Beijing Boyce

In issue V:

• Grande Move for Le Petit Gourmand
• Dirty Deeds (Qingdao Cheap)
• Maggie’s: See and Don’t Be Seen
• Chillin’ at Pavillion
• We Got Mail
• Final Sips
• Plus: A Boy’s Story (in six parts).

Next issue: Bling Dynasty: My New Rap Band.

As always, if you like the newsletter, please let others know about the website. BB.

Grande Move for Le Petit Gourmand

First The Bookworm relocated and became a runaway success with its 14000-plus books, high ceilings, excellent seminars and tasty eats. Now Le Petit Gourmand (LPG), once home of The Bookworm and recent victim of Sanlitun’s chai campaign, has new digs.

LPG is in Tongli Studio, below Bar Blu, and is a cozy spot to enjoy a coffee, flip through books and surf the net. While Bookworm has a university library feel (with beer), LPG is more café/restaurant. Said one friend: “It’s cozy and nookie [whatever that means].”

LPG offers bigger mugs of coffee (same price: RMB15) and a more extensive menu (though the food is so-so). It is also more peaceful, primarily because it is emptier or, to put it diplomatically, “sparsely populated.” I spent four hours with friends there last Sunday and we all gave it thumbs up, although the service was spotty. More good news: LPG has an excellent deck that, come spring, will be ideal for getting comfy with a paperback and a hot cup of java.

A Boy’s Story I: It started off as a gaggle of consonants and vowels flying to and fro along a telephone wire. “C’mon out for a drink, Mikey boy!” After a dozen such gaggles, Mikey – also known by his rapper name, M-West– arrived in a sweater tailor-made for a peacock’s wardrobe. It was a portentous sign.

Dirty Deeds (Qingdao Cheap)

I caught the one-set AC/DC tribute show by the aptly named Dirty Deeds band, November 23 at Yugong Yishan. The lead singer howled through a dozen songs, including some classics, which he naturally derided since you’re not cool unless you know the arcane stuff. The songs I recall: Sin City, Let Me Put My Love into You, Big Balls, High Voltage, Hells Bells, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, Highway to Hell, Girls Got Rhythm, and T.N.T. Have a Drink on Me was a trip down memory lane (specifically to a few years back when I dressed up and played a cardboard guitar to that song in front of 200 Korean female university students. Enough said).

The singer encouraged the crowd to drink, smoke and use vile language. Many complied, so it was kind of like hanging out with 14-year-olds who have a few bottles of beer, a pack of cigarettes and just discovered the F-word. People bobbed their heads during the set, but only got dancing during the last song. No worries: the band came out for a two-song and a one-song encore, taking the singer’s vocal chords to the edge of their raspy limits. Unfortunately, it was Dirty Deeds’ last show of 2005. Tickets: RMB30. Qingdao: RMB10.

A Boy’s Story II: Given his colorful attire, what perchance do you think M-West ordered? A Blue Hawaii? A strawberry-mango Daiquiri? Perhaps he went so far as to have a Doggie’s Breakfast? My friends, he was far beyond that; he was on a trip without boundaries; he was, in essence, thinking outside the bottle.

Maggie’s: See and Don’t Be Seen

Agent Red Wolf and I stopped into the new Maggie’s last Saturday. The Maggie’s of old was popularly known as a place for male members of the species to engage with what we’ll call female Mongolian ambassadors, but also had an excellent layout and DJ, decent food (including the best hotdogs in town), spotless bathrooms and unparalleled people watching opportunities. The new one, just across from Zing by Doodoo’s and on the fringe of Ritan Park, offers much of this – including the hotdog cart out front – although the narrow layout and slicker décor has less charm.

Once inside, and with a hotdog (figuratively) under her belt, Red Wolf became annoyed at her inability to procure a drink. Strangely, I managed to get one in about 4.2 seconds. We parked near the dance floor to watch men who were apparently unaware of the nature of the place. The guy wearing a cowboy hat and doing the “you stole my heart” dance, complete with hand motions, was the best. I also liked the guy dancing alone – how that happens when women outnumber men two to one, I do not know. In any case, we had to leave after 20 minutes before the trickle of bids for Red Wolf’s carnal treasure turned into a flood. Qingdao: RMB20; hotdogs: RMB20.

A Boy’s Story III: Ever experimental (with an emphasis on mental), our young imbiber tossed aside all tradition, all decorum, all signs from a queasy stomach prepared to pounce on any content even slightly offensive. He grinned his grin, flicked his eyelashes at the bartender, and uttered words that shall forever be remembered in Beijing bar history: “Grand Marnier and soda, please.” I repeat (in bold): Grand Marnier and soda.

