt for two months:

The girl, called Wuqibalaqiqige, became a minor celebrity after the media broadcast stories about her curious eating habits last year… The girl said she feels no need to eat normal food now that she has discovered how much she likes to eat soil.

I suppose her diet is low-fat and high-protein (think worms), but what wines would go with it? I asked Campbell Thompson of ASC Fine Wines (when it comes to dining, he prefers not to soil himself, so to speak, but he did respond to my suggestion of an earth / Riesling pairing):

You could play with the idea of ‘terroir’ - the idea that well-made wines are an expression of the place they are from, which includes the idea that the mineral elements of the soil are expressed in the wine.

Good Rieslings are often ‘full of terroir’ - because they are made without oak or malolactic fermentation they are a fairly pure expression of the grapes, and the grapes in turn are a fairly pure expression of the soil and microclimate they come from. Sancerre (wine from the Loire Valley in France, made from Sauvignon Blanc grapes) is also often described as having a pronounced ‘mineral’ taste.

Personally, I’d suggest a good Seghesio Old Vine Zinfandel from California – it is rich and silky (so would help to get the dirt down your throat), and also clocks in at around 14.5% alcohol, which would also help to alleviate the negatives of a dirt-rich diet.

Malolactic fermentation? Maybe dirt doesn’t sound so bad after all. In any case, note that sauce can play a key factor in any pairing. If you enjoy sprinkling Tabasco on your earth, that Riesling might be a better pick than Zinfandel. And if you’re the type with a fancy for earth and black truffles, consider a Burgundy.

(Note: I spotted the story about Wuqibalaqiqige on chriswaugh_bj.)

China Daily had a story about a drunk tank that specializes in handling smashed, hammered, plastered, zooed, chai’d and three sheets to the winded foreign tourists - Foreigners have a place to dry out in Kunming.

The [alcohol detoxification] unit run by Kunming First People’s Hospital was set up especially for foreigners on January 16. The move was initiated after many foreign visitors were found drunk on the streets, Yunnan Daily reports.

I don’t think Beijing should take this lying down, shakily leaning against a wall, or even slightly slumped over a chair after one too many. Trust me, this city has more drunk foreigners that the good folks in Kunming could imagine in their wildest dreams. All it would require to raise our city to the pantheon of drunk tanks would be to block a few streets leading into Sanlitun and roof the whole area with a cheap plastic tarp. Not only would this protect Beijing’s general population, but it would also represent an aesthetic improvement for Sanlitun.

(I first spotted this story on Chris Waugh’s blog.)

I gave a shout last week to Peter W, who has started a bar newsletter in Shanghai. His most recent issue is so info-packed that it demands a second shout: I mean, who else has recommendations not only on the best spots for getting a beer or glass of wine, but also mashed potatoes?(Plus, his return shout was appreciated.) To get his newsletter, email winopetechina@yahoo.com with “Eaglehawk” in the subject line (its his favorite wine). Here’s his most recent…

WINOPETE’S PUB NEWS - 26TH JANUARY, 2007

SASHA’S WINE BUFFET

Sasha’s (corner of Hengshan and Dongping Roads) holds a wine buffet every Friday from 6.30-9.00 pm during which it’s a full-on, free-for-all rush to the bar to see who can sample all 12+ wines before one’s fellow soaks. Cost is RMB148. Remember that at this establishment a regular glass of wine will normally drain your Christian Dior wallet/purse by at least RMB55. The wine buffet contains a selection of mixed whites and reds. Although there are many ‘nasty Nellys’, there are usually a couple of decent labels thrown in among the line-up to make the offer more tempting for vino know-alls.

With specials such as this, a Monday pints and pizza night for RMB100; a half-price happy hour daily from 5-7pm for standard drinks, good grub and a crackerjack wine list, it is no wonder that Sasha’s is soaring high when many competitors are struggling to earn a shekel. Service at Sashas has also come on leaps and bounds. It has taken them 10 unstable years to reach this level though, with many obstacles to be battled along the way; now it appears they can finally consolidate and briefly smell the RMB roses before raising the level even higher. Good luck, fellas!

FREELANCE TUESDAY SPECIAL

Every Tuesday til 9pm, Freelance (on Yueyang Rd, near Dongping Rd intersection) plies RMB15 tacos and RMB25 draught beers (Heineken and San Mig), both which are decent specials better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick. I indulged recently and was pleasantly surprised; the tacos were good on flavour, but a tad small. If you’re a Texan-sized teddy bear, you would need to order at least 6, while if you’re a sweet, Shanghainese ‘xiaojie’, 2 or 3 would probably suffice.

