Beijing Boyce

Email: “I think you may have saved me something in the region of 300 to 400 RMB by telling me how badly overpriced Face is. A girl I had a date with cheekily suggested the place! I counter-recommended the old Black Sun.” - JB

BB: Beijing Boyce is happy to help. Black Sun seems a rather extreme drop-off from Face, however, akin to skipping blue cheese martinis at Centro in favor of vodka and Red Bull at Kai Club or rejecting her suggestion of The Orchard for dinner and going instead to Steak and Eggs. There is middle ground and I recommend The Tree or Stone Boat as such. In any case, I hoped you kicked her butt at foosball!

Email: “I concur with the Stone Boat terrace option [mentioned in the last BB]. I went with two visitors for a wine ‘tasting’ on Saturday and the location is sublime.” - AH

BB: I was among the first people to hang out at Stone Boat (Amy and Jonathan era), not because I have a knack for finding new spots, but because former that’s Beijing Cai Guy and current ASC Fine Wines Guy Perri Dong introduced me to it. I was new to town and, given chilly nights and stressful days, Stone Boat was a warm and relaxed retreat from reality. It helped that I was in “tourist” mode, thus making a sedate Qing Dynasty-style teahouse set on a pond in a park in the center of a morphing world capital of fifteen million seem pretty cool. The Stone Boat also had (and has) wireless. However, those were the heydays of First Café. In The Legendary Battle for Beijing Boyce’s Liver, George and Echo’s martinis routed Stone Boat’s hot chocolates. Thus, I traded caffeine-laced serenity for a shadowy interior, dizzying jazz and blues, and intoxicating vodka potions. Oh, how young and reckless was I then!

Email: “This is the best place in Beijing.” – PA (sitting beside me in The Bookworm)

BB: The Bookworm has top-notch seminars, an excellent selection of food and drink, and a pleasant rooftop garden, but to be “the best” requires a crucial step: hiring me as a security guard with total discretion as to which patrons to bounce down that long flight of stairs. Take last night, when the woman across from me verbally galloped for an hour at high volume and with a voice reminiscent of a squeaky door. Bounce. Take last week, when two lovebirds sat in front of me and shared a toasted sandwich that they ate with mouths open, molars revealed and masticated tomatoes, cheese and bacon visibly and audibly on churning display. Bounce and bounce. Take the people who avoid sneezing on their own laptop screens and instead send the mist toward yours, who scream “Wei!” into a cell phone a half-dozen times, or who for hours lightly sing, hum or tap out with their pencil some annoying Black Eyed Peas’ song. Bounce, bounce and bounce. Thus, PA, until justice reigns – and service is more consistent – The Bookworm will only be “one of the best.”

Email: “This is Alex (the former American bartender at Phil’s)… I’ll be coming back to Beijing soon but I’m not too sure when. I’ll keep you informed.” – AK

BB: To those who missed it, Alex suddenly showed up at Phil’s earlier this year and for a few months helped Sally whip up cheap but good drinks. He also wore the diplomat’s hat and quelled rowdier patrons, making him a nice addition to a nice pub. Let’s hope he has time to mix a few cocktails at Phil’s when he returns to our fair city.

Email: “I always read your newsletter, but I too find it difficult with that font. Can you change it to Arial narrow perhaps?” - PM

BB: You got it. Ladies, Gentlemen and Barbarians, this issue of Beijing Boyce sports this fall’s most fashionable font - Arial narrow.