Chillin’ at Pavillion

When Frank’s Place (between The Den and City Hotel) closed a while back, its two partners went separate ways. One opened the Pavillion two weeks ago while the other is completing a 1400 square meter monster of a bar, due open in January, near Lido Hotel. Last issue, I included random observations about The Pavillion’s opening night. I’ve since returned thrice, including trips with Agent Red Wolf and Agent Hidden Dragon, and can provide a fuller report.

The Pavillion has done an excellent job with layout and décor. It has large and comfy leather chairs, a faux fireplace, two stand-up bars, various cubby holes, a glass-walled wine room and a forest out back (spend a few moments looking at it and feel your blood pressure drop). It’s a bit too spic and span, but character will come in time. The staff is friendly, the service is solid, and one hopes the employees can walk the fine line between friendliness and obtrusiveness, a little known skill in this town.

In any case, Agent Hidden Dragon liked the Champagne (Laurent Perrier; RMB78 per glass) and the décor, but thought the music was “too common.” Agent Red Wolf also liked the décor (“it’s like a five-star hotel lounge”) and the spring rolls (excellent presentation, though pricey at RMB45), although she didn’t find the Americano cocktail strong enough and thought the martini sub-par (I gave it a sip and she was right). She also thought the music “too old” and “not sexy enough.” Let’s face it, RW is a hard agent to please, but she did have a point: it was odd to be reclining in luxury in the early eve and listening to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” and Prince’s “1999.”

This mismatch is reflected elsewhere in the Pavillion and suggests the place is still finding down its identity. Let’s take a couple that arrives, sits by the fireplace and orders a nice bottle of wine. How happy will they be when, 30 minutes later, the music cuts out and the TVs come on, high volume, with the pre-game analysis for a rugby game? What is the Pavillion? A sports bar? A wine bar? A restaurant? A cigar lounge? A dance club (there was live band on opening night)? All of the above?

The other issue is clientele: Based on my visits, the target market appears to be over-35 expatriates with decent salaries. I’m guessing the new bar in Lido, not to mention other establishments, are targeting the same crowd. Given the finite number of moneyed foreigners, will there be enough to go around or will The Pavillion have to seek patrons elsewhere? In any case, it is a welcome addition to Beijing’s bar scene and definitely worth a look. It’s just across the street from Babyface, about 10 meters to the south.

Two final notes: 1) Last issue I griped that the The Pavillion lacked a foot rail. The proprietor, Russell, said they didn’t like the rail they ordered and will get another one. Fair enough. 2) The Pavillion plans to have barbecues out back once the weather warms up and this should be an excellent place to sit back with some food and drinks.

A Boy’s Story IV: I repeat, Grand Marnier and soda.

We got mail: From the nimble fingers of more than a half-dozen readers comes the following query.

Who else reads this newsletter? As of today, there are just over 200 people on the mailing list. This includes people who own, manage or work in bars, restaurants and food companies (9%), hotels and clubs (7%), and wine companies (7%). About 12% of readers are in the media and another 3% run groups such as the Beijing Cheese Society. The remaining 62% are mainly people who love to eat and drink, and include everyone from co-workers and business acquaintances to my friends (including my First Café buddies) and the people they’ve referred. I think it’s a nice mix of people who are involved in the food and beverage industry and those who patronize it.

A Boy’s Story V: M-West sipped his drink. His wee eyes became beady, a drop of sweat slid down his goiter and hung there seemingly forever, his blood sugar rose to a threatening near-diabetic level, his masculinity ebbed like the soul of a monk turned lady bar tout. For he ordered the drink that should not be named and whose name hath not been uttered by any of our planet’s six million citizens: Grand Marnier and soda.

Final Sips

I generally oppose capital punishment, but make a few exceptions. People who habitually enter elevators before letting those inside get out and taxi drivers who haven’t brushed their teeth for more than six months are two of them. I’m adding another group: those who mix 12-year-old Chivas Regal with green tea. Yes, I’m willing to pull the switch on you guys. ~ Montrose has a half-price sale on select wines in its Kerry Centre store, until December 3. ~ This just in: HBO Asia recently sent out a memo informing staff to play at least three Indiana Jones movies per day. Well, at least it seems that way. ~ Coming next issue, reports on a Bordeaux wine tasting, a Yunan restaurant, and a rap band I’m creating called Bling Dynasty. Cheers.

A Boy’s Story VI: It ends not with a bang, but a whisper: Grand Marnier and soda.