Business at Freelance seems to have picked up recently, which is hopefully the start of an auspicious trend - and not before time either, given that this place opened about 10 months ago to a din of deserted seats. A rumour is circulating that an ousted wine bar investor is considering joining forces with Lance, so watch this space…

FREE BOOZE ON TAIKANG LU THIS SATURDAY

A very reliable snout has informed me that there’ll be FREE beer (probably Steinlager), gluwein and other drinks from 2-4pm this Saturday at the opening event of a shop called Vervia. Located on Lane 248, Taikang Lu (enter from Lane 210), Vervia is apparently a merchant of furniture, fashion accessories, homeware and decorative items. Should you be in the area this Saturday arvo, how can you refuse free booze? I’ll be making a bee-line for it!

ASIAXPAT CHAMPAGNE MIXER: 1 FEBRUARY

Asiaxpat.com will hold its next ‘champagne mixer’ fron 8-11pm on 1 February at Jade on 36 (Shangri-La Hotel Pudong, Tower 2, 36/f). During this time all champagne and martinis will be buy one, get one free. Despite this being a pricier mixer than most, it always gets a good crowd and is worth checking out at least once. If you’re worried about knocking back the drinks too quickly, better first have a few happy hour pints at the Blue Frog nearby.

BAR INFO

Heading anytime soon to Beijing? Don’t know where to drink apart from Maggie’s? No worries, me old China, help is at hand. Check out : http://www.beijingboyce.com. There’s a website and you can sign up for free fortnightly newsletters, each the length of an Oxford Dictionary. Jimbo has traipsed around the traps for a good while now, so you won’t be led astray (but if that’s what you’re seeking, just ask). Pass on the word to any friends/colleagues/others who may be Beijing-bound too.

RANDOM RECOMMENDATIONS

Best mashed potato: Dublin Exchange (Level 2, HSBC Building, Lujiazui)

Best long island iced tea: Sasha’s (Hengshan/ Dongping corner)

Bar with the best view: Jade on 36, Shangri-La Hotel, Pudong

Best pint of Guinness: Blarney Stone (5c Dongping Road)

Best mojito: El Cubano (Hongmei Road, just nth of Yan’an intersection)

Bar with the best loo: (Sorry, haven’t got to the bottom of it yet)

Best bar music: Great older rock videos at Woodstock (Tongren Rd) on Fri/Sat

Best uniforms: Hooters

Best value wine tastings: Any Summergate event

Most educational wine tastings: Any Ruby Red event - www.rubyred.co.nz

Best place for a drinking holiday: The Philippines

AUSSIE DRINKS EVERY FRIDAY AT THE XINGGUO RADISSON

The Australian Chamber of Commerce (’Austcham’) holds a weekly social drinks function (only Aussies can tolerate a weekly official piss-up) at the Xingguo Radisson Plaza Hotel (78 Xingguo Road, corner of Huashan Road) in their level 1 Tavern Bar. The fun starts at 6pm and usually winds up about 10. Apart from food on offer, there are some good drink specials: Fosters Ice and Shanghai Dragon beer is just RMB10; spirits with mixers are just a snip at RMB25; juices are sacrificed at only RMB15, with Aussie wine at RMB35/glass (often Eaglehawk). For non-conformers and wusses who want to sip on a soft drink, it’ll set you back a whopping 5-10RMB, but if you take this teetotaller path, be prepared for your photo to be shown in every gutter rag from Dalian to Devonport.

As 26th January is Australia Day (Australia’s national day), many Aussies will be out on a bender tonight. Small-scale Aussie parties are scheduled for tonight at Koala Bar, Malones and Eager Beaver.

Just a few more things to note on Australia Day:

Skippy, the bush kangaroo: the name of a famous TV series in Oz 30+ years ago

Skippy, the butch kangaroo: maybe found at Club Deep in Jing An Park

Skippy, the butchered kangaroo: in the kitchen at Laris

Skippy, the pushed kangaroo: is that Mat?

HEARD THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE

Not much juicy ‘goss’ this week, but here are a few tidbits:

1) Two days after sampling Freelance’s taco special and writing the above report, a reliable snout informs me that the place is about to go belly up. Thanks, BB.

2) Eduardo Vegas is seriously considering taking over 5 on the Bund, after 239 (his restaurant at 239 Shimen Yi Lu) was recently abandoned due to landlord problems.

3) Castle October, a colossal Paulaner-type complex opposite O’Malleys on Taojiang Lu, is almost ready for its soft opening. The drum is that their rent is 350,000RMB per month and it has a Korean brewmeister. More juicy info to follow soon 9 (and you thought CSI was hard to watch!) 

HAPPY DRINKING!

