Browns put its money where its mouth is by holding an all-night two-for-one party two weeks ago. The special didn’t suddenly end halfway through the evening when the owner panicked about losing money. It wasn’t limited to those drinks that are dirt cheap to make. And the drinks themselves were not watered down. It all raised the question: Was this really happening in Beijing? I mean, did I really witness from opening to closing – which came sometime after I left at 4 AM – Guinness and Kilkenny for a mere 17.5 kuai per pint? Browns move shocked some bar owners, particularly since Guinness costs them around 30 kuai a pint, but to me it made perfect sense. The bar lost money on the draft, made money on the mixed drinks, and on the night ended up just below break-even, a loss that was a fraction of the cost of a magazine ad and that was necessary to show off the place to hundreds of people. It’s called marketing.

I’ve now been to Browns about ten times, either for drinks or food, and it has the potential of becoming the year’s best bar. (Its impact is already evident from the scores of wine, food, hotel, and bar industry people checking it out). First, the investors (11 in total) have put money not only into hardware, but also into software. The hardware was fairly easy since the bar is a knockoff of Carnegie’s in Taipei, with everything copied from the list of 366 shooters to the general layout, which includes a standing area, tiered seating, and a long bar that can hold both drinks and dancers. In terms of software, Browns has hired employees from Beijing, Hong Kong, The Philippines and Ireland, and is putting money into marketing.

Second, Browns is unpretentious. The clientele includes expatriates and locals, equal numbers of men and women, and everyone from twenty-something students to sixty-something CEOs. Blue jeans and blue pinstripe suits are equally welcome. Third, the location is good, near the Bookworm, Midnight, Banana Leaf and numerous other places. These establishments are bringing an increasing number of customers to the area and complementing one other. Fourth, it is something new. Love it or hate it, the people I talked to saw it as clearly different from other bars in town (everyone except Agent Red Wolf, who called it “a big Suzie Wong’s”).

Unsurprisingly, given it is a new bar, all is not perfect. Browns does not take credit cards, the menu is full of mistakes (“Long Sex Island Beach”) and some employees have incredible difficulty understanding drink orders (my friend Pony suggests numbering the shooter specials: “number three” is easier for non-English speaking staff to comprehend than “Fisherman’s Wharf” or “Hell on Earth”). Extremely annoying wall monitors are everywhere. And Eddie O, at Browns last Saturday night, says, “You should never ask, “How would you like your ribs done?” That’s just not a question you ask about ribs.”

Worst of all is the inconsistent music. During the two-for-one party, the DJ played plenty of recognizable if sometimes cheesy songs, including hits by eighties artists ranging from Billy Idol to Soft Cell to Michael Jackson. One week later? After hours of soul-draining dance tunes, the DJ suddenly yelled, “My name is Matt and I am your maestro!” (Yawn.) Really, do we need someone to shout things like “Let’s get the party started and, uh, uh, uh… it’s two for one!” It gives the place all the class of a small-town high school dance. (I also get the feeling that Browns is trying a bit too hard to get the dance-on-the-bar-top thing going.) Carnegie’s in Taipei thrives because it is consistent, including with its music. It’s a good model to follow and if Browns is as clever at running the bar as it was in opening it, this place should succeed.

(By the way, if someone says “this is the hottest bar in town” at the very moment you are listening to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” having a rather regular gin and tonic and watching two nerdy expatriates try to pick up a pair of local cuties, does that say more about Browns or about the local bar scene?)

(From Beijing Boyce XI, first emailed on February 23, 2006)