RBL (Restaurant, Bar, Lounge), which included blues joint The Icehouse, bit the dust a few weeks ago. This was not surprising (see below) but it was sad, given that I love the blues and knew several investors and the general manager. I was about to write a post about the bar’s demise when reader DM sent me a detailed synopsis. Like DM, I had doubts about the place from the beginning:

… Icehouse reminds me of the New York Yankees baseball team. They spend outrageous amounts of money on their product, they have lots of strong backing and they have a good customer base (Icehouse has Chopschticks comedy shows, ASC wine tastings, Beijing Cheese Society events, etc.). The stars are aligned, but something just doesn’t feel right.” (See Fengshui Fiasco at Icehouse for the rest of that first review.)

DM explains what wasn’t right.

Hey Boyce,

I just read your thing on The Icehouse problems. Maybe it’s old, but I read it this morning, so it’s new to me.

The reasons Icehouse failed were obvious to me from the outset:

1. Location: I have lived in Beijing for a number of years and in all that time no one has said to me, “Hmmm, I know what we should do tonight, let’s go down to Wangfujing and hit the bars.” Not once. Let’s go to Wangfujing and buy some books this afternoon, sure, but drinking in the evening? Nah, and I don’t think I am that unrepresentative of the Beijing expat bar goer, nor is my crowd. Certainly local ex-pats weren’t gonna do it.

2. Price: Again, why would I go down there and pay 50 kuai for a cocktail when I can get a drink for 10 kuai at Nan Jie, or if I want live music, I can get a drink for 20 kuai at Yu Gong Yi Shan, to name just two bars on the well-worn ex-pat track. I can even go to Q, and get quality cocktails and listen to jazz CDs, without having to make the effort [of going to Icehouse.]

3. Blues Appeal: As you probably guessed from my email name [bloozman], I have been involved in the blues scene for many years in many cities, and spent an inordinate amount of my life in blues bars, from Toronto to Dublin to Chicago to New Orleans. I can tell you, blues fans tend to divide into two groups. 1. Blue-collar, working class types, who are definitely beer/jack [Jack Daniels] drinkers and not going to be found dead in a bar like The Icehouse. 2. Yuppies who like the blues and like pretending they are into that lowdown blue-collar stuff, and therefore ain’t gonna be caught dead there unless there is a special event, like BB King is in town or something. And local musicians ain’t gonna hang out there and listen to the music cause most of the musicians I know in this town, especially the Chinese ones, can barely afford a 10-kuai Qingdao.

4. Pretentiousness: The locals ain’t gonna bother comin’ down, so that leaves the tourists. They don’t know the prices are expensive, they don’t know they can drink cheaper elsewhere… so where is it [The Icehouse]? Hmmm, when it opened there was no sign of any kind, just a sliding glass door leading into what looked like a lounge or a hallway with sofas. Eventually they put up a sign, a modest sign that said RBL. Hmmm, that really tells me it’s a blues bar. The upshot of this situation was that outside hundreds and hundreds of visitors were walking up and down eating their scorpions on a stick with no idea that behind that sliding glass door was a bar with live music. So you have a band inside playing to 15 people and hundreds, maybe thousands of potential customers were obliviously walking by outside, and even a sign saying “live music” or “blues tonight” would have caused some of those scorpion eaters to say, “Hey Martha, look at that. I haven’t heard good blues since I as at that convention in Milwaukee. Let’s check it out before we go back to the hotel.” But that would have run smack up against the ownerships pretensions, their delusions of cool.

In fact, the owners were hoist on the petard of their own pretensions, picking the building without regard to the demographics, to the potential customer base, but rather what they thought was cool. This is all too common a failing in bars and restaurants in this city and what annoys me more even than that - I mean if rich guys want to throw away their money, that’s their business - but what annoys me is that no one in the press ever seems to point this sort of thing out. All during The Icehouse existence you would read descriptions, certainly in the ex -pat press, of how cool it was, how trendy, and no one ever said in any review I read, “Wait a minute, only somebody with the brain scan of a dieffenbachia would put a blues bar in Wangfujing in the same complex as a fusiony-type restauarant, charge 50 kuai for drinks, put up no signage, and expect anyone to show up.”

If you build it they will not come, not if it’s The Icehouse.

This debate has consumed me and Eddie O for numerous Friday nights while we have consumed a glass or two of Wild Turkey and watched life pass by, which in Sanlitun includes this mascot, his orange-wigged friends (see photo, top left) and enough shots of Jagermeister to cause diabetes, a hangover, or both. In any case, Ed and I know what Jagermeister is (and what it can do). We’re just trying to identify the animal behind it.

China Law Blog has long been among my must reads, not only because it has information that is relevant to my work, but also because of its coverage of China’s alcohol sector. A recent interesting post is Ladder Climbing with China’s King of Beers, which looks at how Budweiser has been positioned as a premium beer in China. I also like this pair of posts on China’s wine scene: Get Thee to a Winery, which touches on subjects such as the scale of China’s wine industry, the quality of its products and counterfeiting, and Get Thee to a Winery, Part II, the follow-up post which includes some information about recent awards won by Chinese wine companies and about a joint venture to create a massive ice wine facility in China.

On top of this, as a newbie to the blog scene, I was shocked when CBL gave yours truly a mention in a recent post, and awed to be associated (positively) with the word “top-notch.” See, dreams *do* come true, which means that other ones, such as a Beijing free of fake alcohol, may also one day come to pass.

The Bourbon, Rye and Whisky League, also known as BRAWL, gathered on January 20 at Tim’s Texas BBQ in central Beijing for an evening of hearty food and fine spirits. After sampling leftover Bourbon from the inaugural meeting in September and feasting on ribs and potato salad, the BRAWLers got down to a blind tasting of 8-year-old Wild Turkey Kentucky Bourbon, 10-year-old Bushmills Irish Whiskey, 12-year-old Famous Grouse Scotch and 25-year-old Alberta Springs Canadian Rye.

Ed Ohlin provided a primer on the spirits (noting, for example, that Scotch often has hints of peat - compressed weeds and grass) and answered questions (for example, “Why would the human palate desire a burnt-wood flavor?” to which Ed explained that charred barrels are used because distillers want the complexity and color that the carmalized sugars in oak bring out during the aging process).

The tasting aimed to show the differences between these spirits and the BRAWLers spent some quality time pondering which of the four shot glasses facing each of them held the Bourbon, Rye, Scotch and Irish Whisky respectively. After much sniffing and sipping, three people - Sarah E., Brad S. and Alan S. - correctly guessed all four spirits. In terms of favorites, a rough poll saw Alberta Springs come out on top (5.5 votes), followed by Bushmills (4.5), Famous Grouse (3) and Wild Turkey (1: that would be Ed).

Here are some brief tasting notes:

Bushmills: A sweet and slightly syrupy nose, it was light and smooth going down, and had a very palatable aftertaste. As Ed noted, with its three ingredients - barley, yeast and water - this spirit is simplicity defined.

Wild Turkey: This was slightly less sweet, with more honey than syrup aromas, and had a long and burning aftertaste, evidence of its strong proof. Alan S said, “It seems distantly North American.”

Famous Grouse: To me, this was mildest of the first three, with a slight earthy aroma and taste.

Alberta Springs: It had almost no aroma and a light aftertaste, and was very smooth. “The mouth feel is satiny,” said Ed. “This is distinct because it isn’t sharp but it has a deep color.” Someone else felt differently: “I think number four would solve a lot of ailments.” (Note: My research shows that Alberta Springs is the only 100 percent Rye distilled in Canada.)

This tasting cost 120 kuai per person, which covered the food and spirits, with the leftover Whisky going toward icebreaker drinks at the next event. As the room could only hold 16 people, I limited the mailing list mainly to those who expressed interest in BRAWL when I first proposed the idea a year ago. Given this, and that the theme of this event seems worth a repeat, I’ll organize another blind tasting of Bourbon, Canadian Rye, Scotch and Irish Whisky (those interested in getting on the mailing list for BRAWL or more biweekly newsletter, let me know at beijingboyce@yahoo.com).

After the wine tasting at Sequoia, I met Eddie O to discuss the nuances of that esteemed organization known as BRAWL – The Bourbon, Rye and Whiskey League. We decided to hold our confab at Cheers, which continues to offer an interesting combination of live Xinjiang music, cheap booze, a pool table, and about a dozen oil paintings of nudes (the owner went to art school).
 

This gave me a chance to check out China Doll, a new three-floor club with an entrance abutting Cheers. Former Moet man Joop Shen, now working at the club, gave us a tour and my initial impression was good. China Doll has skipped the large open spaces, excessive neon and annoying light displays of other places and gone for intimacy - cozy seating, subtle lighting and clever use of mirrors and space (though the bathroom has some problems). I’ve been back twice and my next newsletter will have a full report on the drinks, service and ambience (to join the mailing list, email beijingboyce@yahoo.com with “Eat, Drink and Be Merry” in the subject line).
 

We returned to Cheers and after a long and confusing discussion with Eddie O about Jagermeister – does the mascot we see around town look more like a reindeer or a moose? – headed for Browns to see if the owner, Philip, received the bottle of Bourbon that Eddie O left him as a wedding present.
 

On the way, we popped into Swing, a bar I have passed a hundred times, but never entered, given my aversion to establishments on the main Sanlitun North strip. I had heard that this place has a great band from the Philippines and they were indeed fun if eclectic, with the last four songs covering Suzanne Vega, Nirvana, what sounded like Joan Jett, and Pink Floyd (the guitarist really got into the last one, though the bassist looked in pain and possibly in need of prunes). After the set, the band members circulated and talked to the patrons, while the DJ played his own eclectic set, ranging from Queen to The Proclaimers.
 

Swing is small and packed tight with seats, but the layout works, and the atmosphere is cozy, the crowd diverse and the place a cut above the average bar on this strip (the band helps). Eddie O thought the beer was too pricey (Heineken: 35 kuai) and the bathroom facilities too limited (one person at a time). “They want you to buy the beer here and process it somewhere else,” he said. But if I were to regularly stop on this strip, and that’s purely hypothetical, Swing would likely be my place.
 

We headed for Browns. About a dozen people there looked like bit players from The Dukes of Hazzard or Talladega Nights. What a joy to have someone wearing a tank top, in January, brush by after working up a massive sweat dancing on the bar top. That fashion statement is hard to top unless that same person is WEARING A BACKWARDS BASEBALL CAP! Okay, Ill stop making fun now and just say that Eddie O, Philip and I enjoyed a few drops of Bourbon, watched the crowd, thanked to the Prime Mover that we had decided against wearing tank tops and shortly thereafter called it a night.

A dozen of us gathered on January 5 in Sanlitun Sequoia Cafe to try four wines and cheeses from Canada. As I had just returned from two weeks in The Great White North, it was a nice way to ease back into Beijing life.

All four wines came from the West Coast and first up was Blasted Church Chardonnay, which had some citrus and sour apple on the nose, though it was a bit acidic for my liking. (How did the winery get its name? Sequoia owner Frank Siegel says that workers dynamited the church in the 1920s to loosen its nails and more easily dismantle and move it.) Sticking with the religious theme, we had a Church & State Merlot that featured raspberry, blackberry and other dark fruit aromas, followed by an Inniskillin Merlot, with a stronger bouquet, very fruity flavors and a hint of candy apple. Last up was the Sumac Ridge Cabernet, which seemed a bit bland to me, though to be fair I think the cheeses were overwhelming the wine by this point. Frank said it would go with wild game, such as moose or lamb, and conceded that street kebabs count as the latter. (By the way, attendee S. Heath said the best way to cook moose, in case you were wondering, is to get a no-bone cut, pierce it with a knife, stuff the hole with garlic, sear the meat shut, and layer it with bacon before cooking. This is the “The Jack Buck Way,” apparently after a big game hunter in Canada.) While all the wines received praise, the Chardonnay seemed to be the overall favorite, while I gave top marks to the Inniskillin.

As for the cheeses, the Moonstruck Beddis Blue was the best I’ve tasted since a Shropshire Blue at a Beijing Cheese Society event way back in November 2005. It was creamy, not too pungent, slightly nutty, and melted in the mouth. Jenn Hinkle, who is writing about wine in Beijing (more on this next issue) put it this way: “It tastes like a barn of cows smells.” (She meant that in a good way.) The other cheeses included a Comox Triple Cream Camembert (a mild, naturally pasteurized cheese with near-cheesecake texture), a Quebec five-year-old cheddar (good mouth-drying stuff and not too crumbly) and the rosemary-topped Salt Spring Island Chevre (a stinky, gooey goat cheese with a texture approaching yoghurt). Interestingly, attendee D. Heath said Salt Spring Island, off the coast of British Columbia, has been home to hippies and thus into organic food for 30 or 40 years, but is now becoming popular with the moneyed class and this is causing conflicts.

This tasting cost 160 kuai per person and was one of the regular Friday wine events organized in the Sanlitun branch of Sequoia Café (email frank.siegel@gmail.com to get on the mailing list). Kudos to Holden Jang, who not only designed Sequoia Cafe and Tim’s Texas BBQ, but also brought the wine and cheese from Canada.

I popped over to The Wine Cellar (Henderson Center, 3F) and met Garry Anderson, who is with both Auswine Alliance and Beijing GLP, which are representing Australian family-owned vineyards. Garry plans to open a few bottles of wine each Thursday afternoon from 4 to 7 for those who want to give them a try. Upcoming tastings will cover Little Wine Company on January 18 and Frog Rock on January 25. During my visit, we tried a Celestial Bay Semillon Sauvignon Blanc 2006 from the Margaret River region in southwestern Australia. It had a tangy citrus nose and was fresh and zesty. We also had a Frog Rock Chardonnay 2004, which didn’t do much for me. For more information, contact Garry at 13552-274-667.

Yours truly got a shout in a China Daily article, “The bursting bar bubble” (January 6, 2007), though it might best be described as a single dorky quote: “Unfortunately, this is not an easy market to serve, if only for the simple reason that Beijing is not Shanghai.”  I didn’t mean that literally.

Obviously, Beijing and Shanghai are separate cities: the former has a wealth of historical landmarks, including the Forbidden City and Temple of Heaven, while the latter is a modern-day metropolis, with that tall Pudong skyscraper with the round blob on top as well as international restaurants such as, uh, Hooters.

I meant that success in Shanghai’s bar and restaurant scene doesn’t guarantee success in Beijing’s, and that investors expanding into the latter from the former forget the differences between these two cities at their own peril. It’s not exactly the most earth-shattering observation, but still relevant given the kind of establishments popping up in the north.

Luckily, few readers will remember my words since Sequoia owner Frank Siegel was quoted in the same article as saying, “there’s a lot of churning,” which raises (at least for me) images of a middle-aged Pittsburg man making butter.

Anyway, the article’s other point was that bars generally don’t last long as going concerns, something the recent demise of Icehouse makes all too plain and that isn’t really news. Some points from the article:

- 278 bars have registered with the Beijing Administration of Industry and Commerce (there are plenty of illegal ones out there).

- Still going strong after five years in the Haidian District is the Magic Rock bar (never heard of it).

- And in 2001, the first edition of that’s Beijing listed 200 bars (actually, it was 100) and only 11 are still operating. Can anyone name these?

A darkened door greeted me at Icehouse on Thursday night and further investigation revealed that this bar - the first to fly in blues bands from Chicago, the home for Chopschticks comedy shows and a regular venue for Beijing Cheese Society events - has finally closed after a long struggle to push the high-end envelope in Wangfujing. Icehouse will apparently re-open elsewhere this fall as part of The Legation group of restaurants. Remaining area watering holes include Garden of Delights and Champagne. I’ll have more on the meltdown at Icehouse next issue. / Browns managing partner Philip Cheung married long-time girlfriend Amy at the pub over the holidays. Meanwhile, supervisor Jackie Kong is on extended leave and marketing head Graheme Drew has left for other pursuits, thus taking some energy and personality out of the bar. Browns will celebrate its one-year anniversary on Friday (January 19) with the two-for-one deal that got the place off to a flying start in the first place. / Word has it that Alex Kreilein, who appeared out of nowhere last year and started making good cheap drinks at Phil’s Pub, will return to our fair city this summer. Let’s hope he brings his cocktail shaker. / It’s been ages since my last reconnaissance mission around Workers’ Stadium and a recent hike showed that, beside obvious renovations to the sports facilities, change has been in the air. Gongti East: A sizeable complex now stands erect where the former Maggie’s once squatted and will apparently house fancy restaurants, bars and, if the lettering on a giant green tarp surrounding the place is right, a spa. Nearby, Le Quai continues to offer a nice spot for enjoying coffee and watching people skate. Gongti South: Dance club Mix has a new concrete facade adorned with giant posters advertising upcoming DJs. Across the way, scaffolding stands about three meters in front of Vics and Outback Steakhouse, where a large sign proclaims it is “business as usual” at the latter. Gongti West: Club central remains home to the city’s most ferocious liquor advertising battle, with Johnnie Walker, Chivas and Hennessey fighting for space. The building behind is packed with restaurants, including Three Guizhou Men, Mallikan (Indian), Hot Loft (hot pot), Kuo Bee Pen Da (Chinese) and Coco Cafe, as well as the new Club Babi. Gongti South: As mentioned, Pipes Cafe went singular and dropped the “s” while investing in a new sign that pays homage to Coors Light, while upscale spots such as Face (up the street) and China Lounge (just inside the park) have upped the ante in this area. / A year since my last visit to Souk and this place remains a decent Saturday night retreat, with plenty of nooks for chatting, drinking and, for those who are pretentious or just too lazy to smoke a cigarette, enjoying hookahs. The major drawback: my Bloody Mary came with about a half-ounce of vodka and no Worchester Sauce or celery salt, the latter two ingredients easily available at Jenny Lou’s up the street. / China Expat Magazine published its “2006 China National Bar Awards,” which cover an impressive 25 cities as well as Ulan Bator in Mongolia. The picks for Beijing were Centro, Suzie Wong, Browns, Aperitivo, Bookworm, Face, Pavillion and Maggies. See www.chinaexpat.com for details. / Numerous readers have complained about service at The Bookworm. My own story unfolded last month, when I took two visiting journalists there for lunch to show off the place. We, like most patrons, spent an hour having our annoyance at the long wait for food interrupted by spurts of anticipation whenever a waiter appeared with a plate (is it mine? is it mine?). Turns out much of the kitchen staff had quit. Fine, but why not tell people, so they can decide, on a working day, if the wait is worth it? To its credit, The Bookworm waived our bill, and I’ve since been back for lunch with no problems, but it seems there is some disgruntlement out there and that mixed experiences (see Choose the Gerbil! below) are par for the course at this busy spot (and yes, we do appreciate the books and seminars).

A long time ago (three or four years) in a land far way (Taipei), a newsletter arose that not only saved readers some hard-earned coin and directed them to the city’s best drinking holes (which they quickly filled), but also gave them plenty of mid-week laughs (thus burning off calories gained by drinking beer). Its author, the often wily and sometimes wobbly Winopete, has now relocated to Shanghai and turned his pen and liver loose. Here is an excerpt from his first newsletter (email winopetechina@yahoo.com to get on the mailing list. Mention Beijing Boyce and you maybe might possibly be entered into a draw that could have you driving away in - or is it drinking? - a brandspanking new Flaming Lamborghini!)

TRADER VIC’S (598 Fengyang Road, cnr of Da Tian Road)If you’re willing to pay more for good, polite service, well made cocktails and cozy ambience, Trader Vics might be for you. The Shanghai branch of this international, US-based chain opened on 29th December. Staff include a manager who worked in their London restaurant for 8 years, and some staff from their Dubai establishments. Like other Trader Vics, wooden Polynesian fishing traps, tikki carvings of well-endowed tikki gentlemen and other Pacific-influenced artwork adorn the walls and ceilings. Their specialist list of 70+ cocktails (alcohol and fruit jiuce based) makes for fine reading and even better drinking. Priced mostly around the RMB75-85 mark, the cocktails are served often in fancy mugs, bowls and other unusual receptacles. Compared to the Trader Vics in Taipei, the Shanghai TV drinks are slightly weaker, but add the magic words, “the old way” to some, like the Mai Tai, and you’ll get a much stronger concoction. There is also a good wine list but prices are at least 30% higher than most other Shanghai places that fancy themselves as wine purveyors. House wines begin at RMB80/glass for the ubiquitous Eaglehawk Chardonnay. Note, drinks are half price during the daily 5-7pm happy hour.

A darkened door greeted me at Icehouse on Thursday night and further investigation revealed that this bar - the first to fly in blues bands from Chicago, a regular venue for Beijing Cheese Society events and home for Chopschticks comedy shows - has closed after a long struggle to push the high-end envelope in Wangfujing. Word has it that Icehouse will re-open elsewhere this fall as part of The Legation group of restaurants. Icehouse is an interesting story because of the involvement of Handel Lee (Three on the Bund in Shanghai, Courtyard in Beijing, The Legation) and other influential investors, because RBL (Restaurant, Bar and Lounge), of which it was a component, received positive coverage in the international press and because it exposed Beijing residents to Chicago blues (and with no cover charge!), among other things. I’ll have more on this soon…

The Chicago Tribune reports that Chinese imports of Scotch whisky have jumped nearly 30-fold from 2001 to 2005 and, according to a source at the Scotch Whisky Association, China will soon rank among the top ten consuming nations. Scotch is becoming a status symbol for China’s middle class, which is equivalent in size to the population of the United States, states the article. “America remains the most lucrative export market for Scotch whisky, but China has become an object of desire for Scottish distillers not only because of its size but because China’s whiskey drinkers tend to be in their late 20s and early 30s – a more desirable target market than British or American drinkers who generally are older.” It’s great news for those in the green tea industry, given that many Chinese like to use it as mixer with their Chivas.

Who can turn the world on with a smile? Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? Well, Mary Tyler Moore, of course, but surely Beijing-based public relations guru and all-around yuk-meister Imagethief deserves consideration. Here’s a shout out to two of his posts about drinking in China.

How to Survive a Chinese Drinking Party will help you emerge as victor rather victim next time you are up against clients, co-workers, classmates or students in a game of who can get drunk the fastest. Tactics include toasting weak drinks against strong ones, watering down booze, feigning unconsciousness, and doing absolutely anything to reduce intake of baijiu, which I-Thief defines as, “China’s liver- and brain-dissolving white spirit.”

Unforgivable Bartending Sins looks at a pub that surfaces in I-Thief’s ‘hood and falls between the city’s poles of “swish hotel uber-bars such as Aria, Centro or Red Moon” and “the dives, of which Beijing has countless hundreds.” The bar is doomed, he writes, not least because its prices approach five-star hotel levels, yet the bartenders can’t make a Whiskey Sour.

The last post provided *suggested* resolutions for bar patrons and this one looks at bar owners and staff. The first group of resolutions appeared in the newsletter early last year. The second group appeared in an article I wrote for The Insider’s Guide to Beijing that came out last fall.

From the newsletter:

I shall not ask customers to pay for my mistakes, such as the difference between the RMB60 I have programmed into the cash register for a pint of Guinness and the RMB50 I’ve errantly printed on the menu; I shall accept the one-time loss of revenue rather than the permanent loss of the customer.

I shall not remove, nor lay hand upon, any glass containing more than a half-mouthful of liquid unless the patron whose glass it is has exited the premises or indicated it be taken away; nor will I hover above said patron waiting for him/her to finish that final mouthful; if I do so because of a shortage of glasses, I will take measures to have more purchased.

I will not pick my nose or ears, scratch my armpits or nether regions, or engage in any other unseemly conduct before handling food; nor will I regurgitate phlegm and mull it in my mouth in front of customers.

I will not practice my Chinese / English / other language with customers who do not wish to do so (and will learn to recognize when they are doing so out of politeness), bore them with lengthy stories about a particular alcohol’s history, or make asides on what are obviously their private conversations.

[Specifically for managers]

I will not chastise, denigrate or mock my employees in front of patrons as it makes me look unprofessional and my customers feel uncomfortable; I will defend those same employees from unreasonable and obnoxious patrons.

From the Insider’s Guide:

I shall not serve red wine ice cold or white wine lukewarm, not keep an opened bottle of wine for months on end, hoping that a customer might just happen along and buy a glass.

I shall make standard drinks with at least one-and-a-half ounces of alcohol; I shall not use one ounce or (gasp!) three-quarters of an ounce, and will not cite some 5,000-year-old Chinese measuring system as an excuse.

I shall ensure that the brand of alcohol indicated on the label matches the brand of alcohol contained in the bottle.

I shall remember that a Bloody Mary comes with a celery stalk.

I shall fully wash the soap off the glasses, use clean water when doing so, and use clean towels when wiping them dry.

I shall avoid serving any drink that is on fire, fully recognizing that putting highly flammable substances around inebriated patrons is a cocktail for disaster.

I shall not wait for the customer to remind me to bring back the change, but will instead assume he/she wants it promptly delivered.

These resolutions first appeared last January in the newsletter. I thought I’d mark the New Year by posting them on the blog.

I shall not equate the intelligence of a bar owner or employee with his/her proficiency in my language and will thus refrain from voicing such things as “gin AND tonic,” “ginnnnnnnn and tonnnnnnic” or “gin… and… tonic,” nor shall I become incensed for him/her misunderstanding my pathetic attempts at speaking his/her language.

I shall not assume that because I am in a boisterous mood, everyone else should be, and will thus refrain from hugging, giving high fives to, clinking glasses with at near-breakage speeds or inviting to be members of my luge team those patrons / strangers who are obviously uninterested.

I shall retreat to a secluded area when I expect to be on my cell phone for more than three minutes, thereby sparing fellow patrons from stories about last night’s “score,” pleas to an upset spouse, or details of the soap opera about so-and-so’s co-worker’s boyfriend’s best friend’s sister breaking up with “some guy who totally is, like, soooooo lame.”

I shall not take advantage of my position as a patron to fondle the bar’s owner, manager, bartenders, wait staff, cooks, cleaners, security guards or suppliers, or any of their relatives or pets that may happen to be on the premises.

I shall never reach behind the bar to grab objects, such as knives or corkscrews, nor stand there in an attempt to appear as part of the “in” clientele, as I am only being a nuisance to the staff and as interesting as a coat rack to the patrons; should I go behind the bar, I will either wear a disguise or claim to be Da Shan, which would defeat the whole purpose of showing off, so instead I shall sit on my bar stool, drink my beer and relax.

Having just returned to Beijing after a two-week break, I was nestled all snug at The Bookworm on January 2 when a fellow patron showed the seasonal spirit by sharing her long, loud and inane phone call with everyone. Some fumed as the conversation neared the 30-minute mark, but the 2007 model of Beijing Boyce believes that if life gives you lemons, make lemonade, or at least martini twists (let’s see how long this attitude lasts). Thus, I typed in some of her ripostes and added a few of my own as part of a game. To play, read these 15 responses and guess which 10 she made and which five I created:
 

1) Are you having a good time?
2) I thought that finished last night.
3) Santa put a permanent tattoo on my forehead. It says, “Insert brain here.”
4) That makes no sense. Actually, when I think about it - hey, *that* still makes no sense!
5) Thank *you* for calling *me*.
6) My horoscope said that being loud and boring will make my ass smaller, but it’s not working.
7) Oh my gawd! I didn’t know that!
8) I’m living proof that first cousins can successfully breed.
9) Knowing my luck, I’d pass out.
10) She didn’t go out on New Year’s Eve? Wow!
11) I can’t believe she went to bed early!
12) My New Year’s resolution is to annoy people so much that they leave The Bookworm. Wait, mission accomplished!
13) I’ll stand on a table and yell it.
14) He’s like, “It’s three o’clock and I can’t sleep,” and I’m like, “That’s nice sweetie,” then he’s like…
15) The relationship got to a point where I told him to make a choice: it’s either the gerbil or me.